Provide disproportionate retribution to the misdemeanor above

You get an explosive pie to the face as payment.

I jaywalk.

A car runs you over.

I drove half a mile while drunk.

You get to experience Police Brutality at its finest when they catch you.

I sneaked up on a sleeping chihuahua and yelled "Boo!"

A pack of large dogs attack you.

I use a dead meme.

They turn you into a meme and then kill you by giving you to facebook moms.

I said a thing that offended someone.

Your tongue is torn out.

I was offended by something.

You are sentenced to the corniest of Sensitivity Training seminars for ten million years.

I put a Thumbtack on the Chair of my Sitcom Arch-Nemesis.

You have to sit on a chair made out of thumbtacks

I force someone to watch The English Patient

Your face is smashed into the screen.

I pour the milk first.

It spills.

I don't pass the salt when someone asks for it right away.

They get salty and beat you to a pulp.

I cuddled Ribeyrolles.

Ribby Rolles shoots you for that.

I spoil the anime.

ps: please stop just using ribbyrolles in all of your posts.

Hirohiko Araki arrives to your house and fills you with bullets.

I drink an entire 2 liter Coca-Cola drink straight from the bottle

Edited by VengefulBale on Oct 31st 2018 at 8:01:04 AM

You choke on it and have to go to the hospital.

I hug Bellatrix Lestrange, ruffle her hair, and call her 'shorty'.

Bellatrix turns you to dust with her wand.

I download jazz music illegally

Jazz musicians come to your house and beat you to death.

I flick someones ear.

They cut your ear off.

I ship Firestar with Spottedleaf, instead of Sandstorm.

You are transformed into a kittypet and taken to the Cutter.

I went to the library and deliberately shelved their books in the wrong places.

Your eyes are stabbed out with a pen.

I ask my friend to spell ICUP.

Your friend spells it out while carving the letters in your face with a knife.

I step on a dog's tail.

The dog maims you.

I stepped on a spider.

The spider kills you.

I dab.

I personally kill you for it with a chainsaw

I decided to switch the salt and sugar of a random person in a restaurant so that they'll put the salt in their coffee

They're so salty that they insult you and pour salted coffee at you to make you salty.

I killed Sigma with Hadouken.

Does that merit a punishment? Fine, here's your- NOT TELLING YOU!

I fold a corner of my book instead of using the bookmark right beside me.