"An Illegitimate Concern" is an episode in the fifth season of The Golden Girls.
Blanche is in for a shock when a young man approaches her and claims to be the illegitimate son of her late husband, George. Meanwhile, Sophia enlists Dorothy's participation for a mother-daughter pageant at Shady Pines.
Tropes in this episode:
- Beauty Contest: The mother-daughter variant of this takes place at Shady Pines in this episode, and Sophia enlists Dorothy in it with the aim of winning against an old rival of hers.
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Rose's account of her participation in the Miss St. Olaf beauty pageant in 1951 includes the evening gown and log-rolling competition. Apparently the contestants wear their evening gowns while log-rolling.Rose: I was way ahead after the evening gown and log-rolling competition. People don't realize how hard it is to roll a log when you're wearing an evening gown.
- Broken Pedestal: Blanche's faith towards George takes a hit after his illegitimate son announces his real identity and his motive for the visit.
- Curse Cut Short: Blanche does the self-enforced version at the end the episode as she looks at a picture of her late husband, George, after learning that he had fathered a child with a mistress.Blanche: You son of a... you put me through all this, and I could've had Andy Rooney.
- Ethical Slut: Blanche Really Gets Around and, as her many stories of her teenage years prove, was equally promiscuous as a young woman. However, she never even considered cheating during her marriage to George. It's part of why the revelation of David as George's love child is so painful for her, as it suggests that he didn't treat their wedding vows as equally unbreakable.
- Exact Words: When Rose tells another one of her St. Olaf stories, Dorothy asks her to pass the newspaper. Rose, having been struck by Dorothy via the newspaper many times already, asks Dorothy to promise not to do it again after Rose hands it to her. Dorothy agrees, and Rose passes the newspaper to her... only for Dorothy to pass the newspaper to Blanche so she can hit Rose with it instead.
- Get Out!: Played for Drama after David reveals that George Devereaux was his father. Blanche goes completely pale and, in a low, dangerous tone, outright demands that he get out of her house, saying that she never wants to see him again.
- Gone Horribly Right: Overlaps with Tempting Fate. When the young male visitor expresses difficulty stating what he wants to say, Blanche advises him to just say it quickly in one go. He does, but the statement contains news that Blanche is not prepared to handle.
- Likes Older Men: Upon the young male visitor claiming to be too nervous to confide to the girls the reason for his visit, Blanche advises him to say it quickly in one go, citing a story that took place in her younger days in which she decided to dump the Captain of the football team, whom she was seeing at the time. The guy she dumped him for was the coach.Blanche: "Carl, I'm dumping you for Coach Wilkins."
- Misplaced Retribution: Blanche realizes that David is just as much an innocent victim of the situation as she is and that she was taking her anger on George out on the wrong person.
- No Challenge Equals No Satisfaction: A major reason Sophia enlists Dorothy's participation in the mother-daughter pageant is to defeat a rival of hers. They DO accomplish it in the end, but Sophia claims that "it was a hollow victory" because the ravages of time has caused said rival to become too forgetful in her old age to retain the competitive edge and, therefore, satisfaction when she is finally one-upped.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Consider the frequency of Rose and Charlie having sex (seven to midnight, five to seven AM, and until noon on Sundays), the length of time Charlie was in Cuckold after what he did with a farmer's daughter, as Rose confides to Blanche, can count.Rose: I was so mad, I refused to serve strudel for a year.Blanche: That's not so bad.Blanche: Wow. You were mad.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Sophia and Dorothy trying to look like Sonny & Cher doesn't garner the kind of recognition from Rose and Blanche that they hoped for.
- First, Rose sees Sophia dressed as Sonny:Sophia: Well, Rose, do I look like the mayor of Palm Springs?Rose: Doug Henning
is the mayor of Palm Springs?Sophia: *rolls her eyes* Just play the music, Rose. - Then Blanche sees Sophia and Dorothy dressing as Sonny and Cher:Blanche: Oh, for goodness sake! I thought you two could be celebrity look-alikes.Dorothy: Oh, Blanche, do you really think so?Blanche: Well, absolutely. So which one's Cheech and which one's Chong?Sophia: I'm Sonny Bono, you idiot!Dorothy: Gee, I wonder how many maître d's have heard that line?
- First, Rose sees Sophia dressed as Sonny:
- Rebuilt Pedestal: Blanche comes to have reestablished faith in George after the events of the episode. An exchange near the end makes an explicit example of this.Rose: You're gonna have to find a way to forgive George.Blanche: I will forgive him. It'll just take a little time.
- Seduction-Proof Marriage: Blanche thought her marriage was without either of them succumbing to their own temptation, only for the arrival of George's illegitimate son to shatter such a belief of hers.
- Sexual Euphemism: For Rose and Charlie, their pet name for sex is "strudel", as Rose confides to Blanche.
- Shout-Out: To Sonny & Cher when Sophia and Dorothy don the clothing said duo wore during The '60s. Their duet of choice was "I Got You, Babe".
- Tempting Fate: When the young male visitor expresses difficulty stating what he wants to say, Blanche advises him to just say it quickly in one go. Unfortunately for her, his statement contains news that Blanche is NOT prepared to handle.
- Wham Line: The announcement from David, the visitor, about his status in relations to George serves this purpose to Blanche, who, until that moment, believed her relationship with George was a Seduction-Proof Marriage.David: George Devereaux, your husband, was my father.
