Funny / Teen Wolf

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     Season 1 
  • Wolf Moon:
    • Never forget that the very first words of the show were:
    Scott: Stiles, what the HELL are you doing?!
    Stiles (who btw, is hanging upside-down from a lower part of roof on Scott's house): You weren't answering your phone! Why do you have a bat?!
    Scott: I thought you were a predator!
    • Scott and Stiles go back in the woods to look for Scott's inhaler:
    Scott: No, I could have sworn this was it. I saw the body, the deer came running. I dropped my inhaler.
    Stiles: Maybe the killer moved the body?
    Scott: If he did, I hope he left my inhaler. Those things are like, 80 bucks!
    • Jackson's initial assumption that Scott's new found athletic abilities are due to steroids leads to this iconic scene:
    Jackson: Where. Are you. Getting. Your juice?
    • Scott and his Mom talking before the party. Scott is getting ready, and he gets the car keys:
    Mrs. McCall: Is this a party, or a date?
    Scott: Maybe both.
    Mrs. McCall: And her name is?
    Scott: Allison.
    Mrs.McCall (smiles): Allison. Nice. (hands Scott the car keys)
    Scott: Thank you!
    Mrs. McCall: We don't need to have a talk, do we?
    Scott (exasperated): Mom, I'm not having the safe sex talk with you!
    Scott: Are you serious?!
  • Second Chance at First Line:
    • Scott and his Mom:
    Mrs. McCall: It's not like you're on drugs, right?
    Scott: ...Right now?
    Mrs. McCall: Right now? I'm sorry, what do you mean, 'right now?' I mean, have you ever taken drugs?
    Scott: Have you?
    Mrs. McCall: ...Get some sleep.
    • Scott trying to get out of the game:
    Scott: I'm having some... personal issues.
    Coach: Is it a girl?
    Scott: No.
    Coach: Is it a guy? You know, our goalie Danny's gay.
    Scott: Yeah, I know, Coach. But that's not it.
    Coach: You don't think Danny's a good-looking guy?
    Scott: I think he's good looking. But I like girls! And that's not it, anyway!
    Coach: What? Is it drugs? Are you doing meth? 'Cause I had a brother that was addicted to meth. You should have seen what it did to his teeth. They were all cracked and rotted. It was - it was disgusting.
    Scott (disturbed): Oh - my god. What happened?
    • These two parts of Scott and Lydia's exchange in math class:
    Lydia: Jackson's gonna play tomorrow, but he's not gonna be at his peak. And I prefer my boyfriend... at peak performance.; and
    Lydia: Fine! Don't play! We'll probably win anyway. And we'll go out after like we're planning, and I'll introduce Allison to all the hot players on the team. And Scott McCall can stay home, surfing the net for porn.
    • Stiles and his Dad:
    Sheriff Stilinski: What the hell do you think you're doing?
    Stiles: I'm just trying to help.
    Sheriff Stilinski: Uh-huh. Ok, well, how about you "help" me understand exactly how you came across this.
    Stiles (sighs): We were looking for Scott's inhaler.
    Sheriff Stilinski: Which he dropped when?
    Stiles: The other night.
    Sheriff Stilinski: The other night when you were out here looking for the first half of the body?
    Stiles: Yes.
    Sheriff Stilinski: The night that you told me you were alone and Scott was at home?
    Stiles: Yes. No! Aw, crap.
    Sheriff Stilinski: So you lied to me?
    Stiles: That depends on how you define lying.
    Sheriff Stilinski: Well, I define it as not telling the truth. How do you define it?
    Sheriff Stilinski: Get the hell out of here.
    Stiles: Absolutely!
    • Stiles pretending to be busy reading a leaflet on the menstrual cycle at the hospital.
  • Pack Mentality:
    • Stiles, on what Scott did while changed.
    Stiles: Maybe you caught a rabbit or something.
    Scott: And did what?
    Stiles: Ate it.
    Scott (horrified): Raw?!
    Stiles: No, you stopped to bake it in a little werewolf oven.
    • Stiles on his status as a sidekick:
    Stiles: Why is it starting to feel like you're Batman and I'm Robin? I don't wanna be Robin all the time!
    Scott: Nobody's Batman and Robin ANY of the time!
    Stiles: Not even some of the time?
    • Scott and Stiles sit down at a table for lunch, and are soon joined by Lydia, Allison, Danny, Harley, and Brian. Then Jackson arrives and orders Brian to get up:
    Jackson: Get up.
    Brian: How come you never ask Danny to get up?
    Danny: Because I don't stare at his girlfriend's coinslot.
    Made even better that Lydia simply beams at Danny.
    • Scott talking big to Jackson:
    Scott: In fact, I'm a great bowler!
    (cue Gilligan Cut to the hallway)
    Stiles: You're a terrible bowler!
    • Allison's bowling advice.
    Allison: You're thinking too much. Just clear your mind, think about something else. Think about me... naked.
    • Which actually works, since it raises his heart rate, allowing his wolf senses to kick in.
    • And later, during the bowling game:
    Allison: Maybe you should stop pretending to suck just for his benefit.
    Lydia: Trust me, I do plenty of sucking just for his benefit.
    and Allison's reaction.
    • Stiles and the McCall family baseball bat.
    • The bat even gets a callback in 3x10 when Stiles brings it to the hospital. Ms. McCall asks about it and it gets lampshaded on it's ineffectiveness (it breaks after 30 seconds).
      • Which gets another callback in 3x12, when Stiles uses an aluminum bat to prop up the support beam before it falls, and Sheriff says "I told you metal was better than wood."
      • by 3x14, the bat is apparently Stiles' weapon of choice. When Lydia complains about being left in the car during a rescue, Stiles' comment is "I only have one bat!"
  • Magic Bullet:
    • Stiles and Derek:
    Derek: Start the car, or I'm gonna rip your throat out. With my teeth.
    • Scott is having dinner with the Argents, and Chris, ever the Overprotective Dad, is testing Scott by asking him if he wants any alcohol:
    Chris: Can I get you some beer?
    Scott: No - No thanks...
    Chris: Shot of tequila?
    Allison: Dad! Really?
    • And a few minutes later, after Allison had been bragging to her Aunt Kate about Scott with Chris shooting it down, there's a tense moment. Then:
    Scott: You know... on second thought, um... I think I'll take that shot of tequila.
    • To put this one in better context, Scott had gone to the Argents not only to study with Allison, but to find a bullet for Derek. (He does. After dinner he and Allison share a kiss goodnight. Right before he can escape, Kate stops him.) Kate accuses Scott of taking something from her bag. Scott denies this, Allison tries to defend Scott. Kate asks Scott to show them what's in his pockets. Tense music, you think that Scott is about to be in deep shit. And this is what happens:
    Allison: "Uh, I'll prove you wrong. It wasn't Scott going through your bags, it was me."
    Kate: "You?"
    Allison (nods): "Mmhmm. Me." Holds up a condom. The looks on everyone's faces are priceless.
    • Alison's is pretty much "What? I'm being responsible and using protection. Problem? Tough."; Chris' (her father) is cross of a Death Glare at Scott, "I'm gonNA KILL THIS BOY". and horrified, "No, not my babygirl!"; Scott is all but pissing himself in fear, "I am NOT having sex with your daughter!" and "Oh god, why can't this door open so I can escape?!" and Kate's is "Damn, Allison, that's my girl!"
  • The Tell:
    • Jackson and Lydia in Lydia's car outside the video store, "discussing" what movie to watch.
    Jackson: Hoosiers is not only the best basketball movie ever, it's the best sports movie ever made.
    Lydia: No.
    Jackson: It's got Gene Hackman and Dennis Hopper!
    Lydia: No.
    Jackson: Lydia, I swear to God you're gonna like it.
    Lydia: No.
    Jackson: I am not watching The Notebook again!
    (Gilligan Cut to Jackson inside the store)
    Jackson: Can somebody help me find The Notebook?
    • Stiles and Danny:
    Stiles: One more question.
    Danny: What?!
    Stiles: Do you find me attractive?
    (Beat, while Danny gets a Flat "What." look on his face)
    (Stiles leans forward waiting for an answer and falls out of his seat)
  • Heart Monitor:
    • Scott swearing up and down he'll not be distracted from his training:
    Scott: If you can teach me [to help defeat the alpha], I can stay away from her.
    (Gilligan Cut to Allison and Scott making out.)
    Derek: You've got to be kidding me.
    Scott: Was that okay? I mean, it was a howl, right?
    Stiles: ...yeah, technically.
    Scott: What did it sound like to you?
    Stiles: Like a cat being choked to death, Scott.
  • From "Lunatic":
    Mrs. McCall: (hears someone enter) Scott?
    Stiles: (comes through the front door) Stiles.
    Mrs. McCall: (notices something in his hand) Key.
    Stiles: Yeah, I, uh, had one made.
    • A quick one:
  • Most (If not all) of Derek and Stiles interaction in "Wolf's Bane".
    • Especially when Danny shows up.
    Danny: You're a horrible person.
    Stiles: I know, it keeps me up at night.
    • And in the car in front of the hospital.
    Derek: Oh, and one more thing. (slams Stiles' head into the steering wheel)
    Stiles: Oh, holy hell, what was that for?!
    Derek: You know what that was for, now go!
  • Co-Captain:
    Scott: Found this at school.
    (hands her her necklace, which he had stolen)
    Allison: (gasps) Oh my god! Thank you! I was starting to think it had been stolen!
    Scott: No, no, definitely not stolen, by anyone.
  • Formality:
    • When the sheriff pulls over Allison:
    Allison: I'm sorry I was going so fast...
    Sheriff Stilinski: You weren't going that fast. Just, uh, 75 in a 25, in a construction zone ...
    (later) Sheriff Stilinski definitely out of his depth : " I still have to write you a ticket ?"
    • Scott making sure Allison is safe in her room...then drifts off to sleep and falls off the roof. His tiny "ow" just sells it.
    • "I told them I'd sooner cut off my last remaining testicle than cut my best player!"
    • Jackson's crazed face when he asks Allison to the formal.
      • Made funnier by the fact that it's a Gilligan Cut. Jackson refuses to take Allison to the formal, Scott wolfs out and slams him into a door, cut to above.
    • Scott's quick thinking to get Coach Finstock off his neck at the dance: When the coach sees him there after having told him that he was not allowed to go, Scott quickly grabs Danny and dances with him, making the Coach's Angrish look like homophobia to the rest of the students. Finstock quickly backs off.
  • Code Breaker:
    • Peter's explanation about what will happen if Lydia turns:
    Stiles:"Once a month she'll go out of her freakin' mind and try to tear me apart."
    Peter:"Well actually, considering that she's a woman, twice a month."
    • The Alpha makes Stiles get into Scott's account.
    Alpha: His user name is 'Allison'? *Beat* His password is ALSO 'Allison'?
    Stiles: Still want him in your pack?
    • The expression on the Alpha's face afterwards should also count.

     Season 2 
  • Omega:
    • Scott, Stiles and Allison are looking for Lydia at Derek's House when Stiles notices a tripwire.
    Scott: (Hanging upside down) Stiles?
    Stiles: Yeah buddy? (Turns around) Oh.
    Scott: Next time you see a tripwire...don't trip it.
    Stiles: Noted.
    • Lydia's AWOL and Scott and Stiles think she's turning. They bring this up to Jackson, and...
    Scott: We think she's turning.
    Jackson: Turning... into...
    Stiles: A unicorn. What do you think, dumbass?
    • A naked Lydia appears and demands a jacket. Stiles fumbles around, trying to pull off his Dad's, and falls flat on his face. His Dad just rolls his eyes and takes his jacket off.
  • Shape Shifted:
    • The chain endlessly falling out of Stiles's locker as everyone turns to stare.
    Coach Finstock: Part of me wants to ask. The other part says knowing, will be more disturbing than anything I could ever imagine. So, I'm gonna walk away.... [turns and walks away]
    • Stiles has an idea.
    Stiles: I seriously don't understand how you survive without me sometimes.
    • Scott is tackling team members to get their scent and leaving the goal area repeatedly, despite warnings from Coach Finstock.
    Coach Finstock: Stilinski. What the hell is wrong with your friend?
    Stiles: Ah...He-he's failing two classes, he's a little socially awkward and if you look close enough his jawline is kind of uneven.
    Coach Finstock: ...That's interesting.
    • One of the hunters goes to the police station to kill a new werewolf on the full moon. Derek gets the wolf out of there and leaves Stiles behind with the unconscious hunter and a mess of the jail cells. Enter Stiles's Dad.
    Stiles: (beat) Uh, he did it.
  • Ice Pick:
    • Allison offers to show Scott how to ice skate but he laughs and reminds her of his enhanced senses. Then he gets on the ice...
    Scott: See...(falls on his ass)
    • All Scott's fails at the ice rink.
  • Abomination:
    • Stiles relaying messages between Scott and Allison.
    • Scott and Allison both thinking that Stiles is talking about beastiality when he mentions the bestiary.
    Stiles: He probably means a bestiary.
    Scott: A what?
    Stiles: A bestiary.
    Scott: (laughs) I think you mean beastiality.
    Stiles: No, pretty sure I don't. It's like an encyclopedia of mythical creatures.
    Allison: I think you mean-
    Stiles: No, I mean bestiary! And the two of you, I don't wanna know what's going on in your heads!
    • In fairness, Allison is dating a werewolf...
    • Stiles dumping Derek into the water when Derek tells him that he doesn't have the guts to go after the phone. What makes it funnier is that not only did Stiles fail to contact Scott but Derek is not even mad that he did it.
  • Frenemy:
    • Scott getting annoyed with Stiles.
    Stiles: What? Scott c'mon. I'm a 147 pounds of pale skin and fragile bone. Sarcasm is my only defense.
    • Scott and Stiles chase the kanima into a bar.
    Scott: Dude! Everyone in here's a dude! I think we're in a gay club.
    Stiles: (surrounded by drag queens) Man, nothing gets past those keen werewolf senses, huh Scott?
    • Which becomes a Call-Back when Stiles comments that he invited several friends to get Lydia's party going. Gilligan Cut to several drag queens and their friends at the door. Lydia stares at them for a beat and invites them in.
    • The entire gay bar sequence until the kanima attack is hilarious in fact. Scott and Stiles attempting to buy some drinks with their ACTUAL IDs, Scott getting sent a drink...
    • Made funnier by the fact that instead of uncomfortable, Scott looks incredibly proud of himself. Funnier still in that Stiles, who has the Running Gag of wondering if gay guys find him attractive, is openly annoyed that Scott got a drink and he didn't.
    • Or the exchange afterward between Stiles and his dad:
      Sheriff Stilinski: Why are you always at the scene of the crime?! And here, of all places?!
      Stiles: What, it's a club! We were clubbing! At the club!
      Sheriff Stilinski: Not exactly your type of club.
      Stiles: Well, dad, there's a conversation that we-
      Sheriff Stilinski: You're not gay.
      Stiles: I could be!
      Sheriff Stilinski: Not dressed like that.
    • Scott and Stiles are trying to figure out what to do with Jackson.
    Stiles: I got an idea.
    Scott: Does it involve breaking the law?
    Stiles: By now don't you think that's a given?
    Scott: I was just trying to be optimistic.
    Stiles: Don't bother.
  • Restraint:
    • Ms. McCall desperately trying to act like a serious parent despite her habit of Hands-Off Parenting. She grounds Scott but slowly realizes that its less than practical after attempting to confine him to the house (he has work), take away his TV (it's broken), his computer (he needs it for school) she finally hits on something she can use.
    Scott: I need the computer for school.
    Mrs McCall: Then no... uh [sees Stiles waiting in the hallway] no Stiles!
    Stiles: Wh- No Stiles?!
    Mrs McCall: [shouting] No Stiles!
  • Raving:
    • Stiles, Erica, and Isaac are watching over a drugged Kanima!Jackson in a locked room. All of a sudden, the drugs wear off. Cue a collective and hilarious This Is Gonna Suck look on their faces before they immediately hightail it.
    • Followed by them desperately holding the door closed, and looking for something to block it with... then the Kanima bursts right through the wall next to them.
  • Party Guessed:
    • The "Sneak Peek" for this episode has a brilliant moment. Derek has locked up the baby wolves for the full moon, and they've lost control and are trying with all their might to break free.
    Derek: *Completely casual, on the phone* Scott, can you call me back, I'm probably gonna need some help... *Hangs up, looks around at the chaos* DEFINITELY going to need some help..."
    • This Call-Back, but even more so the expressions it elicits.
    Derek: Tonight you’re going to want to kill anything you can find.
    Erica: Good thing I had my period last week, then.
    • Stiles is under the influence of wolfsbane punch and is hallucinating, and Scott tries to get him to sober him up but fails. A fellow partygoer tells Scott that she can sober him up. Scott's skeptical, so she proves her point by dunking Stiles into the fountain. Doubles as Mood Whiplash as Stiles's hallucination was a Tear Jerker about his worst fear.
    Partygoer: How do you feel?
    Stiles: Like I'm might have to revisit my policy on hitting a girl.
    Partygoer: He's sober.
  • Fury:
    • Scott and Stiles expose to Stiles' father what they discovered about the Kamina's victim, namely that all the murders are connected to the swimming team and Matt is likely the murderer. Stiles' father, still not really buying it, asks why Matt would want to kill the whole swimming team. Stiles' theory? Because the team sucks.
    • Stiles and Derek have both been paralyzed by the kanima. Derek's managed to get his claws out and digging into his leg in order to kickstart the healing and get the kanima's venom out of his system. When Stiles asks how that's going:
    Derek: I can move my toes.
    Stiles: Dude, I can move MY toes.
  • Battlefield:
    • Finstock's inspirational speech to the team before the championship game. Melissa and Stiles recognize it from somewhere... and then realize that he's reciting the climactic speech from Independence Day, word for word. The rest of the speech is interspersed with the two snarking about how ridiculous the whole thing is.
    Melissa: He doesn't know any sports speeches?
    Stiles: I don't think he cares.
    • Finstock's not just doing the speech. . . he's wearing almost the exact same outfit as Bill Pullman wore in the same scene, imitates most of his physical movements (playing a few up for Rule of Funny), and is even using a bullhorn with detachable microphone (like the one in the movie), in small concrete lockeroom.
    • Stiles' utter disbelief that Coach Finstock is letting him play as well as Sheriff Stilinski's disbelief that Stiles is actually playing.
    • When Peter offers Derek his help, he questions:
    Derek: Why would I want help from a total psycho?
    Peter: First off, I'm not a total pyscho. You're the one who slashed my throat wide open, but we're all works in progress right? So......
  • Master Plan:
    • Scott introducing Peter to Isaac:
    Isaac: Who is this guy?
    Scott: That's Peter, Derek's uncle. Little while ago he tried to kill us all, then we set him on fire and Derek ripped his throat out.
    Peter: Hi.
    Isaac (quietly): Good to know.
    • When the group is looking for information on the kanima, Peter pulls something out of a secret compartment in the staircase.
    Derek: What's that? A book?
    Peter: No, its a laptop. What century are you living in?
    • While trying to get a Scott and Isaac to bring a cocooned Jackson to them, Peter and Derek finding out about a supposedly evolved Kanima that Jackson may turn into if the situation isn't resolved soon. After the two see an apparently disturbing picture, Peter finds a video.
    Derek: He's turning into that? That... has wings.
    Peter:(small voice) I can see that.
    Peter: Look, someone actually made an animation of it. Maybe it's less frightening if we... (clicks play, and a disgusting screech emanates from the laptop. Peter immediately slams the laptop shut.) Nope, not at all. We should probably meet them halfway.

     Season 3 
  • Tattoo:
    • When Scott gets a tattoo, Stiles is looking around the store while the tattoo artist prepares himself:
    Stiles: Sure you don't want something like this? (shows a picture of a kanima and earns a Disapproving Look) Too soon?
    • When Stiles immediately faints at the sight of Scott getting the tattoo.
    • Stiles is completely willing to skip the first day of school to look into the deer attack from the previous night. His father suggests begging, bribing, and extorting him to make him leave before literally dragging him out of his room and out of the house.
    • Scott and Stiles overhears the principal demanding that the damage in the library be cleaned up...and holds up a sword, wondering what the hell it is. So the two quickly book it.
    • Stiles notices a bandage on Lydia's heel.
    Stiles: What happened to you?
    Lydia: Prada bit me.
    Stiles: Your dog?
    Lydia: No, my designer handbag. Yes my dog.
  • Chaos Rising:
    • Isaac and Derek have a discussion which basically amounts to "But I don't like Peter!" "No one likes Peter." Cue Peter coming in and saying he has excellent hearing and that whatever they have to say, they can say to his face, leading to this:
    Derek (bluntly): We don't like you. Now shut up and help us.
    • Stiles provided:
      • His attempt to find a condom.
      • His acidental drop of said condom in Coach Finstock's class.
      • He distractly putting a glove in the vet office while people are discussing how to put Isaac in a trance.
    • Stiles is skeptical that Derek can punch through a wall. He has Derek make a fist, and Derek promptly punches his hand. Scott doesn't know how to react, Peter is dreadfully amused, and Stiles acknowledges Derek can punch through the wall.
    • His interactions with Peter. But especially this:
    Stiles: They’re an Alpha pack, right? So shouldn’t they have a lair?
    Peter: They’re werewolves, not Bond villains.
    Stiles: Wait a sec. Wait a sec. Maybe they’re living there. You know? Like, maybe the bank vault reminds them of their little wolf dens.
    Peter: Wolf dens?
    Stiles: Yeah, wolf dens. Where do you live?
    Peter: In an underground network of caves hidden deep in the woods.
    Stiles: Whoa, really?
    Peter: No, you idiot. I have an apartment downtown.
  • Fireflies:
    • Derek and Isaac in the car.
    Isaac: So your, uhhh, your sister...
    Isaac: Sorry, it's a bad time. I'm sorry. I'll ask later, it's fine.
    Derek: (Another Disapproving Look combined with a Death Glare).
    Isaac: Or never. I'm good with never, yeah.
  • Unleashed:
    • Stiles realizes that the latest three deaths are all virgin sacrifices. Stiles is a virgin, and loudly bemoans that his virginity is literally a threat to his life.
    Danny: Alright, I'll do it. Be at my place at nine. Plan to stay the night. I like to cuddle.
    Stiles: Bwuh! (Beat) That was so sweet. Are you kidding?
    Danny: Yes, I was kidding.
    Stiles: It's not nice to toy with a guy's emotions like that, Danny!
    • There's also Isaac stealing Aiden's bike to piss him off. All with a smug grin on his face.
  • Frayed:
    • Danny and Stiles texting. Just...the whole thing.
    • The look on Kali's face when Deaton completely non-reacts to her flashing him the Alpha eyes and baring her teeth at him. She seems absolutely baffled that it had no effect on him.
    • Stiles needs the coach to stop the bus during a long road trip, but he adamantly refuses. Stiles then notices a student who has been car sick the entire ride and sits beside him.
    Stiles: Hey Jared. How ya doin'?
    (Stiles puts on an epic slasher smile)
    (cut to the bus stopped and the passengers running off in disgust)
    • Stiles reveals to Scott (and the viewing audience) that he is completely aware of the fact that Allison and Lydia have been following them "in secret" for hours.
  • Currents:
    • Scott and Isaac's adorably pathetic attempt at keeping Melissa safe from the darach:
    Scott: You were on watch last!
    Isaac: What are you talking about? You were on watch last!
    Scott: No, I wasn't! You were on watch last!
    Isaac (to Melissa): I might have been on watch last.
    Melissa: My heroes.
    • Those three are made of adorable and funny together. There's also the great scene from the second season finale when Scott and Isaac tell Melissa to zip the body bag around the kanima while it reflexively bites out. Melissa gives a great WTF expression before zipping the bag, while the werewolves back away scared.
    Scott: Zip, Mom, zip!
    • Cora tells Lydia to stay away from Aiden.
    Lydia: My last boyfriend was a homicidal lizard. I think I can handle a werewolf.
  • The Girl Who Knew Too Much:
    • When Stiles feels like Ethan is threatening him...
    Stiles: Is he looking at me? Are you threatening me? You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to break off an extra large branch of mountain ash, wrap it in wolfsbane, roll it in mistletoe, and shove it up your freakin-
    Scott: Stiles, okay!
    • Stiles nicknaming the Ethan and Aidan fusion "Voltron Wolf."
  • The Overlooked:
    • The "Oh, for fuck's sake" face Ms. Blake makes when she looks around her in the elevator—Derek won't let go of her arm, Scott's glaring at her, and Stiles is gripping his bat and shaking as if it's all he can do to not fly at her. Her reaction is hilarious.
    • Whilst Scott, Stiles, Derek, Peter, and Jennifer are running from the merged Alpha twins
(this) (summary) (of part) (of it is) (fairly accurate)
  • Chris doesn't know who Jennifer Blake is. Isaac declares she's the teacher with the brown hair and that she's "Kinda hot" which earns him a disapproving look from Scott, Allison, Melissa and Chris.
  • Isaac is having a video chat with Allison.
Allison: You ready?
Isaac: (sighs) Yeah.
Allison: Not nervous are you?
Isaac: Do I look nervous?
Allison: No not at all. (Turns camera away.)
Chris: (In the background) Did he look nervous?
Allison: Terrified.
Isaac: Yeah, I can still hear you. Very, very clearly.
  • Alpha Pact:
    • The conversations between Stiles and an FBI agent who knows both he and his father (since he's Scott's dad). Stiles, stressed out and not in the mood for this man's interrogation:
    Agent McCall: Think you can answer some questions without the usual level of sarcasm?
    Stiles: If you can ask the questions without the usual level of stupid.
    • Stiles and Lydia go to the guidance counselor's office, to find only the Sassy Black Girl who dunked Stiles' head underwater to sober him, not Ms. Morrel. She is quite the snarker; annoyed that they have seemingly busted in without an appointment, annoyed when Stiles takes out the private files Ms. Morrel has, etc. When Stiles notices the tree drawing in Lydia's file matches the one he saw her drawing in class, and they open her notebook to reveal pages and pages of the exact same tree, drawn exactly identical down to the last line:
    Girl: Okay, you can have my session. You got bigger issues.
  • Lunar Ellipse:
    • Isaac's complete irreverence when the FBI is questioning him, Allison, and Scott regarding the missing parents - his parents are dead, after all.
    • Ethan and Lydia convincing Derek to leave before Kali comes to kill him, and then facing down Kali themselves.
      • Peter strongly endorses the idea:
    Derek: Do you want me to run?
    Peter: No. I want you to stay and get slaughtered by an Alpha with a psychotic foot fetish.
    • Lydia does not skimp on the snark, even when confronting a murderous Alpha:
    Kali: Who do you think you're talking to? (Close-up shot of Kali's clawed feet)
    Lydia: Someone in desperate need of a pedicure. I'd be happy to give you a referral.
  • Anchors:
    • Kira's father embarrassing her with a very public introduction to her class.
      • She confronts him about it after.
      Mr. Yukimura: You said you wanted to be noticed.
      Kira: I could set myself on fire and be noticed!
      Mr. Yukimura: But then you'd be dead.
      Kira: Exactly.
    • In the next episode, "More Good Than Bad", he continues. Kira is looking for some research she did for Scott and can't find it, and her father appears behind her to give it to her. While specifically stating it's "for that boy that you like". Scott and Kira's expressions say it all.
    • Scott keeps throwing Isaac from his room. Also Melissa's exasperation at it.
    Melissa: This house does not have a supernatural ability to heal!
  • More Bad Than Good:
    • Stiles complaining about Isaac's scarf. And the purpose of Isaac.
  • Galvanize:
    • Aiden is trying to convince Ethan that they should go back to high school, and Ethan is firmly against it. Until he sees Danny flirting with another guy, that is. He still refuses to take math.
    • All the pranks that Scott and Stiles pull on Coach Finstock.
    • Stiles explaining to Scott that, since he's an alpha now, he's basically the hot girl that everybody wants to be with.
    Stiles: You're the Hot girl.
    Scott: I'm the hot girl?
    Stiles: You're the hottest girl.
    Isaac (arriving): What?
    Scott (completely serious): I'm the hot girl.
    Isaac (also serious): Yes you are.
    • Also in "Galvanize", Isaac attempts to put the moves on Allison. When swooping in for a kiss doesn't quite work, he instead pulls his shirt off. Allison does the same...and they don't get any further because at that moment her dad walks in.
    Chris Argent (offscreen): ANOTHER WEREWOLF?!?!?!
    • Prior to that, Allison's smirk upon hearing Isaac attempting to sneak into her apartment via electrified windows.
    • Also, just after walking in on them shirtless, Chris gives this bit of Papa Wolf:
    Chris: Allison, can I see you in my office? [to Isaac] Where I keep my guns.
    • Meanwhile Scott having dinner with Kira's parents and valiantly attempting to use chopsticks and eat sushi. After he's finished dinner Kira comes to find him ...and has brought some pizza.
    • While Barrow is unarguably terrifying, especially when talking to a kidnapped Kira, his comment about how "nobody likes crappy remakes" is pretty funny considering what show he's on.
  • Illuminated:
    • Scott's Dad attempting to interrogate Scott, Stiles, Lydia and Kira. The characters' absolutely deadpan responses are perfect.
    McCall: So when did you get there?
    Stiles: At the same time.
    McCall: Same time as who?
    Scott: Same time as me.
    McCall: By coincidence?
    Stiles: What do you mean by coincidence?
    McCall: That's what I'm asking you! The two of you arriving at the same time, was that coincidence?
    Scott: Are you asking me?
    Stiles: I think he's asking me.
    Lydia: I think he's asking both of you.
    McCall: Ok, let me answer the questions. Beat. ...Let me ask the questions. [Stiles winks at him]
    • Possibly the best part is Stiles's Dad watching from behind and cracking up the entire time, especially when Stiles at one point says his deductive skills are because "I take after my Pops, he's in the law enforcement."
    • A bunch of kids in costume come up to Derek while he's by his car. He slowly reaches in the car, staring at them... and pulls out a big bag of candy. Then wolfs out and scares the shit out of them. The self-satisfied look on his face afterwards is priceless. The brawny dork.
    • Stiles gives Scott and Kira the key cards to get into the the precinct, the Evidence Room and the Sheriff's Office.
    Scott: You didn't steal these, did you?
    Stiles: No, I just cloned them using a RFID Emulator.
    Scott: Is that worse than stealing?
    Stiles: It's smarter.
  • Letharia Vulpina:
    • It's a serious moment, but Coach Finstock's reaction to being shot with an arrow.
    Coach Finstock: Oh crap...
  • Echo House:
    • Stiles is trying to convince a nurse to let him use the phone.
    Nurse: Would you like to go to sleep Stiles? Or would you like to be introduced to our Five-point restraint system?
    Oliver: [tied to the bed] I would go with sleep. [waves]
    • Oliver telling Stiles about some of the people in Eichen House.
    Oliver: That's Hilary, she has OCD. That's Gary, he thinks he's Jesus Christ. Dan, also Jesus. That's Mary...
    Stiles: Mary Magdalene?
    Oliver: No, she also thinks she's Jesus. You would be surprised how many Jesus' we get.
    • Scott talking with Kincaid.
    Scott: Give me the finger...(beat) know what I mean.
  • Insatiable:
    • Agent McCall is curious who Meredith (a banshee who escaped from a mental institution) is. Stiles immediately claims she's his girlfriend
    Meredith: Uh, you're not my type.
    Stiles': Well, obviously, we have a lot to talk about. We should take this upstairs.
    Meredith (looking at Isaac): He's my type.
    Stiles: Okay. Isaac can come, too.
    • O'Brien's delivery absolutely makes the exchange. Stiles is so completely done, but he's insistent on powering on regardless.
    • Isaac and Stiles' whisper argument over how to get Meredith to tell them where Lydia is.
    Isaac: I'm just saying...
    Stiles: No, we are not going to torture her.
    Isaac: I mean scare her.
    Stiles: We are not going to psychologically torture her either.
    Isaac: Fine.
    • All while Meredith is sitting nearby obviously able to hear everything.
    • Everything with Isaac, Stiles and Meredith.
    • The group standing at the gates of Oak Creek getting ready to rescue Lydia.
    Allison: I'm here to save my best friend.
    Scott: I came to save mine.
    Isaac: I just didn't feel like doing any homework.
  • The Divine Move:
    • Ethan telling Danny that he is leaving Beacon Hills.
    Danny: I just don't think I can do it.
    Ethan: Date me?
    Danny: Date a werewolf.
    Ethan: ...You knew?
    Danny: Dude, it's Beacon Hills.

     Season 4 
  • The Dark Moon:
    • Stiles and Lydia nervously walking through a Mexican village while Lydia continuously complains that their plan is stupid and they're all going to die.
    Stiles: Are you saying that as a banshee or as a pessimist?
    Lydia: I'm saying it as a person who doesn't want to die.
    Stiles: Well from now on lets keep all talk of death to banshee-related predictions.
    • Malia's complete lack of empathy towards the other members of the pack, usually in the form of telling everyone but Stiles that she's entirely willing to leave them behind. As Stiles reiterates through the episode, she's making progress.
  • 117:
    • Stiles' annoyance that when Malia sneaks into his room at night, he always ends up as the small spoon.
    • Mr. Yukimura continuously demanding that his students turn their phones off in his increasingly unruly class until Kira points out that the latest ring was his phone.
      • Better yet, it's Lydia texting for Scott to call her since she couldn't get through to anyone.
    • The first thing Sheriff Stilinski does when he finds out about de-aged Derek Hale is ask Scott and Stiles if they've been time travelling.
    Stilinski: Because if time travel is real, y'know what, I'm done! I'm out. You're gonna be driving me to Eichen House.
    Scott: No, we found him like that!
    Stilinski: Where, swimming in the Fountain of Youth?!
    Stiles: No, we found him in a tomb of wolfsbane in an Aztec temple in Mexico buried underneath a church in a village that was destroyed by an earthquake.
    Stilinski: You told me you went camping!
    Stiles: We Mexico.
    • When Stiles and De-aged!Derek run into Scott's dad, Stiles promptly introduces him as Miguel, his cousin.
    • When Peter find out that Kate survived.
    Peter: Can't someone in this town stay dead?
    Malia: I think they were hoping you would.
    • Stiles once more running into danger with his trusty Baseball bat.
    Lydia: You seriously need to find something better than a Baseball bat.
  • The Benefactor:
    • Scott and Stiles are talking about what happened with Liam after the incident on the roof of the Hospital.
    Stiles: Like I said, I told my dad everything I could.
    Scott: But you didn't tell him about Liam?
    Stiles: You barely told me about Liam. What'd you do with him anyway?
    Scott: ...He's upstairs.
    Stiles: Doing what?
    Scott: Um...Lying down.
    (Gilligan Cut to them opening the shower curtain with Liam Duct Taped in the bathtub.)
    • Stiles' expression just screams that he is so done with everything as he slowly slides the shower curtain closed again.
    • The whole discussion between Stiles and Scott afterwards.
    • Stiles sort of explaining what's happening.
    Stiles: Okay, Liam. Now you've seen a lot of confusing things tonight and more confusing things are gonna happen because of the confusing things that happened tonight. Do you understand?
    Liam: Not really.
    Stiles: Good. That's good.
    Scott: I don't understand either.
    • Everything that happened at Scott's house.
    • Stiles testing the chains on Malia when his father walks in.
    Stiles: is not what you think...At all.
    Stilinski: I don't even want to know. *walks away*
    Stiles: There's nothing to know! Cuz I just...
    Malia: I don't get it.
    Stiles: ...told him that.
    • Made better by Malia's hilariously innocently confused look.
    • Scott attempts to explain to Liam what happened to him in the same way Derek tried to explain it to Scott. It goes down just as well as it did the first time.
    • Also Stiles' attempts at helping explain.
    Stiles: We're trying to help you, you little runt.
    Liam: By kidnapping me?
    Stiles: Just to clarify. Scott kidnapped you, okay. I aided and abetted.
    • Kira attempts to flirt with Liam and convince him to come to a party so Scott and the pack can chain him up when he transforms during the full moon. In slow-motion, we see her gracefully descend the stairs, do a Hair Flip while gazing at Liam, then miss a step and tumble down the rest of the flight. Still in slow-motion. And when Liam moves in to help her, she still tries to look sexy and poses in a cute position... while sprawled on the floor.
  • I.E.D.:
    • Kira is confronted by her father about something that she is keeping from them.
    Kira: You know.
    Mr. Yukimura: We know.
    Kira: Look, I was gonna tell you. We were gonna tell you. Everything. About the dead pool, the assassins, the killings...but I don't want you to worry.
    Mr. Yukimura: I was talking about you joining the lacrosse team.
    Kira: Oh...then, never mind.
    Mr. Yukimura: Dead pool?
    • Stiles looking over pictures of murders in the middle of class, which Coach Finstock notices.
    Coach: If I could grade you on how profoundly you disturb me, you would be an A+ student.
    • Scott, Stiles and Kira are looking for an assassin on the lacrosse team when Kira mentions they should try to get the game cancelled.
    Scott: The game is the best way to catch him red handed.
    Stiles: But what if he's red handed cuz his hands are covered in the blood of the person that he just stabbed to death.
  • Orphaned:
    • Stiles and Lydia tell Parrish that he is on the dead pool.
    Parrish: I'm worth 5 dollars?
    Stiles: 5 million.
    Parrish: I only make 40 thousand a year. Maybe I should kill myself.
    • Malia and Derek are trying to find the other pack of werewolves.
    Malia: Maybe we need to think like Stiles.
    Derek: (skeptical) Like a hyperactive spaz?
  • Time of Death:
    • Liam isn't happy with the plan.
    Liam: Isn't it kind of dangerous?
    Stiles: Yeah, it's incredibly dangerous and borderline idiotic.
    Liam: You guys done something like this before?
    Stiles: Something dangerous or something idiotic?
    Kira: I think it's a yes to both.
  • Perishable:
    • Coach Finstock's speech about the bonfire party.
    • Stiles and Lydia.
    Stiles: Okay, what did you read?
    Lydia: The Little Mermaid.
    Stiles: read that movie?
    Lydia: (blinks) was a book first.
    • Braeden impersonating a US Marshall to interrogate Haigh.
    Haigh: How'd you get those scars?
    Braeden: A werewolf. How'd you break your nose?
    Haigh: What's that supposed to m.... (Gets punched in the face.)
  • Monstrous:
    • Peter trying to excuse his part in the creation of the dead pool.
    Peter: She was listening to the ranting and the raving of a lunatic! ...A former lunatic, I'm much healthier now.
  • A Promise to the Dead:
    Finstock: What would Scott and Kira be doing together that is so important?
  • Smoke & Mirrors:
    • Sheriff Stilinski threatening to ground Stiles once he gets back from Mexico. Gets a call back after the group hug between Malia, Stiles and the Sheriff, it turns out Sheriff Stilinski handcuffed Stiles to his desk.
    • The return of the Baseball Bat(s). This time wielded by Lydia and Mason in an attack against a Berserker.
    • A Berserker's Oh Crap reaction when it realizes it was holding a claymore mine.
    • Liam, Scott, and Stiles excuse their absence to Coach Finstock by claiming that Scott and Kira decided to have their first date in Mexico, and Stiles and Liam had to retrieve them. He doesn't believe a word of it, but what he does believe sounds quite strange.
    Finstock: I've had experiences south of the border that would make your genitals fall off.

     Season 5 
  • Creatures of the Night:
    • Scott and Stiles are having a conversation when...
    Stiles: Think it's been long enough?
    Liam: (in the background) Yes!
    (Shows Liam in the background tied to a tree with chains.)
    • The reason that he is tied to a tree is because during the last full moon the Sheriff's department got calls about a monstrous dog-boy running naked through the streets.
    Scott: Why were you naked?
    Liam: It was really hot out that night, okay?
    • Stiles' tools for fixing his Jeep is a roll of duct tape.
    • Malia kisses Stiles in front of her dad.
    Mr. Tate: You boys do remember I own a gun, right?
    Stiles: Vividly.
  • Parasomnia:
    • Stiles trying to get the Sheriff to run a background check on Theo.
    • Mason is annoying Liam with talk about the supernatural, so Liam distracts him with knowledge that the soccer team is going to be practicing shirtless.
    • Stiles is convinced that something is off about Theo.
    Stiles: Someone's not someone and when I figure out who that someone really is, someone's in big trouble.
    • Liam isn't sure if he should tell Mason about the supernatural.
    Liam: It's a lot to accept.
    Stiles: He watched my dad blow up a berserker with a landmine. I think the groundwork's been pretty thoroughly laid for acceptance.
    • And then a bit later.
    Liam: But what if he freaks out? What if he doesn't want to talk to me? What if he tries to stab me with something silver? Or what if... (falls into a hole)
  • Dreamcatchers:
    • Mason gets to join the pack in discussing the new threats in town. While everyone is exhausted from their running around the previous night, Mason is in full-on Keet mode.
    Stiles: Liam we said you could tell him, not invite him to the inner circle.
    Mason: I'm in the inner circle?
    Stiles and Liam: No!
  • A Novel Approach:
    • Stiles is against Lydia going to Eichen House.
    Stiles: I'm not letting you go to a place where one of the orderlies almost killed you.
    Lydia: He almost killed you too!
    Stiles: And we're both still alive. See, team work.
  • Required Reading:
    • Scott and Theo are looking for anyone off or weird at school.
    Theo: Isn't everyone a little weird in High School?
    Scott: Yeah, good point.
  • Strange Frequencies:
    • Liam trying to prove to Hayden that werewolves and the Dread Doctors exist which ends in her screaming and punching him in the face.
  • The Last Chimera:
    • Liam and Mason are looking for Hayden's body.
    Mason: If you wanna find her you're gonna have to find the Nemeton.
    Liam: Okay, let's find the Nemeton.(Rushes off.)
    Mason: (sigh) I need to learn to shut up.
    • Mason's reaction when Liam nonchalantly rips a page out of a book they were looking at.
  • Damnatio Memoriae:
    • Mason's attempts at getting information out of Corey. At one point Liam is facepalming in the background.
  • Codominance:
    • The Jeeps very minor leak.
    • Mason dragging a random girl off screen by her chair so that he can partner up with Corey in class.

     Other / Meta 
  • More meta, but an episode of Wolf Watch has various members of the Teen Wolf cast listing their most memorable romantic moments of the series. At the end, Jill Wagner (Kate, and the host of Wolf Watch), completely serious, insists that her favorite romantic moment was "Kate licking Derek's abs. That was super romantic."
    • The episode after that laid some additional context to the ab-licking scene. Tyler Posey, Tyler Hoechlin, and Dylan O'Brien were all living together during the first season, and Posey and Dylan got a hold of the script first. They spent the next few days making fun of Hoechlin, and later gathered a group of people onto the set on the day of that scene so that everybody could watch.