The Duck Who Never Was is a 1994 comic created by Don Rosa to celebrate the 60th anniversery of Donald Duck himself (Donald first appeared in the theatrical cartoon The Wise Little Hen in 1934), and was first published in the Danish magazine Anders And Co, shortly followed by the first U.S publication in Donald Duck #286.
It's Donald's birthday, but it's not promising to be any better than any other day, as he's off to yet another new job, and he's glumly convinced that he'll probably get fired before lunch, considering how his luck usually turns out. Making matters worse, Huey, Dewey and Louie don't even remember that it's Donald's birthday, and only offer some half-hearted congratulations when reminded of this fact. Depressed, Donald finds that he can't really blame them - there's nothing special about Donald Duck after all. If he never existed, nothing would change; Gladstone would still be annoyingly lucky, Uncle Scrooge would still be rich, and Daisy would still be pretty. And his nephews would probably be better off with one of their other relatives raising them anyway...
Things don't improve at the Duckburg Museum, where Donald has been hired as the new janitor - the extremely near-sighted curator misreads Donald's application form, and thinks the new employee is actually 60 years old, which is the mandatory retirement age for museum staff. So, as a token of esteem for his many... minutes of employment, the curator hands Donald a gold watch and shoves him out the door, giving Donald an all-time record for shortest time at a job. To add insult to injury, his new watch promptly breaks down in his hand, knocking him backwards into a display holding an ancient urn that promptly hits him on the head.
However, things suddenly take a turn for the bizarre as a genie suddenly appears from the urn, proclaiming that Donald has earned himself a magical wish. Thinking he's just hallucinating from the blow to the head, Donald doesn't believe the genie, but inadvertenly makes a wish anyway - to have never been born.
And between one moment and the next, things... change.
The Duckburg Museum is suddenly abandoned and boarded up, and the streets outside aren't any better, lined with defunct and closed businesses and homes. Confused, Donald notices that his car is missing, but as luck would have it, Grandma Duck's car comes rolling along just in time to give him a ride. However, the driver isn't Grandma, but rather a miserable-looking Gyro Gearloose, who not only doesn't recognize Donald, but isn't the genius inventor Donald knows, instead being a farmer of average intelligence. As it turns out, Gyro lost his intelligence years before during a misadventure with his "thinking boxes" that could make animals smart, something Donald remembers quite well, because he was there for that adventure, yet somehow... that no longer happened.
Hoping to borrow Uncle Scrooge's phone, Donald next heads to the Money Bin, only to find Scrooge and his staff gone. Instead, the Bin is now a printing plant for Daisy Duck, a wealthy romance novelist, but also a miserable spinster, with Grandma Duck working as her assistant after being forced to sell her farm due to getting too old to run it herself. When Donald tries to explain who he is, a haggard Daisy thinks he's making fun of her and chases him out of the Bin, finally making Donald realize that this isn't some horrifying dream - his wish to have never been born came true, and this is the result, his friends and family ruined and Duckburg falling apart around them.
It just gets worse on the streets outside, as Donald next runs into an emaciated Gus Goose, who reveals that Scrooge made him his top assistant, as he's the only relative Scrooge had who was willing to work for the wages offered. This was a disastrous choice, as Magica De Spell easily tricked Gus into handing over Scrooge's #1 Dime, the loss of which broke Scrooge so badly that Flintheart Glomgold easily swindled him out of his fortune and business empire, leaving Gus and Scrooge living on the streets while Flintheart took his prize with him back to South Africa, effectively destroying Duckburg in the process.
Horrified, Donald flees to Gladstone's house, hoping to get at least some sort of silver lining out of this nightmare by seeing his annoying cousin as miserable as everyone else. However, not only is Gladstone just as lucky as he's always been, he's now the guardian of Huey, Dewey and Louie, who have become a trio of lazy, overweight dullards thanks to his half-assed, irresponsible parenting. This is the final straw for Donald, who rushes back to the museum in his car (which belongs to Gladstone in this timeline), barely dodging the Beagle Boys in the process, who serve as Duckburgs new police force ever since Scrooge went broke and the city lost most of it's tax base. Crashing through the walls of the museum, Donald begs the genie for help, only to find out that he gets a new wish every time he touches the urn on his birthday, and promptly smashes the urn on his head again, right as the Beagle Boys reach him...
...and promptly wakes up back in the Duckburg he knows and loves. No Beagle Boy police, no destitute Uncle Scrooge, no miserable Daisy, everything is back the way it was. Thinking he'd just had some crazy dream from getting hit on the head, Donald is none the less thrilled to see things back to normal, feeling like he does matter after all!
He finds out just how much he matters to everyone once he gets back home and finds his friends and family gathered together to throw him a surprise birthday party - that's why his nephews acted like they didn't even remember his birthday earlier that morning, so he wouldn't see the party coming. Not only that, the curator from the museum suddenly shows up to rehire him, not because he realized that Donald isn't 60 years old, but because the retirement policy is actually 65, and asks Donald to come back to work the next day, with a raise.
Tropes:
- All Just a Dream: Subverted. Donald wonders if he's been dreaming, going back and forth between yes and no, and eventually decides it must have been so. But after he leaves the museum, the genie is revealed to exist in reality.Genie: Sheesh! What a screwball! He even argues with himself!
- Ageless Birthday Episode: Donald's actual age is never revealed. When he is asked to write down his date of birth, a panel shows him just about to fill out the last two numbers of his birth year, but we don't get to see it.
- The Alcoholic: It's a Disney comic, so it's not outright stated, but it's heavily implied that Daisy is one in the alternate universe to cope with her loneliness, pelting Donald with empty glass bottles when she chases him out of the Bin.
- The Bad Guy Wins: Both Magica De Spell and Flintheart Glomgold won in the alternate timeline, Magica melting down the #1 Dime and gaining the Midas Touch she always wanted, and Glomgold ruining Scrooge, taking his fortune and empire for himself.
- Brought Down to Normal: Gyro lost his genius during the events of "The Think Box Bollix" as a result of Donald not being around to help him, leaving him with average intelligence.
- Dirty Cop: With nothing left in Duckburg worth stealing, the Beagle Boys rebranded themselves as a police force that gets paid in "tips" - effectively charging the citizens if they need help.
- Formerly Fat: Living in abject poverty with Scrooge, Gus Goose has shrunk away to almost nothing.
- Ghost Town: Duckburg is slowly turning into one thanks to the loss of Scrooge's businesses and taxes.
- In Spite of a Nail: Gladstone was born lucky, just as he was in the normal timeline. Unfortunately, that only protects him, not the rest of the Ducks.
- It's a Wonderful Plot: A classic use of the trope - Duckburg turned into an absolute Wretched Hive without Donald around, with Gladstone being the only one who's life wasn't ruined by Donald not being born. This makes Donald rather mad, since he had hoped that the one silver lining of this horrible reality where all his loved ones suffer would be seeing Gladstone miserable as well.
- Killed Off for Real: Little Helper is permanently broken in the alternate timeline since Gyro no longer has the intelligence to fix him.
- May–December Romance: Played for Laughs - at the party, Daisy almost faints in shock when the curator mentions Donald being 60 years old, even though it's clearly not true.
- Pet the Dog: Scrooge gives Donald a six pack of his favorite soda as a birthday present. Of course, he's still Scrooge, so he's only giving him the soda, which he pours into a glass pitcher - the glass bottles are worth a nickle a piece in deposit after all.
- Riches to Rags: Losing his money to Glomgold, Scrooge is reduced to sleeping on the streets with only Gus to look after him.
- The Simple Life is Simple: Nope. While Gyro isn't stated to be particularly bad at it, running Grandma's old farm is very hard work, and he's not really suited for manual labor.
- Three Wishes: Averted - the Genie Donald meets refers to himself as a Birthday Genie, meaning he only grants wishes to those who touch his urn on their birthdays. They can have as many wishes as they want for the day, but they have to touch the urn every time.
- Took a Level in Dumbass: Gladstone's terrible parenting turned Huey, Dewey and Louie into dull-witted couch potatoes, lacking even the energy and spirit they had as pranksters when they first came to live with Donald.
