- Buzz earnestly explains to Woody his role in saving Earth, basically as R2-D2 in A New Hope. His voice and the music build dramatically, then. Watch!
Buzz: According to my navicomputer—
Woody: Shut up! Just shut up, you idiot!
Buzz: Sheriff, this is no time to panic.
Woody: This is the perfect time to panic! I'm lost, Andy is gone, they're gonna move from their house in two days and it's all your fault!
Buzz: My fa— My fault?! If you hadn't pushed me out the window in the first place—
Woody: Oooaugh yeah!? Well, if you, hadn't shown up in your stupid little cardboard spaceship and taken away everything that was important to me...
Buzz: Don't talk to me about importance! Because of you, the security of the entire universe is in jeopardy!
Woody: WHAT?! What are you talking about?!
Buzz: [glances up at the moon] Right now, poised at the edge of the galaxy, Emperor Zurg has been secretly building a weapon with the destructive capacity to annihilate an entire planet. I alone have information that reveal his weapon's only weaknesses. [turns back to Woody, who is reacting as one would expect] And you, my friend, are responsible for delaying my rendezvous with Star Command!
[beat, and cue the Chirping Crickets as the backsound]
Woody: [losing it] You! Are! A! TOOOOOOOY! You're not the real Buzz Lightyear, you... you're an action figure! You are a child's plaything!
Buzz: You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity. Farewell. [flashes a Vulcan salute]
Woody: Oh yeah? Well, good riddance, ya looney!
- Double-funny for doing the Vulcan salute along with "Farewell".
- Made even funnier by Woody maintaining a look throughout Buzz's story that just screams "Are you listening to the shit you're saying?!" until he finally snaps.
- When Toy Story 3 was knocked off of its 100% Rotten Tomatoes review level by two contrinarians who gave bad reviews because they wanted to be contrary, the director responded by tweeting, "You are sad, strange little men, and you have my pity."
- "Don't you get it?! You see the hat?! I am Mrs. Nesbitt!" Somehow, Woody matter-of-factly smacking Buzz to his senses with his own dismembered arm makes it even funnier. Watch!
- Then there's the squeaky noise Buzz's head makes...
- Buzz, looking all calm, says Woody's right and walks off to get it together, then:
Buzz: Oh, I'm a sham! Look at me, I can't even fly out of a window! But the hat looked good? Tell me the hat looked good. The apron was a bit much... Years of academy training, wasted!
- Though it's also a bit sad since it shows how awful his Heroic B.S.O.D. is, it's hard not to start laughing when Woody turns to look for Buzz and finds him swinging his own arm through the air making airplane noises, then crashing it into the ground.
- "Look! I'm Woody! Howdy, howdy, howdy!"
- "Okay, Mr. LightBeer, prove it!"
- A few minutes later in the film, Woody calls him "LightSnack".
- Look at Mr. Potato Head and Mr. Spell during Woody's speech in the beginning.
- Every other line of Mr. Potato Head's. "Did you all take stupid pills this morning?"
Rex (panicked): "Any dinosaur-shaped [toys]?!"Hamm: "Oh for crying out loud, they're all in boxes, you idiot!"
- Ditto for Hamm.
- Mr. Potato Head and Hamm play Battleship, especially when you notice Potato has called every spot on Hamm's grid except the ones where his ships are.
- And Hamm has done exactly the opposite, having not missed once. Considering that out of the 100 squares on a typical Battleship grid, 17 of them will be occupied by ships and 83 aren't, it's anyone's guess how they managed that.
- Even better, they're playing STRIP Battleship. Although how Hamm's supposed to strip would be Fridge Logic if he ever lost...
- Well, there's his cork...
- Woody miming friendship with Buzz's arm.
Woody: Buzz, could you get over here and give me a hand?
- And before that:
Buzz: [throws his arm at Woody]
Woody: Aha... that's very funny, Buzz THISISSERIOUS!
- Then when he's trying to keep it up with the other toys across the way:
Mr. Potato Head: Wait just a minute, what are you trying to pull?!
Woody: Nothing! [accidentally shows Buzz's disconnected arm, the other toys scream in terror]
- "I don't believe that man's ever been to medical school."
- Woody laughing at Buzz's delusions.
Woody: Hey guys, look, it's the real Buzz Lightyear!Buzz: You're mocking me, aren't you?Woody: Oh, no no... BUZZ LOOK AN ALIEN!!!Buzz: Where?! [Woody laughs hysterically]
- Buzz's complete freakout when his helmet is open, coupled with Woody's reaction.
- This exchange:
Buzz: I believe the word you're searching for is "Space Ranger".
Woody: The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there's preschool toys present.
- In Toy Story Treats, "Roadblock." It's just such a horrible joke, and Woody makes such a stupid face...
- Rex's response when Slinky asks him if he believes Woody is innocent:
Rex: I don't like confrontations!
- Even Lasseter and co. agree this is Rex's funniest line on the DVD commentary.
- During Woody's encouragement to snap Buzz out of his depression after the realization he's not a space ranger...
Woody: Your helmet does that—that WOOSH thing!
- This exchange right at the beginning of the movie:
Mr. Potato Head: [is turned away from the camera] Hey, Hamm, look! [turns around, revealing that he has rearranged his face] I'm Potasso!
Hamm: I don't get it. [walks away]
Mr. Potato Head: [at Hamm] You uncultured swine!
- "What are you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?" Camera turns to... a hockey puck, with arms and legs, which shrugs in a "What?" fashion.
- The scene where Buzz and Woody stow away on the Pizza Planet truck.
- When Woody grabs Buzz and repeatedly pushes a button that makes his arm go up and down.
Woody: Use your karate chop action!
Buzz: Hey, hey, how are you doing that!?
- "Great, so if anyone attacks us we can blink 'em to death."
- Buzz explains to Woody that revenge is something that isn't encouraged on his planet... then clarifies that they're not on his planet, to which Woody responds with an Oh Crap! face and saying Little "No".
- And it's right after Woody was happy to see Buzz is alright and is confident that Buzz will tell the other toys it was a freak accident.
- When the toys are finding out what Andy got for his birthday.
Green Army Soldier: Okay, it's bedsheets.Mr. Potato Head: Who invited THAT kid?
- Sid sleep-talking: "I wanna ride the pony."
- Woody tries to get Buzz to follow him back to Andy's by convincing him that he's found a "spaceship" to take him home:
Woody: It's a special spaceship! I just saw it!
Buzz: [excited] You mean it has hyperdrive?
Woody: Hyperactive hyperdrive! And astro... uh... turf!
- Buzz tries to get a look at Sid from Andy's window.
Buzz: Sure is a hairy looking fella.
Woody: No no, that's Scud, you idiot!
- The DVD Commentary can be pretty funny at points. Highlights include them poking fun at Buzz continuing to push the crate off the table even after he's fully stretched out, and pointing out that Buzz runs like an athlete while Woody runs like a wimp.
- Can we just take the time to remember Buzz dropping a Binford toolbox on Woody?
- The toys have a My God, What Have I Done? moment after they throw Woody off the moving truck but Rex takes it a step further.
Rex: Great! Now I have guilt.