- Jack Boyle, Erin's ex, wonders why she still has her married name on her office door. Erin says it's the same reason people who've lost weight keep a before picture. Burn.
- In "Officer Down," when Jamie's on patrol with Sergeant Renzulli, they have to deal with a woman on the sidewalk telling passersby through a bullhorn that her husband is a pig and actually having a giant inflatable pig (named Penelope no less). They pop it with a pin. Later on, they're called back, and this time she's got a sign and a gigantic live hog. The cops' reactions are equal parts amusement and sheer WTF.
- Jamie is working undercover at a Mafia-run business, and smuggled out a flash drive with files that could implicate them in criminal activity by swallowing it when some thugs rough him up looking for it. He's still black and blue when he sits down for Sunday dinner with the family. After a few minutes the rest of the adults start listing the various times Jamie swallowed things when he was a kid.
- From "After Hours," when everyone's opening fortune cookies:Nicky: [reading from a fortune cookie] "A mysterious stranger is on his way."Erin: No, he's not.Nicky: Yes, he is.Frank: Your grandpa has 36,000 armed men at his disposal, he's not.
- Henry Reagan, the fine, upstanding retired patriarch of the Reagan family, juicing a downhill derby car for not one, not two, not three, but four of his family's generations... all because he got grounded when he was seven. The only thing that tops this is Frank and Jamie sneaking in to the garage at night to, in Frank's words, "level the playing field." What really sells all this is how the entire thing is played just as seriously as every other subplot ever.
- In the episode where Jamie shoots a guy with a gun pulled (and later turns out to have been looking for Suicide by Cop), a particularly obnoxious reporter taunts Frank about why Jamie didn't try a non-lethal alternative. Frank responds by asking the reporter what he would do if he were in just such a Mexican Standoff:Reporter: (Rolls eyes with a smirk) Well, first of all—Frank: Too late, you're dead.
- And then Garrett, being Garrett, immediately reassures the press that Frank is only speaking hypothetically.
- The entire "drag queen" episode is hilariously awkward from start to finish, especially the gags involving man's-man Danny being a fan of the reality show in question....
- Made even funnier when you consider that Donnie Wahlberg directed the episode.
- Special mention goes to the scene when the drag queen who is Danny's informant comes in dressed as the typical Femme Fatale from old noir films. Danny is taken aback for a moment, but humors her, even getting into character as the tough-as-nails private eye. By the end of the episode, he's fully into the spirit of things, dressing up in a nice suit, hat, and cane in order to fool the perp into confessing.
- In "All the News That's Fit to Click", Danny and Maria have identified the person they suspect shot a reporter dressed in an NYPD windbreaker. To lure the guy to somewhere where they can arrest him, Danny calls him and spins an incredibly bogus story on the fly:Danny Reagan: Yes, hello, Michael Hicks? Congratulations! My name is Richard Mollo. I work with the New York Mets, and you, sir, have won a wonderful prize of a luxury suite to any New York Mets home game of your choice for this season. No, congratulations! Okay, all you got to do is meet me between 8:00 and 9:00 p.m. tonight at the box office at Citi Field and you can collect your prize. Yes, ask for me— Richard Mollo. I'll see you then. [hangs up] Throw the pitch, make the catch.
- The best part is that it works, and it's Truth in Television: it's not uncommon for police to lure wanted crooks to arrest spots by pretending to offer them free stuff like contest winnings. Since career criminals are greedy and none too bright to think it could be a trap, they usually fall for it.
- "All the News That's Fit to Click" is also one of the rare occasions since Gormley's promotion to 1PP that he interacts with Danny and Baez, who still haven't grown out of addressing him as "Sergeant," which results in him correcting them under his breath.
- In "Inside Jobs" (3x13), Danny, his temporary partner Candice, and a paramedic indulge in a little Black Comedy after a rat is found in a victim's pants; to the disgust of a witness.Danny: Uh, the deceased here, did he have any identification on him?Paramedic: No...Danny: Any last words?Paramedic: Oh, man...Danny: Just saying.Bystander: You people are terrible...
- Danny then poses with the dead rat. "Say Cheese!"
- When Frank meets with the new District Attorney on a talk show, he gets into a heated argument. Then it cuts to Nicky watching this unfold.Nicky: Moooom! Grandpa's on TV arguing with your new boss!
- Jamie and Eddie handle security on a TV cop show shooting a scene. The actresses playing the cops ask them for how a situation would be handled in real life and the showrunner and "police consultant" are outraged at how the actresses want to change the scene to reflect that.
- Any time Danny and Anthony have to work together on a case. Both men are highly competent, albeit jaded, detectives, and cant stand eachother (Danny considers Anthony a sellout for taking a job with the DAs office, while Anthony considers Danny an arrogant assholenot without good reason). Put Erin in the room, and watch both detectives agree with eachother with rabid vitriol.
- The season 9 finale sees Garrett and Gormley take offense because Baker privately has presented a proposal to Frank on combating social media crimes and didn't bring them in the loop. Frank's way of forcing his three advisors to come to an agreement is to temporarily swap all of their jobs around: Garrett to Baker's position, Baker to Gormley's post, and Gormley to Garrett's post.
- From the same episode Danny is going over his evidence with Baez so far and as he prepares to go to Erin for a warrant he tells her to "pretend you're my sister". This leads to Baez doing a hilarious impersonation of Erin mimicking her mannerism and speech including dramatically putting on a non-existent pair of glasses.
Funny / Blue Bloods