Gossip Times Three by Amy Goldman Koss is a book about...
Let's just say it might as well be called Tween Drama Tropes Discussed
The book begins with the narrator deciding what to call the main characters since she can't use their real names because they'll never speak to her again. She decides on Abby (Because she was the first one to fall in love with Zack), Bess and Christy.
Abby is love with Zack, one day Bess calls him cute, this gives Abby stomachaches of paranoia, Bess begins to date Zack, Christy still doesn't get the boy girl thing, and it begins.
This book provides examples of:
- Alliterative Name: The girls consider calling themselves the Dashing Daughters of Divorce, but then reconsider since it sounds Dreadfully Dull.
- Adorkable: Christy.
- Alphabetical Theme Naming: Every tween in the story is named from A to F aside from Zack.
- An Aesop: Discussed, Averted, Played with then played straight.
- Anti-Climax: Chapter four, where Bess and Zack break up, is one paragraph long.
- The actual ending.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: There is No Fourth Wall.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Gilda, Our narrator.
- At one point she decides to change Sheila and Kim's names to Beila and Fim, though the new names are used in the future the old ones aren't erased.
- Cool Big Sis: Gilda.
- Cool Pet: Wheezy, Abby's dog.
- Creator Cameo: Via flashback with the Narrator.
- Fan-Preferred Couple: In-universe we have an Abby preferred couple. When Abby believes that Fred and Emma are going to be blown apart by Hurricane Bess even though Emma doesn't really care about Fred.
- Foreshadowing: Discussed.
- Getting Crap Past the Radar: The type of medicine that no heating pad or chalky medicine can fix.
- Christy thinks her friends will turn on her because she has smaller breasts.
- Girl Posse: Abby, Bess and Christy. With Dawn and Emma as backup.
- Guilty Pleasure: For Christy it's soccer and cafeteria food among her friends.
- Happily Married: Discussed and played straight by Christy's dad.
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Implied with Abby's mom and Steve, since Steve is very, very tall.
- Lampshade Hanging: On Lampshade Hanging itself. And many other things.
- Meaningful Name: The books title, THREE is capitalised wherever it is. Most things are done in threes.
- Everybody is named in alphabetical order apart from the adults: Abby, Bess, Christy, Dawn, Emma, Fred, Gilda and Zack.
- Abby>Bess>Christy is also the order in which the girls date Zack (Though only the last sticks).
- Oddly Named Sequel 2: Electric Boogaloo: The narrator considers doing this, but decides against it. (Actually, her creative writing teacher discourages her.)
- Peer Pressure Makes You Evil: Christy has a lot of things she'd love to do, but she can't do them because of Bess and Abby.
- Plot Twist: The narrator promises THREE plot twists in THIRTEEN chapters.
- Single-Target Sexuality: Abby and Zack until after Bess dumps Zack.
- They Wasted a Perfectly Good Plot: On purpose in-universe. The narrator likes to tease us about the Max/Bess disaster and the Fred/His Mom/Dr.Y debacle, but the book ends without any explanation. That's why she calls him Dr. Y in the first place.
- Totally Radical: For Reals!, only used once by Christy.
- Unreliable Narrator: Complete with a fake ending where Bess and Gilda die.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: Lindy with love. Every time is completely different and she knows this one is.