Funny / Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

• From "Queen's Gambit":
  John: I call shotgun.
  Cameron: I call 9mm.
• From the pilot episode:
  (John walks towards the vault door)
  Cameron: "Get away from the door"
  John: "Why?"
  (Cromartie punches the vault door)
  Cameron: "That's why."
• This hilarious exchange in "Vick's Chip":
  John: Well, I guess when they say "you can't fight city hall" they really mean it.
  Derek: Whoever said that didn't have as much plastique as we do.
• In "What He Beheld," we have this exchange:
  Derek: Remind me again, why are the boys out here and the girls in there?
  John: Because one of the girls is harder than nuclear nails.
  Derek: And the other one's a cyborg.
• There's also Cameron's Sarcastic Confession when Morris asks whether a nice looking sports car is hers.
  Cameron: No. It belongs to the guy I killed and stuffed in the trunk.
  Morris (to John): Your sister is dark, man.
  • Even funnier, Cameron probably did not mean to be sarcastic.
• In "Automatic for the People," Cameron gets to play pool hustler by using her computer-aided targeting systems to swindle a bunch of employees out of their money. One moment they're having a good laugh to themselves at how she's totally going to lose, and then she sinks five balls on her first shot. The next time we see her she's counting a stack of bills.
  • Not to mention that since she's dressed in a short skirt and revealing top, they're completely preoccupied hitting on her right up until she puts the balls in her pockets.
• In "Goodbye to All That," Cameron stops Martin Bedell (a ten year old kid) from using the phone via a Neck Lift, only to be admonished by Sarah for scaring the poor boy.
  Cameron: If you call home, he'll find you. He'll kill your parents. He'll kill you.
  Sarah: Cameron!
  Cameron: (still holding him in the air) Would you like a bedtime story?
• In "Adam Raised A Cain," Cameron discovers Ellison lied to her, and somehow manages to sound both completely emotionless and like a petulant child at the same time.
  Cameron: I should have killed him. I'm going to kill him.
  Sarah: You're not going to kill him.
  Cameron: He can't be trusted.
  Sarah: No one be trusted.
  Cameron: But I only want to kill him.
• Episode 2. Cameron gets run over by a car. She tries to reassure the family in the car. "Please remain calm." While her face is buried in their windshield.
  • In the same episode, the chola putting heavy makeup on Cameron. The studied way they interact without saying a word is pure comedy.
• Sarah to Cameron on her first day of school.
  "Don't you kiss me... or anyone else!" Cameron reacts all, "Like I would, and who are you to dictate to me anyway?"
  • Several scenes in "The Turk" are pretty funny, including Cameron putting on eyeliner and John telling her it's not brain surgery ("No, it would have to be sharper for that.") And Cameron setting off the metal detector at school.
• In "Heavy Metal," Sarah and Cameron have captured a human employee of a Terminator and are interrogating him. Sarah tries beating information out of him, but the man is unfazed. So Sarah takes a knife, cuts the man free, and stabs the knife into a nearby table, then tells the man he's free to go...if he can get past Cameron. He gets up, glances to the knife, and then to Cameron, looking fairly confident. Next scene, he's driving down the road, gripping the wheel with white knuckles, looking absolutely terrified, and Cameron is sitting beside him with a little smile on her face, managing to convey exactly what happened without speaking a word.
• After Cameron accidentally crushes a bird thanks to her malfunctioning arm, she watches another one fly away: "Goodbye, bird. There was a 51% chance I wasn't going to kill you."
  • "That's a window, bird."
• Cromartie gives an obnoxious girl a lift because she says she also hates Cameron. Eventually, Cromartie can't take her non-stop rambling and shoves her out of the car.
  • Well, that was the girl that Cameron had nearly choked earlier. And she did ask to be let out...
• Weaver and John Henry both saying "We'll see" in "Born To Run".
  • Later in "Born to Run." It's the last few minutes of the series finale. Weaver calmly asks Ellison if he's coming with them to the future.. When he refuses, she says "Would you pick up Savannah, then? Gymnastics ends at 5:30."
• Cameron searching Ellison's yard in the middle of the night for Cromartie's body ("Go back to sleep!")
• This gun-shop exchange in "Born to Run:"
  Gun shop owner: (hands phone number to a T-888) Ask to speak to Manny.
  T-888: I want to speak to Manny.
  Gun shop owner: Call the number first, then ask.
• When Cromartie, posing as an FBI agent, is asked by John & Cameron's school Principal to prove he's been sent by the Federal Government, he kills the Principal, thanking him in an oddly bright voice "Thank you for your cooperation".
  • And before that:
    Principal: You boys are in here at least twice a month waving your Patriot Act around. Let me guess - drugs? Look me in the eye and tell me you've never smoked a little marijuana.
    Cromartie: [leans down and looks him in the eye] I've never smoked a little marijuana.
• In "Self-Made Man", the librarian wonders at the pure silver nitrate films saying they are pure humanity on film without special effects wizardry ("computer generated digital crap" is the exact words he used). Cameron then looks down in shame...
  • Earlier in the episode, Cameron "imagines" a terminator, dressed in 1920s' gangster garb, robbing a bank, wielding a one-handed tommy gun and carrying a sack of money. It's an absolutely hilarious image (until you find out that's what actually happened, anyway...)
  • Same episode, Sarah tells Cameron to make herself useful and hands her a basket of laundry. John snarks that her mother is making the most efficient killing machine ever created do chores, prompting her to make him do it. After Sarah walks out John hands the basket back to Cameron, who shoots him a dirty look saying, "Okay, I know I'm being hosed."
• Cameron flipping Ellison over after she had just finished beating him up in "Complications".
• "The eyes are the windows to the soul, Mr. Ellison. Your eyes look tired. Is your soul tired?"
• From "Alpine Fields"
  Anne: Why would you keep a gun in the house?
  David: For situations like this. Or a bear.
  Cameron: This wouldn't work in a situation like this.
  Anne: Why didn't you tell me?
  Cameron: Or a bear.
• Cameron and another Terminator having to stop in the middle of a vicious fight in an elevator as people are using it. Then resetting their limbs and covering over the scars.
  • Look carefully and you'll see Summer Glau was holding back a smile.
  • There's also something grimly hilarious about her folding up the other Terminator into a cube. One wonders how she got that back home without anyone noticing.
• In the pilot episode, after Cameron finishes extracting bullets from her torso while topless, she sits there nonchalantly for a moment, before Sarah tells her to "put those back in the holster". The hilarity comes from her brief bit of puzzlement, followed by Cameron going "Oh." and putting her shirt back on.
• The Mousetrap has Cameron loading heavy computer equipment. When John tells her that she does need help she realizes that people are watching her and she sort of turns in on herself for not thinking of the possibility that what she was doing looked odd.
  • And after John tricks her and runs off to see Riley, and Cameron spends the episode stalking them she burns him. After Cromartie tries to drown John he escapes and asks Cameron for help, who replies she doesn't swim. Not can't (likely she would sink to the ocean floor,) she retorts that she doesn't.
• John Henry's insistence on only rolling natural twenties when playing Dungeons & Dragons. That poor Umber Hulk never stood a chance.
• When the Connors are robbed is Cameron most concerned about the money? Jewelery? Fake ID? No, her leather jacket. She keeps asking about it when interrogating suspects and makes the crook who took it give it back at gunpoint. Uh, Skewed Priorities much?
• The entirety of the "scary robot" exchange with Charlie.
• In "Samson and Delilah," after Cameron tracks down John and Sarah in the church. They wire up and shock her, then try to remove her chip while she's down, bickering the whole time.
  John: The knife's not sharp enough! *saws at Cameron's head*
  Sarah: Press harder!
• It's rare that Sarah displays any humour. The "Slug Bug" game, and John's puzzled, annoyed reaction is priceless.
  Don't teach Cameron about slug bug. She could do some real damage.
• John Henry talking about Heaven.
  It's possible Heaven has a hardware problem.
• TSCC has a Gag Reel. The best is the HK crashing only partway through the window and catching something on fire.
• During "The Good Wound" John Henry plays with BIONICLE figures with great fascination. He discusses with Ellison how ball joints are superior to hinge joints in regards to the structure of the human body. At the end of the scene we get this exchange:
  John Henry: I have a question for God.
  Ellison: What do you want to ask God?
  John Henry:I wish to know why he did not use more ball and socket joints when he made you.

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