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Self Demonstrating / Billy Mays

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"BILLY MAYS - the only TV spokesman allowed to speak in all caps."
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To read this page without the loud voice in your head, go here.


ARE YOU TIRED OF HAVING UNLIMITED BROWSING TIME? DOES HAVING ONLY TWO OR THREE TABS OPEN AT A TIME FRUSTRATE YOU? WELL I HAVE A SOLUTION.

HI! BILLY MAYS HERE WITH TVTROPES, THE QUICKEST WAY TO RUIN YOUR LIFE AND EAT UP ALL OF YOUR FREE TIME. BUT FIRST, A LITTLE ABOUT ME.

I WAS BORN WILLIAM DARRELL MAYS JR., AND I AM AN AMERICAN TELEVISION DIRECT-RESPONSE ADVERTISEMENT SALESPERSON MOST NOTABLE FOR PROMOTING FIX-IT, OXICLEAN, ORANGE GLO, KABOOM, ZORBEEZ, AND OTHER CLEANING, HOME-BASED, AND MAINTENANCE PRODUCTS ON THE HOME SHOPPING NETWORK, AND THROUGH MY COMPANY, MAYS PROMOTIONS, INC. I HAVE ALL THE POWER OF ALLCAPS WITHOUT THE DAMAGING SIDE-EFFECTS.

IF THE WORLD OF INFOMERCIALS AND LATE NIGHT ADVERTISING CAN BE SAID TO HAVE STARS, I AM ONE OF THE BIGGEST. MY ADVERTISING STYLE IS LARGE, LOUD AND IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE, AND I AM A FAMILIAR FACE AND VOICE TO ANYONE WHO WATCHED TV IN THE UNITED STATES AND CANADA, EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO BE.

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I ADVERTISED SEVERAL PRODUCTS, SUCH AS ZORBEEZ, OXICLEAN, KABOOM, ORANGE GLO, HERCULES HOOKS AND EVEN MORE, A $49.99 VALUE, YOURS FOR ONLY $19.99 PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! CALL NOW, AND I'LL THROW IN A REALITY TV SERIES FOR FREE! THAT'S RIGHT, I'LL THROW IN A REALITY TELEVISION SHOW AT NO ADDITIONAL COST TO YOU! BEGINNING IN APRIL 2009 AND ALONGSIDE MY BEST FRIEND AND EQUALLY RECOGNIZABLE PITCHMAN ANTHONY "SULLY" SULLIVAN, I CO-HOST A REALITY SHOW ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL TITLED PITCHMEN, WHICH SHOWS HOW MY COMPANY CHOOSES THE PRODUCTS WE PITCH AND HOW WE CREATE OUR ADS.

NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE BASEBALL PLAYER WILLIE MAYS OR BANDLEADER-COMPOSER-ARRANGER BILLY MAY.

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HERE ARE SOME PRODUCTS I HAVE SOLD:


THE SECRET'S IN THE TVTROPES MARKUP WIKI TECHNOLOGY, WHICH DESCRIBES EXAMPLES THAT I PROVIDE!:


HERE'S HOW TO ORDER! To order the Billy Mays TV Tropes page, call 1-800-555-5555. That's 1-800-555-5555. Don't delay, act now!
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