- Vimes (and half the other characters present) at the climax — he arrests two entire armies (including his own side) as they stand on the battlefield, charging them with breach of the peace, loitering with intent, loitering within tent, malicious lingering... oh, and carrying a concealed weapon, simply because he was in the tent, and therefore couldn't see the weapons they were carrying. He also arrests the leader of the opposing army for murder and threatens to shoot the leader of Ankh-Morpork's army. At which point Captain Carrot organises a football game.
- In the same scene, when Vimes points out to the Magnificent Bastard Klatchian ruler (who is arrogantly pointing out that Vimes, being Lawful Good, wouldn't dare shoot) just who Vimes' own ancestor was: the somewhat legendary city guard captain who killed an insane ruler of Ankh-Morpork. The fact that Vetinari's Klatchian counterpart is visibly shaken at this is just made of win. The scene is made even more badass when you realize that Vimes was completely bluffing, was scared absolutely witless, and had just been told in no uncertain terms that the Klatchian army would be busy killing him if he hadn't made a single different decision earlier in the book. And then Vetinari shows up just in time to steal the bolt out of his crossbow. The best part? In sheer reflex of Vetinari snatching the bolt Vimes presses the trigger and notes how the look on said ruler's face will keep him warm on cold nights.
- Then there's this line, in regards to Carrot having talked the D'regs into not charging."This man can make water run uphill and he has a commander."
- Vetinari usually gets these near the ends of most of the stories he appears in, after orchestrating elaborate plans and Roulettes that work out to improve Ankh-Morpork for the better. Vetinari is badass.
- The knife-juggling stunt, which consisted of Vetinari juggling three melons and three knives at the same time (it is pointed out that this is harder than six of either item, because of the differences in shape and weight). He then goes on to use the knives to cut the melons in half in midair. Furthermore, on the next page, he claims that "Until now, I've never tried it."
- That is, he's never tried juggling. Of any kind.
- Apparently it's a cake walk compared to running Ankh-Morpork.
- His excuse: "One knows where the objects in question are, and where one wants them to be. What more does one need?"
- Vetinari surrenders the island of Leshp unconditionally to the Klatchians, leading Lord Rust to charge him with treason. Knowing that the island will sink back under the sea in a few days, he arranges for the treaty-signing to take place there, by manipulating the opposite site into suggesting it, even. Thus, the treaty becomes null and void, the Klatchian leader is disgraced, and, since he didn't sign a treaty to surrender a nonexistent island, all charges against Vetinari are dropped.Vetinari: All I know, my lord, is that Prince Cadram has, at a politically dangerous time for him, given up a huge military advantage in exchange for an island which appears to have sunk under the sea. The Klatchians are a proud people. I wonder what they will think?
- And Vimes' response when the city leaders reluctantly tell him that he has to let Vetinari go. "Well, if you think of anything to charge him with later, just let me know and I'll go arrest him again. I know where he lives."
- "VENI. VICI. VETINARI." This statement from Vetinari is awesome in a couple of words. First off, it refers the saying "VENI. VIDI. VICI", which also exists in-universe as a saying from General Tacticus. Second it acknowledges that there is no real victory but only the peace Vetinari had been able to ensure, and even that came at the cost of some lifes. (In Vetinari's own words: "Men marched away, Vimes. And men marched back. How glorious the battles would have been that they never had to fight!"). Third it shows that even this "victory" is something Vetinari at the same time does and does not take pride in.
- Nobby's weapons savviness from Men at Arms, followed by a Continuity Nod in this book, when Nobby gets his hands on a proto-RPG. Hilarity Ensues,
- Sam Vimes works out just what that shifty foreigner Ahmed is up to. He's smarter than he acts, he always seems to show up where there's been trouble, and then he starts asking awkward questions. And nobody knows better than Sam Vimes that there's a word for people like that. Copper.
- 71 Hour Ahmed. Basically the closest thing Discworld has to a Cowboy Cop and about equal to Vimes on nearly all counts, but especially when he points out to Vimes that both of them suspected their own countries on principle when the other country was incriminated, and the only difference was that Ahmed happened to be right.
- This exchange:Prince Cadram: Well, Mr Samuel, when I raise my hand, the men behind me will cut you d-71-Hour Ahmed: I will cut down the first man that moves.Prince Cadram: Then the second man that moves will kill you, traitor!Captain Carrot: (Drawing sword) They'll have to move very fast.Commander Vimes: Any volunteers to be the third man? Anyone?
- A possible, though creepy, case of Fridge Badassery for Vimes: In the alternate timeline where Klatch invades Ankh-Morpork, after Detritus (badass troll), Dorfl (badass golem) and Carrot (badass incarnate) die, Vimes is still the last man to be taken down.
- Might also be Fridge Heartwarming. Any one of them, or possibly all of them, might have given their lives trying to defend their commander. Which would only make it immeasurably more painful for Vimes, come to think of it.
- Props to dimwitted, stupid Colon for accurately guessing Prince Cadram's plan simply by being Too Dumb to Fool and not being politically correct like his boss.
- Vimes later recalls arresting Vetinari as being a personal Crowning Moment of Awesome. It doesn't stick, and he never really believed in the charge to begin with, but he realized that if there's to be any law, it has to extend all the way to the top.
- This also counts as a significant Moment of Awesome for Vetinari as well. Vetinari agrees that law should extend all the way to the top, a concession that would have been unthinkable from any previous Patrician or king. Yet Vetinari quite cheerfully encourages Vimes do his duty, even somewhat mischievously prodding him to do it properly (much to Vimes's annoyance). Furthermore, not only does he do so in the way that will most annoy Vimes, he also demonstrates to anyone smart among the upper classesnote that if the law can be applied thus to him, it can be applied to anyone else.
- Vimes shutting down Rust through the very traditions Rust depends on, taking advantage of every loophole and the Exact Words of this archaic system to ensure that Rust either doesn't have a leg to stand on or would be causing himself fun new problems if he did: for example, he can't object that only a king can make a knight, because that would also render Lord Downey's position illegitimate, Vimes isn't restricted to only humans because the books say "armed soldiers" without thinking they needed to specify species and so on. For all the talk in various books about Vimes not being too bright and making up for it through persistence, he manages to parse Ankh-Morpork chivalric law well enough to Rules Lawyer it in pretty short order.Rust: Then you and your...regiment come under my command-
Vimes: Strangely, no. 'Under the command of the King or his duly appointed representative,' it says in Scavone's Chivalric Law and Usage. And, of course, there has been no duly appointed representative since some complete bastard cut off the last king's head. Oh, assorted bods appear to have been ruling the city, but according to the chivalric tradition-
Narration: Rust stopped to think again. He had the look of a lawnmower just after the grass has organized a workers' collective.
Awesome / Jingo