You've got the pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath
And go ahead and sign the scroll
Flotsam! Jetsam! Now I've got her, boys!
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul
Satan: In exchange for eternal damnation of your soul? You're much too nice a guy for me to want to do that to you, Mr. Marino.
Marino: You did it for Namath!
Satan: Yeah, but Joe was coming here anyways.
Marino: This sucks. (storms off) I'll just go to the Superbowl as an announcer! And I'll win myself an Emmy!
Satan: That's the spirit!
Nicky: You're a good Devil, Dad.
Satan: And I also happen to be a Jets fan.
Darth Vader: Perhaps you think you are being treated unfairly?
Vader: Good. It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here.
Lando: (after Vader leaves) This "deal" is getting worse all the time!
Vir Cotto: What do I want? I want to live just long enough to be there when they cut your head off and stick it on a pike, as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price. I want to look up into your lifeless eyes and wave like this.
Tommy Dolan: (uncomfortable laugh) Oh, but I'm not that bad, am I?
Justin Crowe: No, you're right. You aren't.
More than evil, I laugh at your trust
But it's not free baby, you'll have to pay
What about that is worth preserving? You just got a fat kick in the nuts from the world, again. The latest in a series of them. You are despondent. And then a terrible thing comes slouching out of the tree line, and it says that the architects of the cosmos understand your pain. They, too, have been unjustly overthrown, and imprisoned, and mutilated into the horrible thing you see before you. But they need a hero to save them. To bring down the cruel hegemony of the uncaring gods. To castigate a world steeped in corruption. So help us, they say. We cannot act, but we can give you power that will make the bickering gods of field and storm that ruin your crops every other year quail in terror. We cannot free ourselves, but we can give you a guide to help you set us free. We cannot reach beyond the bounds of our prison, but we will give you the strength to brush the stars out of the sky and set armies fleeing in terror before you. We cannot save those you love, but we can give you the cosmic might to do it yourself. All you have to do is serve us, and help us, and you will be Exalted above all other men when we are free, and the world will be yours.
They're lying with every second breath, but they're also telling you everything you want to hear. So you say okay. You say, yes, I'll change the world. And then the demon explodes into a hideous web of Essence and viscera, and closes about you, and your heart leaps in terror and revulsion and horror, but it's too late.
Some choose material wealth, mere shadows of true wealth, true power. You will have no need for paper and metal when you carry within you something much greater.
Some choose to be made into figureheads, pale shadows of those who walk the true and enlightened path, alongside us. Become the one who pulls the strings, not the puppet on the throne.
Some choose to be granted the gift of sight, to envision and recreate beauty... but beauty is hollow compared to true power.
Some choose to be granted the gift of language, to use words to seduce and change the world... but true power cannot be contained by words, and true power can shape the world to your will.
Come, and we'll speak of your future. We are fascinated by you. We want to hear everything about you.
The time has come to accept our gift to you. We can give you everything... The world. You only have to choose to accept it.
Varsuvius: No one. I did this to myself, so that I might vanquish the dragon.
Inkyrius: To yourself? You - what did you do??
Varsuvius: I negotiated an exchange with three gentlemen from... other planes of existence.
Inkyrius: Which planes?
Varsuvius: ...Those in the ventral position?
Inkyrius: YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL TO FIENDS???
Varsuvius: Technically, it is more of a fixed-term lease with an occupancy date yet to be determined.
Yes, choose death... but should it be yours? Is it justice that you should be killed for seeking to protect what rightfully belongs to you, or for avenging yourself on those who have wronged you? Is it enough for you to martyr yourself for the sake of your dearly departed mother and your beloved country?
No. I believe you can do much, much better than that.
Of course, this blessing will not come without cost. When you swear to follow us, we expect unquestioning loyalty. Still, I think you will agree that this is a small price to pay for the power to change the world and return it to the shape you know it should have. We are not an unfair master, and you will have the freedom you need to ensure your fiefdom's prosperity. If that is unacceptable to you then you can turn your eyes away from the clouded heavens, take your tiny knife, and see what good fortune comes your way... but we both know that you will not do that. It is not in your nature to accept a tragic fate when you have a choice.
Bender: Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil," I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically," I mean get your coat.