Funny / Questionable Content

Note: examples are sorted in numerical order — please insert new examples in their corresponding places. Exceptions may be made when a sequence of strips is nominated collectively.

Also, per wiki policy, this page is Spoilers Off.

• Why Marten is an atheist.
• "Oh, not too bad sweetie, I just got propositioned by a porpoise."
• DAMMIT STOP CONTROLLING MY BRAIN.
• "Someone call a Christian television station, we can make a killing either way."
• Marten does something about Pintsize.
• Deathbot-9000 would rather avoid internet drama.
• Now we're even. Bitch.
• Pintsize decides to declare his revenge upon the Roomba. In full samurai regalia. One has to wonder what variant of the Home Shopping Channel sells it in his size, though.
• Yet Again. Panels two and three (the sound effects, Marten's expressions) are pretty fantastic, but it's the robot's follow-up in panel four that seals it. Not to mention "mantenna array". Or the "Shatnerian" pain level.
• The strip where Vespavenger gets arrested by the cops.
  Officer: I got a cooler of cold brewskies in the trunk.
  Marten: Wait, what? You're drinking on the job?
  Officer: It's cool, I'm not driving. O'Malley is driving. And he is HIGH as HELL.
• The real reason Marten got fired from the morgue.
• Marten likes to pretend all of Dora's exes are dead.
  Marten: I like to pretend those people were killed in a series of separate and increasingly unlikely skiing accidents. Avalanche into a minefield, polar bear with a sniper rifle, yeti with a penchant for devouring ex-boyfriends...
• Faye's therapist suggests a way to deal with her sexual frustration. Faye has already tried it. It's not helping.
• What's the worst thing you can say during sex? Marten's answer: Happy birthday, Grandma!
  Customer: Oh...oh God, next time I get laid I'm totally gonna be thinking that! You've ruined sex for me!
  Marten: Sorry, someone already suggested "you've ruined sex for me." Nice try though!
• "Am I on FIRE?"
  Marten: No yelling in the library!
• Robot Fidel Castro will rub his pube-beard all over your ignorant capitalist faces!
• Comic no. 840, panel 4.
  Faye: He's skipping down the street. He is SKIPPING. You two WEREN'T at the hospital that whole time, were you!
  Dora: I'm not sayin' anything. Although I'm surprised he's not too sore to skip.
  Faye: A bluebird just landed on his shoulder! Random pedestrians are joining him in a complicated dance routine!
• Comic no. 895: Meena has a plan for messing with her masturbating ex's mind. (A LOT better than it sounds.)
• Assimilation.
• "No, you can not just run him through a wood-chipper first!"
• The Scarlet Letter.
• The final panel of this comic.
  Penelope: Look at it! Look at my ass and tell me it's pretty!
• Panels two and three of 1056 always make this troper giggle like a little girl.
  GONNNNNNNG
• Pintsize fights the Roomba.
• Aim. Right.
• Marten and Dora discussing alternative employment options in Experience Required.
• Hannelore's ideal man? Mr. Clean.
• "Really? Do you get the recurring dream where the rapping penis tells you to kill your friends too?"
  "My name is DJ Phalliz and I'm here to say... kill your friends. Kill them with a knife."
  • I cast magic missile, killing you both.
• The look on Sven's face in the last panel.
• Marten's plan to cheer up Dora.
  Dora: Oral sex?
  Marten: I was gonna say "cookies," but...
  Dora: Oral sex and THEN cookies?
• This strip is hilariously huggable.
  Marten: Mar marmar.
  Dora: Marrrrrrrr.
• The whole tapir arc. Followed by this. Poor Hannelore.
  • Giraffes? Giraffes!
• 1299. The noise and Hannelore's mortification over it are funny enough already, but Marten's remark just takes the cake.
• Wil decides to take his life on the road, as dramatically as possible. And then Penelope just gets dragged in to the overacting.
• This.
  Pintsize: MAHTEN ... MAHTEN ... COME OUTSIDE ...
• "CARNALLY. ON A REGULAR BASIS." Dora's facial expression takes the cake.
• A demonstration of Faye's boob power
• Strip 1349. Candles? Check. Rose petals? Check. Champagne? Check. Fake mustache? Priceless.
• Wil's vision quest.
• Steve can't sing.
• Yelling Bird gets his comeuppance. And the follow up which is possibly another awesome moment for Yelling Bird.
• Dora takes the very frustrated Faye to a sex toy shop, squicking out the poor girl. After complaining the whole time, after they leave the shop Faye asks "Can I have the next, like...hour off?" and jumps for joy when Dora says yes.
  • The strip immediately following it is even better:
    Marten: So, if you went with Faye, where's she been all this.... Oh.
    Faye: [walks in] Hey guys, what's... Goddamn it, you all know, don't you?
  • "You came too soon!"
• These are TIME SNOWBALLS, and they're achieving relativistic VELOCITY and they're gonna hit you twenty years in the FUTURE!
• It's the boner shark! The best part is Penelope's face in the background. A look of total resignation. You can totally tell she's thinking "It's gonna be one of those mornings..."
• Hannelore messing with her friends.
• QC Sock Puppet Theatre will never get old. (Well, maybe it'll get old eventually but it'll still be funny.)
• The Penalty Box.
• "Of course I was programmed! I'M A COMPUTER!"
• STOP HUGGING! STOP HUGGING!
• With Maximum Ridiculosity.
  Marten: I posit that ladies' bosoms are rad. Do you agree?
  Angus: Why, as a matter of fact, I do! Who would have guessed it?
  Marten: Excellent! I think this calls for another round of drinks. Bartender, fetch us some frosty beers and fancy outfits!
• TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO HUG!
• Penelope really had a good time with Wil.
  Penelope: I was being serious! I'm gonna have to wear a hat with a chinstrap tomorrow!
• "You're acquitted, and I'm sorry about the new dent."
• In the strip where Marigold gets up the courage to join the other guys in the bar, literally everyone in the bar gives her a heartwarming round of applause when she finally walks in—except for Faye, who can be seen in the background doing an eye roll because she bet the bartender twenty bucks that Marigold couldn't do it.
• "Look this is a delightful little heart-to-heart we're having but I have to PEE"
  Such subtle, complex humor! Truly this is my most nuanced work yet.
• Wil wears his best suit to a job interview.
• The punchline of this comic uses Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs rather hilariously.
• Momo versus the squirrel.
• "I FORGOT YOU WERE THERE!" Hannelore's expression in the final panel is what makes it.
• This exchange:
  Marigold: You can probably guess how many boyfriends I've had.
  Hannelore: Ummm....six?
  Marigold: You're off by six.
  Hannelore: Twelve!? Wow!
• I AM THE THUMBLORD!
• Marten's dad proposes to his boyfriend.
  • And they go celebrate.
• Oh Sousuke-kuuuun.
• Randy, manages to be so annoying that she even shuts up Yelling Bird.
  • Even funnier when you remember that only female marsupials have pouches, unless "Randy" isn't her name.
  • And then she makes a friend!
• Protip: don't get between Cosette and what she wants.
• Steve and Cosette on their first date. Cosette mentions that she was expecting something to go wrong.
  Steve: Haha, well, you know that picture of me flexin' in front of the grizzly bear? That's actually my girlfriend. But don't worry, we have an open relationship.
  [beat]
  Cosette: Meh, could be worse. You wanna come upstairs?
  Steve: Who the hell have you been going on dates with?
• The second attempt at a Roomba-jump.
• "WELP I'M GOIN' TO BED" It's Jeph's note at the bottom that seals it.
• Grind on my booty! Grind on my booty!
• Marigold tries bourbon. She coughs, spasms, and pants while her eyes water. As Faye puts it, she got dinner, drinks, AND a show!
• In this strip Steve and Marten admit to having drunkenly made out at one point. Dora and Faye's reaction? "RECREATE THIS. NOW."
• "Oh my god, you made a tiny Tyrannosaurus that poops espresso."
• OH GOD THEY TEAMED UP! — Where's the t-shirt of THAT?
  • Funnier because the next panel has Hanners taking it all in stride:
    Marten: There needs to be a word for those brief moments of clarity when you realize just how profoundly weird your life is.
    Hannelore: I take medication to prevent those moments. Want some?
• NO TIPS FOR ALLIANCE SCUM! *slam*
• "I think you mean riCOCKulous."
• The tactical TMI.
• That's probably not an overnight express.
  Steve: If you guys keep making fun of me I'm not gonna share any of my cookies.
  Tai: I promise not to seduce your girlfriend if I get a cookie!
• The hurricane of Accidental Innuendos that Hannelore drops.
• Every single strip in the hiring new Coffee of Doom employees storyline. Yes, all of them. In the interest of saving space, though, some highlights:
  • Faye teaching Hanners her contempt face.
  • Faye's reaction to Angus's kiss.
  • God dammit, Sven.
  • I... Wow. Yeah. Definitely discouraged me.
    • Apparently Dora objects.
    • Faye figures out how Sven would seduce Hanners.
    • OH MY GOD WHERE IS OUR FOOD.
    • Herp. Derp.
    • Faye, Dora, and Pintsize react to Hannelore giving Sven a goodnight hug.
    • Better Than You Can Imagine is a guaranteed giggle-inducer. Even the guys want Sven. Or more specifically, his butt.
• I knew I shoulda kept walking when you said, "hey"...
• Can You Really Blame Him. Marten's face in panel four is priceless.
  Faye: Oh, all right. The ears dig into my tummy when I sit down, anyway.
  Marten: Yessss
• Dale's epic stealth skillz.
• Sssshhhhh...
• He misses your body
• 1812... the last two panels are just gold. Also doubles as a bit of a Mood Whiplash.
  • Panels 1 and 2: Drinking to get over a breakup. Panels 3 and 4: Drinking to purge the sight from his eyes.
• Faye's bra goes missing.
  Faye: Could... could the SHEER INTENSITY of our make-outs have VAPORIZED my lady-holsters?
  Angus: Maybe it's some kind of quantum tunnelling effect. Lemme go check and see if Marigold has two bras now.
• "Goddamnit, you showed them the picture of me with the dildo, didn't you."
  • The photo in question. Extra points for it really being a cute picture. And the comment below the comic. "YES"
• THIS PLACE IS A BUTT AND YOU ARE ALSO A BUTT
• Pintsize's weird way of helping Marten sleep.
• Best instant flash mob support group EVER.
• Steve gives Marten too much TMI. It's... definitely one of those things you don't just spring on a dude.
  • Also, notice that the little white dots that usually appear next to characters' heads to signify drunkenness disappear from Marten. Therefore, he must have been shocked into sobriety, with a verbal equivalent of the Hideous Hangover Cure!
• I'm not Marigold, I'm Hannelore!
• Several strips in close succession:
  • Worst sexual euphemism ever?
  • The whole thing^note Angus's booty dance, but the expressions in the fifth panel take the cake.
  • "Happy Arbor Day 2003?"
  • Daaaaaaaaaaaaang.^note "Yo, dude, you finally tap that ass?"
• Clinton's robotic hand, and its semi-autonomous mode.
• "Ah, but what if you put a male Okapi in space?"
  Hanners: *horrified look*
• Step 1: Wil orders pizza. Step 2: Penelope answers the door. Step 3: AAAAAAAAAAAA Doubles as a Mind Screw as well.
• Faye short-circuits Hannelore's freakout without even noticing.
• "You're my boafregh."
• Still the best instant flash mob support group ever.
  Jeph: Which Bro is your favorite? I think mine is Chunky Bro.
• Jim's daughter Samantha calls to see when he'll be home.
• Turns out Dora and Marten's reunionhad an audience.
• Another series of strips:
  • What Marten wants from life.
  • Where Marten goes when he's looking for Hannelore.
  • Tone Poem.^note "Yeah, turns out it's really hard to tune my guitar by ear when you guys are playing at the same time."
• Synchronized sleep deprivation.
• Shebly's explanation for how he was able to interrupt Yelling Bird's filler strip.
  Shebly: I ran into the door until it broke!
• Marty's face in the last panel as Samantha tries to get Momo to show off her electronic self-defense capacity.
• Marten trying to sneak in some last words when Elliot drags him off.
• All hail Froglord, king of the amphibians!
• This:
  Angus: Duck... Duck... Duck...
  Faye: What are you-
  Angus: SSH. Duck... Duck... Boobs!
  Faye: ARGAFARGL YOU ARE SO DEAD
• "Thank you, Hannelore."
• Momo's face as she reads the "Applied Robotics" catalog.
• Marten's "[lI-just-got-laid-and-now-I'm-catatonic" face in this comic. You know you have a Crowning Moment Of Funny when even the comic's author laughs at it.
• Momo receives her first paycheck.
• "Welp, now I've drawn a holographic dong in the comic."
• "Marten, no! You still have your... mass."
• HERE'S TO PRINCIPLE
  • "We are all going to die." "PROBABLY NOT"
  • "WOO"
• Station's automated Kill-droids lament that it's just a false alert.
  Kill-Droid: AWW! We never get to kill ANYBODY!
• Sleep deprivation results in some funny faces. More so from a hologram.
• These strips.^note Hannelore and Marigold posing Momo with Winslow. This probably is how cults get started.
  YESSSS
• Mr. Farmer stops by.
• Marten starts in on training the new summer interns at the library.
  Marten [continuing his guided tour]: This is a bookshelf!
  Claire: Is this some kind of weird hazing ritual?
  Gabby [furiously taking notes]: Shhh!
• Birthday Man meets Balloon Horse, and it is adorable.
• Faye is bothering Dora about a potential relationship with Tai. In any way she can.
• After Emily spills the beans on Marten talking to Dora about Tai.
  Tai: You are a terrible friend.
  Marten [to Emily]: You're also a terrible friend.
  Emily [delightedly]: We're friends?
• Emily discovers another of Momo's weird functions. Hilarity Ensues.
• "WELL MAYBE WE DON'T NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERY TIME ONE OF US IS DOING SEX STUFF"
  • The follow-up: "I WAS EXAGGERATING"
• Marigold likes video games.
• "Muskrat muskrat muskrat muskrat"
• Dora and Tai arrive at the wrong house.
• The Beat Panel after Claire gives an alternate reason for Clinton's robotic hand.
• Dude we have talked about this. And indeed they have!
• Number 2330: Friendquaintances.
• Emily lays a Critical Hit on Pintsize For 9999 Damage.
• In which we learn a little bit about the biology of the Shame Orb. Brain Bleach, please!
• Fluff fluff fluff, fluffy fluffy fluffy...
  • The newspost sells it with a Flat "What".
• Arms Race
  • Emily that is not funny that is grotesque
• Claire meets Henry and Maurice. The latter says Henry has a really big -
  Marten: I'LL BE AT THE BAR WITH MOM.
  • Seriously, his 401k is tremendous.
  • Looking closely at the strip will reveal that Marten and Henry have the same "oh god stop talking" face.
• That's good scotch.
• Apparently, Black Flag was the Reeds' wedding band.
  Marten: YOU ARE SHITTING ME.
• The story of how Marten's parents met.
  Veronica: You know that scene in Lady and the Tramp where they're slurping up both ends of a noodle and end up kissing?
  Marten: Y-yes.
  Veronica: It was like that, but with a line of cocaine instead of pasta.
  • In that same strip, Claire drinking scotch...with a straw.
• Terrifying levels of subtlety.
• Marigold helps Hannelore recover from a fever.
• Some things are really better off left unsaid.
• Clinton blurting out a thank you to Marten for being a gentleman when Claire fell asleep on him while Claire was present and not seeing a problem with that.
• Release the virus.
• These lines:
  Amir: Dude, I just popped the biggest boner.
  Marten: Me too.
  Hannelore: Too much information!
• Another one lampshaded by Jeph himself: THIS GUITAR SOLO IS MEANT TO EVOKE THE UNRELENTING BRUTALITY OF HARVESTING CARROTS.
• Hanners and Marten officially acknowledge Claire as part of their circle of friends.
  Claire: O-oh! I, um, thank you. I'm glad to be-
  Hannelore: LET THE RITUAL OF WELCOMING BEGIN
  Marten: FETCH THE INITIATION PADDLE
  • Bonus points when Pintsize actually shows up with a paddle.^note Possibly the same paddle Faye threatened Penelope with when she started at Coffee of Doom.
  • Pap pap pap pap pap pap.
• I WANNA GO TO THE SPIDER ZONE.
  • The next day: I don't like the spider zone.
• And Then Claire Died.
  Marten: CAMPING. She means camping.
  Emily: If you can pitch a tent, then sure!
  Claire, holding in laughter: *PFFFFF*

Jeph: Her head exploded.

• Dale's AR glasses.
  Dale: Glasses, google "why would an AnthroPC need to go to the bathroom." *yanks glasses off* SAFESEARCH ON! SAFESEARCH ON!
  Jeph comment: Whatever it is, it cannot be good.
• The storyline where Dale is offered a chance to participate in his AR glasses' virtual companion service.
  • ...while he's just waking up in bed.
    Dale: NOPE
    Hologram: M-master! Wait!
    Jeph comment: WELCOME TO ANIME HELL
  • "I am trying to drive"
  • "I WANNA BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAAAAAAAAAS"
  • "If that's the case, WHY ARE YOU FUCKING THIS UP SO MUCH?"
  • Faye tries on the glasses for a moment.
  • May meets Marigold.
  • May meets Marigold, Part II
• Right after they call Dale to see if he wants to work at Coffee of Doom.
• Tai evaluates Coffee of Doom's newest employee.
• Pintsize's attempt to help Marten sleep gets a Call-Back in a recent strip.
• From Marigold's anime night with Dale:
  • Marigold asking Hannelore what to wear.
  • do you want to watch some anime (Just watch how their body language gets more and more exaggerated with each panel. Dale is sweating bullets.)
  • She Thinks I'm Pretty
• Dale asks Angus how to go about asking out Marigold. Faye is initially dismissive of the idea, until she stops and thinks about it and realizes Angus was actually pretty suave about it.
  Dale: Teach me your ways, master.
  Angus: Step one is to be extremely afraid of your quarry.
• Dale's Cuteness Proximity reaction to Marigold's sneeze.
  Dale: (absolutely gushing) Was that a sneeze?
  Marigold: Sh-shut up!
• NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  • As further clarification, Faye has just used "wicked" as an intensifier, and Angus points out that this means that she (who has often expressed pride at being a Southern girl) is now a New Englander. She doesn't just shout an elongated "no", but drops to her knees and screams at the ceiling in melodramatic fashion.
• The Bro Bros return.
• Marten gets drunk.
• Someone call Cirque du Soleil...
• The speed at which the mood changes is amazing.
• "Imagine what Emily would be like towards someone she had a crush on."
• A really depressing raison d'etre.
• Marten tells Tai that he and Claire are dating. Her expression says it all.
  Jeph: channeling my readers a bit here
• Marten's mom is very happy for him.
  Veronica: Surprise mom-selfie!
• Clinnnn-tonnnnn...
• Claire asking Marten if she can keep her glasses on the next time they have sex
• Number 2894: Eat That Foot. (What really makes it is Faye's reaction, of course.)
  Jeph: Marten you idiot
• LOOOOM
• "I do like flipping tables..."
• Marigold farted in front of Dale. A policeman started laughing as a result.
• ain't no baroness like an insane baroness
• ...I'm gonna hold on to it, just in case.
• I WILL BE YOUR SEABISCUIT
• The crew messing around with the pizza delivery beacon indoors had some unintended side effects.
• What kind of games do you play?
• Pintsize tries farting on May, and it turns equally hilarious and disgusting.
  Jeph: I will accept my Eisner now, thank you
• Bubbles tries some tea. She smells it and suddenly her mind is carried away to a peaceful forest next to a waterfall and unicorn.
  Hannelore: Do you like it?
  Bubbles: There...there was a unicorn...
  Hannelore: Oh, shoot. I steeped it too long.
  • In the following strip she's still enjoying the smell when Faye comes up...
  Faye: Hey Bubs, how're you—
  Bubbles: Do not disturb me while I am in Unicorn Grove.
  • ''DO NOT TAINT PEGASUS COVE WITH TALK OF DILDOS''
  Hanners: Pegasus success!
  • In this one a substandard cup of tea takes Bubbles' mind to a world that looks like a child's colored pencil scribble drawing. She pouts and quivers a bit in disappointment.
• This comic isn't exactly remarkable, but it features Claire pulling a pen out of her ponytail. Jeph comments:
  She keeps an entire stationery set in there.
• "I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO POOP HAMBURGERS, IS THAT SO WRONG"
• Turns out that Claire can deliver some weapons-grade sarcasm.
• Corpse Witch advises Faye not to attempt to sympathise with an angry Bubbles, because 'Bubbles can be...VIOLENT when she's upset.' Faye does so anyway. Bubbles does not get violent and indeed is cheered up (a little.) What redeems this sweet if rather Anvilicious little sequence about the importance of being there for your friends is the hilariously smug look on Faye's face when she confronts Corpse Witch afterwards.
  Corpse Witch: Fine, I admit it. You were ri-
  Faye: [singing] SO NO ONE TOLD YOU LIFE WAS GONNA BE THIS WAYYYY [CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP]
• Clinton: CALLING A CAB NOW
• When Brun is passed out drunk, Renee puts a "Not dead, just sleeping" sign on her.
• The entire last panel of this strip.
• Bubbles offers collateral.
• "Get to work, you two. I don't pay you to discuss theoretical muffin topology."
• Bubbles versus the liquor bottle.
• May and Momo discuss a Noodle Incident.
  • Said incident◊
• This strip.
  Hannelore: I was gone for ten minutes
• May's description on the cast page.
  A horrible, horrible robot. Went to Robot Jail. Got out, currently living with Dale.
• Pintsize getting May to sit on his face, and just not really feeling the thrill. What sells it is the bored look on May's face and the fact that they're just doing it in some random corridor.
  Pintsize: It just doesn't feel very transgressive when it's another robot doing it.
  May: I better still get my 20 bucks.
  • ...Followed by Pintsize sitting on May's face, and still not feeling the thrill.
    Pintsize: No, that didn't feel very transgressive either.
    May: That's forty bucks you owe me now.
  • Pintsize and Marten's bidding war over whether May should sit on Marten's face.
• "Would you like to come inside? We're about to peel off someone's face. :D"
• "...It's an app."
• "Let us consider that 'Plan C'."
• "We have never vomited before, but this may inspire us."
  • "You should try it sometime. It's a very intense experience."
• "A corner opposite Pintsize will suffice."
• Meet Arthur.
  Faye: And that was just for a plant. Imagine if she got a puppy.
  Bubbles: I would also name it Arthur.
  Claire: *whispering* omg Arfthur
• Bubbles' tea gives her peaceful fantastical visions. Roko's? Sexy horse-men.
• Wait, daycare?
• Jeph's comment here after a particularly Ship Tease-y moment that Claire stumbles across.
  Jeph: *Claire intensifies*
• Pintsize commissions a piece.
  Pintsize: Can you make me a big metal dick?
  Bubbles: *annoyed* No.
  Faye: *also annoyed* No.
  Pintsize: I can pay!
  Bubbles: *same tone* Yes.
  Faye: *also same tone* Sure.
  • "The hell is a 'Canadian Tire?'"
• The comment at the bottom of this strip.
• Claire and Brun, Two Pungeon Masters, meet. The best is the last one, which makes them laugh harder than all the others. The punchline? You're under arrest!
• "IN DROID 06 EXPERIENCE, EMOTIONAL EXPRESSION MORE DIFFICULT THEN CRUSHING BUILD, BUT POLICE NOT DISABLE DROID 06 WITH SHAPED CHARGE EXPLOSIVES IN RETALIATION"
• Bubbles meets Skull Master.
• "Now I am the Skull Master."
  Faye: USURPER
• Winston tries out puns.
  Winston: Ma'am-elore.
  Hannelore: No.
• When Amanda's bus comes back, she and her girlfriend Evie take Faye to dinner... and "talk" with her about Bubbles. Or rather, they try to nudge her into a Love Epiphany; Amanda nearly gives the game away several times.
  Evie: Pay no attention to Amanda. Focus on me.
• When Marigold has a fit of jealousy at the idea of Dale working with Emily, she immediately imagines a ludicrously Hotter and Sexier version of Dale and Emily engaged in corny porn-movie dialogue. Jeph even lampshades it by saying "it's very ''Oglaf-colored in Marigold's brain."
  Imaginary!Dale: Let's make some lattes. With my dick.
  Imaginary!Emily: [thong peeking out of her low-riding jeans] I want to do sex with you on top of the coffee grinder. While it's running.
  • Topped by the hilarious resentful scowl on Marigold's face when we come back to reality.
• "Oh my god I can hear the quotation marks."
• Brun discovers a cursed phrase.
• After Faye and Bubbles get a Relationship Upgrade, Pintsize comes in with his usual tact. Bubbles sets him straight.
  Bubbles: Such behavior indicates a deep-seated anxiety about the present situation, a fear of the kind of intimacy on display. A belief that you are unworthy of such intimacy yourself. Are you truly so devoid of self-esteem that you must resort to such immature distancing behavior? I pity you, and I pity the fact that my expression of pity will only reinforce the self-loathing you pretend you do not feel-
  Pintsize: (tearfully) please make her stop
  Faye: Holy shit
• Bubbles likes Faye's messed-up hair.
  Faye: Yeah, it's been doing that since we...since we first...you gave me permanent sex hair!
  • 660 strips later, Faye still has permanent sex hair.
• When Claire glows with pride at how "noble" Marten is, which is in realistic terms only a graphic way of conveying her inner fondness for him, Tai actually closes one eye because the glow is so blinding.
• Marten and Tai bonding over how much more cool and together their girlfriends are than themselves.
  Tai: [resignedly] You ever get the feeling like "okay you won the friggin' lottery with this one, don't fuck it up"
  Marten: GOD ALL THE TIME
• Spookybot shows up out of nowhere and scares the already pretty emotional Roko so bad, she slips into her native Bostonian.
  • Heck, Spookybot doesn't even need to actually show up.
• "No, I'm awake now. Tits."
• Claire experiments with weed. Being inexperienced, she hits it a little too hard. Tai isn't able to calm her down directly, so Claire's mother, whom they were getting high with, tries to pull an inception and follow her down the metaphorical hole to save her.
• Apparently Melon just erupts from time to time.
  [Melon is sitting at her kitchen counter staring into space and smiling. She starts to froth at the mouth, then a gigantic fountain of liquid bursts from her mouth and splashes on the ceiling.]
  Arthur: [giving her a thumbs-up] Ah, the old baking soda and vinegar volcano! Classic!
  Melon: [cheerfully] The what now?
• Roko gets crushed by Crushbot and while her AI survives intact, she's traumatised by the destruction of her body. However, what spurs her to move on and get a new one is the information that Melon has been sitting in a server room singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' to her 1257 times in a row, "for comfort".
  Roko: Oh God. I've heard Melon sing. Nobody should be subject to that. I'd better get back out there.
• Roko, still coming to terms with her new body and not entirely at home in it, worries that bread won't do anything for her anymore. Full of trepidation, she visits The Secret Bakery. Turns out that her new body very much likes bread.
• The gang's spectacular underreaction when Tai and Dora announce they're engaged.
  Dora: [she and Tai show off their rings with blissful smiles] We're engaged!
  Faye: [sagging with relief] Oh thank fuck she said yes.
  Bubbles: [solemn] It is a relief.
  Marten: [thoughtfully] God, I would have felt awful getting everyone's hopes up for nothing.
  Claire: I would have cried. A lot.
  Tai and Dora: [Death Glare]
  Faye: [weak half-smile] I mean, uh, that's amazing! Congrats!
  Bubbles: [solemn] It is joyous news.
  Marten: I knew Dora was gonna say yes, I just didn't wanna jinx it.
  Claire: I was going to cry either way!
• Marten's uncomfortable face as Tai and Dora are making out in public.
  Faye: Hands above the clothes, please!
• After a little light teasing, Sven and May unexpectedly hook up. The result involves an oven glove, a watermelon, some nunchucks, toilet paper and ''pints'' of lube (including WD-40). Even in the version censored for general viewing, it can be glimpsed beneath the censor bar that Sven is still wearing half a watermelon on his junk.
  Sven: [stunned expression] Not to be a dick about that, but that was weird.
  May: [wide-eyed smirk'] Yeah it was.
  • Bonus points for the title of this individual strip being the same as the title for the entire webcomic.
  • Then, while May is recharging:
    Sven: If you wanna go now, I could give you a piggyback ride.
    May: And let my roommates know we were fuckin'? Christ pissin' on the cross, I'd never live that down.
    Sven: If I Had a Nickel... for every time I've heard that before...^note Jeph: He'd have at least five dollars
• May's reticence about her hookup with Sven leads to Momo and Marigold theorizing she was out at an all-night petting zoo. This culminates in May letting Momo ask her one question:
  Momo: Was there a llama? I think llamas are really cute.
  May: Jesus shit, Momo! I ain't that kinda pervert!
  Momo: I... I have more questions now.
  • Momo is displeased about the whole situation because she herself fancies Sven. This annoys May because her best friend is pissed with her, so when Roko comes into May's store, May snaps at her. This in turn antagonises Roko, who goes full Boston on her:
  Roko: You ahn't the only person with proablems, an' you bein' shitty ain't gonna help anybody, ya little— Wait. You. You can be my first client!
  May: Client? I'm not gonna pay you to swear at me in a stupid Boston accent.
• As of strip #4042, Spookybot now has an official name: Yay Newfriend. Cue Roko trying desperately not to laugh.
  • It gets better immediately afterward, when Spookybot decides something about their new name.
  Spookybot: Also, we have decided that "Yay" is a hypocorism, a shortening of our full name.
  Roko: Which would be?
  Spookybot: Yaaaaaaaay
• When Hannelore unexpectedly returns from her travels, the first thing she does is hug Dora. Dora's reaction is to pull a ritual dagger on her.
  Dora: [deeply suspicious] Wait a minute. The real Hannelore would never have hugged me hello.
  Hannelore: [aghast] It's really me! I promise! I've just made some personal breakthroughs!
• Apparently, Bubbles can process contactless payments to the repair shop via fist-bump.
• Sven's latest, uh, masterpiece: "Did My Wife Leave Me or Is She Wearin' Realtree?"
• Bubbles is inordinately proud of how good she is at detecting things.
• Roko's lucid dream in all its low-rent glory.
  Ghost of Roko's Old Body: Anyway, I have come to bring you a message FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE OOOOOOOOO.
  Roko: You're not in a grave. You're in a recycling facility.
  Ghost of Roko's Old Body: Fuckin' work with me here god damn
• Faye, slightly envious that Sam is getting more customers than her, sarcastically calls her "Gentileschi." It's a little funny if you know your art history, but Jeph's commentary is what brings the joke home.
  Jeph: Sam would later become famous for her painting "Faye Beheading Pintsize"
• Keepin' it classy in strip #4186:
  Bubbles: I believe we are past the stage of maintaining scatological niceties in this household.
  Pintsize: FINALLY
  Jeph: please nominate me for a Hugo award
• Beepatrice is philosophical and accepting about Roko becoming her new boss... until Renee points out that she has no idea who Beeps is or what she's talking about.
  Beepatrice: Still, I can't help feeling a little melancholy. It's sad to give up on something, even if you know you're not cut out for it.
  Renee: [bemused] Yeah, that sounds rough. Who are you?
  Beepatrice: Oh, sorry, yes, hello. I'm Beepatrice. I live down the hall.
  Brun: If we leave the door open will more robots keep wandering in?
  Millefeuille: [cheerfully] Probably!
• It turns out that Beeps' morning was even more full of disaster than was suspected: not only did she waste hours pointlessly printing out a bunch of forms that could have been filled out online and then allow herself to be sold an expensive fountain pen when she could have got a cheap one, after which she gave over control of the non-profit to Roko: she went on to lose the piece of paper "with all the important passwords on it" and then knocked over the water cooler. Despite this, she considers her job "very fulfilling work".
• At Brun and Renee's housewarming party, Beepatrice and Millefeuille are having beers. In a series of beat panels, it's revealed that they both have a "Drinkr" app installed, which shows their drunkenness level, but Beepatrice only has the basic version, whereas Millefeuille has "Drinkr Pro". As soon as Millefeuille's progress bar is fully red, she gets squeans above her head, throws her arms in the air and goes "WOO".
• When Claire passes her librarian exams and they decide to celebrate at Coffee of Doom, Emily shows up with a gift of a theremin kit. Claire is delighted. She's slightly less delighted when Hannelore and Clinton also show up with identical theremin kits for her. The punchline is that Faye feels bad for not getting around to ordering her one.
• Bubbles is so nervous when Faye introduces her to her mom, that she starts talking like Faye:
  Bubbles: Y-yeah, we're pardners. We started up the business 'fore, uh, 'fore we realised our feelin's for each other.
  Faye: [incredulous sidelong glance] "Pardners"?
  • Immediately followed up by Faye and, indeed, her mom, each losing their patience in classic style:
    Faye: OH MY GOD I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE CAN WE PLEASE DROP THE FUCKIN' PRETENSE AND TALK ABOUT THIS LIKE ADULTS
    Mrs Whittaker: FUCKIN' YES PLEASE
• Hannelore asks Sven if he'd be interested in contributing towards a new body for May. The conversation is funny enough, but the funniest bit is the expression on Sven's face in the second frame where you can see him silently contemplating what it'd be like to have sex with May if her body didn't keep falling apart. The ensuing dialogue underlines this:
  Hannelore: If you aren't able to donate at this time, it's okay!
  Sven: No, no, I'd like to, I'm just trying to work through the ethics of donating to something I might directly benefit from.
  Hannelore: Oh, Sven, don't be silly! There's nothing unethical about feeling good for doing a good deed!
  Sven: [deadpan] Right. How silly of me.
• Elliot comes this close to admitting his crush on Clinton.
  Clinton: How do you go halfway on asking someone out?
  Elliot: W-well, you... you say something like "do you wanna go have lunch."
  Clinton: Ohh, I get it. Hanging out, not specifically a date.
  Elliot: Yeah.
  (Beat)
  Clinton: Wait a minute
  Elliot: ANYWAY I SHOULD PROBABLY GET BACK TO WORK, GOOD LUNCH
  Jeph: Finish your burrito, coward
• May's fundraiser goes better than expected, so she allows herself to start thinking seriously about buying a new body... and a corset and a spear to go with it.
  Momo: Not to rain on your parade, but we should probably check to see whether you are legally allowed to own a polearm.
• She might have a new body, but May's still the same old May.
  Melon: Yes, they're very impressive, but how do you FEEL?
  May: Well, I just found out I have an orifice management utility now, so pretty fuckin' good.
• When May hits her old body on the head (and not even very hard), it falls off and the neck catches fire.
• Marten's suggestion to Claire for a possible cover letter for her job applications to various libraries.
  Marten: "In conclusion, by the time you finish reading this sentence, you will already have hired me. Thank you and congratulations."
  Claire: Actually, I might use that last one. That's a power move.
  Jeph: don't try this at home
• Millefeuille's femur replacement goes well.^note Remember that she's one of the robots.
  Sam (in her Skullmaster mask): CAN SKULLMASTER, MASTER OF SKULLS, LAY CLAIM TO YOUR OLD LEG BONE?
  Millefeuille: Um, sure, I guess—
  Sam: SKULLMASTER, MASTER OF SKULLS, HAS OBTAINED THE LEGENDARY OBSIDIAN FEMUR OF GROBULAX
  Brun: Your last name is Grobulax?
• Marigold's hapless attempt to conceal from Dora how she's making so much money.
  • Followed by her equally hapless attempts to convince Dora that she's not actually doing what she said she was doing.
  • Followed, some time later, by Dale leaving Coffee of Doom to help Marigold run things behind the scenes. Dora is less "frustrated to lose an employee" and more "slowly going mad from still not knowing what's going on."
    Dora: First Hanners has to help with her finances, then she hires May as her manager, and now you're quitting to run her "web stuff?" What the fuck is Marigold doing?!
    Dale: I can't tell you, but I can say that if you found out, you'd be like "oh yeah, that totally makes sense."
    Dora: THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS SELLING NUDES
• Marten worries that May will be offended or insulted by Pintsize getting himself a human-style body mainly in order to troll Marten. In a rare (for him) moment of thoughtfulness, Pintsize decides to ask her if she's okay with it:
  May: HAW HAW HAW YOU MAGNIFICENT FUCKIN' BASTARD
• Now that Pintsize looks more human, he can't lech on women the way he used to:
  Pintsize: [to Willow] And it was nice meeting YOUR TI... Your ju... Your baz... [freaking out] I—I can't bring myself to say it! CURSE this new body and the no-doubt fascinating psychological implications of it changing my sense of propriety!
  Willow: From now on, I am referring to breasts as TIJUBAS. Tijubas tijubas tijubas.
• "If we contain multitudes, it is statistically likely that some of them will be stupid."
• After a very long and rather serious stretch of story about Clinton and Elliott finally getting together, and Yay confiding in Clinton's mom, the action returns to Marigold and Dale, and May as Marigold's new personal assistant, waking Marigold up by hitting a saucepan with a wooden spoon. It isn't the strip that's funny so much as Jeph's line at the bottom:
  Jeph's line at the bottom: TIME FOR THESE IDIOTS
• May strongly recommends that Marigold start an exercise regimen—specifically, yoga.
  Marigold: What, you're saying I'm too fat?! I hafta be one of those sexy streamers playing Zelda in a jacuzzi?
  May: Okay first of all that'd be hilarious, we oughta get your artist to do a jacuzzi overlay. Second ... Pick up that sock.
  (three panels of Marigold struggling to get down to the floor and stand back up)
  Marigold: '''THERE. SOCK. WHAT'S YOUR POINT.
• Despite her insecurity, Marigold ends up signing up for a yoga class with Hannelore. The first session goes about like you'd expect, complete with "She canna take any moor, cap'n!" jokes.
  • The Freeze-Frame Bonuses in that strip include an "Important Engine Thingy," one Marigold incarnation dressed in a navy uniform that says Yaoi on it and Marigold's "internal captain" dressing like she just stepped off the deck of the HMS Victory.
• The floating black slab that emits a low hum. Evidently all it wanted was a latte. And it left a 50% tip too.
  • Later Faye set it up with a cupholder.
    Faye: If that was an alien Von Neumann probe, that cupholder may be the only reason our solar system doesn't get eaten.
    Bubbles: Let us hope not. That suction cup will not function in outer space.
• Faye feels that the sight of Bubbles getting dressed requires accompaniment. Specifically, "Also Sprach Zarathustra".
• Samantha and her friend Emmett initially seem like an odd couple... until we find out the common-sense level that Emmett operates at.
  Beepatrice: You... you gave yourself an actual tattoo?
  Emmett: You can buy tattoo guns on the internet. An' there's tutorials you can watch on how to do 'em.
  Beepatrice: Y-you're joking, right?
  Emmett: No, really! You just type in somethin' like "How to do tattoos video" and there's tons of 'em!
  Sam: (gets out her phone)
  Faye: Samantha Bean, don't you dare
  • Naturally, Emmett's tattoo is of The Cool S.
  • As it turns out, Emmett's done a lot of crazy stuff, but they're considered unpopular because no one ever believes them.
• Roko and Yay picture what it would be like if Yay had a normal job, and Roko ends up turning it into an RPG. Melon bursts in wanting to play too. When told it's not really an RPG, she leaves and it's revealed that Elliot and Clinton are also bummed out.
  • The next strip then cuts to Roko actually DM-ing this office RPG. Elliott is roleplaying the copier.
• Once it became clear that both Marigold and Aurelia are Virtual YouTubers, a crossover became inevitable. However, this led to tonal dissonance, since Marigold's BurgerOni character is an evil demon while MommyMilkers is all about wholesome maternal energy. Thus, MommyMilkers attempts to go Darker and Edgier with a happy smile and the following statement:
  Rargh! Blagh! I'm MommyMilkers and I'm going to eat your butthole!
  • This is followed by a Beat panel of Visible Silence, including from the Twitch stream chat.
  • And then it only gets crazier.
    MommyMilkers: Goodness, is chat still going on about it?
    BurgerOni: It's not just chat, you're trending on Twitter now.
    MommyMilkers: How exciting! That hasn't happened since the time I discovered my avatar was anatomically correct!
    BurgerOni: What
    MommyMilkers: I should text the kids. "Dearest... offspring... you might... want to avoid... the internet... for a while. Mommy's... trending... again."
    BurgerOni: I'm a literal chaos demon and I'm struggling with the levels of chaos energy in this stream.
• Marigold tries to talk Dale into buying a house after inviting Aurelia over to their apartment, which she feels is too unimpressive:
  Dale I think you're being a little hasty-
  Marigold: May. You're my manager, Should I buy a house.
  May: Buy ME a house. You and Dale can live in the basement.
  Dale: Foul enchantress! Tempting me with the siren's song of the Gamer's Basement!
  Marigold: How do you buy a house, anyway? Is there some kind of website?
  Jeph: there's a couple websites yeah.
• Moray X-21 interviews Claire for a job while sitting on a table which has a label on it that reads "DO NOT SIT This means you, Moray"
• Yay's hilariously disgruntled goblin-face when Aurelia is telling Marten and Claire the story of how Yay hid up a tree when Aurelia caught them lurking outside her house.
• In a strip where Yay is eavesdropping on Cubetown, the AI community, for once, Jeph's rant is the funniest thing:
  Claire: Can you imagine if Clinton were here right now?
  Marten: Yeah, we'd all be freaking out because his head exploded.
  Jeph: And then Elliot would cry and it'd be a whole THING
• Marten talks with his mom about visiting Cubetown. Samantha helps him pack.
  Veronica: Sam, wait, let me—
  Sam: It's fine, I can do it!
  (Beat)
  Sam: HANG ON THERE'S STUFF IN IT
  Veronica: SAMANTHA BEAN DON'T YOU DARE OPEN THAT SUITCASE
  Sam: DON'T WORRY IT'S JUST SOME SHOES
  Veronica: oh thank god
  Sam: AND A WHIP. AND SOME HANDCUFFS?
  Veronica: THAT'S NOT MY CARRY-ON, THOSE WOULD NEVER GET THROUGH SECURITY. ALSO YOU'RE GROUNDED.
  • Marten's expressions through all of this are gold, too.
• Inspired by Faye's reversion to her old accent, Bubbles wonders if she should stop using contractions all the time.
  Bubbles: Would it be strange or offputting if I were to render my speech patterns similarly colloquial?
  Faye: I dunno. Try sayin' that again, but more casual-like.
  Bubbles: Yo, would it be wicked fucked-up if I talked like a regular-ass person?
  Faye: PFF
  Bubbles: [blushing] I AM NEVER SPEAKING AGAIN
  Faye: [burying her face between Bubbles' boobs] Oh my god, no, you have to talk like that from now on The way your voice dropped when you cussed I'm dying
• Bubbles is becoming quite the snarker. Faye is viewing her phone:
  Faye: Horrible news.
  Bubbles: You just committed to purchasing a moribund social media platform for billions of dollars that you do not currently have?
• Liz may have few social skills, but she is exceptionally good at annoying Iris.
  Iris: What?
  Liz: I didn't say anything.
  Iris: I mean what do you want.
  Liz: I'm just standing here.
  Iris: There's plenty of other places to stand.
  Liz: So stand somewhere else if it bugs you.
  Iris: I was here first.
  Liz: That's okay, I don't mind.
  Iris: [seething] You're enjoying this, aren't you.
  Liz: No, I'm Liz. Nice to meet you.
  Iris: God damn it.

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