Funny / Toy Story 2

"Darn it, Woody!"

Moment pages are Spoilers Off per site policy. You Have Been Warned.

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• The opening video game scene where Buzz confronts Zurg is played up as an epic battle, but just as Buzz flips over Zurg and prepares his laser, the evil emperor whirls around and completely obliterates his torso with one shot. The legs collapsing afterward really seals it.
• This exchange:
  Buzz: Don't worry, Woody. In just a few hours you'll be sitting around a campfire with Andy making delicious hot schmoes!
  Woody: ...[perfect deadpan] They're called s'mores, Buzz.
  • The look on Buzz's face right after he says "...delicious hot schmoes!" makes it even funnier.
• The Al's Toy Barn ad and the toys' reaction to it the first time. It's just so fast-paced you can't help but laugh. Moreso in certain languages such as Spanish, in which they are even faster.
  • There's also a shot of an incredibly surly-looking teddy bear amidst the rapid-fire slideshow of toys.
  • The ad at the end. Not only was it hilariously nonsensical to re-record a pre-existing clip (as seen at the beginning of the film), but Al and/or the producers were content to air his unscripted emotional meltdown on TV.
    Al: [disheveled] Welcome to Al's Toy Barn. We've got the lowest prices in town. Everything for a buck-buck-buck...! [starts crying hysterically]
    Hamm: Well, I guess crime doesn't pay.
• Woody doing tricks with a perfectly obedient Buster, and when Andy comes in...
  Andy: [pointing finger guns at Buster] Stick 'em up!
  [Buster scratches his ear and leaves the room]
  Andy: I guess we'll work on it later.
• During the toy check:
  Buzz: Troikas, check! [rest of troikas pop out] Check, check, check, check!
• Woody trying to whistle for Buster to save Wheezy from the Yard Sale.
  Woody: Wheezy! Think, Woody. Think, think, think. Ooh! [attempts to whistle, but instead blows a raspberry; sputters then uses his broken arm to whistle in it instead and succeeds]
• When Buster helps Woody get downstairs, Woody tells him to "act casual". Cue the dog sauntering out incredibly conspicuously in his attempts to appear casual. Cue Woody saying "Not THAT casual!" and the panting Buster getting an Oh, Crap! look on his face.
• It's minor, but when Al tries to buy Woody from the yard sale, he keeps increasing his offers. When he calls out $50, we get this gem from Potato Head;
  Mr. Potato Head: Fifty bucks ain't bad. [Hamm nods in agreement]
  • Al soon gets desperate.
    Andy's mom: It's not for sale.
    Al: Everything's for sale! Or trade! You like my watch?
• Rex, barging in, busting everything in his path during an important scene to ask...
  Rex: How do you spell "FBI"?
  Potato Head: My crime scene!
  Hamm: Hey, why don't you watch where you're going, "Godspilla"?
  Rex: I didn't know there was a crime scene.
• Buzz trying to use Mr. Spell to figure out what the license plate on the back of Al's car (LZTYBRN) meant. Before he figures it out as "Al's Toy Barn", the potential meanings he types in are all hilariously far from what it actually means — "Lazy toy brain", "Lousy try Brian", "Liz try bran" and "Lou's thigh burn".
• Two for one immediately thereafter: When Buzz figures out that it's an anagram for "Al's Toy Barn," he demands that the Etch-a-Sketch "Draw that man^*Big Al, who is already on Etch's display. in a chicken suit" with the full seriousness of a trained soldier, and Etch does so in less than a second with no hesitation.
  • Etch's sketch of Al is hilarious by default simply due to them keeping the pose of him holding Woody as they redraw him, resulting in the sight of a toy thief in a chicken suit as if he was wearing the damn thing when he stole Woody.
  • The very next scene has him arguing with someone on the phone while wearing his actual chicken suit.
• Al's commute:
  Al: I can't believe I have to drive all the way to work on a Saturday. ALL THE WAY TO WORK. [drives across the street]
  • The commute itself has many blink-and-you'll-miss-it moments that sum up Al: he crosses a one-way street, going just barely the wrong way to get into the parking lot, nearly hits a car the moment he leaves the driveway—and just to rub it in, he double-parks. He's even still wearing his chicken suit, for some reason.
• The scene when Jessie and Woody meet. She's all over him in seconds, and is so loud and hyperactive that it spooks Woody.
  Woody: Okay. I'm officially freaked out now.
  • Then she and Bullseye bring Stinky Pete over so he can meet Woody, too...but his box is facing the wrong way.
    Woody: [bemused] It—It's a box...
• Toy Stinky Pete has a solemn, Tranquil Fury air to him; in stark contrast, Puppet Stinky Pete is a rambunctious Yosemite Sam-type character. Watch as he comes up in the theme song; you can see Toy Stinky doing a Face Palm.
  Puppet Stinky Pete: Has anyone seen my pick? [pick is in his rear]
• "I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes, just in case!"
  • Which sets up this amazing Brick Joke: "Prepare to meet - MR. ANGRY EYES!"^note He pulls out his extra shoes instead, puts them on his face without realizing his mistake, and proceeds to run straight into a wall.
    • Made even better with Jessie having a brilliant "wtf?" expression that is the cherry on top.
• This exchange:
  Bo Peep: This is for Woody when you find him. (kisses Buzz on the cheek)
  Buzz: Well, I, uh...Well, I...don't think it'll mean the same coming from me.
• Rex flailing on Slinky's rear end.
  Slinky: The idea is to let go.
• From the Woody's Round-Up show:
  Rabbit: [rabbit noises]
  Woody: What's that? Jessie and Prospector are trapped in the old abandoned mine and Prospector just lit a stick of dynamite thinking it was a candle and now they're about to be blown to smithereens?
  Rabbit: ...Uh huh.
• During the final Woody's Roundup episode:
  Puppet Stinky Pete: You're fanning the flame, Jessie! It takes brains to put out that fire! [sits on the lit fuse, then jumps up and down in pain] Yow! My biscuits are burning!
• When Al accidentally causes Woody's arm to completely fall off, Woody doesn't even blink. The moment Al leaves the room, Woody starts freaking out almost immediately.
  • And following it...
  Stinky Pete: Let me see it. Oh, it's just a popped seam. Easily repaired. You should consider yourself lucky.
  Woody: LUCKY!? Are you shrink-wrapped!? I AM MISSING MY ARM!
• During the journey, Hamm trips and spills his coins. He reacts like somebody who lost their pants.
  Hamm: Alright! Nobody look until I get my cork back in!
• "And did Woody give up when you guys threw him out of the back of that moving van?".
  • "Oh, you had to bring that up!"
  • During Buzz's subsequent speech, the background fades into an American flag as the national anthem plays^note At least, in the original version; the international version changes it to a spinning globe with fireworks, as if to emphasize how patriotic it is. And then it transitions into the end of a broadcast on Al's TV.
• Woody's reaction to Al's belch.
• When the toys are headed to rescue Woody, they pause, and Buzz decides to check that everyone is still together:
  Buzz Lightyear: Is everyone present and accounted for?
  Mr. Potato Head: Not quite everyone.
  Buzz Lightyear: Who's behind?
  Slinky Dog: Mine... [Slinky's back half catches up with the group]
• When the toys manage to find Al's Toy Barn, they start cheering... until they see cars pass by and a truck crush a soda can.
  Rex: Oh well, we tried.
  • "I might not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is."
• The toys cross the street underneath traffic cones, oblivious to all the car accidents they're causing.
  Mr. Potato Head: Well, that went well!
  [cut to an overhead shot of a traffic jam that the toys unwittingly caused, complete with a light pole being knocked over by a loose cement pipe]
  • Dramatic Irony at its finest: after crossing the street, Buzz says they're that much closer to Woody... as the camera focuses on Al's apartment building, where Woody ACTUALLY is: back on the other side of the street.
• While exploring Al's Toy Barn, Rex finds a player's guide for the Buzz Lightyear video game. As Rex yammers on and on, Mr. Potato Head takes his ears off and shakes them out, clearly fed up with listening to this nonsense.
  • Rex then complains that the game seems designed so players can't win unless they buy a guide. "It's extortion, that's what it is!"
• Andy's Buzz meeting another Buzz Lightyear at Al's Toy Barn, an in-universe example of meeting your Early Installment Weirdness.
  Buzz: Tell me I wasn't this deluded...
  New Buzz: No backtalk! I have a laser, and I will use it!
  Buzz: You mean the laser that's a lightbulb? (Triggers the laser)
  New Buzz: (Gasps and jumps back) Has your mind been melted? You could've killed me, Space Ranger! Or should I say...TRAITOR!? (Points the laser at Buzz's forehead)
  Buzz: (Completely unfazed and through with this conversation) I don't have time for this.
  • Moments earlier: "Am I really that fat?"
    • Justified when you hear the DVD commentary and all the creators are laughing hysterically at that line.
• Buzz and the gang are in Al's Toy Barn, where they stumble upon Tour Guide Barbie. Mr. Potato Head immediately begins chanting that he is a "married spud", and Hamm tells him to step aside for the single fellas.
• The homage to Jurassic Park with the shot of Rex in the rearview mirror.
  Rex: Hey, wait up! Hey! Come on! Slow down! Dinosaur overbo-o-a-ard!
• EVERYTHING Utility Belt Buzz says and does:
  • During the initial scuffle between the two Buzzes, Utility Belt Buzz subdues normal Buzz by ramming him into a pin art toy, leading to a hilarious Impact Silhouette of Buzz, directly reminiscent of Han Solo when he gets frozen in carbonite! His facial expression, his position, and the music stopping while Buzz is cut off mid-sentence cements this in.
    Buzz: Listen to me, listen to me— [Slammed into pin art]
  • The fact that Utility Belt Buzz is only convinced to join Andy's toys when Rex off-handedly mentions that he "knows how to defeat Zurg" even though Rex is talking about the Buzz Lightyear video game guidebook he lost, thus leading the toys to unknowingly abandon Andy's Buzz who is stuck in the spare action figure box, unable to be heard as the toys drive off without him!
    Buzz: No, no! Guys! You've got the wrong Buzz! YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG BUZZ!!
  • Calling Hamm "Slotted Pig" and Potato Head "Vegetable Man".
  • Telling everyone to join hands as he tries to fly out of Al's car.
  • Don't forget Andy's Buzz "explaining" what's going on to him!
    Utility Belt Buzz: Will someone please explain what's going on?!
    Buzz: It's alright, Space Ranger. [whispering] It's a Code 546.
    Utility Belt Buzz: You mean it's a...
    Buzz: Yes.
    Utility Belt Buzz: [gestures to Woody] And he's a...
    Buzz: Oh yeah.
    Utility Belt Buzz: *GASP* [runs over to Woody and kneels before him] Your Majesty!
  • Freaking out exactly the same way the original Buzz did when his helmet was opened in the first movie, and Woody and the others having the same reaction as Woody in the first. It's a good way to tell them apart, apparently.
  • "Buzz!" "Yes?" "Yes?"
  • When both the Buzzes meet and Woody asks what's going on, but instead of answering him, Utility Belt Buzz just tosses him over his shoulder.
• Woody taunting Jessie after his arm is repaired. Her Death Glare as he’s doing it makes it even funnier.
  Woody: Oh, wow! Will you look at me? It's like I'm fresh out of the box! Look at this stitching! Andy's gonna have a hard time ripping this! [walks up to Jessie, who is glaring at him and waves to her] Hello! H-hi! Hello!
  Jessie: Great. Now you can go.
• Buzz trying to catch up to Al as he leaves the store. At the tail end, he makes his dramatic leap toward the automatic doors... and they have already shut by the time he reaches them. Splat.
  • Even better is what immediately follows: after Buzz desperately tries triggering the doors on his own, he resigns himself to defeat as Al drives away... and this is how Buzz learns Al lives in the apartment building across the street. Cue Buzz knocking over a stack of toys to trigger the door.
• Zurg's awakening is played very dramatically (well, as dramatically as can be played with a plastic toy), and we get a look at exactly what he sees through a feature of the toy, so we know he's going after Buzz now since that's what his character does. He starts shouting/chanting, "Destroy Buzz Lightyear! Destroy Buzz Lightyear!" And then it turns funny when we get an aerial shot of the lot showing how small they all really are, and (moving on wheels) Zurg's pursuit of him is just a little bit loopy and lopsided.
• Mr. Potato Head trying to unlock the door of Al's car, only for Utility Belt Buzz to accidentally launch him in the air, followed by a scream and Hamm's classy "Ha ha ha!".
• Upon finding the elevator that can take them up to Al's apartment, Utility Belt Buzz whips out from his belt his wall-climbing magnetic cups before giving the other toys the other end of his climbing rope to hold on to as he ascends up the shaft wall...
  Hamm: Uh, Buzz, why not just take the elevator?
  Utility Belt Buzz: They'll be expecting that!
• Halfway up the elevator shaft, some of Hamm's coins fall out from his slot, hitting Slinky and Potato Head.
  Hamm: Uh oh. Hey! Heads up down there!
  Coins hit Slinky
  Slinky: Whoa! Pork bellies are falling!
  ''Coins cover Potato Head's eyes
  Potato Head: Hey!
• When the toys all lose their grip and start dragging Utility Belt Buzz back down:
  Utility Belt Buzz: [straining] Too... heavy... Oh! What was I thinking? My anti-gravity servos. [presses button to activate anti-grav, unaware he's just a toy, while the sound of the elevator rising starts up in the background] Hang tight, everyone! I'm going to let go of the wall.
  [the other toys all look up at him in shock]
  Slinky Dog: Huh?
  Rex: What?
  Mr. Potato Head: He wouldn't!
  Utility Belt Buzz: One...
  Hamm: He would.
  Utility Belt Buzz: Two...
  Slinky Dog: NO-NO-NO BUZZ DON'T DO IT!
  Rex: DON'T DO IT DON'T DO IT PLEASE!!!
  Hamm: NO!! DON'T, BUZZ!! LET'S THINK ABOUT THIS-
  Utility Belt Buzz: THREE! [lets go of the wall and they all fall and land on the elevator, which is coming up the shaft] To infinity and beyond! Approaching destination. Reengaging gravity. [turns off belt as they reach the top floor, then gets off the elevator into the vent] Area secure.
  Slinky Dog/Rex/Mr. Potato Head/Hamm: [all moaning]
  Utility Belt Buzz: It's okay, troops. The anti-gravity sickness will wear off momentarily. Now, let's move! [runs off]
  Mr. Potato Head: Remind me to glue his helmet shut when we get back.
• Mixed with Heartwarming, but Jessie and Woody goofing around, pretending to make an improv episode of Woody's Roundup, complete with Bad "Bad Acting", Ham and Cheese, and a generous amount of Corpsing.
  [Woody comes out of a cardboard box like saloon doors, stands around a bit looking cocky, then swaggers over to Jessie, who's trying really hard not to break]
  Woody: Say, lil' missy, you notice any... trouble around these parts?
  Jessie: Nary a bit! Not with Sheriff Woody around!
  Woody: [breaks and starts jumping in place like a hyper child] Waitwaitwait, I got it, I got it, this is great! Okay! The bandits got the critters tied up in the burning barn, now for the best part! [runs back to the box and mimics a voice from inside] Help us! The barn's on fire! [as himself] I've gotcha, critters, [disappears back inside the box] no need to worry. [bursts out holding a handful of packing peanuts] Woody saves the day again!
• The other toys arrive as Woody's playing with the others, and from their vantage point of the air vent come to the conclusion Woody's being tortured. Leading to...
  Rex: What are we gonna do?
  Utility Belt Buzz: Use Your Head.
  (cut to them using Rex like a battering ram)
  Rex: BUT I DON'T WANNA USE MY HEAD!
  Toys: RAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
  Rex: AAAUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!
• Buzz using the exact same words Woody used on him to snap him out.
• Al quickly goes over a checklist of things he needs before leaving for the airport. When he gets to "shower," he smells his arm and decides to skip the shower.
• "No, Buzz — I...am your father!"
  • What makes this actually funny is the Big "NO!" reaction from Utility Belt Buzz is obviously overly dramatic (much likely intentional for Rule of Funny), especially if compared to Luke Skywalker's reaction in The Empire Strikes Back.
  • Meanwhile, none of Andy's toys except Rex bother to pay attention to or take the battle between Zurg and Utility Belt Buzz seriously.
  • While Utility Belt Buzz and Rex are startled by Zurg's appearance, the original Buzz simply looks confused.
    • "Watch out! He's got an ion blaster!" And Zurg starts shooting little rubber balls at them with comically non-threatening popping sounds.
  • And later:
    Buzz: Buzz, are you coming?
    Utility Belt Buzz: No, I— I've got a lot of catching up to do with my dad!
    [doink]
    Zurg: "Good throw, son! That's my boy! Go long, Buzzy!"
    Utility Belt Buzz: Oh, you're a great dad! Yippee!
    Buzz: [flashes Vulcan salute] Farewell.
  • If you look closely, one light that makes up Zurg's mouth no longer lights as he speaks, giving the impression of a knocked-out tooth.
• Rex accidentally knocking Zurg off the elevator into a seemingly Disney Villain Death in Slow Motion:
  Rex: [astonished] I did it! I finally defeated Zurg!
  Utility Belt Buzz: [reaches sadly into the chasm] Father...!
• Hamm reading the owner's manual for the Pizza Planet truck: "Oh, I seriously doubt he's getting this kind of mileage."
• For that matter, the entire Dinky Drivers sequence with the truck is delightfully hectic (probably because they handle it almost exactly the same as the delivery guy in the first film), from their cut up and across a curb as they first take off to parking on one once they reach the airport.
  Rex: Guys, we can't park here. It's a white zone!
  • For that matter, the very instant they get into the truck and Buzz takes the wheel, he instantly hears a very familiar exclamation and looks up.
    Aliens: Ooooooh!
    Alien #1: A stranger!
    Alien #2: From the outside!
    Buzz: [groaning] Oh no...
• "You have saved our lives! We are eternally grateful!"
  • "Will you just leave me alone?!"
    Mrs. Potato Head: You saved their lives? My hero! And they're so adorable... let's adopt them!
    Aliens: Daddy...
    Mr. Potato Head: Oh, no…
• When the toys enter the huge baggage claim area, Potato Head's compartment flies open.
• In a line that probably sounds even funnier out of context, during the conveyor chase, Slinky's back half gets caught on a luggage handle, yanking him away onto another belt:
  Slinky: Buzz! My back end's going to Baton Rouge! [pulled away] Waaaaaooohhh!
• Stinky Pete's over-the-top Big "NO!" reaction to being trapped in a little girl's Barbie backpack.
• "Look, Barbie! A big ugly man doll! Oooh, he needs a makeover!"
  • "Hi. You'll like Amy. She's an artist!"
• Buzz getting to know Jessie at the end. Somewhere between his trying to talk to her and then her exact usage of his stunt involving a toy car and the loop-de-loop. The wings probably didn't help, either.
• The Outtakes. ALL OF THEM.
  • BUT I DON'T WANNA USE MY HEAD! *CLANG* ...Ow.
  • The ridiculously long list of items Mrs. Potato Head tells Mr. Potato Head to bring with him:
    Mrs. Potato Head: And monkey chow!
    Mr. Potato Head: Monkey chow? For what?
    Mrs. Potato Head: Well, for the monkeys, of course! Come on, monkeys! [monkeys swarm all over Mr. Potato Head]
    Mr. Potato Head: That's it! I draw the line at monkeys! Get my agent on the phone!
  • The various pranks Woody plays on Buzz during the outtakes. Such as the old "ink on the binoculars' rims" trick. Buzz takes the pranks in stride at first, but quickly gets annoyed, making the whole thing even funnier.
    • "THIS SPACE FOR RENT."
    • "DARN IT, WOODY!"
  • What starts off Woody's pranks is the scene where Buzz is walking through the entire aisle of Buzz Lightyear toys... with Woody in one of the boxes, making the silliest expression ever at him. Even Buzz can't resist laughing.
  • In the pre-2019 versions of the blooper reel, one of the bloopers has Woody turn Stinky Pete's box around to reveal... he's talking to twin Barbies.
    • The fact that he looks at their asses as they walk out just makes this even funnier:
      Stinky Pete: So you two are absolutely identical? You know, I could probably get you a part in Toy Story 3... [realizing they're filming] Oh, I'm sorry, are we back? Well girls, lovely talking with you! Yes, any time you'd like some tips on acting, I'd be glad to chat with you. Now off you go!
  • Woody getting his butt stuck in the roll of duct tape.
  • Jessie pulling on Woody's string... only for it to snap, and for Woody to be sent flying and crashing off screen. The entire "film crew" cracks up laughing.
    Jessie: Hey, should we just... Should that just be part of the movie now? He lo— He lost his string! [breaks down laughing]
  • A shot of the Buzz Lightyear aisle gets halted by one Buzz burping loudly and commenting "Whoo! I don't remember eating that!" While the other Buzzes complain about him ruining the take (for the fifth time, apparently), he apologizes for the bean burrito he had for lunch. The Buzz directly on top of him waves his hand from the stench.
  • Slinky's bottom half being implied to be a sentient being, with Slinky congratulating it after the cameras stop rolling.
  • Stinky Pete getting gassy while trying to convince Woody to stay:
    Stinky Pete: Good heavens! Was that me? Oh... oh, my! [farts again] I am so sorry. I guess that's why they call me Stinky Pete! Whoo-hoo!
• The DVD and Blu-Ray releases contain a bonus video simply titled "Jessie's Gag" (accessible via an Easter Egg on the DVD release and the main menu of the Blu-Ray in the "Toy Box" section of the "Classic DVD Bonus Features"). The "When She Loved Me" segment would have ended much more humorously if Emily suddenly forgot how to drive!
• At the end of this McDonald's Happy Meal commercial promoting the film, the toy soldiers report to the main gang about them appearing as Happy Meal toys, Sarge tells Potato Head he's there too. Thinking they were talking about French fries, he faints, breaking into pieces.
  Woody: What's with him?
• Another McDonald's commercial has several particularly humorous moments; When Buzz uses a straw as a periscope, he says the toys have landed on the planet s'dlanoDcM, then the toys sneak out of Andy's backpack, using McDonald's cups and wrappers to disguise themselves and avoid being spotted by the humans, in a nod to a similar scene from the original movie. Rex is left with only a barbecue sauce packet. At the end of the commercial, when Woody sees a cardboard cut-out of Buzz, he says, "Great. As if your head isn't big enough already!"
• One of the earliest trailers has this exchange when Woody learns Buzz is in the movie too:
  Woody: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop the film! Is he in this, too?
  Buzz: Excuse me, pull-string boy. What would Toy Story 2 be without Buzz Lightyear?
  Woody: A good movie.
  • Also in the trailer, when the aliens see the Claw bringing down the movie's title, one of them goes out of character:
  Alien: [excitedly, towards the audience] It is coming. It-IT'S COMING!

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