The Daniel Craig version of James Bond (played by Ben Atha) battles Austin Powers (played by Peter Shukoff) to see which of them is cinema’s best spy… until Sean Connery’s Bond (played by Lloyd Ahlquist) steps up to the plate.
TROPES
- Agent Peacock: Just because Austin’s flamboyant doesn't mean he can't drop a verse.
- Backronym: Craig’s Bond comes up with a beautiful one.Spell my name! The ladies wanna B on D!
- Berserk Button: Connery’s Bond finally loses his cool when Craig's Bond mentions he uses a stunt-double.
- Bond Gun Barrel: Craig-Bond does the "shot the guy with the gun" thing at the end of his first verse, because it is his thing, obviously.
- Boring Insult: Austin Powers claims even his mojo fell asleep during his opponent's rap.
- Brave Scot: 60’s Bond is based on Sean Connery, so it's a given. The character is Scottish but raised in England (which makes Craig's Bond's comment about "actually English" count as research failure, especially since this fact is referenced in one of his own movies).
- Bring It: Classic Bond’s final lines are said while he makes the bring it motion with both hands.60's Bond: Now, you listen here, you duck-faced runt! I'm all in! I'm ready to die any day that you want!
- British Teeth: As Bond points out right off the bat, Powers’ teeth are more crooked and rotten than Bond's villains.
- Butt-Monkey: Austin Powers gets stepped on in the second half of the battle. When Connery's Bond enters the scene, Powers gets Demoted to Extra in his own battle. When he tries to interrupt Bond's second verse, he gets slapped and then told off.
- The Cameo: Members of Austin Powers’ band appear in his verse.
- Carpet of Virility: Austin Powers — as he puts it:Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush!
- The Casanova:
- Halfway through the battle, Craig-Bond even complains that he could be on an island with a model instead of wasting time against Powers.
- Austin Powers gets a lot of shagging as well, although Bond fails to see where his sex appeal comes from.
- Chivalrous Pervert: Austin’s a horny bastard through-and-through, but he respects that "no" means "no."
- Country Matters: Connery's Bond calls Craig’s Bond a pussy. Craig indirectly calls Connery an old cunt in response. It should be noted that both James and Ben Atha are from Britain, where the insult doesn't hold as much weight as it does in the United States.
- The Cynic: Due to what he's had to go through, Craig-Bond has little to believe in or hope for.
- Deadpan Snarker: Craig-Bond gets in a few dry jabs at Connery's Bond.60s Bond: If they made a Mini-Me, they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage!
Modern Bond: Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English. - Decomposite Character: The Sean Connery and Daniel Craig versions of James Bond are split into two different characters. who end up rapping against each other. Even within the battle itself, the verses start out referring to the character of Bond in general before later becoming specifically about Craig or Connery.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance:
- Not only does Austin Powers consider himself sexually attractive despite his odd appearance deficits, but he genuinely doesn’t understand why someone as conventionally attractive as Daniel Craig would be considered handsome at all. Since Powers was frozen in suspended animation in the 1960s, this can be excused that sexual norms back then were different. This is especially ironic that one of the qualities that he considers makes him attractive — in this case, his copious amount of body-hair — applies to Connery's version of Bond.
- Both Craig's Bond and Powers point out that some of Classic Bond’s love scenes are rather... questionable to modern viewers.
- Demoted to Extra: Powers gets cast aside in his own battle when Connery's Bond joins the battle.
- Dodgy Toupee: Craig's Bond calls Connery’s Bond a "rug-wearing misogynist", a reference to Connery going Prematurely Bald.
- Enemy Mine: Connery Bond’s interruption of the rap battle and dated views on women get Craig's Bond and Powers to indirectly team up against him.
- Enemy Without: Technically speaking, Connery’s Bond is one to Craig's Bond, given that they're different versions of the same character.
- Ethical Slut: Practically every line out of Austin Powers’ mouth involves sex in some way, and he's presented as much more upbeat compared to Bond. He also agrees with Craig's Bond that Connery's Bond has an unfortunate view on women.
- Everyone Has Standards: While Craig-Bond has quite a few notches on his bedpost, he still calls Connery's bond a "rug-wearing misogynist" for his more... questionable sexual encounters. Powers may be an unabashed womanizer, but he also finds Connery's Bond "a bit rapey."Austin Powers: I mean, I like to swing, but Dr. No means no, baby!
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Follow the Leader: Craig’s Bond is accused of being a ripoff by Connery's Bond. Right after he claims to be the "original model" that Powers ripped off. - Formula-Breaking Episode: This battle has the first physical set that matches the authenticity of the costumes and makeup, a homage to the music video for "BBC" by Ming Tea as well as the first movie's Eye Catch. It's also the first battle where a third-party rapper (Sean Connery's Bond) not only shows up but actually has mutual back-and-forth exchange of insults with the other two, as opposed to just finishing the battle with his first verse.
- Funny Background Event: Powers has the biggest shit-eating grin when Connery's Bond slaps Craig's Bond.
- Hashtag Rap: Quoth Modern Bond: “I only need one round — (BANG) — Golden Gun!"
- Hypocritical Humor: Bond calls Austin a rip-off of himself, ignoring that Spectre copied the Plot Twist of Bond and Blofeld being brothers from Austin Powers in Goldmember.
- If I Wanted X, I Would Y: 60s Bond tells his modern counterpart that ”If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken."
- Ignored Enemy: When Connery's Bond enters the battle, Austin Powers is completely ignored by Craig's Bond and barely gets any attention from Connery's Bond as the two of them duke it out.
- I Take Offense to That Last One: Connery brushes off Powers accusing him of raping women, but gets enraged when Craig points out that he's not actually English.
- Jerkass: Not only does Connery’s Bond slap Powers for politely asking to go back into his own battle, both of his opponents point out his poor views on women.
- Kavorka Man: Despite being a scrawny weirdo with a hairy chest and crooked yellow teeth, Austin Powers is very popular with the ladies.
- Officer and a Gentleman: When Craig's Bond and Powers call Connery’s Bond a misogynist who's "rapey", he replies he's a distinguished and extraordinary gentleman whose Mini Me would be Peter Dinklage, the implication being regardless how it looks to outsiders he treats his women with respect.
- Other Me Annoys Me: When Sean Connery's Bond appears, he spends his entire verse belittling his Daniel Craig counterpart, only for Craig-Bond to start ripping into him right back.
- Poe's Law: In-Universe. Present-day James Bond seems unaware that Austin is a parody of himself, and is genuinely confused at what he perceives as an inexplicably-silly imitator.
- Pyrrhic Victory: James Bond (both of them) considers Austin Powers to be irrelevant and undeserving of any attention, causing Daniel Craig’s Bond to bemoan the entire battle against him as a pointless endeavor, even if he wins.Bond: (Ugh!) I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown! I should be on an island with a fucking model by now!
- Questionable Consent: Craig Bond and Austin Powers both call out Connery Bond for the "rapey" nature of his encounters with women.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni:
- Austin is the red oni. He's much more lively and fun-loving than both of his opponents, something he counts as a positive compared to Bond during his segment.
- James Bond (the Daniel Craig version) is the blue to Powers’ red; he’s much more sophisticated and composed than the flamboyant Powers. He's also the red to Connery's Bond’s blue. He's visibly more worked up than the latter during his verses.
- Connery Bond is the blue to Craig's Bond's red. Throughout his verses, he generally remains cool and composed, until the last verse when his Berserk Button is pressed.
- Sharp-Dressed Man: It wouldn't be Bond without that sharp tux. In modern Bond’s own words, he's "bespoke from [his] head to [his] toe". Classic Bond, meanwhile, raps while dressed in his white dinner jacket from Goldfinger.
- Silly Rabbit, Cynicism Is for Losers!: Austin Powers attacks Bond's Darker and Edgier modern films as boring to the audiences.Austin Powers: The people want a hero with a little personality!
No one wants to sit through your gritty reality! - Sliding Scale of Idealism vs. Cynicism: Craig-Bond is firmly in the cynical end with his films being grittier and he himself not believing in anything as opposed to Powers's more fun, idealistic style.
- Special Guest: Ben Atha as the modern James Bond
- Tempting Fate: Craig’s Bond calls himself the "original model" as a Pretender Diss against Austin Powers. Enter Sean Connery.
- Tropical Epilogue: Craig’s Bond complains that the battle against Austin Powers is a waste of time and that he should be on an island sipping martinis and getting laid by now.
- Wham Shot: As Craig's Bond rants about how Austin is below him as a secret agent, a familiar duck hat can be seen slowly rising up behind him.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Craig's Bond and Austin Powers point out that Connery-Bond’s sex scenes are "a bit rape-y".
