- The scene when Jessie and Woody meet. She's all over him in seconds, and is so loud and hyperactive that it spooks Woody.
Woody: Okay. I'm officially freaked out now.
- "No, Buzz — I am your father!"
- What makes this actually funny is the Big "NO!" reaction from Utility Belt Buzz is obviously overly dramatic (much likely intentional for Rule of Funny), especially if compared to Luke Skywalker's reaction in Empire Strikes Back. Also, all other Andy's toys except Rex obviously don't bother to pay attention or take the battle between Zurg and Utility Belt Buzz seriously.
- And later:
"I'm gonna spend some quality time with my dad!"
"Go long, Buzzy!"
*doink* "Great throw, son!"
- Rex accidentally knocking Zurg off the elevator into a seemingly Disney Villain Death in Slow Motion:
Rex: (astonished) I did it! I finally defeated Zurg!
New!Buzz: (reaching sadly into the chasm): Father...!
- The toys crossing the street, especially the shot of all the chaos they're oblivious they just caused.
Mr. Potato Head: (completely unaware) "Well that went well!"
- When Al accidentally caused Woody's arm to completely fall off, Woody didn't even blink. The moment Al leaves the room, Woody starts freaking out almost immediately.
Stinky Pete: Let me see it. Oh, it's just a popped seam. Easily repaired. You should consider yourself lucky.
Woody: LUCKY!? Are you shrink-wrapped!? I AM MISSING MY ARM!
- "You have saved our lives! We are eternally grateful!"
- "Will you just shut up and leave me alone?!"
- The Outtakes. ALL OF THEM.
Mrs. Potato Head: And monkey chow!
Mr. Potato Head: Monkey chow? For what?
Mrs. Potato Head: Well for the monkeys of course! Come on monkeys!
(monkeys swarm all over Mr. Potato Head)
Mr. Potato Head: That's it! I draw the line at monkeys! Get my agent on the phone!
- The various pranks Woody plays on Buzz during the outtakes. Such as the old "ink on the binoculars' rims" trick. Buzz takes the pranks in stride at first, but quickly gets annoyed, making the whole thing even funnier.
- "THIS SPACE FOR RENT."
- "DARN IT, WOODY!"
- What starts off Woddy's pranks is the scene where Buzz is walking through the entire aisle of Buzz Lightyear toys... with Woody in one of the boxes, making the silliest expression ever at him. Even Buzz can't resist laughing. Woody is such a Troll.
- Woody turns Stinky Pete's box around to reveal...he's talking to twin Barbies.
- The fact that he looks at their asses as they walk out just makes this even funnier:
Stinky Pete: So you two are absolutely identical? You know I could probably get you a part in Toy Story 3... (realizing they're filming) Oh, I'm sorry are we back? Well girls, lovely talking with you! Yes any time you'd like some tips on acting I'd be glad to chat with you. Now off you go!
- Woody getting his butt stuck in the roll of duct tape.
- Jessie pulling on Woody's string...only for it to snap, and for Woody to be sent flying and crashing off screen. The entire "film crew" cracks up laughing.
Jessie: Can that...Can that be part of the movie now? He lost...He lost his string. (breaks down laughing)
- "*BURP* Whoo! I don't remember eating that!"
- Slinky's bottom half being implied to be a sentient being, with Slinky congratulating it after the cameras stop rolling.
- "Look, Barbie! An big ugly man doll! Oooh he needs a makeover!"
- "I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes, and your ANGRY eyes, just in case!"
- The homage to Jurassic Park with the shot of Rex in the rearview mirror.
- Andy's Buzz meeting another Buzz Lightyear at Al's Toy Barn: "Tell me I wasn't this deluded!"
- Moments earlier: "Am I really that fat?"
- Justified when you hear the DVD commentary and all the creators are laughing hysterically at that line.
- EVERYTHING the deluded Buzz they meet in Al's Toy Barn says and does:
- Calling Hamm "Slotted pig" and Potato Head "Vegetable Man"
- Telling everyone to join hands as he tries to fly out of Al's car.
- Don't forget Buzz 'explaining' what's going on to the deluded Buzz!
Deluded Buzz: Will someone please explain what's going on?!
Buzz: It's alright Space Ranger. It's a code 546.
Deluded Buzz: You mean it's a...
Deluded Buzz: (gestures to Woody) And he's a...
Buzz: Oh yeah.
Deluded Buzz: (runs over to Woody and kneels before before him) Your Majesty!
- Freaking out exactly the same way original Buzz did when his helmet was open in the first movie and Woody and the others having the same reaction as Woody in the first.
- "Buzz!" "Yes?" "Yes?"
- When both the Buzzes meet and Woody asks what's going on, but instead of answering him the deluded Buzz just tosses him over his shoulder.
- Woody's reaction to Al's belch.
- Hamm (reading the owners manual for the Pizza Planet truck) "Oh, I seriously doubt he's getting this kind of mileage.."
- This exchange.
Buzz: Don't worry, Woody. In just a few hours you'll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious hot schmoes!
Woody: . . . (perfect deadpan) They're called smores, Buzz. -__-
- The look on Buzz's face right after he says "...delicious hot schmoes!" makes it even funnier.
- Just to let you know, "schmo" is Yiddish for "idiot." Even better, it's an alteration of "schmuck", which literally means Biggus Dickus
- Mr. Potato Head trying to unlock the door, only for Utility Buzz to accidentally launch him in the air, followed by a genuine scream and Hamm's classy "Haha!".
- Rex, barging in, busting everything in his path during an important scene to ask...
Rex: How do you spell FBI?
Potato Head: My crime scene!
Hamm: Hey, why don't you watch where you're going, Godspilla?
Rex: I didn't know there was a crime scene.
- Buzz getting to know Jessie at the end. Somewhere between his trying to talk to her and then her exact usage of his stunt involving a toy car and the loop-de-loop. The wings probably didn't help, either.
- Woody doing tricks with Buster, and when Andy comes in...
Andy: (pointing finger guns at Buster) Stick 'em up!
(Buster scratches his ear and leaves the room)
Andy: Eh, we'll work on it later.
- From the "Woody's Round-Up" show:
Rabbit: *rabbit noises*
- Toy!Stinky Pete has a solemn, Tranquil Fury air to him; in stark contrast, Puppet!Stinky Pete is a rambunctious Yosemite Sam-type character. Watch as he comes up in the theme song; you can see Toy!Stinky doing a Face Palm.
Puppet!Stinky Pete: Has anyone seen my pick? (Pick is in his rear)
- Buzz and the gang are in Al's Toy Barn, where they stumble upon Tour Guide Barbie. Mr Potato Head immediately begins chanting that he is a "married spud", while Hamm tells him to step aside for the single fellas.
- When the toys enter the huge baggage claim area, Potato Head's compartment flies open.
- When the toys are headed to rescue Woody, they pause and Buzz decides to check that everyone is still together:
Buzz Lightyear: How about a quick roll call? Everybody here?
Mr. Potato Head: Not everybody.
Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind?
Slinky Dog: Mine...
(Slinky Dog's back half catches up with the group)
- When the toys manage to find Al's Toy Barn, the start cheering...until they see cars pass by and a truck crush a soda can.
- "I might not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is."
- "I despise that chicken."
- Al's commute.
Al: I can't believe I have to drive all the way to work on a Saturday. ALL THE WAY TO WORK. [Drives across the street.]
- During the toy check:
Buzz: Troikas, check! [Rest of troikas pop out.]] Check, check, check, check!
- During the final Woody's Roundup episode:
: You're fanning the flame, Jessie! It takes brains to put out that fire! [sits on the lit fuse then starts jumping up and down in pain]
Yow! My biscuits are burning!
- Jessie and Woody goofing around, pretending to do the show, complete with Bad Bad Acting, Ham and Cheese and a generous amount of Corpsing.
(Woody comes out of a cardboard box like saloon doors, stands around a bit looking cocky, then swaggers over to Jessie, who's trying really hard not to break
Woody: Say, lil' lady, you notice any... trouble around these parts?
Jessie: Nary a bit! Not with Sherif Woody around!
- "And did Woody give up when you guys threw him out of the back of a moving van?" "Oh, you had to bring that up."
- The Al's Toy Barn ad. It's just so fast paced, you can't help but laugh.
- Don't forget the ad at the end.
Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck! (starts crying hysterically)
- Buzz using the exact same words Woody used on him to snap him out.
- Before deluded Buzz puts the real Buzz into a box, he slams him into a pin art toy, his facial expression and the position he's in, along with the music stopping while Buzz is cut off mid sentence cements this in.
Buzz: Listen to me, listen to me—*Slammed into pin art*