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Finely Aged Suck

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Apr 7th 2011 at 3:20:25 AM

So, recently, I've come to the realization that I enjoy things that are awful. Or, more so, I find amusement in the ways in which they suck. Failure is an art, and out there lie countless masterpieces that fail in ways that are shocking, mind-blowing, and oft-hilarious, their creators wholly unaware of their supreme stupidity and genius.

With that, I feel we need a thread dedicated to these brilliant works. From Chargeman Ken, to Snakes On A Plane, from Custer's Revenge to Chick Tracts, let us celebrate the fine art of suck.

Or, in other words, this thread is for the purpose of showing and mocking bad and hilariously bad works. To set a bar on the level of suck, the work must be this bad to ride.

edited 7th Apr '11 3:26:12 AM by Miijhal

Carciofus Is that cake frosting? from Alpha Tucanae I
Is that cake frosting?
Apr 7th 2011 at 3:23:21 AM

Super Mario Bros: the Movie was awesome.

There. I said it.

But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
Apr 7th 2011 at 3:26:10 AM

If you're in the right state of mind, Con Air and The Rock become gems of comedy.

Apr 7th 2011 at 3:29:56 AM

Don't get me wrong, MacArthur is a great song, but when you get down to it, it's only great because of the mixture of ham and Narm that are presented therein.

Funnyguts Things make people happy from French Bread!
Things make people happy
Apr 7th 2011 at 5:55:27 AM

It's beautifully sung, beautifully played, but that doesn't matter when the song itself is godawful. The Donna Summers version is the same way.

,%,..@@@,.Ž%,.@G,.@@,.% / Playing with animals.
blackcat Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Apr 7th 2011 at 7:55:56 AM

Museum of Bad Art Press the collection button and be afraid.

We never go any where without our swords and boas.
Madrugada Zzzzzzzzzz Relationship Status: In season
Zzzzzzzzzz
Apr 7th 2011 at 9:08:28 AM

The Rock is indeed a wonderful way to waste part of an afternoon. The Villain is even better. Kirk Douglas knew he was in a Saturday Morning Cartoon, Ann-Margaret knew she was just there to look pretty, and Arnold Schwarzenegger was really trying to act, bless his earnest little heart.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.
blackcat Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Apr 7th 2011 at 9:13:38 AM

Date With An Angel when Phoebe Cates puts her underwear on over her jeans and grabs a gun. One of my favorite moments in cinema.

edited 7th Apr '11 9:14:11 AM by blackcat

We never go any where without our swords and boas.
ImipolexG frozen in time from all our yesterdays
frozen in time
Apr 7th 2011 at 9:22:58 AM

Also, obligatory mention of My Immortal.

no one will notice that I changed this
SPACETRAVEL from ☉
Apr 7th 2011 at 11:42:21 AM

Super Mario Bros: the Movie was awesome.

There. I said it.

Agreed with that one. Who am I not to appreciate a dude being transmogrified into a city-spanning fungus by arch-nemeses? tongue

whoever wrote this shit needs to step on a rake in a comedic fashion
captainbrass2 from the United Kingdom
Apr 7th 2011 at 12:31:42 PM

The annual Eurovision Song Contest has been a showcase for all that sucks in European pop music since at least the late 1970s (originally it had a degree of credibility - Abba first made their name by winning it).

Now it's an opportunity to sit down for a few hours and watch laughably bad songs sung stupidly by complete no-hopers from across a continent. The Eastern European and Baltic countries all vote for each other so they always win anyway and the British entry regularly comes last. {{And That's Terrible}}. Of course I watch it regularly.

"Well, it's a lifestyle"
Apr 7th 2011 at 5:41:54 PM

Well, that's... uh...

Deboss I see the Awesomeness. from Awesomeville Texas
I see the Awesomeness.
Apr 8th 2011 at 2:41:31 AM

S'not particularly a requirement.

Landstander God Of Cake from Somewhere else
God Of Cake
Apr 8th 2011 at 10:52:05 AM

I need to pimp out The Apple as much as humanly possible. Made in 1980 by the producers of the Breakin movies, it's set in the futuristic world of 1994 where an evil disco corporation has taken over the world, and these wholesome Canadian young singers become corrupted by it all and they have to break free and also, the whole thing is an allegory for the Book of Revelations. It truly must be seen to be believed.

Emperor Wu liked cake, but not exploding cake!
RalphCrown Short Hair from Next Door to Nowhere
Short Hair
Apr 8th 2011 at 12:06:47 PM

If you ignore the sci-fi trappings, Alien is nothing but a sucky slasher film. I thought it was (unintentionally) hilarious.

Another candidate: Dragon Ball Z and its sucky art. I watched it until I realized it was a series of commercials for action figures.

If you ever watched a Hammer horror film and cringed at the production values, find a copy of Dark Shadows, an honest-to-gosh TV soap opera with vampires, werewolves, witches, and more.

Under World. It rocks!
blackcat Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Apr 8th 2011 at 12:09:07 PM

Barnabas Collins.

We never go any where without our swords and boas.
Madrugada Zzzzzzzzzz Relationship Status: In season
Zzzzzzzzzz
Apr 8th 2011 at 1:23:35 PM

My older sister found a dime-store "ruby" ring that looked just like Barnabas's. I wanted that ring sooooooooooooooo bad...

edited 8th Apr '11 5:17:10 PM by Madrugada

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.
MetaFour AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN from a place
AXTE INCAL AXTUCE MUN
Apr 8th 2011 at 4:07:56 PM

The Man Who Saves The World is one of the greatest things ever. Epic story + epically cheap special effects = our heroes training by punching rocks and kicking boulders until they explode. Also, punching holes through monsters of the fuzzy orange Muppet variety.

At one point, the good guy chops his opponent in half with his bare hands. The impressive visual effect of the carnage is achieved by zooming in on the chopee's face and blacking out half the screen. A second later, the exact same shot is shown again, mirrored, conveying to the audience that they are now looking at the other half of his split head.

Also, in what other movie will do you get to see Earth blown up, twice, before the opening prologue is finished?

I didn't write any of that.
blackcat Relationship Status: A cockroach, nothing can kill it.
Apr 8th 2011 at 4:46:01 PM

We never go any where without our swords and boas.
SPACETRAVEL from ☉
Apr 8th 2011 at 4:46:19 PM

If you ignore the sci-fi trappings, Alien is nothing but a sucky slasher film. I thought it was (unintentionally) hilarious.
I thought the film was--ooo, such a pretty setting that I forgot to be scared! Sometimes the aesthetics freak in me wins.

In general, I like a lot of things that are of dubious quality because it is my nature to readily laugh at things I enjoy, but not be able to laugh at things I don't enjoy. So if something has flaws so glaring that it's funny, I'll sincerely like it.

whoever wrote this shit needs to step on a rake in a comedic fashion
Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA
Nemesis
Apr 8th 2011 at 5:43:09 PM

Alien was well done enough, in setting and acting and the like, that the fact that it had the exact same plot as a cheesy slasher movie could be easily overlooked.

For that matter, Aliens could easily be the second instalment of said movie, in which the survivor came back with a posse of law enforcement / a platoon of soldiers to take out said killer. Only to find out it wasn't just the one guy, there was a family of them.

edited 8th Apr '11 5:43:40 PM by Morven

A brighter future for a darker age.

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