Fridge / Homestuck Eldritch Abominations

• Doc Scratch seeks death after summoning Lord English and ending the universe, but he needs help. Why? Because, as his creation shows, he's an omniscient, omnipotent prankster. Comedy is easy. Dying is hard.
  • And the reason Scratch flipped out on Vriska? She was using, essentially, himself to fight himself. Then he blew himself up. Sort of.
• If you look closely at the page where Gamzee's revealed to be the most important character in Homestuck, he initially comes off as creepy. However, with recent events, it's revealed that Gamzee's good again. If you look again, you'll realize that it's Gamzee's normal expression, except covered in blood.
  • If Gamzee didn't raise Calliope/Caliborn even CAL wouldn't have existed, so he may essentially be the most important.
• Doc Scratch says, "I am an immortal entity with a large cue ball for a head, and no biological means of reproduction." That means Cal isn't anatomically correct.
  • What does it imply that you believed otherwise until you read that?
    • Remember Bro's other puppets?
• In Lord English's infamous Alt Text, his initials are the only letters that are solid black instead of flashing in several colors. Considering LE enters the trolls' universe right after Snowman is killed (and all the other Felt members have already been offed), it makes sense...
• So why did Doc Scratch prod Rose into checking the cue ball and going grimdark? Even after she recovered, she was surrounded by a blackout that kept the trolls and anyone else from reading her future or that of anyone near her. In other words, it prevented anyone from realizing what The Tumor actually does until it's long too late.
• Doc Scratch says here that he is a soldier in a war of one bullet fired. Which bullet? The bullet fired by Spades Slick at Snowman that kills her and destroys the Troll's universe, summoning Lord English.
• Lord English and all his affiliates are green, according to That Other Wiki a number of artists and poets associate that color with The Devil.
• I guess you could say English was *Glasses Pull* made from Scratch. YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! And then there's that possibility of him having a connection to Betty Crocker...
  • On that note, in pool, English means to put a spin on the cue ball. "Putting a spin on" means "give a new interpretation or meaning to".
  • So if Doc Scratch was hosting Lord English, you could say he was already here?
• tICK t0ck 8R8K H34DS honk HONK: It made no sense originally... however, it turns out to be foreshadowing Lord English's arrival.
  • The honk HONK voiced by Lord English and included in his code has spawned numerous Epileptic Trees about Gamzee being Lord English or being related to him. HOWEVER, if you think about it, the whole thread of the "honk HONK" theme can be traced back to Lord English. Doc Scratch is an agent of Lord English, and was responsible for guiding the development of troll society in this iteration of their universe. In now-familiar circular paradox space fashion, it could easily have been Doc Scratch who planted the seed of honk HONK in the first place, after which it grew into the rule of Subjugglators on Alternia, which led to Gamzee's madness, which led to his scrawling of the honk HONK code, which led to...
    • It seems it wasn't as much of epileptic trees to be related when he's later seen to father Caliborn and Calliope.
    • Lord English actually IS Caliborn, not his father. Their father is a completely unrelated cherub which has little mention in-story. Gamzee's madness was also due to Dave sending the video of the ICP, but he would not have been angry about it had subjuggulators not been portrayed as killers, rather than happy, miracle-loving juggalos.
    • Preeeetty sure the troper above you was talking about GAMZEE being a father to caliborn and calliope. As in he tried to raise them.
    • Cali is not a paradox clone, so Aranea wasn't just talking about Cherubs in general not being meant to play, but to Cali as an individual (or two individuals after a few minutes) as well. This would also explain why his birth was orchestrated with the Scratch, by creating a universe where a location was found and Cali's birth would not fail due to a lack of planets. It's not exactly easy to find one.
• Regarding Doc Scratch, here's a thought... the Green Sun was formed when the Troll's Universe was destroyed, thus everything inside it would be obliterated and non-existant. But then where are Doc Scratch, his clock, and part of his building surviving that the Doc's body could become Lord English? Simple. A POCKET Universe. The cueball-headed Doc was Scratched.
• Isn't it nice that all the characters we knew and loved are at least guaranteed a reasonably nice afterlife? And it's secure as long as the Horrorterrors are around to provide the bubbles. The same Horrorterrors who were last seen asking for rescue. You may panic now.
  • On the subject of the Horrorterrors needing rescue, Rose, Dave and the surviving trolls are on the trolls' meteor base in the Furthest Ring traveling at nearly light speed, with Jack Noir in pursuit. Jack's at it again.
  • Now we know precisely why they are asking for rescue... and that the afterlife is not so secure as we thought. AND HE IS ALREADY HERE.
• Lord English is finally revealed in Intermission 2. So guess who shows up when Act 6 Intermission 2 rolls around?
• How one can destroy Lord English? By exploiting bugs and glitches in the paradox space, which basically is the entire game. What has Caliborn done recently? He stuffed a bunch of candy corns in the cartrige. What happened then? The game started glitching severely. Caliborn is Lord English. He is basically killing himself just to show his superiority in spite of the narrator.
• Why did Hussie hide the cartridge in the Caps Lock capsule? Because Caliborn would never turn the caps lock off, at least not intentionally!
  • Except Caliborn isn't using Caps Lock; he's holding down the shift key, because Caps Lock is "A TRAINING KEY FOR RETARDS". It works anyway, because it never occurs to him to turn it on.
• The most recent updates described Caliborn's mission in his game session: he has to conquer fifteen planets, one after another, by knocking them into a black hole. It may be obvious to most people, but take a look at the planets and think about it. What is he, albeit on a cosmic scale, actually doing? He's playing pool.
• With the revelation that the server that summons Lord English is in fact the clock that controls his immortality, his summoning ritual finally makes sense. The honk HONK code infused Doc Scratch with a portion of Caliborn's DNA so when Scratch died it caused Caliborn's immortality clause to kick in and revived him where the DNA was!
• As of the act 5-6 Intermission, we learn that Doc Scratch really is an excellent host. Falls emphatically under Fridge Horror, as well.
• After his summoning, Lord English locks himself in a sarcophagus. He wears a Cairo Overcoat. A Chicago Overcoat is slang for a coffin. So a Cairo Overcoat would actually be an Egyptian coffin.
  • If you look closely, the sarcophagus is his Cairo Overcoat. It's a reference to the innocuous doubles of Problem Sleuth.
  • Not just that, it's a reference to Mobster Kingpin's (imaginary) vessel, the Chicago Overcoat. He eventually becomes Demonhead Mobster Kingpin. And what is Lord English? A demon.
• Considering the comic's theather-esque style (with acts, intermissions, etc.), it's quite fitting that Lord English breaks a leg shortly before his debut.
• Consider this quote from Doc Scratch for a second, "Each dark pocket, in time, will be filled." Depending on how this is pronounced, this could either be referring to how Scratch uses the kids/trolls to achieve his own agenda or a prophecy of the Scratch fixing everything up in the two sessions
  • Also there are 12 trolls + 4 kids = 16 (the number of pieces in a chess set). The prior may apply here.
    • The trolls and kids as one side of a chess board actually makes a lot of sense. You have two Heirs as the King and Queen, and Knights as the Knights, obviously. The Witches have been acting a lot like Rooks throughout, doing critical work on the sidelines we never really focus on (Jade corresponds with her penpal, Feferi makes dream bubbles). That leaves the Seers as the Bishops and everyone else as pawns.
    • The game started out as chess, then Jack took over and the rules started to bend closer to cards, eight players working as chess tokens may set the game right again. Probably 4 Derse dreamers and 4 Prospit dreamers, so Sollux really was doomed from the start.
    • It could also support my whole "Doc Scratch is the one who gives the commands" theory: he's the only one who really has the power to control the player but he can't be controlled himself.
    • Three possible readings of the quote: 1. Each dark pocket (in Doc Scratch's knowledge) will eventually be filled. 2. Each dark pocket in the flow of time (all the incomplete time loops) will be filled. or 3. Each dark pocket (of a pool table) will be filled (all billiards-themed characters will die).
    • Snowman must not die - because if the eight-ball is potted prematurely, both players lose!
    • Snowman dies in Cascade. In concurrence with this, the trolls' universe is destroyed.
    • If you remember from [S] Cascade (assuming you've seen it), Slick killed all the other members of the Felt, and then Snowman.
    • He didn't kill Clover.
    • Correct me if I'm wrong... but aren't there 16 balls on a pool table, as well? If you include the cue ball, that is. It probably means something.
    • Since doc scratch is pool themed, it's also a reference to the fact that in pool you fill the pockets on the table
• Caliborn states to Jake that his title is the Lord. If it wasn't already obvious, this appears to be more Foreshadowing to him becoming Lord English.
• Contrasting the Lord, the Muse is the most passive class possible. What's more passive than spending the entire duration of the game dead/dormant?
• So, Caliborn's whole Saw pornography game was pretty ridiculous at the time, right? But consider this: according to the green man himself, all relationships among his people are "dictated by the miracle of hatred." In other words, Cherubs ONLY have Black Romance. Possibly as a foil to us humans only having Red. Red romance runs counter to everything he knows about what's natural and right. So, when he contacted a human and asked for Red pornography... yeah, that was culture shock. And completely natural from his standpoint.
• The lack of updates for a few days now since 5/27 might actually be brilliant. Currently, the audience is witnessing two story perspectives-the main screen where updates are usually posted, and the web site banner on top with Homestuck's narrator-for-now Doc Scratch getting ready for his guest Spades Slick. The last posted update has the guest, with his weapon, bonking the Physical God narrator over his head. Now, how is this action relative to lack of updates? Remember the second half of Act 2 when the audience is introduced to WV, who seemed very hungry and had not eaten for a long time yet had enough energy to wander the Desert Wasteland in search of food and wind up in that chamber? As WV and SS are of the same species, it's possible for Slick to do nothing but bonk Doc's head for a couple of days without rest or food in a feeble attempt to crack his skull. AND Doc might not mind letting Slick do this for two reasons: One-He's a Physical God; days could pass like minutes to him, and Two-Doc's a Smug Super, he could be ALLOWING Slick to hammer him nonstop with his horsehead club for a couple days, just to make this result more humiliating to Spades Slick. In other words, SS is holding up the narrator Doc Scratch from narration!
• Recently we've learned that Caliborn, Arquius, and half of Gamzee had their souls trapped in Lil Cal. This explains many, many things.
  • It explains how LE is so STRONG.
  • It explains the spontaneous honking.
  • It explains why Lord English possessed Doc Scratch's body.
  • Lil Cal holds the soul of Arquius. a mixture of Equius and Dirk's Auto-Responder. Doc Scratch was made from Lil Cal via ecto-biology shenanigans. This explains why Doc wanted a Megido as a henchman and makes the fact that he is insanely abusive to her all the more creepy.
  • And the "Mental Breakdown" flash makes it clear that Lord English was already there. For the whole time.
• Let's not forget that somebody made a real◊ Lil Cal. And given that Lil Cal's existence in a given universe means that it will make whatever universe appear in become a living nightmare, it effectively means that, within the context of Homestuck canon, whoever made it is an Unwitting Instigator of Doom of the highest level.
• Why is Jake the same shade of green as Lord English? Because Jake learned hope from Grandma English, who demonstrated hope by changing the meaning of English (most likely stealing his color), and Lord English is basing his on two instances of false hope: Jake, and Calliope.
• Caliborn is described as having undergone a negative instance of Character Development, since by killing his sister be cheated himself out of properly maturing for his species. He grew up into what is essentially a Psychopathic Man Child whose actions have also ruined the course of the game, itself a metaphor for ones own character arc. The point of a normal session is basically to mature in a positive direction so one can create a new Universe and finish playing. Cal completely broke this, he became an emotionally immature gamer who forces everyone to comply with his playstyle, ruining their experiences with the game. An interpretation of the ending is that he's now stuck in a time loop where he does this forever while everyone else actually completes the game and gets to move in with their lives. Lord English and Cal can be interpreted as a Basement-Dweller "Stop Having Fun" Guy.