History Quotes / FakeLongevity

!!{{Music}}

-->-- '''Marius Schneider''' singing to the tune of "Make Your Selection, Now" from ''[[VideoGame/CreepyCastle Creepy Castle]]''

!!WebAnimation
->"It's like the longest page turn ever. Imagine if you had to walk back and forth across your house three times before you could turn the page on the book you're reading"
-->--'''{{Creator/Egoraptor}}''' on ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime, Sequelitis''

->"It'll keep you occupied, but then, so will alphabetizing the contents of a tin of baked beans, and that's not a great deal of fun, either."
-->-- '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', on ''VideoGame/CrashBandicoot4ItsAboutTime''.

!!WebVideo
->"''Then'' you gotta rob the tax wagons, and I'll give ya a million bucks if you can figure out how ya do ''that'': yup, you FIGHT GUY OF GISBORNE ''[[RecurringBoss AGAIN!]]''"
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''''' on ''Film/RobinHoodPrinceOfThieves'' for [[UsefulNotes/NintendoEntertainmentSystem NES]]

->"One of the most challenging [=3D=] platformers ever, with over [[GottaCatchEmAll 13.9 trillion bananas to collect.]] But some ''sick fuck degenerate'' decided to color-code each and every banana to a specific character. That's taking it too far... This game was ''made'' by monkeys."

->"As I said in my ''[[Videogame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]'' review, I've completed every ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]]'' game to date; but to be honest, when I was told to go back to all three areas ''[[RemixedLevel again]]'', and then I had to deal with the horror of collecting '[[FishingMinigame Tadtones]]', I considered [[{{Ragequit}} giving up.]]"
-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qAjK7wd5QE Matthewmatosis]]''' on ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword''

->"Because I'm sure that when he was making this game, he thought that this spinning wheel contraption mechanic was just the most brilliant thing he could ever come up with, and the world just couldn't get enough of it."
-->--'''LetsPlay/{{Markiplier}}''' plays ''Bleached Eyeballs''

->"One of the most challenging [=3D=] platformers ever, with over [[GottaCatchEmAll 13.9 trillion bananas to collect.]] But some ''sick fuck degenerate'' decided to color-code each and every banana to a specific character. That's taking it too far... This game was '''made''' by monkeys."

->'''Arin''': Shut up, I don't care, nobody likes you! You took fun and you made it ''un''-fun; how'd you even do that?! ''Maybe I should go ''{{dows|ingDevice}}e'' for a better game, huh??''\\
'''Wiimote''': Hey, man, that's low.\\
'''Arin''': So's my interest in playing you again OHH, SHIT! BURN! BURN!
-->-- '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''' on ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword'', ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''

-->-- '''Marius''' singing to the tune of "Make Your Selection, Now" from ''[[VideoGame/CreepyCastle Creepy Castle]]''

->"''Then'' you gotta rob the tax wagons, and I'll give ya a million bucks if you can figure out how ya do ''that'': yup, you FIGHT GUY OF GISBORNE ''[[RecurringBoss AGAIN!]]''"
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''''' on ''Film/RobinHoodPrinceOfThieves'' for [[UsefulNotes/NintendoEntertainmentSystem NES]]

->"As I said in my ''[[Videogame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]'' review, I've completed every ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]]'' game to date; but to be honest, when I was told to go back to all three areas ''[[RemixedLevel again]]'', and then I had to deal with the horror of collecting '[[FishingMinigame Tadtones]]', I considered [[{{Ragequit}} giving up.]]"
-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qAjK7wd5QE Matthewmatosis]]''' on ''VideoGame/TheLegendOfZeldaSkywardSword''

->"Because I'm sure that when he was making this game, he thought that this spinning wheel contraption mechanic was just the most brilliant thing he could ever come up with, and the world just couldn't get enough of it."
-->--'''LetsPlay/{{Markiplier}}''' plays ''Bleached Eyeballs''

->"These kind of things are meant to elongate the game. They are made to manipulate you into thinking that you are achieving something more than you are actually achieving."
-->-- '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''' on modern ''{{Franchise/Castlevania}}'', ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''

->"As I said in my ''[[Videogame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]'' review, I've completed every ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]]'' game to date; but to be honest, when I was told to go back to all three areas ''[[RemixedLevel again]]'', and then I had to deal with the horror of collecting '[[FushingMinigame Tadtones]]', I considered [[{{Ragequit}} giving up.]]"

->"As I said in my ''[[Videogame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina of Time]]'' review, I've completed every ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]]'' game to date; but to be honest, when I was told to go back to all three areas ''again'', and then I had to deal with the horror of collecting 'Tadtones', I considered [[{{Ragequit}} giving up.]]"

->"As I said in my ''[[Videogame/TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Ocarina if Time]]'' review, I've completed every ''[[Franchise/TheLegendOfZelda Zelda]]'' game to date; but to be honest, when I was told to go back to all three areas ''again'', and then I had to deal with the horror of collecting 'Tadtones', I considered [[{{Ragequit}} giving up.]]"

-->-- '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''' on modern ''{{Franchise/Castlevania}}';', ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''

->"''Then'' you gotta rob the tax wagons, and I'll give ya a million bucks if you can figure out how you do ''that'': yup, you FIGHT GUY OF GISBORNE ''[[RecurringBoss AGAIN!]]''"

->"''Then'' you gotta rob the tax wagons, and I'll give ya a million bucks if you can figure out how you do that: yup, you FIGHT GUY OF GISBORNE ''[[RecurringBoss AGAIN!]]''"

->"''Then'' you gotta robthe tax wagons, and I'll give ya a million bucks if you can figure out how you do that: Yup, you FIGHT GUY OF GISBORNE ''[[RecurringBoss AGAIN!]]''"
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''''' on ''Film/RobinHoodPrinceOfThieves for [[UsefulNotes/NintendoEntertainmentSystem NES]]

You activated our trap card

->''Hearts that you collected from enemies, instead of being [[VideoGame/CastlevaniaI the ammo for your alt weapon]]... are [[VideoGame/CastlevaniaIISimonsQuest money to buy upgrades and other necessary objects]] for completing the game. So instantly this becomes farming, and instantly this becomes pointless and dumb. These kind of things are meant to elongate the game. They are made to manipulate you into thinking that you are achieving something more than you are actually achieving.''
-->-- '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''', ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''

->''If you're listening to this in the\\
jukebox, you activated our trap\\
card. You'll soon fall asleep,\\
preventing you from closing the\\
game. And thus, the average\\
time played rises. Excellent...''
-->-- '''Marius''', invoking this trope [[PlayedForLaughs for laughs]] as he comment on the song '''Make Your Selection, Now''' from the game [[VideoGame/CreepyCastle Creepy Castle]].

->"[[SarcasmMode Good I was hoping that I'd have another room that I could go back and forward on]], ''forever''! Because, I'm sure that when he was making this game he thought that this [[ScrappyMechanic spinning wheel contraption mechanic]] was just the most brilliant thing he could ever come up with, and ''the world just couldn't get enough of it''."

->''You can reach the final boss inside of, like, four hours. You want your money's worth, you have to repeat every single level over and over again, to break all the boxes, to find the hidden gems, to beat them without dying, etc., then do all of that again in the "N. Verted" mode, which appears to be exactly the same level, [[ArtShift just with a weird graphics filter over it]]. It'll keep you occupied, but then, so will alphabetizing the contents of a tin of baked beans, and that's not a great deal of fun, either''.
-->-- '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', on ''VideoGame/CrashBandicoot4ItsAboutTime''.

-->--'''LetsPlay/{{Markiplier}}''' plays ''Bleached Eyeballs''

-->-- '''Marius''', invoking this trope [[PlayedForLaughs for laughs]] as he comment on the song '''Make Your Selection, Now''' from the game [[VideoGame/CreepyCastle Creepy Castle]].

-->-- '''Marius''', invoking this trope [[PlayedForLaughs for laughs]] as he comment on the song '''Make Your Selection, Now''' from the game [[VideoGame/CreepyCastle]].

-->-- '''Marius''', invoking this trope [[PlayedForLaughs for laughs]] as he comment on the song '''Make Your Selection, Now'''.

card. [[FakeLongevity You'll soon fall asleep,\\

time played rises]]. Excellent...''

-->-- '''Creator/{{Egoraptor}}''', ''WebVideo/{{Sequelitis}}''

->''Hearts that you collected from enemies, instead of being [[VideoGame/{{Castlevania}} the ammo for your alt weapon]]... are [[VideoGame/CastlevaniaIISimonsQuest money to buy upgrades and other necessary objects]] for completing the game. So instantly this becomes farming, and instantly this becomes pointless and dumb. These kind of things are meant to elongate the game. They are made to manipulate you into thinking that you are achieving something more than you are actually achieving.''