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Funny / Discworld

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The Discworld series is a 41-book series full of awesome, hilarious, and heartwarming. Here are the funni(er) bits.

Now in convenient folders divided by book, so you don't have to read the entire series to read this page and not be spoiled! Please keep examples in the folder belonging to the relevant book.

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Main Discworld novels

Illustrated novels

Young adult novels

Short stories

  • In the short story "Theatre of Cruelty," Carrot is investigating a death to which there were no apparent witnesses. So in search of a lead, he goes and waits with an elderly man until You Know Who shows up, goes, "Now I know you saw something, sir. You were there," and then tricks him into helping the police with their enquiries.
    Carrot: You see, sir, as I understand the law, you are an Accessory After the Fact. Or possibly Before the Fact.
    Death: Young man, I am the fact.
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  • In "The Sea and Little Fishes", something about the way Pratchett describes a villager's Pose of Supplication is absolutely hilarious.
    The man next to Poorchick took off his hat quickly and held it respectfully in front of him in the ay-señor-the-bandidos-have-raided-our-villages position.
  • In "Troll Bridge", Cohen the Barbarian's frustration at having bought a talking horse at the auction of a deceased wizard's belongings.

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    Characters who are mentioned but never appear 

  • Anything involving Bloody Stupid Johnson, or the remarkable lateral thinking of Ankh-Morpork citizens.
    • The "Improved Manicure Device", now used for peeling potatoes at Unseen University. The Discworld wiki suggests using it for its intended purpose will ensure you never need a manicure again.
    • "Retrophrenology": if the bumps in your head indicate your personality traits, then changing them will affect your character. In practice, this just means getting thumped with a variety of differently-sized hammers, but it provides work and it keeps the money circulating, and that's the important thing.
    • Archchancellor Ridcully, in Hogfather, taking a shower in a bathroom designed by Johnson. He made the mistake of pressing the tap marked "Old Faithful," and had a bit of trouble walking for a while afterwards.
      "Ye gods, I've never felt so clean."
    • The landscaping Bloody Stupid did for the palace garden, which included a 150 yard by 1 inch trout lake (home to one thin trout, who presumably would be periodically turned around by the gardeners). The perimeter is presumably denoted by a hoho, i.e. a 50 feet deep haha. It's claimed three palace gardener's lives, and once trapped the Head of the Assassin's Guild.

  • The short film "Run Rincewind Run!", addressed from Discworld's fans to Terry Pratchett.


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