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Recap / Glee S 5 E 16 Tested

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Ladies and gentleman, a visual representation of the state of Glee at this point. Also, Kevin McHale, you poor bastard.
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Artie tests positive for an STD and is forced to tell all his sexual partners, as well as the girl he has a crush on. Blaine's personal insecurities lead to relationship problems between him and Kurt. When Mercedes reveals that she's still a virgin, Sam tries to prove that he's the perfect boyfriend in order to prepare her for her first time.

Next Time: Funny Girl's opening night, with Rachel's ego at its peak, and some welcome cameos... actually, one actual cameo and two psuedo-cameos from people still on the payroll. Because Glee. Face Palm.

Songs

  • "Addicted to Love" by Robert Palmer, performed by Artie.
  • "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner, performed by Mercedes.
  • "Love Is A Battlefield" by Pat Benatar, performed by Blaine and Kurt and fencing class
  • "Let's Wait A While" by Janet Jackson, performed by Mercedes, Artie, and Sam.
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Tropes

  • Angry Dance: Mixed with stage-combat class. It's actually quite effective.
  • Better Than Sex: Sam describes listening to Mercedes sing as this.
  • Big Eater: Blaine has discovered all the starch-and-fat-filled dishes in New York City. An unusual example of the trope, in that Blaine does gain a few pounds.
  • I'm a Man; I Can't Help It: Sam uses this as an excuse for being angry at Mercedes for not wanting to sleep with him yet.
  • Meat-O-Vision: A form wherein Artie sees everyone as disease particles.
  • Nature Abhors a Virgin: Mercedes doesn't cave to the pressure, however.
  • Really Gets Around: Artie.
  • Recycled Plot: Mercedes asking about Rachel's first time with Finn revisits "The First Time," in Season Three.
  • Relegated Mentor: Blaine feels insecure and like Kurt doesn't need him anymore.
  • Shirtless Scene: Kurt gets one, which is unusual. Lampshaded when Kurt explains he did everything he could not to take off his shirt in high school, and he feels better about himself after working out and eating better.
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  • Shout-Out: To American Beauty in Artie's "Bags On The Wind."
  • Slut-Shaming: Sam does this by naming the trope.
  • Stylistic Suck: Artie's student films are terrible.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Artie hasn't been using condoms. Because they remind him of a "tiny greasy banana wetsuit."
  • True Art Is Incomprehensible: Artie's film, which involved a close-up of Artie smearing his face with paint, then telling his narrator to have "twilight" in her voice. The descriptions of his film classmates' films are equally nonsensical. Averted when Blaine insists the movie they watch is "In color, in English, and made after 1989."
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Sam goes ballistic on Artie after he finds out the latter hasn't been using condoms, calling him out on how thoroughly stupid this is. So do Kurt and Blaine, but they're a bit gentler about it, since they figure getting chlamydia and having to tell his partners he has chlamydia is punishment enough.
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