Death made Susan a swing. He tied a rope to the strongest tree branch: he tied a second rope to the second strongest tree branch. Since the tree branches were on opposite sides of the tree, the seat of the swing couldn't work because the trunk of the tree was in the way. So he removed the trunk, leaving the upper portion essentially hovering in the air. "It hadn't died. It was still quite healthy".
Seems perfectly logical to me.
FIVE THOUSAND D—mmfmmf
"If this kept up, in several billion years he'd be richer than his wildest dreams!"
Also the exchange between Colon and Nobby after Death passes by on a flaming motorcycle with a rose clenched in his teeth.
Colon: Would you recognise him if you saw him again? Nobby: If I didn't, it would have to be one hell of an identity parade!
Really, bony knees?
Ridcully's scenes with the senior faculty and their falling into the Music with Rocks in trends are hilarious, especially his exchanges with the Dean.
Ridcully: Dean, what have you done to your hair? It looks like a spike at the front and a duck's arse, excuse my Klatchian, at the back. And it's all shiny.
Runes: Lard. That'd be the bacon smell.
Ridcully: That's true. But what about the floral smell?
Ridcully: Pardon, Dean?
Dean: I said it's because I added lavender oil. And some of us happen to think it's a very nifty hairstyle, thank you so very much. Your trouble. Archchancellor, is that you don't understand people of our age!
Ridcully: What... you mean seven months older than me?
And later in the book:
Dean: You always try and stop me doing anything I want!
Ridcully: There's no need to take that tone with me—
Dean: Huh, you never listen to anything I say and I don't see why I shouldn't wear what I like!
Ridcully: This room is a total mess! Tidy it up right now!
Ridcully: Then it's no more Music With Rocks In for you, young man!
The numerous failures of one of the Band's would-be imitators, most especially when one of them is assigned to get leopard skin trousers... and instead brings back a leopard. A deaf leopard.
Death strode away, stopped, and came back. He pointed a skeletal finger at The Duck Man.
Death:Why are you walking around with that duck?
Duck Man: What duck?
Our first look at the Death of Rats being a little troublemaker.
The ending: "There's a new guy working down at the chip shop and I could swear he's elvish."
The band is traveling on tour, discussing the possibility of being robbed on the road. When one asks when was the last time anyone even got robbed like that rhetorically, a voice from a nearby bush starts to answer before the band flees.
Getting worried about Imp/Buddy, Glod and Cliff decide to go back to the shop where they got the guitar, only to find it's apparently vanished. Glod goes into a rant about how he was right about the shop, only for Cliff to point out that it was actually on the other side of the street. Then, before they go, Cliff tells the owner how Glod thought her shop was The Little Shop That Wasn't There Yesterday. They leave... and the shop owner pulls a lever, saying "Forget my own head next," and the shop switches places to the other side of the street.
The climax of Mort, where Mort causes Death to laugh in impressment, is retconned into Death doing a slow Double Take at Susan, realizing that Mort and Ysabell get married, and finding this absolutely hilarious.
Once, many years ago, before dwarfs were common in Anhk-Morpork, and before Vetinari was Patrician, the Ankh suffered a plague of rats. Bounties were offered of two pence per rat tail, yet mysteriously despite how drained the city's coffers got, the rat level remained steady. Then Vetinari spoke up, demonstrating that unique grasp of Anhk-Morpork's attitude to everything: "Tax the rat farms."
Colon and Nobby prove immune to Death's Weirdness Censor. Because the Night Watch sees far weirder things on a regular basis. But they're a bit uncertain about his first name.
In the animated film of Soul Music, the funniest line is, amazingly, not from the book. Imp offends the locals in a town that's known for its cheeses by declaring, in just the right kind of accent, that:
"We're more popular than cheeses."
Glod's final lament: "Trust my luck to die — just as I get rich!"
The Musicians' Guild enforcers using Senseless Violins. Because guns haven't been invented and they pull a club and a rock out of the instrument cases.
Something about Death shooting over the cliff and crashing into the rocks on his motorcycle whilst (in the voice of Christopher Lee) yelling "Oh bugger!"
The look of pure fury on Ridcully's face when the Dean asks for permission to paint his headroom black. It all but screams "I'm killing you next."