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Funny moments in Saved by the Bell.

  • The dumb football player Ox is always good for a Funny Background Event, especially the time he ate a handful of french fries and squirted ketchup into his mouth rather than just dipping the fries.
  • In the Close Encounters Of The Nerd Kind episode...
    • "President...Pee Wee Herman...*Pee Wee Herman laugh*"
    • The reporter/Air Force spy guy.
    • The whole bit with Screech staying at Zack's house and saying his night time prayers. Also a bit of Heartwarming.
    • The entire running gag with the radio signals in Screech's new fillings. Especially the radio ad for some weird Deep South-themed restaurant.
      AD: "...For country eatin' there's no beatin' Billy-Joe-Bob's House O' Possum!"
  • In "The Video Yearbook," Zack chews Screech out for putting Kelly in the dating video service along with every other girl at Bayside - thus leading her to get lots of calls from other guys.
    Zack: You are the stupidest person ever to walk the Earth!
    Screech: Well, you hired me; what does that make you?
    • Slater and Lisa's respective tapes. While the former freezes up once the camera starts rolling, the latter has Screech calling her out on how shallow it is:note 
      Screech: Looks like he was born camera shy.
      Zack: What's your name?
      Slater: My name? My name is A.C. Slater.
      Zack: ...I bet it feels good to be the captain of the football team.
      Slater: Oh, I bet it does.
      Zack: Is there a message you'd like to leave the graduating class?
      Slater: Goodbye.
    • Upon the class discovering Zack's dating tapes, they see Jessie's tape with Screech's interrupting voiceover:
    Screech: She's very excited about going on a date with you and she's just a phone call away. *As the screen flashes "Jessie "Legs" Spano" and her phone number as we view her very horrified reaction in the reflection* They call her "legs" and you can too!
    • Later on, when they are thinking up ways to stop the guys from calling:
      Screech: Why don't we just go into their houses, dressed up as phone repairmen, and take all their phones at once?
      Zack: Why don't you make a hungry shark happy?
      Screech: I sense an anger in you, Zachary.
    • When an angry Slater comes into the locker room, he tells Zack what he's going to do to whoever gave out Jessie's phone number as Screech somehow magically mimes having everything he describes done to him:
      Slater: I'm just gonna slam him against the wall...
      *Screech is slammed against the lockers with a shocked and confused on his face as he looks around at who did that to him*
      Slater: ...and then I'm gonna slap him silly... *slapping at the air*
      *Screech is "slapped" three times and is left dazed*
      Slater: And then you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna take a pair of pliers and I'm gonna tear out all of his little nose hairs... *mimes using a pair of pliers*
      *Screech writhes in "pain" and then slams his head against the lockers and screams "Ow!" while holding his nose*
      Slater: What's wrong with you, Screech?
      Screech: Wrong? With me? Nothing! Nev-never better!
    • Zack in drag. That is all.
  • In "Model Students", when the girls discover that they were used in a calendar without their permission.
    Jessie: You didn't have the right!
    Kelly: You didn't ask permission!
    The other two glare at her.
    • There are only eleven girls on the swim team so they had to put Belding's face on another body...
      Jessie: That is my body!
      Slater: Ugh, I'm gonna dream about Belding tonight.
      • Her anger at Slater over the calendar:
        Jessie: You want me in a bathing suit, you got me!
        Slater: Now, wait a min—*hits in the head with a calendar*
    • Even better, this exchange:
      Jessie: We're just going to have to take this up with Mr. Belding.
      Slater: Don't you mean Miss December?
      *She takes a menacing step forward, to which he cowers back and covers his head in response*
    • The first scene mentioned is immediately followed by a professional photographer asking to do a spread with the girls - after seeing the calendars. He asks Zack where he can find them and Zack says he'll have to get permission first. The girls immediately smile sweetly and say "sell those calendars, Zacky."
  • Jessie's Not So Above It All moments:
    Screech is being sent to spy on Valley's cheerleading squad
    Jessie: No, why would we stoop so low?
    Lisa: To win.
    Jessie: Take notes.
  • Kelly has a wonderful Not So Above It All moment too. Zack gets her a friendship ring and whenever cute guys say hi to her, he holds up Kelly's hand and angrily says "see the ring!". Kelly gets annoyed with Zack for doing this so many times. Then a cute girl says "Hi, Zacky" and Kelly angrily says "see the ring!"
  • In "Pipe Dreams" when they strike oil by digging on the football field.
    Jessie: This is what happens when Man interferes with the natural environment.
    Slater: It was a chick digging the hole, okay.
  • Zack has been trying to get ahold of Kelly on the phone all day in "The Prom":
    Zack: Every time I call, her parents say she's washing her hair. Who washes their hair eleven times a day?
    Slater: (beat) You do.
    • Also, with Jessie and Slater arguing over what music to play at the event:
    Jessie: He wants Lambada.
    Slater: She wants protest music.
    • When deciding who to choose as her prom date, Kelly has a dream about the guys in a contest called a "Hunk Off", featuring a talk show host named Geraldo Screech:
    Geraldo!Screech: And what do your friends think about it?
    Lisa: I think it's romantic.
    Jessie: I think it's reverse macho pigism, and I don't like it.
    Geraldo: And I don't like you.
    • During the meeting of the prom committee, Mr. Belding then has this exchange with another student:
    Mr. Belding: What are you in charge of, Robert?
    Robert: Nothin'; I'm just here to tell you the chemistry lab is on fire. Got any marshmallows, dude?
    Mr. Belding: *as he leans down and punches the intercom button* CODE RED! CODE RED!
    Screech: Now that Kelly's picked Zack, it's time to snatch me up before I'm taken. Will you go to the prom with me?
    Lisa: Yeah, I'll go.
    Screech: (ecstatically) You will?!
    Lisa: I'll go with you when worms have ears! (storms off)
    Screech: You're weakening!
    • The next scene has her actually receiving a gift box from him filled with worms with paper ears taped to them. In spite of this feat, she still refuses to go with him.
  • Zack using his "time out" to cheat at the glee club competition. During the time out he has Screech play a tape of another glee club singing, but the tape messes up and the glee club ends up having to lip synch to very fast and very slow versions of "When the Saints Go Marching In." They then cover up by saying it was their impression of a Glee Club tuning up. What makes it funnier is that they still end up getting third place.
  • "I'M SO EXCITED! I'M SO EXCITED! I'M, SO... SCARED!"
    • It's the Narm factor. The scene itself is supposed to be a very serious, dramatic moment of a mental breakdown due to drug abuse....but it's hard to take seriously since the drug in question is caffeine pills and her acting is a bit over-the-top.
  • During the "Miss Bayside" episode, when Kelly, Lisa and Jessie are all angry at each other for entering the contest, Kelly and Jessie have this exchange:
    Jessie: Can you please hand me my towel, please?
    Kelly: Sure! *Throws it at her face*
    Jessie: What does that mean?
    Kelly: It means you're a hypocrite! Talking me out the pageant and then you entering it yourself!
    Jessie: Excuse me, but I entered the pageant because the politics behind it have changed. But I wouldn't expect you to grasp that; your idea of politics is limited to "Who won the election on Sesame Street?"
    • Also, in the same episode, Zack decides to throw things into a frenzy by entering Screech as a contestant.
    Mr. Belding: You can't enter a man in the beauty contest!
    Zack: Well, I'm not entering a man. I'm entering Screech.
  • In "Blind Dates", Mr. Belding is forcing Zack to date his niece to get out of a bad grade. Belding tells Zack to meet her at the Max wearing a certain carnation.
    Zack: Why can't I pick her up at your place?
    (Zack gives a nod as if thinking "yeah, that's fair.")
    • During an Imagine Spot Jessie has over how bad the date that Lisa sets her up with, she pictures Zack as the host of "The Dating Game". He not only is able to instantly silence the audience cheers just by waving his hands, but her choices include Teddy Krueger (introduced as "a night person who loves to laugh"), Mason Voorhees (introduced as "a real cut-up whose relationships with girls are always short") and Donald Chump (introduced as "the richest kid in the world").note  Plus, when "Desperate Jessie" is brought out, you can see an arm shoving her onto the stage.
    • Zack trying to teach Screech to be hip...which culminates in him falling down the stairs to the sound of a "sproing!" noise when he lands.
    • Screech as Zack at Kelly's birthday party. He even decides to wear a blond wig and first asks Lisa's opinion of it:
    Screech: It's a wig. *smoothing his hair* Do you like it?
    Lisa: Does the word "barf" mean anything to you?
    • After being pulled aside by Zack, who questioned him about the hair, he said he did it to give him "that extra bit of Zackosity".
    Zack: Look, I'm gonna kick your Zackosity if you don't get out of here.
    • When Penny Belding begins to brag about "Zack" to Kelly as a pleased Screech eavesdrops in the background. She then says that the two of them will be going back to her Uncle's house since he won't be home for a while, "if you know what I mean":note 
    Kelly: Yes, I know what you mean, you, you...*shouting* un-nice girl!
  • At the end of the SAT episode, Zack and The Max waiter James conspire to get the former out of his advanced placement classes, so the latter dressed as a man from the testing corporation, Stanley Alan Taylor (complete with a fake beard, which of course Belding doesn't recognize him in) and fool him into believing Zack will eventually experience burnout from the classes. After Zack is called into the office and while Belding tries to convince him to drop the courses, James' beard falls off and he frantically places it back on while his actor tries to keep from laughing. The audience, who already were enjoying the scene, go wild after it does, and even Mark-Paul himself can't help but crack a smile of two.
    • James' goofy "Stanley Alan Taylor" is silly, period! He plays him as an Large Ham who speaks in an over-the-top Mid-Atlantic accent of Shakespearean proportions and who really emphasizes the "H" sound in "Harvard" (....''HHHhhhhhAAAAHHHvvvVVAAAAHHHD!''....) in a manner that brings about a You Need a Breath Mint moment to the person being yelled at.
    • The fact that he kept getting the school's name wrong.
    James: ...and here at Bay-Dock-View-Side...!
  • The gang discover Kelly's boyfriend with another girl in "The Attic" and decide to track him down for further proof. Kelly meets with Screech who admits what's going on, Kelly thrown.
    Kelly: How could he do this?
    Screech: (sobbing) I don't know, Kelly! Men are such fools! I hope I never become one!
    • Mr. Belding showing the photography class his vacation slides of a trip to Sea World with his wife.
    Kelly: Why is she eating raw fish?
    Mr. Belding: *annoyed* That is not Mrs. B; that's Shamu. The whale?
  • The "All In the Mall" episode is one big CMOF. These particular scenes stand out:
    Screech: That way, when the bad guys come by, they won't recognize me.
    Slater: The only place you wouldn't be recognized is in a nuthouse.
    Lisa: Don't be so sure.
    • All of the gang decide to spend the night in a sporting goods store in order to get tickets to a U2 concert and end up in a large tent. This is what happens when the mall shuts down for the night:
    Slater: Can you please move? Your foot is on my hand.
    Zack: Hey! Your hand is on my foot.
    Lisa: It's dark in here!
    Screech: That's alright, my darling; I have X-ray vision.
    *Lisa punches Screech and he cries out a loud "Ow!"*
    Lisa: And get rid of that stupid costume!
  • In the episode where Kelly brought his baby brother. Zack hides him while in French class, where the baby starts to cry, and has to pretend he's trying to speak French. The teacher has the whole class repeat him. Then he just heard Kelly injured himself during cheer practice.
    Zack: Kelly did what?!
    Class: "Kelly did what?!"
    • "Screech you got a dummy, you dummy!"
    • Mr. Belding tries to get Billy to say "Detention".
    • Slater: Yo kid! Give it a rest! It worked when my mother said it to me, all right?
  • "Save The Max" deserves a mention. Some of the best moments include:
    • Screech's complete cluelessness about The Beatles (after seeing a poster of them on the radio station studio wall).
    • Kelly's radio show, called Kelly Desire, which was supposed to be a romantic show with like-themed music. What type music does Screech play that still sets him in a romantic mood? Loud, heavy metal acid rock. Kelly even face palms in reaction to perfect the scene.
    • Screech's horror-themed radio show, where he narrates with a ghoulish Peter Lorre voice, which sounded an awful lot like Gollum.
    • Screech's...eerily-on-the-mark impersonation of Al Bundy at the Save The Max telethon. Even better, not only does Zack refer to Al as a lowlife, but Screech also puts one of his hands down his pants like he does.
    • How Screech ended up discovering the radio station to begin with:
    Zack: Hey, Screech! I thought I knew every hiding place in this school. Hey, how did you find it?
    Screech: Oh, a bully dumped me down the garbage chute. [Beat] Someday, I'm gonna get even with that girl.
  • "Rockumentary" is easily one of the funniest episodes, in part due to its giant helping of Narm:
    • The "gang's" singing voices.
    • Their "hit" songs, "Did We Ever Have a Chance", "Love Me Now" and of course, "Friends Forever".
    • The "guest appearances" of Michael Jackson and Madonna (read: Really bad impersonators).
    • Zack as Vanilla Ice.
    Zack: "*angry* I look like 'Mr. Madonna'!"
    • "And on keyboards...Pope John Paul?!"
    • After the band breaks up, Lisa ends up as one of the gladiators, Lethal Lisa, on U.S. Gladiators, where she was such a brutal warrior, that she beat up everyone, including the audience.
  • As seen in a few earlier episodes with Mr. Belding addressing the students over the intercom. They pay him the utmost respect:
    Mr. Belding: Hello, students. This is your principal and your fearless leader, Mr. Belding.
    *students all groan loudly*
    Mr. Belding: Thank you.
  • Many of the gang's Noodle Incidents:
    • Zack sneaking the girls into a drive-in movie, only for him to to forget the trunk key. Even better, it was a Japanese movie, to which he tries to defend his actions by saying that he tried to read the subtitles as fast as he could.
    • Screech's "affectionate" gestures for Lisa (writing "I love you" in chocolate syrup on her mother's white couch, shaving the same thing into his hair and standing outside if her bedroom window, that eggplant sculpture he made of her, etc.)
    • Zack and Screech in general (when the former gets a great idea, the latter ends up naked on a bus, naked in a jar full of jellybeans, with his tongue stuck to a moving airplaine, when he tied him to the roller coaster tracks...)
  • In "Slater's Friend", after the gang has discovered that Slater's pet lizard, Artie, has died, this is Jessie's knee-jerk reaction on what to do note :
    "Should we try CPR?!"
    *the rest of the gang, even Screech, give her a look of "Really?"*
    "...Bad idea."
  • Zack's campaign video from "The Election" deserves a mention, which begins with an announcer saying "America is Zack Morris country" and includes him standing next to cardboard cutouts of Rocky (as he's declared "a Man's man..."), Madonna ("...and a ladies' man,") George H. W. Bush ("He's a pal to the powerful...") and his head poorly pasted onto Timmy's body ("...and kind to the cuddly.") There's also footage of Mikhail Gorbachev and Fidel Castro "advocating" for Zack in their respective languages as well as black and white footage of teenage girls screaming for The Beatles. In his own words, he says, "Wherever there's trouble, that's where I'll be." And his slogan: "Zack Morris: Why the Heck Not?"
    • "He's making a mockracy of demockery!"
    • Kelly telling Jessie that if she doesn't win, she'll go down with George McGovern, Walter Mondale and the Cleveland Indians.
    • When Zack tries to sabotage himself from winning after being told that the trip to D.C. was off, he has Screech help him by defacing his posters and convince kids waiting to vote to go with Jessie.
      Screech: Here's a quarter: vote for Jessie. Here's some quarters: vote for Jessie. Zack takes ballet lessons: pass it on. *Two guys in line rip off their "Zack" straw hats in disgust*
    • Before the official results of the election are read, Principal Belding reads off the votes of write-in candidates:
    "Jason Bateman: nine."
    "ALF: seven."
    "Gilligan: six."
    "And the Skipper, too."*laughs*
  • "Save That Tiger" has the boys engaged in a prank war with rival school, Valley. Screech has a suggestion for a prank:
    Screech: Let's flush all their toilets at once!
    Zack: Let's flush the water out of your brain!
    • The boys are then dressed in disguise to avoid detection. Zack and Slater dress in fatigues, to which Jessie comments that they look like "Rambo and Dumbo". And what about Screech? He's dressed as a ninja called Teenage Mutant Ninja Screech.
  • "The Lisa Card":
    • Zack selling Lisa's clothes in the hallway. He has Kelly model a bathing suit...which he immediately buys for himself and tells her to "get away from these animals".
    • Miss Wentworth's...interesting lesson on reproduction in the animal kingdom.
      Slater: How come birds aren't attracted to horses?
      Miss Wentworth: Oh but they are. Unfortunately there just isn't enough room in the nest.
    • She refers to the pond as "nature's hot tub".
    • Her talking about an insect repelling unwanted admirers is timed with two guys kissing Lisa against her will. When Miss Wentworth hears her say "get away, creeps", she corrects her and demonstrates the proper insect sound. And gets the rest of the class to join in.
    • After a whole episode of tension over what Lisa's father might say when he finds out, it's a complete Anti-Climax. And his reaction to Lisa's attempts to pay the money back?
      "My daughter? Waiting on tables?"
    • Zack selling Lisa's clothes to earn money. Screech buys a silk nightgown which he claims he'll use his "entire life savings" to purchase (which is only $2) that Zack advertises as "worn by Lisa while dreaming of Screech", which he then says will lie in his bed besides him and his dog. He also sells a pair of cowboy boots worn by her only once while watching a western on TV: the one twin buys one of the shoes for $6, then her twin sister buys the other for $4. Then there's this moment:
      Zack: How much for this wig, worn by Lisa during her Tina Turner phase?
      Male student: *Shouting offscreen with a vaguely foreign accent* FOUR DOLLAHZ!
      Zack: *throwing the wig down the hallway in his direction* Sold to Rocko...no questions asked!
  • "Driver's Ed" has Zack jealous of Slater getting his license before he does and it leads to an Imagine Spot of Slater and Kelly in his car at a drive-in movie while Zack bitterly watches on with Screech on his bike.
    • Screech is called on by Mr. Tuttle to use the driver's ed practice vehicle. After checking the tires, putting on driving gloves and then a helmet, he angrily screams "Will you vacate the vehicle?! Out, out, out, out!" And later when an eager Slater asks to drive, Tuttle, who was lied to about Zack that he was getting cocky and should teach the class, says "Pushy, pushy. Move your tushy!"
    • The phone conversation between Mr. Belding and Screech (who was imitating Mr. Tuttle to get the keys out of the car):
    Screech!Tuttle: Hello, Mr. Belding? This is Mr. Tuttle. Can you get the keys out of the driver's ed car? I left them by mistake-mistake-mistake.
    Belding: Why can't you do it?
    Screech!Tuttle: Uh, why can't I do it? Uhh, I'm shaving my body hair so I'll swim faster.
    *Zack groans in disgust*
    Belding: I'm sorry I asked. Okay, Tuttle. I'll get the keys for you. Is there anything else?
    Zack: *whispering back* Good, now stall him for five minutes. *leaves*
    Screech!Tuttle: Uh, yeah. Tell me that really long story about how you became principal.
    Belding: Alright, if you insist...it all began with a boy and his dream...*Screech now sinks down to the floor and yawns in boredom*...The year was 1956. Eisenhower was President, Elvis was King and I was in kindergarten on a finger-painting scholarship. Oh, I loved those paints!
    • This then comes back around after Belding punishes Zack (and sometime after the two men erroneously blamed each other for the crash and Tuttle throws back in his face how he was apparently earmarked to be principal instead):
    Belding: And that, Mr. Tuttle, is how you principal.
    Tuttle: *mocking him* "And that, Mr. Tuttle, is how you principal."
    • Later on, when after the car was crashed and the gang learned that Screech knew about the plan:
    Slater: What do you know Screech?
    Screech: Nuh-uh. No matter what you say or do to me, you won't break me: I won't talk.
    *Slater takes ONE STEP towards him*
    Screech: *speaking quickly* It was Zack! He made sure that Belding would catch you in the car! Tell him you tortured me, okay? *screams and runs away*
    • As Belding scolds the class for not coming forward for wrecking the driver's ed car, Zack perfectly mimes what he's going to say to them, complete with his mannerisms:
    Belding: *As Zack mouths along* I want you to know that I am very disappointed in you.
    • Then after he decides to fail the whole class and that the course will have to be retaken the following year, while everyone openly complains, you can hear Jessie's voice the loudest.
  • In "Breaking Up is Hard to Undo", after both of their respective breakups, Zack and Slater compare the answering machine messages that their exes left them:
    Kelly: Hi. If this is Zack, I'm on my honeymoon with Todd!
    • Jessie's message for Slater does it one better: "If this is Slater, take flying leap into a toxic dump."
    • When Zack ends up hallucinating seeing Kelly everywhere, he imagines her face on a mirror in his room and in a closet. When he tries to hug her in the latter, he ends up face-planting into a wall.
  • Screech's striking out with girls in "Screech's Woman". Even with talking to Kelly and asking why girls don't like him, he accidentally knocks her basket of fries all over the table.
    • This scene:
    Girl: Are you looking for something?
    Screech: No, babe. I found it...*leans against the trash receptacle, only to blindly put his arm inside of it and wipe out onto the floor*
    Girl: Are you alright?
    Screech: *hopping back up* Hup! I learned that trick from the Chinese acrobats!
    • When Zack dresses as Bambi (pictured above), he at one point flirts with Slater (who initially didn't realize it was him) and as he later begs him not to blow his cover to Screech or Kelly, he replies back "Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me, sweetheart" as he pats "Bambi's" chest.
    • Before that when Kelly believes she recognizes her and "she" asks if she were ever a Brownie Girl Scout:
    Kelly: I sure was! What troop number were you in?
    Bambi: Um, F Troop.
    *Kelly frowns in confusion and mutters to herself "F Troop?"*
  • "Dancing At The Max" has Kelly (once again) being split between choosing Zack or Slater to be her dance partner on an episode of Dance Party. Slater manages to show off his excellent skills, while Zack, after even bragging that he went to Dance Camp as a kid (although he immediately regrets this and never knew that dance camps were even real), he later confessed to Jessie that he can't dance. On top of that, when he finally shows his moves to her, she's so disgusted that suggests he go with Screech.
    • Speaking of him, he tries to convince Lisa to go with him by bringing a dummy to show how well he can dance. Better, as he headed towards her in the hallway, he passes by Zack who manages to warn him without missing a beat or even making eye contact with him "Whatever you're doing, don't!"
    • When Casey Kasem (As Himself) meets with Mr. Belding, he becomes star-studded and tries to convince him to co-host the show, with hilarious results:
    Mr. Belding: I know: obviously you've heard of me winning the 1963 Chubby Checker Twist-Off! Here's a taste! *singing and dancing by twisting his hips and legs* Let's twist again, like we did last Summer!
    Casey: *Stares up at him with a Jaw Drop*
    Mr. Belding: Yeah, let's twist again, like we did last year!
    • When later in the episode, Lisa sprains her ankle and her would-be dance partner will go with his back-up date to win, the boys go in on him:
    Zack: Hey, let's pants him!
    *The kid runs away as they start to advance on him*
    Slater: You better start runnin' now, punk, or there's gonna be a full moon!
    Screech: And don't ever show your face around here again! (Grabbing Slater's arm to "hold him back" as he looks at him in confusion* Hold me back, Slater! Hold me back! No one hurts my woman!
  • "The Fabulous Belding Boys" begins with their horrible history teacher, Mr. Dickerson. We see that based on how Zack telling the audience that he's even worse than getting four zits before a first date and when he greets him by saying good morning, his reply is an angry "Stop sucking up; it won't work!"
    • His "cramming" session before the big exam:
    Mr. Dickerson: Okay... *getting up into Screech's face* Who shot Lincoln, Screech?!
    Screech: It wasn't me!
    Jessie: John Wilkes Booth!
    Dickerson: When?!
    Lisa: 1865!
    Dickerson: Where?!
    Slater: Ford Theater!
    Dickerson: Successor?!
    Kelly: President Johnson!
    Dickerson: Which Johnson?!
    Zack: Magic Johnson! *he and several other students start laughing*
    Dickerson: Laugh now, loser! None of this is on the test! *laughs evilly*
    • Later on, while the gang tries to study but keep seeing Dickerson's taunting face everywhere, they decide to take a break and watch Fresh Prince. To their horror, he's on TV, too!
    Dickerson: *rapping* You think you're smart! You think you're hip! Put your books away, 'cuz there's no class trip!
    • The Running Gag of Screech being hit with notebooks for saying stupid things. It finally culminates in when Rod Belding says he'll give the students the grade that they think they deserve, he rationalizes in giving himself a B-minus. This time though, before the anyone else can land a hit, he hits himself with his folder first!
    • When the class is on a simulation of going whitewater rafting:
    Jessie: Oh, look at the trees!
    Kelly: And there's a deer drinking water!
    Screech: Where?! Where?!
    Lisa: Screech, you ninny! It's just pretend!
    Screech: If it's pretend, then why am I getting seasick? *groaning*
    Lisa: Because when you were little, you're Daddy bounced you on his knee and the ceiling was low.
  • "The Gift", where Screech is electrocuted and given psychic powers, which Zack naturally exploits:
    • When their Motor Mouth history teacher Mr. Testaverde (nicknamed "Terrible Testaverde" due to his difficult course and who is played by John Moschitta Jr., a.k.a., the FedEx and Micro Machines guy) is giving the lesson, the antics of the classroom in trying to keep up is as follow:
      • Screech is seen writing with two pencils simultaneously.
      • Jessie is struggling to take notes (albeit with her massive hair in the way) and is writing so fast, that smoke is soon emanating from her notebook.
      • Both Slater and Zack eventually Rage Quit in trying to take notes with the latter even putting on his headphones and reading a Wrestling magazine.
      • Mr. Testaverde's nonsequitor comments, of those that can be made out, includes "Stay back you, coward!" and "The Boston tea party, without sugar, lemon, or cream!"
    • Zack attempts to cheat his way to getting an A and fools the girls into thinking he had the answers, namely to get with Kelly and to win a bet with Slater. It goes as well as you think: Slater and Screech do well because they actually studied, Kelly gets a C-, Lisa gets a D+, Jessie gets a B, which devastates her so badly that she faints (and has to be carried out by her friends) and Slater proudly displays Zack's F--, "for scamming!".
    • When Screech loses his abilities, his answers are hilariously wrong. He sees Martha Washington Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze, sees The Battle of Saratoga as The Battle of the Network Stars and believes that Lincoln freed the Japanese.
  • "Rent-A-Pop" has Zack "employing' The Max's waiter, James, in a dual role: as both Mr. Belding and his father to avoid punishment for a parent-teacher conference over his failing grades. It starts with this exchange between Zack and Mr. Belding:
    Mr. Belding: Uh, Zack? Do you know what the letters "F", "F", "D" and "C"?
    Zack: "Fine-feathered dogs and cats"?
    Mr. Belding: No.
    Zack: Well, keep going; I love this game.
    Mr. Belding: "F", "F", "D" and "C" are your grades in Science, History, English and Math.
    Zack: *impressed* A "C" in Math? Hey, I didn't know I was doing that good! *to himself* Wow, a "C"...
    • When James acts as Zack's father, Derek:
    James!Derek: I don't think that two weeks of detention is fair...
    Zack: I agree.
    James!Derek: ...two months is more like it! And I want you to give him an extra four hours of homework a night!
    Mr. Belding: Oh, come on, Mr. Morris. Don't you think that you're overreacting?
    Zack: *whispering to him in annoyance* And over-acting?!
    Mr. Belding: I mean, who cares about algebra anyway?
    James!Derek: I care! Uh, I care.
    • When James acts as Mr. Belding:
    • He tries to compliment Mr. Morris on his tie:
    James!Belding: *whilst examining it* Nice tie...silk? *they accidentally bump heads with a "bonk!" sound when they collide*
    • He "displays" Zack's perfect grades:
    James!Belding: Trouble? Zack? Why, I don't think I ever heard those two words in the same sentence. I mean, just look at these grades: *speaking quickly whilst he closes the file just as fast on Mr. Morris* "A", "A", "A", "A", "A".
    • Screech managed to divert Belding by claiming that someone poisoned the chess team. When Belding then tries to summon help for the team who are all sick in the boy's room:
    Screech: Wait! *walkie-talkie falls out of the large sandwich he's carrying* Oops! Wow, that's the last time I order a sub with everything!
    • Zack has an Imagine Spot where he's Grounded Forever and he and his friends are now all really old people and the friends are about to see their favorite musical group, The Old Men On The Block. Additionally, Screech forgets who he is ("Hmm, I remember Screech! Cute little fella. Whatever happened to him?") and Zack learns that Slater and Kelly are a couple:
    Slater: *to Kelly* Come along, dear. Come along...
    Zack: Uh, "dear"? You and, uh, Slater?
    Kelly: Well, you haven't been around for 75 years, Zack. After 60, I got frisky!
  • "Fatal Distraction" has Zack bugging Jessie's slumber party to learn who Kelly was going to take to a school dance. When he does learn that Kelly would be taking him, he cheers in victory (and unintentionally ruining his plan by having the girls discover the hidden microphone) and yells out, "Go, Lakers! Did you see that shot?!" Kelly soon replies, "That's funny; the Lakers aren't even playing tonight!"
    • At one point they're discussing who they think is handsome, this exchange happens:
    Kelly: You know who I think is a dreamboat?
    Jessie: Who?
    Kelly: Dennis Quaid!
    *the other girls all swoon in agreement*
    Zack: *listening at home* That wuss?
    • Lisa admits that she would date someone who had the qualities of Michael Jackson, citing that he was "good-looking, talented, and light on his feet". This then inspires Screech to dress up as the man complete with his traditional black sequined jacket, black sunglasses, and one sequined white glove while doing some of his dance moves. Lisa could not have been more horrified:
    Lisa: Oh, my GOD!
    Screech: *in a falsetto voice* Huh, I'm not like other boys...
    Lisa: You're not like anything on this planet, you dork!
    Screech: How would you like to run away with me—
    Lisa: *grabbing his shirt* Screech, beat it or else I'll give you that high voice permanently!
    *Screech "moonwalks" away, only to bump into Mr. Belding*
    Mr. Belding: Excuse me, Michael. We have a dress code at this school. My office, now! *walking off with Screech*
    Screech: *while taking off his white glove and protesting in his normal voice* Mr. Belding! It's me, Screech!
  • "Operation: Zack":
    • When Screech wheels an injured Zack into the emergency room, he screams at the top of his lungs, "Lady with a baby!" as staffers jump out the way in alarm and one even drops a bunch of papers into the air.
    • As candy striper Lisa, Screech, and Mr. Belding are awaiting his test results, the worried principal (who accidentally collided with Zack and he bumped him and he fell, hurting his knee) frets as Screech looks at him in disdain as a "whaa-whaa-whaa" sound effect is heard.
    • Zack is able to convince an attractive nurse to massage his neck, this moment occurs:
    Slater: You know, my neck's been cramping up a lot lately...
    *Jessie slaps the back of his neck hard, surprising him*
    Jessie: Feeling better?
    Slater: Perfect.
    • When the gang tries to cheer up an upset Zack:
    Screech: We could use some cheering up. *pulls up a remote control* Let's watch some TV!
    Zack: No, no, Screech! That's the—! *bed wildly adjusts as the gang scream in shock and Zack cries, "My leg! My leg!"*
    Jessie: Screech, you pressed the wrong button! This button controls the TV!
    *the bed adjusts again as Zack cries out, "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! and the gang tries to control the bed, which they soon do*
    Zack: Will you stop helping me? You're gonna kill me!
    • Zack decides to escape to avoid having surgery. Dressing as a doctor, he hobbles around, lying to nurse that he's going to remove a patient's neck, tells her to put a patient having chills next to a guy with a fever to her confusion, and is then pulled into a room by another nurse who makes out with him. He then tells the audience, "Man, that is one sick lady!"
    • The ending has Lisa kicking his friends out, citing how he needs his rest after the surgery, only for this to happen:
    Screech: We can't leave yet! Gilligan's Island is on.
    Everyone else: What, uh— NO!

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