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Fanfic / The Beta Threat

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The Beta Threat, and its sequel Red Alpha Rising, are a pair of affectionate parodies and troll fics of the Call of Duty: Modern Warfare franchise by "The ender of lives." These poorly-spelled action-packed stories chronicle the adventures of Special Agent Shampoo as he battles terrorists and Communist revolutionaries.

The stories themselves are no longer online, but you can still listen to a Dramatic Reading of the two.


These stories include examples of:

  • Affectionate Parody: Ender of Lives must have either really hated Call of Duty or loved it so much, he thought he could improve it.
  • Back from the Dead: At the end of Red Alpha Rising, Reaperdeathkillergodninja returns from Heaven to help Shampoo defeat Osama husein muhamed abu ali mustafa farah aladin jafars.
  • Beyond the Impossible: Shampoo can do a great many things impossible for most people, including riding a rocket like a skateboard
  • Big "NO!": Frequent in The Beta Threat.
  • Car Fu: What Reaperdeathkillergodninja does with a humvee to save his friend.
  • Climactic Battle Resurrection: Reaperdeathkillergodninja, who reduces Osama husein muhamed abu ali mustafa farah aladin jafars to a charred skeleton via magical fire.
  • Covers Always Lie: The author's descriptions have decent spelling, good grammar, and the occasional big word.
  • Hostage Situation: The beginning of the fic.
  • Katanas Are Just Better: According to Ender of Lives Shampoo and Reaperdeathkillergodninja wield katanas because they are Speshul Forsez Ninjas!!
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Shampoo was able to kill the terrorists, but was so distracted he unable to stop the nukes from going off and killing the hostages.
  • No Name Given: Shampoo's boss or as he calls it Genrul.
  • The Power of Friendship: What both Shampoo and his partner use to defeat terists.
  • The Power of Love: The main reason Reaperdeathkillergodninja comes back from Heaven is because, while his head exploded, he still had his heart, and remembered his friends, love, and family.
  • Saving the World: To quote the first paragraph: "The world was in pease. But pease never forever. This is cuz terists want to brake pease becuz they ar evil. But heros sav pease and Peepull becuz they are good. This is story of Shampoo, who is hero of world and pease."
  • Red Shirt: Everyone except the main characters.
  • Rocket Jump: Jump? That's for sissies. Shampoo FLIES on his rocket.
  • Sequel Escalation:
  • Throwing Your Sword Always Works: Shampoo does this to slice a terrorist in half with a katana.
    • Secrut agn man (who is so secret he don't have name) manages to throw his sunglasses at someone and decapitates him.
  • Troll Fic
  • Worst Aid: Shampoo thinks the best way to help someone that has sustained bullet wounds to the head is to give them "medik bandades and CPR".

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