Cut His Heart Out With A Spoon / Web Animation

• Red vs. Blue:
  O'Malley: I will devour their hearts and crap out their souls!
  • In "Visiting Old Friends", when Caboose gets in touch with his "angry side" in order to fight off the noobs, he shouts absurd threats and insults like "I will eat your unhappiness!" and "Your toast is burnt, and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts!"
• Ayuda Mundial (roughly translated as World-Wide Help), a Latin American Halo machinima gives us this gem:
  Oscar: [to a curious fanboy] If you dare finish that sentence, I swear to God that I'll gouge your eyes out with a screwdriver. Then I'll cut your dick off and sharpen it until I can stick it on your neck to give you a tracheoechtomy. Finally, I'll scrape your skin off with a potato peeler and I'll squeeze it so I can send threatening letters to your whole family written with your own BLOOD!!
• Supermarioglitchy4's Super Mario 64 Bloopers: From "Luigi and the Haunted Castle":
  Luigi: what happenss if you catch me and chop me up! and then chop me up some more! then eat me and turn me into ghost poo!
  Big Boo: ew! thats disgusting! who would do that? I'm a sensitive guy.
• From the web series Neurotically Yours, Foamy the Squirrel does this in the episode "Zip Codes" to Franklin, the StarSchmucks barista, he keeps asking Foamy to fill out paperwork. Just to order a cup of black coffee.
  Foamy the Squirrel: I will fucking kill you. DO YOU HEAR ME?!? I will tear off your fucking balls and staple them to your fucking forehead! NOW STOP FUCKING AROUND AND GET ME MY FUCKING COFFEE!
• Spoofed in Web cartoon series Retarded Animal Babies. Puppy threatens to "vivisect [Cat] with [a] fondue fork" and "rape [him] with a handful of rusty corncob holders".
• In the web cartoon Go! Go! Mobaboy, the bad guy threatens our hero with "I'm gonna hit you so hard, your voice actor will feel it!"
• Dorkly.com has a regular feature that has loads of these.
• In the Orphaned Series Kermit Kombat, Kermit does the "getting a bit lost" variant, before getting sidetracked by realizing that's he's not speaking to the person he called:
  Kermit: I'm going to kill you. I'm going to rip your eyes out of your head and shove them up your ass, so you can watch me kicking your ass... um, while I'm kicking you ass! I'll tear into you like a monkey on a cupcake. I'll hit you so hard your dog is gonna be retarded! I'm gonna...
  Bob the cat: Um.. excuse me. Who is this?
  Kermit: [blushes in embarrassment] Um... is this Rocky Pinnacle?
• Sam & Mickey's Love Triangle Therapy Episode 2 has Yasmin give a surprisingly gruesome answer when Barbie asks what she'd do, hypothetically, if she learned about Ken having an affair with another woman. Yasmin threatens to cut off that woman's hands, then sew her vagina shut with an un-sterilized needle and thread.
• Not a threat, but Yahtzee's description of what he would just as soon do to himself as buy a $70 game that amounts to an expansion pack is suitably graphic: "swallow razor wire, pull the end out of my arse, and floss myself to death."
• Meet the Amazing Team:
  • Meet The Amazing Pyro: Just before they fight, Saxton Hale tells Pyro the two options before him:
    Saxton Hale: Either we fight so you can get revenge and ruin my plans, or you can leave immediately because I will rip your spine out of your ass if you pick option one!
  • A later video, The Amazing Interrogation, features an amusingly bizarre yet horrifically plausible threat from Soldier, which he proceeds to elaborate upon repeatedly. Spy, upon realizing that Soldier is completely insane and actually would follow through on his threat, is appropritely horrified.
    Soldier: I will crap in your mouth!
    Spy:...what.
    Soldier: C'mere sweetheart!
    Spy: What?!
    Soldier: Mwah hah ha ha ha!
    Spy: Help!
    Soldier: I have ten pounds of crap!
    Spy: NOOOO!
    Soldier: We are in a world of doody!
• DEATH BATTLE!: "Omni-Man vs. Homelander" opens with Omni-Man returning home to find that Homelander just killed his wife Debbie. Omni-Man sternly tells Homelander that he'll be feeding him his own heart, which Homelander thinks is a funny line and laughs off. Turns out, Omni-Man was dead serious about it in the most literal way possible, and at the end of the battle Homelander indeed gets his jaw torn open, his heart ripped out and shoved into it, and his head crushed with his heart in his mouth, all while Omni-Man tells him "remember what I promised you. Now swallow."
  Omni-Man: I'm going to feed you your own heart.
  Homelander: Hahaha, shit! That was a great li-
  (Omni-Man quickly punches Homelander right in the face.)

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