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Current Players
Baker Mayfield
- "Groundhog Day" Loop: Gets stuck in one after leading the Browns to the playoffs in 2020.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: He's seemingly unable to get through more than a sentence or two without dropping some kind of profanity. Played for extra laughs in his rookie season due to the contrast with his rookie baby voice.Baby!Baker: Hello, you silly b*tches. If you're feeling dangerous, subscribe to this channel to watch more f*cking episodes. Wooo, I'm so hyped for this sh*t!
Kyler Murray
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: Kyler is tiny compared to every other character in the series, a clear Lampshading of how much his size was a topic of discussion ahead of his rookie year. note
Lamar Jackson
- Ax-Crazy: In all his appearances after his 2018 rookie year, he is depicted with a deep, maniacal voice and an overly-aggressive personality, unable to even order at a restaurant without this leaking through.Lamar: (Looking at menu) I want... IT ALL!
- Badly Battered Babysitter: One episode has him babysitting the 2020 rookies, who quickly prove to be more of a handful than he anticipated. However, he eventually gets the upper hand.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: He's extremely annoyed that he can't win a prize at the quarter-season carnivalnote when players who've done less are able to win prizes.
Patrick Mahomes
- The Ace: Routinely seen doing things with ease that other players struggle with, such as playing on the WiFi during a ski race and asking if the insane "Scrambler" ride is the merry-go-round.
- Beware the Silly Ones: Mahomes has an exaggerated version of his “Kermit the Frog” voice, acts like a kid at a candy store, only worries about throwing his friend the football too hard... and is constantly dropping casual and coincidental Badass Boasts along the lines of how easy he finds everything right after someone else has expressed terror or nervousness. He is one of the few quarterbacks to avoid getting victimized in “The Purge”, and manages to unwittingly save Kirk Cousins and Cam Newton from Goodell’s ritual. Also, he nearly defeats both Lamar Jackson and Russell Wilson in the 2019 “MVP Race”, despite a delayed start, and only stopped because he already won one.
- Mad Libs Catchphrase: "Wow! What a fun, easy [whatever situation he's in]!"
Former Players
Andrew Luck
- Apologetic Attacker: In the Taken episode, he destroys the other AFC South teams, down to torturing one Jaguars player with a blowtorch, but he never stops apologizing and complementing them.
- Beware the Nice Ones: After spending most of the first two seasons as a nice guy plagued with injuries, Andrew Luck "goes full Liam Neeson" on the Texans, complete with a robot arm. note Andrew: Oh golly! I don't know who you are or what you want, but I'm Andrew- Hello! I have a very particular set of skills, skills I've required over almost half a career. Skills like accuracy, good decision making, and recommending the perfect book. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you, and I'm sorry about that. If you let the AFC South go now, that will be the end of it. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you- you silly goose- and I will absolutely destroy you.
- The Bus Came Back: Returns for a cameo in the Season 7 finale after last being seen in Season 4.
- But Now I Must Go: In the Season 4 premiere, Luck announces his retirement before literally disappearing into thin air. He does return for the season finale.
- Nice Guy: Luck is seemingly the friendliest and most cheerful guy in the universe.
- Perpetual Smiler: Is always smiling regardless of the situation.
Eli Manning
- Badly Battered Babysitter: Gets stuck babysitting the rookies in Season 3, much to his frustration.Eli: Oh, why are these kids so mobile?
- Demoted to Extra: Became a much less significant character, understandably, since the real Eli Manning's retirement.
- Butt-Monkey: One of Gridiron Heights’ biggest punching bags, especially after Luck’s retirement. His younger self (albeit an apparition given by “Franchise the Clown”) even falls victim to a bitter Philip Rivers.
Peyton Manning
- Demoted to Extra: Was a regular character in Season 1, but has made only four appearances in the six seasons since, with only one (in which he's showing Martellus Bennett around the "NFL retirement home") even having him in a major, plot-significant role (the others are a brief apparition by “Franchise the Clown”, being the photographer for the playoff picture, and hosting a carnival game along with Eli in an episode side plot).
- Sibling Rivalry: He's frequently seen scrapping verbally, and in one case physically, with Eli.
- Verbal Tic: Sometimes speaks his lines to the tune of the "Nationwide" commercial.
Coaches
Bill Belichick
- Creepy Monotone: Always speaks in a completely flat voice.
- Mad Scientist: The Season 2 Halloween episode depicts him as having a house full of weird experiments, including a series of clone Gronks and even a bizarre and grotesque creation known as the "human centerpede".
Zac Taylor
- Remember the New Guy?: His first appearance depicts him as this, with Sean McVay only calling him "Bengals Coach".
- Verbal Tic: Constantly adds his name in front of words that rhyme or sound similar, e.g. "Zac Nap" "Zac Snack", etc.
Other Significant Characters
Roger Goodell
- Big Bad: Of Season 1. This was largely phased out for later seasons, although he still has his moments (such as justifying the Purge).
- Shaking the Rump: In the Season 1 Christmas special, Santa Claus uses his magic to make an angry Roger Goodell twerk, to Antonio Brown's delight. Goodell later does it again at the end. (Also ends up being a bit of Fridge Humor, as this scene combined with the change in the character in Season 2 and beyond essentially suggests that Santa "fixed" Goodell by showing him how much fun dancing is.)
