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Bird-Poop Gag

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Oh, s**t

George: Don't we have a deal with the pigeons?
Jerry: Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, and we look the other way on the statue defacation.
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Most birds fly. Most birds are also not potty trained. Therefore, it's statistically likely that a bird will poop on something or somebody inappropriate while flying or perching. And, of course, a lot of people (especially children) like Toilet Humour, so naturally, there will often be jokes about birds pooping in the wrong place at the wrong time.

The bird in question is often a pigeon or a gull as they are common, but any (usually flight-capable) bird will donote .

Sometimes, the idea of birds pooping on people is likened to an attack (after all, aerial attacks and birds pooping from above are both unwanted and involve things falling from the sky, although bird poop is considerably less dangerous) and some satirical works may have birds pooping on people or things on purpose. Another parody is having flying dinosaurs poop on characters or things. It is also sometimes referred to as "whitewashing" because bird poop is generally accompanied by bird urine, which is thick like paint, and white.

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Anyone can be on the butt end of a Bird Poop Gag, but it's especially common for people with prized objects (so the object gets pooped on), antagonists, sticks-in-the-mud, and unlucky people.

Compare Urine Trouble for another gag revolving around animal waste. Often involves Pesky Pigeons.


Examples

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     Advertising 
  • An advertisement for Farmers Insurance has a man in a red convertible look for a parking space. He rejects a spot with pigeons sitting on overhead wires as the ground is covered in bird poop, but instead, he parks by a construction site and the car gets covered in cement, then a bird poops on the cement.
  • One Red Bull commercial has a bird poop on a man's shoulder, so the man drinks Red Bull, grows wings, flies above the bird, and undoes his pants, which scares the bird.
  • A rather infamous Nissan commercial that aired during the Superbowl in 1997 had a flock of birds in a Top Gun spoof (complete with "Danger Zone" as background music) trying to dive-bomb a moving Maxima... with bird poop.

    Anime & Manga 
  • In the second chapter of Pokémon Adventures, a Pidgey flies above Professor Oak's head and poops on his face.
  • In an episode of Smile Pretty Cure! (cut from Glitter Force), Miyuki/Cure Happy drew 'worst luck' in a shrine and as the first part of the misfortune, a bird pooped on her head.
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     Comic Books 
  • In a Tintin book, one of the Thom(p)sons asks what guano is, after seeing piled sacks of it. Captain Haddock is not sure how to put it until a bird poops on the detective's hat, prompting Haddock to say, "Guano? Well, that's a free sample!".
  • In a four-page comic book story from The Smurfs, a Smurf is about to enjoy a dessert when a passing bird flies over it and drops poop on top of it. Later on, he tries to give that same dessert to Grouchy, but he passes on it.
  • Variation: In a mid-70's issue of Marvel's humor comic "Splat!," a page drawn by Batman artist Carmine Infantino has the Caped Crusader detailing the Batmobile, shining it up, when a white blotch drops down onto the hood. The final panel has Batman shaking his fist at the bats up in the stalactites.

     Comic Strips 
  • One The Far Side strip has people and a dog with targets on them and the caption "How birds see the world".

     Fan Works 
  • The fanfic writer A.A. Pessimal has a lot of bird poop jokes in Discworld fanfiction centering around Assassin Jocasta Wiggs, as Continuity Nod's to an appearance in canon where Sam Vimes drops her into a cesspit. The story Bungle in the Jungle has her in Howondaland, where seabirds poop on her intentionally to make art as she's on a broomstick because she's wearing black and their poop is whitish. Later on, she is introduced to a flying elephant called an osibisi and learns not to observe them from directly underneath for this reason.

     Films — Animated 
  • Double subverted in The Angry Birds Movie: As Chuck tells why he's on anger management, he's shown teasing a police officer trying to give him a ticket with his Super Speed, ending with him appearing to poop on his shoulder. It later appears to be vanilla ice cream, but later, Chuck says that it was not.
  • In The Book of Life, a bird poops on some churros that a vendor is trying to sell.
  • The Dingo Pictures film Wabuu the Cheeky Raccoon starts with two birds pooping on Wabuu's head to see if he can take a joke.
  • In Early Man, the giant duck poops on Lord Nooth during the soccer game.
  • In Make Mine Music, the episode "The Whale Who Wanted to Sing at the Met", there are seagulls in Willie's audience. The spectators beneath them seem to think this trope will happen, so they wear their programs on their heads to avoid getting dirty.
  • Rugrats Go Wild! has Angelica shout at a bird to "drop it, bighead!", meaning a cupcake that it has in its beak. The bird poops on her face instead.
  • In Shrek 2, Prince Charming is on the receiving end of this trope after making an over-the-top boast on how Shrek would pay after Shrek wrecked his mother's workshop, which (amongst other things) led to most of her workers turning into doves.

     Films — Live-Action 
  • In one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies, Rowley's pet bird poops on Patty.
  • Happens to The Thing in Fantastic Four (2005) when he's lamenting on the Brooklyn Bridge over his mutation.
  • In Fight Club, the members of Project Mayhem use bird seeds to draw a huge flock of pigeons to a Mercedes Benz dealership. The next day all the cars are covered in poop.
  • In The Flintstones, Wilma and Betty's day out shopping at a strip mall is ruined when the emergency sirens start blaring. A giant pterodactyl is approaching, and everyone scrambles to find shelter moments before the entire mall is covered in white poop.
  • In the parody film High Anxiety, a man gets pooped on by a whole lot of pigeons, parodying The Birds.
  • They Call Me Bruce (1982) uses this to parody the When You Snatch the Pebble scene in Kung Fu. Bruce, challenged to do the same by his father, replies that there's a large bird hovering over him. His father laughs at the idea that he could be fooled by such a simple trick, whereupon said bird promptly poops on his head, enabling Bruce to snatch away the stone.

     Jokes 
  • An angel comes down from heaven and wants to do a good deed. He sees a statue of a young couple, brings them back to life, and says that they can have whatever they want for twenty minutes. They hide in a bush for ten minutes and the angel says, "But you still have ten minutes left." The young people look at each other and the girl says, "Great, now you hold the pigeon and I will shit upon it."

     Literature 
  • Exaggerated in the short story "Birdsdo" by Paul Jennings. A group of birds poop copiously, so much that it's almost like a rain of bird poop.
  • In the Dirty Bertie story "Potty!", Bertie and his class go on a school trip to a historical house, the roof of which is described as being "whitewashed with pigeon poo".
  • Downplayed in Everyone Poops, which says that "fish poop, and so do birds", but doesn't show what exactly the birds are pooping on.
  • In one of the Fudge books, Uncle Feather the myna bird escapes and poops on the furniture, but they clean it up.
  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince: After one Transfiguration class session, Harry tells Dean Thomas that he's chosen as a Gryffindor Quidditch Chaser, as a temporary replacement to Katie Bell, who's still in hospital at the time. Dean leaves in excitement, leaving Harry alone uncomfortably with Seamus, whom Harry knows beforehand wouldn't like being glossed over as a potential Quidditch member. The moment only gets more awkward when one of the canaries Hermione conjures during said Transfiguration class session leaves a dropping on Seamus' head while the birds whizz over the boys.
  • Happens to Q in I, Q when he gets turned into a statue.
  • The Mapmakers Race has Carrot, the Satander kids' pet bird, "plop" as Humphrey puts it on some rivals' playing cards.
  • In Nothing But Trouble, Maisie is said to have had "the problem with the pigeon" on the way to school. It's implied to be this, as her parent is seen wiping her sleeve off.
  • In the kids' book Seagull Sid and the Naughty Things His Seagulls Did, Sid and a group of seagulls all poop on the picnickers and their belongings so that the seagulls can have the beach to themselves, with the exception of Freda (who was apparently unneeded) and Chris (who intended to, but missed).
  • In the phony newspaper The Shaggy Gully Times, a bird who teaches flying lessons eventually disallows her students to poop while flying because it caused trouble when some ostriches escaped from the zoo and one did "the biggest doo-doo ever" in the middle of the road.
  • A children's book called Zoo Poo talks about how all the animals in the zoo poop. One line is, "Toucans doo-doo when they're up in the sky" and it shows a toucan pooping on the boy.
  • In Hawk, when Vlad is trying to keep track of an invisible sorceress's precise location, Loiosh - a jhereg rather than a bird, but close enough - offers to shit on her head to make her position obvious. Vlad warns his familiar not to do this, knowing she may target Loiosh if he dares.
  • In the first book of The Wolf Chronicles, after Borlla taunts Kaala, Kaala's raven friend Tlitoo lets loose on Borlla's head, complete with an accompanying haiku:
    Pup looks better now.
    Dirty fur is nice and white,
    Thanks to raven's help.
  • In Chance and Choices Adventures, a bandit attack on the Williams Farm is thwarted by a murder of crows, apparently summoned by prayer. That said, the crows don't attack the way you might expect, instead driving off the attackers in a much more... smelly manner. The characters mention they would find the whole thing Actually Pretty Funny if the situation wasn't so serious.

     Live-Action TV 
  • Implied in the Dad's Army episode "Getting the Bird". Walker dopes a flock of pigeons and tries to sell them to the butcher for meat, but they wake up and fly into Captain Mainwaring's office, creating chaos. As the birds are being rounded up, Private Pike complains "Look what those pigeons did to my forage cap!" but Mainwaring tells him to stop complaining as it's meant to bring good luck.
  • Near the end of one episode from Family Matters, when Carl sees Steve holding a bird whistle, he's skeptical about its effectiveness in attracting birds. At Steve's encouragement, Carl tries it out. Several seconds later, a flock of birds fly above them and leaves a massive amount of droppings in their wake. Steve and Carl are unharmed because Steve holds an open umbrella over both of them, but Carl's car, which is parked outside, isn't so lucky.
  • In the Happy Days episode "Fonzie Drops In", Fonzie sees a bird sitting on his documents, and when it flies away, he observes that it's pooped.
  • As part of a prank in Just for Laughs: Gags, a police officer puts a submarine sandwich on the hood of a car he's giving a ticket to. Somebody else squirts what looks like bird poop on the sandwich and the people in the car watch in disgust as the cop eats it.
  • In an episode of Malcolm in the Middle, a man erects a large scale model of Pearl Harbor in his front yard. When the neighbor's kid covers it in worms, a flock of crow arrive in formation and dive bomb and destroy the harbor.
  • Mr. Moseby in The Suite Life of Zack and Cody becomes a victim of this at the beginning of "Birdman in Boston" when a falcon flies overhead and drops its business on his shoulder. Its progeny, who has grown older over the past weeks, also does this to Moseby by the end of the episode.
  • The Two Ronnies: The sketch "It's a Duck" opens with Ronnie Barker's character entering wearing a 'Clacton Bird Sanctuary' top. When he turns away from the camera we see it's splattered with bird droppings.

     Poetry 
  • One poem goes, "There once was a man from Wonthaggi, who went up a tree to catch a maggie. The maggie let fly and whitewashed his eye, that poor old man from Wonthaggi."
  • Another: "Little birdie flying high / Dropped a message from the sky / 'Oh,' said the farmer, wiping his eye, / 'It's lucky that my cows don't fly.'

     Video Games 
  • Aqua Pigs has seagulls as the antagonists, who poop and if it lands on your pod, then it's game over.
  • Happy Street has a seagull named Poopy who gains speed whenever she poops on the villagers.
  • WarioWare has a microgame called "Pigeon" where you have to avoid getting pooped on by a flock of pigeons.
  • Fable II has this in the opening cut scene when a robin dumps on the main character.
  • In Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel! "The Claptastic Voyage" has a quick quest where you melt down Claptrap's Dignity until he's nothing but his accessories and camera eye and then to add insult in injury a bird dropping falls on him. (How a bird got into Claptrap's programming is a mystery.)

     Webcomics 
  • Apricot Cookie(s)!: When the cast is going on a road trip, Apricot is offered the seat in the middle that has 3 different birds pooping on it.

     Western Animation 
  • The Action League Now episode, "Where Pigeons Dare" begins with the League attending the funeral for Helena XXII, the Pigeon Queen. During the funeral, one of the pigeons poops on Meltman.
  • Animaniacs: Implied in one short. The Good Feathers claim they will "dive-bomb" Mr. Plotz's new car, and splatting is heard offscreen.
  • Implied in the Donald Duck cartoon "Rear Admiral Donald". A seagull looks at Donald's hat, so Donald moves away, the implication being that the seagull wanted to poop on the hat.
  • Family Guy has a cutaway gag in one episode where Peter finds his car covered in pigeon poop and is about to do the same to the pigeon's car.
  • Subverted once in Flip the Frog. Flip sees a white glob fall on his car, looks up and sees a bird, but the bird is painting a utility pole and dripping white paint.
  • In the Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs episode "It's in Nana's Room", the dinosaurs believe that saying Nancy's species (nanosaurus) is unlucky because whenever someone says it, a birdlike creature poops on their head.
  • Hey Arnold!: Helga Pataki is often a victim of this in certain episodes when she encounters birds, such as in "Arnold's Hat", which, at one point, she narrowly avoids a flock of flying pigeons doing their business on her, only for the last pigeon that flies above her to nail her.
  • Defied in the Looney Tunes short "A Wild Hare". Bugs Bunny lets Elmer Fudd shoot him in front of a tree, but then sees two birds on the branch. Not wanting to risk being pooped on, he steps aside before giving Elmer the go-ahead.
  • The Loud House:
    • Has happened three times with Walt the canary: he's pooped on Lincoln's head, in his room, and in a dogcatcher's drink. Unfortunately, the dogcatcher drank it.
    • The page image comes from "Back Out There". Lincoln's friends are wearing rented tuxedos, which get pooped on by a flock of birds. At the end of the episode, the boys are forced by Rusty's dad to clean the tuxedos so they can be returned to the store.
    • After Lincoln and Clyde's popsicle stick birdhouse collapses with a bird inside, the bird poops on top of it.
    • Vanzilla, the family van, is often covered in bird poop. When Lynn Sr. got a new van, he became obsessive about keeping birds from pooping on it.
    • Flip the huckster claims to like a special cloth that gets bird poop off of things, but he's more trying to trick the ten older Loud kids out of their garage sale money.
  • The trope is considered in the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "A Rockhoof and a Hard Place"; the titular Fish out of Temporal Water Rockhoof is dead-set on being turned into a statue, so he spends a moment deciding on a good pose for the local birds to "decorate".
  • The Oh Yeah! Cartoons short "Kameleon Kid" at one point had the title character get back at a bully by turning into a bird and pooping on him.
  • One episode of The Penguins of Madagascar focuses on Skipper fighting with a pigeon named Frankie to prevent him from "dropping one" on the city commissioner, and ends with Frankie covered in his own poop.
  • In an episode of Phineas and Ferb, Doofenshmirtz makes a "poop-inator" to hypnotize pigeons to poop on his brother. Perry sabotages it so they poop on Doof instead.
  • In Pingu, the titular character's head gets pooped on by seagulls frequently, the official site reveals that Pingu thinks they enjoy it.
  • In The Powerpuff Girls episode "Town n' Out", this happens to Bubbles as the girls walk home through Citysville.
  • A Robot Chicken sketch revolves around a pigeon teaching his son how to poop on things, and how to select the best target. They reject the top of a bald man's head (too obvious), on a baby (Children Are Innocent), and an expensive sports car (the car was white so his poop wouldn't show up too well). They settle on some guy wandering through the park while for some reason, wearing a wetsuit and snorkel. He poops right into the snorkel, making his father proud.
  • In the Rocket Power episode "Secret Spot" Lars and his gang somehow discover the secret surfing spot (or at least they thought) and go surfing, only to learn that the water is replete with rocks. Later on, they end up getting crapped on by flying seagulls as Otto and co. leave to get to the real secret spot.
  • In Samson and Sally, there's a scene that was cut from the English dub where the seagull who's distracting the whaling captain so the titular whales can escape does this. The gull ties up the captain then poops on his head.
  • SpongeBob SquarePants:
    • In "The Sponge Who Could Fly", SpongeBob becomes a laughingstock because of his desire to fly and everyone mockingly calls him "Birdman". One background character taunts him by teasing that he's looking for a statue to poop on.
    • In "Pest of the West", SpongeBob has to clean jellyfish droppings from a statue of his Wild West ancestor SpongeBuck.
  • In the Thomas the Tank Engine episode, "The Missing Breakdown Train", Ryan takes Judy and Jerome, the breakdown cranes who haven't been called on for emergencies since Rocky's arrival to the Island of Sodor, to Arlesburgh Harbor. After having spent a day there, the cranes decide they don't like seagulls, and their cab roofs are shown covered in seagull droppings.
  • In the Total Drama episode "That's Off the Chain", a bird poops on Heather's head, which Gwen describes as karma because she'd been being mean to the girls.
  • In the pilot episode of Ugly Americans, a Manbird poops on the shoulder of a man outside the Department of Integrations. Mark Lilly walks past and says that he's heard that this is good luck.
  • The VeggieTales skit "Lunch" has a man struggle to get a candy bar from a vending machine, and just as he's about to bite into the candy bar, a bird poops on it.
  • Wishfart: When Puffin gets turned back into a normal puffin in "In Your Face, Wishpower!", he poops on Dez in the middle of him trying to be serious with Tsuni and Neptune. When Puffin is restored to normal, he asks Akiko about this.
    Puffin: Hey, Keeks. I didn't poop on anyone, did I?
    Akiko: The important thing is that you're back and that puffin poop is washable.


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