Quotes / Fake Longevity

Anime and Manga

"These Treasure King games are marketed as having lots of items to collect, but they pad the playtime by giving the treasures really low drop rates. The item [Fafnir]'s after now has a one-in-4,096 drop rate... he's been fighting the same enemy over and over for forty hours now."

— Takiya, Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, Chapter 54

Music

If you're listening to this in the jukebox
You activated our trap card
You'll soon fall asleep
Preventing you from closing the game
And thus, the average time played rises
Excellent

— Marius Schneider singing to the tune of "Make Your Selection, Now" from Creepy Castle

Web Animation

"It's like the longest page turn ever. Imagine if you had to walk back and forth across your house three times before you could turn the page on the book you're reading."

— Egoraptor on The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Sequelitis

"It'll keep you occupied, but then, so will alphabetizing the contents of a tin of baked beans, and that's not a great deal of fun, either."

— Zero Punctuation, on Crash Bandicoot 4: It's About Time

Web Video

"Then you gotta rob the tax wagons, and I'll give ya a million bucks if you can figure out how ya do that: yup, you FIGHT GUY OF GISBORNE AGAIN!"

— The Spoony Experiment on Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves for NES

"One of the most challenging 3D platformers ever, with over 13.9 trillion bananas to collect. But some sick fuck degenerate decided to color-code each and every banana to a specific character. That's taking it too far... This game was made by monkeys."

— Dunkey on Donkey Kong 64, "Remakes and Remasters"

"As I said in my Ocarina of Time review, I've completed every Zelda game to date; but to be honest, when I was told to go back to all three areas again, and then I had to deal with the horror of collecting 'Tadtones', I considered giving up."

— Matthewmatosis on The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

"Because I'm sure that when he was making this game, he thought that this spinning wheel contraption mechanic was just the most brilliant thing he could ever come up with, and the world just couldn't get enough of it."

— Markiplier plays Bleached Eyeballs

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