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Articles and Tales
"Without morals, are we truly any better than the things we've set ourselves to contain?"
— Board of Ethics Member, Chathos
[DATA EXPUNGED]/[REDACTED]
— Any time the Foundation encounters Things Man Was Not Meant to Know
In order to prevent knowledge of SCP-001 from being leaked, several/no false SCP-001 files have been created alongside the true file/files.
— SCP-001
regarding the Foundation's Multiple-Choice Past
regarding the Foundation's Multiple-Choice PastYesterday,
I watched the world nearly die in a thousand thousand terrible ways. Sometimes we would have had time to scream.
Today,
I'm alive to write about it. You want happy endings? Fuck you.
You're alive to read it.
God help us all.
Secure. Contain. Protect.
I watched the world nearly die in a thousand thousand terrible ways. Sometimes we would have had time to scream.
Today,
I'm alive to write about it. You want happy endings? Fuck you.
You're alive to read it.
God help us all.
Secure. Contain. Protect.
You've done horrible, awful things while working for the Foundation — don't try to deny it, Doctor. We've all done horrible awful things while working for the Foundation. That is one of the unavoidable consequences of working with SCPs. And on occasion, you've wondered if we are the, quote unquote, bad guys. Well… we're not. [...]
Remember this: the Foundation is not evil. We do not torture people "just because". We are against unnecessary cruelty. Which means somebody has to decide when cruelty is necessary. And that somebody is us.
Remember this: the Foundation is not evil. We do not torture people "just because". We are against unnecessary cruelty. Which means somebody has to decide when cruelty is necessary. And that somebody is us.
— The Ethics Committee Orientation on being Necessarily Evil
on being Necessarily EvilIf the Foundation expects me to keep working like this, they’ll have to start paying me a lot more than they do.
Note: Pay increase declined. Welcome to the Foundation, get used to it. -O5-6
Note: Pay increase declined. Welcome to the Foundation, get used to it. -O5-6
— SCP-599
It always sucks ass to get Initial Retrieval duty. You have no idea what the damn thing is capable of besides what jacked up information the field techies can scrape up, and you're lucky if they even tell you the whole story. They told us to "bag and tag." Didn't tell us jackshit about not looking at the damn thing.
— The Sole Survivor of SCP-096's capture
's captureI would like to here again state that 106 is not, as is commonly believed, a basic predator, on par with an advanced shark. SCP-106 is a sentient being, albeit a totally alien one. SCP-106 appears to be aware of several things beyond the scope of pure instinct and genetic memory. SCP-106 consistently breaches at moments where recovery and containment are most difficult. A fox may see his way out of a trap, but only a man will wait for his captors to look away to escape.
I'd love to start at the beginning, but I'm honestly not sure when the world started to end.
SCP-1539-03 is Agent Jim Thayer, the first responder to the report of SCP-1539. Agent Jim Thayer is a brown leather wallet roughly 11 cm X 9 cm in size, containing $11 in US currency. Since his recovery from the site of SCP-1539, Agent Thayer has remained unresponsive...
— SCP-1539
I think we have established that anomalous maggots are not a viable alternative to ranching.
...
Sample: one (1) fast food cheeseburger purchased from █████ drive through.
Result: SCP-726 reconstituted two mature cattle and ██ Norwegian rats.
...
Sample: one (1) fast food cheeseburger purchased from █████ drive through.
Result: SCP-726 reconstituted two mature cattle and ██ Norwegian rats.
— SCP-726
What if bees resembled bees?
What if bees resembled DIFFERENT bees?
What if bees resembled DIFFERENT bees?
— Bees
In the situation that the diary is bees, a modified document will be provided.
— Bees
Personnel are to note that they are a fish.
— SCP-1839
SCP-2662 moves to the shower stall and turns on the water. It sits in the shower stall for the remainder of the incident.
— SCP-2662
We die in the dark so that others can live in the light.
— A common saying among Foundation personnel
I am constantly having to explain to visiting Foundation officials that yes, there are uncontained underwater panthers in the lake, and no, we're not attempting to contain them. There has been a serious failure of understanding, here: it's not our lake, and they're not our panthers.
— Dr. V. Lesley Scout on his journal entry, explaining why SCP-5494 is left uncontained in the Great Lakes.
Kill us already.
If you want our eyes and bones and the computers in our brains? Take it all, I don't care. It doesn't matter. But get it over with already. Kill us or let us go, and I don't care if we're thrown out blind and crippled because at least then we're free of you.
You give us three meals a day and a bed and a few books, and you pretend like it justifies locking us in here like animals in cages or dolls on a shelf. You learned how to be polite, how to dress up in labcoats and say please and thank you and pretend like you have souls.
Who do you think you're fooling? We know who you are, you and your kin. You're all the fucking same, no matter if you say it's for state or god or self-interest. You just like hurting people. You'll build an empire on corpses and call it a garden.
After all we've done, all we've been able to survive, we're right back in the place we escaped. Just pretty women in boxes.
We were going to get to space. We were going to build the ship, and we'd go all the way up past the sky and look down at the world, and we would have won. We would have fucking won. We would be alive. And we could show everyone that it's okay, that they can be free too, that they can be alive. We'd help them. And now... nothing.
You’ve won, okay? You've fucking won.
I just want to see my sisters again.
If you want our eyes and bones and the computers in our brains? Take it all, I don't care. It doesn't matter. But get it over with already. Kill us or let us go, and I don't care if we're thrown out blind and crippled because at least then we're free of you.
You give us three meals a day and a bed and a few books, and you pretend like it justifies locking us in here like animals in cages or dolls on a shelf. You learned how to be polite, how to dress up in labcoats and say please and thank you and pretend like you have souls.
Who do you think you're fooling? We know who you are, you and your kin. You're all the fucking same, no matter if you say it's for state or god or self-interest. You just like hurting people. You'll build an empire on corpses and call it a garden.
After all we've done, all we've been able to survive, we're right back in the place we escaped. Just pretty women in boxes.
We were going to get to space. We were going to build the ship, and we'd go all the way up past the sky and look down at the world, and we would have won. We would have fucking won. We would be alive. And we could show everyone that it's okay, that they can be free too, that they can be alive. We'd help them. And now... nothing.
You’ve won, okay? You've fucking won.
I just want to see my sisters again.
Complaint Recipient: Foundation Ethics Committee / Site Director's Council / North American Regional Command / Sophia [EXPLETIVE] Light / The [EXPLETIVE] Overseer Council for all I [EXPLETIVE] care
Complaint Originator: Elias
Complaint Title: what the [EXPLETIVE] you [EXPLETIVE]
Yeah hi guys, it's Elias. I don't know who [EXPLETIVE] passed the [EXPLETIVE] vote to let this remarkable [EXPLETIVE] travesty take place, but it's not going to [EXPLETIVE] fly. I let you do the [EXPLETIVE] monkey thing because it was funny, but this [OBSCENE METAPHOR] is not.
A [EXPLETIVE] million look-alikes in the world and your best laid plan is to [OBSCENE EUPHEMISM] me into the corpse of some [EXPLETIVE] rancho [EXPLETIVE] yee-haw go get-em cowgirl [DEROGATORY NAME FOR A POLITICIAN]. How the [EXPLETIVE] would you like it if somebody knocked you the [EXPLETIVE] out and you woke up smelling like [EXPLETIVE] cheap beer and [OBSCENE EUPHEMISM]? Pretty [EXPLETIVE] horrible, I'd imagine. That sure would [EXPLETIVE] suck, wouldn't it?
You know I can't even take a [EXPLETIVE]? Sit down on the john and squeeze and no [CREATIVE USE OF DESCRIPTORS APPROXIMATING AN OBSCENE DESCRIPTION OF FECES] comes out. They had to put a pump in there just to squeeze the [EXPLETIVE] out. My [EXPLETIVE] doesn't work, I constantly smell like [EXPLETIVE], and Lament is getting his [EXPLETIVE] off because he says I look like a chimpanzee. [EXPLETIVE] him, and [EXPLETIVE] you.
How about this for an idea. Next time one of you [LONG STRING OF EXPLETIVES] eggheads gets it in your [EXPLETIVE] thick skulls that you've got something clever in the works, take that and [CREATIVE USE OF SLANG, METAPHOR, ALLUSION AND EUPHEMISM APPROXIMATING OBSCENITY] and see if they have to put a pump in you to push it out. I bet it probably wouldn't help.
Yours truly,
Get [EXPLETIVE],
Elias
P.S. and if Sophia has to read this, you can tell her she can [OBSCENE METAPHOR].
Complaint Originator: Elias
Complaint Title: what the [EXPLETIVE] you [EXPLETIVE]
Yeah hi guys, it's Elias. I don't know who [EXPLETIVE] passed the [EXPLETIVE] vote to let this remarkable [EXPLETIVE] travesty take place, but it's not going to [EXPLETIVE] fly. I let you do the [EXPLETIVE] monkey thing because it was funny, but this [OBSCENE METAPHOR] is not.
A [EXPLETIVE] million look-alikes in the world and your best laid plan is to [OBSCENE EUPHEMISM] me into the corpse of some [EXPLETIVE] rancho [EXPLETIVE] yee-haw go get-em cowgirl [DEROGATORY NAME FOR A POLITICIAN]. How the [EXPLETIVE] would you like it if somebody knocked you the [EXPLETIVE] out and you woke up smelling like [EXPLETIVE] cheap beer and [OBSCENE EUPHEMISM]? Pretty [EXPLETIVE] horrible, I'd imagine. That sure would [EXPLETIVE] suck, wouldn't it?
You know I can't even take a [EXPLETIVE]? Sit down on the john and squeeze and no [CREATIVE USE OF DESCRIPTORS APPROXIMATING AN OBSCENE DESCRIPTION OF FECES] comes out. They had to put a pump in there just to squeeze the [EXPLETIVE] out. My [EXPLETIVE] doesn't work, I constantly smell like [EXPLETIVE], and Lament is getting his [EXPLETIVE] off because he says I look like a chimpanzee. [EXPLETIVE] him, and [EXPLETIVE] you.
How about this for an idea. Next time one of you [LONG STRING OF EXPLETIVES] eggheads gets it in your [EXPLETIVE] thick skulls that you've got something clever in the works, take that and [CREATIVE USE OF SLANG, METAPHOR, ALLUSION AND EUPHEMISM APPROXIMATING OBSCENITY] and see if they have to put a pump in you to push it out. I bet it probably wouldn't help.
Yours truly,
Get [EXPLETIVE],
Elias
P.S. and if Sophia has to read this, you can tell her she can [OBSCENE METAPHOR].
-Director Jack Bright/Elias Shaw, expressing his...opinion on how the Foundation plans to handle SCP-4444
The Wolf ate the Owl
The Wolf ate the Wren
The Wolf ate the Crow in the Dragon's den.
The Dragon woke up
And saw the mad beast
And she thought he'd make a rather fine feast.
The Wolf, he was clever
The Wolf, he was sly
The Wolf spun a tale, a glint in his eye.
The Dragon thought it hard
And she thought it best
To tear a wide hole in her beating chest
The Wolf grinned and laughed
And went out once again
To go find another dragon's den.
Suckers.
The Wolf ate the Wren
The Wolf ate the Crow in the Dragon's den.
The Dragon woke up
And saw the mad beast
And she thought he'd make a rather fine feast.
The Wolf, he was clever
The Wolf, he was sly
The Wolf spun a tale, a glint in his eye.
The Dragon thought it hard
And she thought it best
To tear a wide hole in her beating chest
The Wolf grinned and laughed
And went out once again
To go find another dragon's den.
Suckers.
You want happy endings?
Fuck you.
You want sad endings?
Again, fuck you.
There are only endings. If 15 years of service to a shadowy fascist organization bent on locking up all our demons in boxes has taught me anything, it's that "good" and "bad" are completely subjective. One man's ZK-class reality failure is another man's orgasm.
So.
Why bother?
Because sometimes, temporarily, everything goes right.
Whatever your situation, however bad things get - As long as you're alive, there can always be a great day.
Fuck you.
You want sad endings?
Again, fuck you.
There are only endings. If 15 years of service to a shadowy fascist organization bent on locking up all our demons in boxes has taught me anything, it's that "good" and "bad" are completely subjective. One man's ZK-class reality failure is another man's orgasm.
So.
Why bother?
Because sometimes, temporarily, everything goes right.
Whatever your situation, however bad things get - As long as you're alive, there can always be a great day.
Other
In the end, the Foundation staff aren't murderers and madmen. They're just people doing their part to protect the world. However, this doesn't change the fact that in the end, many of their actions are immoral and unjust: at the very least, the fact that many humanoid SCPs are being imprisoned against their will simply for what they are should give one pause. Do the ends justify the means?
We don't know.
And that is the big question that every reader of the Foundation Wiki will have to answer for themselves in the long run.
We don't know.
And that is the big question that every reader of the Foundation Wiki will have to answer for themselves in the long run.
— DrClef, "The Foundation and Evil"
"Deep in the shadows we work to preserve
The world you know from the worlds we observe
The monsters and the mysteries, the dark and the absurd
That dot in your periphery, we work to keep it blurred
It's imperative our presence is entirely under wraps
When just a single leak could mean societal collapse
These unrelenting entities weren't meant to be unchained
For your protection we keep them securely contained
We've a cavalcade of catastrophic creatures in our care
Abominable objects, we've a plethora to spare
We've a lizard by some wizardry, impossible to kill
By blade or blast or bullet, the effect is simply nil
So come and take a look at all the horrors in our stores
But not at O-Nine-Six unless you're into being gored
No, best to train your gaze upon that statue over there
You'll be a bloody haze should it ever stray elsewhere
Minds change due to anomalies
Terminate all keter qualities
Hidden from the world, creatures left unchecked
Secure contain protect
Some won’t leave your memories
Hear the echo of their screaming harmonies
Hidden out of sight things you won’t forget
Secure contain protect
That warning on your cigarettes may seem a little brash
One breath and then your sanity will vanish in the ash
So be careful when selecting a professional to see
The doctor here in residence is lacking a degree
Swedish retailers aren't a usual concern
But you can keep all your receipts, you won't be making a return
From 3008 and its maze of furniture packaging
Eternally trapped within a flatpack labyrinth
The world you know from the worlds we observe
The monsters and the mysteries, the dark and the absurd
That dot in your periphery, we work to keep it blurred
It's imperative our presence is entirely under wraps
When just a single leak could mean societal collapse
These unrelenting entities weren't meant to be unchained
For your protection we keep them securely contained
We've a cavalcade of catastrophic creatures in our care
Abominable objects, we've a plethora to spare
We've a lizard by some wizardry, impossible to kill
By blade or blast or bullet, the effect is simply nil
So come and take a look at all the horrors in our stores
But not at O-Nine-Six unless you're into being gored
No, best to train your gaze upon that statue over there
You'll be a bloody haze should it ever stray elsewhere
Minds change due to anomalies
Terminate all keter qualities
Hidden from the world, creatures left unchecked
Secure contain protect
Some won’t leave your memories
Hear the echo of their screaming harmonies
Hidden out of sight things you won’t forget
Secure contain protect
That warning on your cigarettes may seem a little brash
One breath and then your sanity will vanish in the ash
So be careful when selecting a professional to see
The doctor here in residence is lacking a degree
Swedish retailers aren't a usual concern
But you can keep all your receipts, you won't be making a return
From 3008 and its maze of furniture packaging
Eternally trapped within a flatpack labyrinth
— SCP Wiki rap: Keter Qualities, The Stupendium, Musiclide, ZaBlackRose
, The Stupendium, Musiclide, ZaBlackRoseMay I introduce you to
The world's most decorated zoo
For everything you wish was make-believe
Oh, buddy did you know
You could shake hands with a demon
If you wanna take that dare, so be it
You could lose an arm or a leg so easy here
So let me give you a scenario
And don't you tell a soul
It's only hypothetical
Imagine all your nightmares
Contained in a single glorified reformatory
Where nothing ever gets out
Straitjackets have been worn out
Good guys, bad guys accommodated
If it don't make any sense, like it's something in a story
We'll make sure it stays fiction
In our superstitious foundation
Medicine unlike any other
Coffee machine dispensing blood for a sucker
All that we display will never leave
But buddy, don't you know
We don't wanna let armageddon
Rear its ugly head like a nuclear weapon
We secure, contain, protect
So you don't live in fear
Did I even mention
The monsters that preside?
Where do I begin? Where do I begin?
'Cause there is more than 99
The Vermin God, The Anklebiters
Brother's Bride, Shy Guy, Trapped in the Typewriter
Snapper of Necks, On A Perfect Day
Polaroid, Builder Bear, Hungry Clay
Water Orb, River Cat, Draws You In the Book
Whistlebones, Abandoned Row Home
There Was a Crooked Man, Man's Best Friend
Hateful Star, Desert in a Can
(And that isn't even half of it)
So let me give you a scenario
And don't you tell a soul
It's only hypothetical
Let me give you a scenario
But don't you go thinking it's real
Imagine all your nightmares
Contained in a single glorified reformatory
Where nothing ever gets out
Straitjackets have been worn out
Good guys, bad guys accommodated
If it don't make any sense, like it's something in a story
We'll make sure it stays fiction
In our superstitious foundation
Superstitious foundation
Superstitious foundation
The world's most decorated zoo
For everything you wish was make-believe
Oh, buddy did you know
You could shake hands with a demon
If you wanna take that dare, so be it
You could lose an arm or a leg so easy here
So let me give you a scenario
And don't you tell a soul
It's only hypothetical
Imagine all your nightmares
Contained in a single glorified reformatory
Where nothing ever gets out
Straitjackets have been worn out
Good guys, bad guys accommodated
If it don't make any sense, like it's something in a story
We'll make sure it stays fiction
In our superstitious foundation
Medicine unlike any other
Coffee machine dispensing blood for a sucker
All that we display will never leave
But buddy, don't you know
We don't wanna let armageddon
Rear its ugly head like a nuclear weapon
We secure, contain, protect
So you don't live in fear
Did I even mention
The monsters that preside?
Where do I begin? Where do I begin?
'Cause there is more than 99
The Vermin God, The Anklebiters
Brother's Bride, Shy Guy, Trapped in the Typewriter
Snapper of Necks, On A Perfect Day
Polaroid, Builder Bear, Hungry Clay
Water Orb, River Cat, Draws You In the Book
Whistlebones, Abandoned Row Home
There Was a Crooked Man, Man's Best Friend
Hateful Star, Desert in a Can
(And that isn't even half of it)
So let me give you a scenario
And don't you tell a soul
It's only hypothetical
Let me give you a scenario
But don't you go thinking it's real
Imagine all your nightmares
Contained in a single glorified reformatory
Where nothing ever gets out
Straitjackets have been worn out
Good guys, bad guys accommodated
If it don't make any sense, like it's something in a story
We'll make sure it stays fiction
In our superstitious foundation
Superstitious foundation
Superstitious foundation
