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Funny / Discworld

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The Discworld series is a 41-book series full of awesome, hilarious, and heartwarming. Here are the funni(er) bits.

Now in convenient folders divided by book, so you don't have to read the entire series to read this page and not be spoiled! Please keep examples in the folder belonging to the relevant book.

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Main Discworld novels

Illustrated novels

Young adult novels

Short stories

  • In the short story "Theatre of Cruelty," Carrot is investigating a death to which there were no apparent witnesses. So in search of a lead, he goes and waits with an elderly man until You Know Who shows up, goes, "Now I know you saw something, sir. You were there," and then tricks him into helping the police with their enquiries.
    Carrot: You see, sir, as I understand the law, you are an Accessory After the Fact. Or possibly Before the Fact.
    Death: Young man, I am the fact.
    • And Death, for obvious reasons, doesn't want to give up what he knows. Even He doesn't want a reputation for being a snitch.
  • The Sea and Little Fishes
    • Something about the way Pratchett describes a villager's Pose of Supplication is absolutely hilarious.
    The man next to Poorchick took off his hat quickly and held it respectfully in front of him in the ay-señor-the-bandidos-have-raided-our-villages position.
    • This exchange over Granny Weatherwax's jam:
    Miss Gammer: We couldn't get the spoon out.
    Nanny Ogg Oh, I'm sure -
    Miss Gammer: We only got it in with a hammer.
  • In "Troll Bridge", Cohen the Barbarian's frustration at having bought a talking horse at the auction of a deceased wizard's belongings.

Video Games


    Characters who are mentioned but never appear 

  • Anything involving Bloody Stupid Johnson, or the remarkable lateral thinking of Ankh-Morpork citizens.
    • The "Improved Manicure Device", now used for peeling potatoes at Unseen University. The Discworld wiki suggests using it for its intended purpose will ensure you never need a manicure again.
    • "Retrophrenology": if the bumps in your head indicate your personality traits, then changing them will affect your character. In practice, this just means getting thumped with a variety of differently-sized hammers, but it provides work and it keeps the money circulating, and that's the important thing.
    • Archchancellor Ridcully, in Hogfather, taking a shower in a bathroom designed by Johnson. He made the mistake of pressing the tap marked "Old Faithful," and had a bit of trouble walking for a while afterwards.
      "Ye gods, I've never felt so clean."
    • The landscaping Bloody Stupid did for the palace garden, which included a 150 yard by 1 inch trout lake (home to one thin trout, who presumably would be periodically turned around by the gardeners). The perimeter is presumably denoted, not by a hoho, but by a 50 feet deep haha. It's claimed three palace gardener's lives, and once trapped the Head of the Assassin's Guild.

  • The short film "Run Rincewind Run!", addressed from Discworld's fans to Terry Pratchett. It premiered at the first Australia Discworld Convention.
    • It starts with Rincewind running from something when he runs into soldiers, who chase after him.
    • Upon encountering the Queen of the Amazons and her daughter, the soldiers claim they aren't soldiers but lumberjacks with sword-shaped axes and up until now hadn't found any trees, to Rincewind's shock and argument.
    • After tricking the Amazons into telling him the incantation to send the victim to meet their maker, Rincewind grabs the wand from the Queen but fails to turn it around. So when he uses it, it teleports him away.
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    • After Rincewind vanishes, the soldiers ask to stay with the Amazons, which they agree to because they have some shelves to set up and could use the help.
    • Where does Rincewind land? Australia. The Background Music "Down Under" begins to play as Rincewind starts running once more scared of all the different things in this world.
    • His running ends up getting him into the very convention the film is playing at, resulting in him running into the crowded room, screaming at the people, pausing to drink water, and screaming again.
    • Then Rincewind notices a Discworld novel on a table with his face on it. He picks it up and realizes this is a story of his life. He then notices the book's author's name and there is a picture of Sir Terry in the book. He scans the audience looking for the man, as Sir Terry points to the man next to him saying that's the guy. When Rincewind puts Sir Terry's hat on him, he glares for a moment before saying, "You . . . bastard."