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Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
- Some of the wrong answers you can give to the introductory questions are quite funny.
Mia: You did pass the bar, didn't you?
- If you say Phoenix is the one on trial.
Phoenix: Oh, um, wasn't it Ms. Block? Ms. Cinder Block?Judge: The person in question was a victim of murder, not ill-conceived naming, Mr. Wright.
- If you choose "Cinder Block" as the victim.
Judge: If you wish to hang yourself, Mr. Wright, you're welcome to, but not inside my courtroom.
- Saying that the victim was strangled.
- Phoenix's expression when Sahwit throws his toupée at him. And the fact that Sawhit just ripped it off his head and threw it at Nick like that in the first place.
- If you claim that Sahwit knew that the statue was a clock because he "knew the victim":
Phoenix: Tell me, isn't it true that you knew the victim? In fact, you were one of her "sugar daddies"! Be frank with us, Mr. Sahwit!Sahwit: Hmph. "Frank"? I'm always "Frank"!
- Pressing at Frank Sahwit when he says "Terribly sorry about the misunderstanding" results in this gem:
Phoenix: Well, you just watch it!Phoenix: (Hmm, not much point pressing him on that one, is there?)
- Frank finally going down while foaming at the mouth.
- Presenting glass shards to Maya before she's found in the Detention Center results in her telling Phoenix he thinks it came from the light stand. What's funny is Phoenix's inner snark about this.
Phoenix: (Never heard of a glass lightstand before...)
- This hilarious exchange when Miles has trouble with Redd White at the start of the second half of the trial:
Edgeworth: Please state your full name.White: You wish to know the title of my personage?Edgeworth: Er... your name?White: Yes! That is what I said! Oh dear, do my locutions confuse?Edgeworth: *Signature one-handed desk slam* NAME!Phoenix: (These two are great together...)
- When Maya asks if Phoenix is going to be her attorney, one of the options is "Sorry, not a chance". Selecting it results in Phoenix attempting to joke around by pretending to say "not a chance" only to say "just kidding" immediately afterwards. While the bad joke didn't cheer her up, she eventually tries to play along by pretending to laugh just so that Phoenix doesn't feel bad about it, resulting in him getting confused on who's trying to cheer up who.
- Phoenix thinking about the murder weapon during his talk with Maya in Detention Center:
Phoenix: (That's "The Thinker" clock that Larry made. It practically qualifies as a serial murderer by now.)
- When Dick Gumshoe asks Phoenix what his name is, you can choose from three options on what Phoenix can call him. The first one is the correct answer. The funniness comes in when you choose one of the incorrect options.
Gumshoe: That's me! Don't step on my blue suede shoes... Wait! That's a song, pal!
- The first incorrect answer is "Detective Suedeshoes". Choose it and he unwittingly quotes a bit of the Elvis Presley song "Blue Suede Shoes" before he realizes what Phoenix just called him.
Gumshoe: G-Gumtree...? Gum doesn't grow on trees, pal! note
- The second one, "Gumtree", results in him Comically Missing the Point.
- If you press on Gumshoe's second testimony when he says he found a note next to Mia's body, Phoenix can propose three different options. The third one is "I did it". Choosing it goes as well as you'd expect.
- When Edgeworth points out the autopsy report Detective Gumshoe gave Phoenix is outdated, you can choose between three options to retort back. One of them is "I'm a sham!" Choose it, however, and Phoenix will smugly ask Gumshoe if he's calling Phoenix a fool because he believed the outdated report.
- "I object! That was... objectionable!"
- "I'll get to this woman's bottom! Wait... I mean... you know what I mean."
- April May repeatedly insults Phoenix's spiky hair. Eventually, we get this:
Phoenix: (That does it. When this trial's over, I'm shaving my head.)
- The bellboy is hilarious.
Phoenix: Are you sure you brought her that iced tea at exactly 9:00!?Bellboy: Ab-SO-lutely, sir.Phoenix: Ab-SO-lutely?Bellboy: Yes, sir. As in 'so very absolutely', sir. It's an endearing mannerism of mine.
- Phoenix thinking Grossberg and White are lovers.
Phoenix: (I guess I was wrong... but it felt so right!)
- There are two options in which you can present that theory. Only one of them advances the plot. The other nets you this gem:
- Mia possesses her sister just when everything looks hopeless, and Phoenix faints. Then he wakes up in the lobby, thinking he was just hallucinating in the shock of his defeat, and then Mia appears again, and he faints AGAIN.
- White's Villainous Breakdown.
- Oldbag's crush on Edgeworth.
- Phoenix, Edgeworth, and even the Judge struggling with Ms. Oldbag's name. Especially since unlike everyone else in the game, she's identified as "Oldbag" even before Phoenix learns her name.
- (No, this isn't a bad dream, Your Honor. Witness the power of the Oldbag...)
- "Objection! I...object to the witness's talkativeness!" "Objection sustained. The witness shall refrain from rambling on the stand."
- Phoenix and Maya are approaching the studios, which have been left unguarded because Oldbag is in custody.
Maya: H-hey! In the guard station! Look! She left her donuts!(Beat)Maya: What? I wasn't going to eat them!
- Accusing Cody of being the murderer:
Judge: So who was this person other than Mr. Powers that could have committed the murder?Phoenix: It was the grade-school boy! ... ... ... Why isn't anyone saying anything?Edgeworth: Bah! Are you seriously suggesting the boy did it, Mr. Wright!? "Grade-school boy kills veteran action star with spear!" For one thing, it was the Steel Samurai holding the murder weapon. Would you care to explain just how the boy was involved?Phoenix: (Hmm... maybe that was a dumb move on my part.)Maya: "Maybe"? "Maybe"!? How about "absolutely," Nick!
- There's a moment after the second day trial at the studio gates. Phoenix and Maya stumble across Oldbag. She's only saying "..." in response to what Phoenix and Maya are saying. Eventually, Maya says that since Oldbag isn't responding, they can eat the donuts. Oldbag finally speaks.
Oldbag: You eat, you die.
- The judge points out that Cody Hackins has a camera, which is prohibited in a courtroom.
Edgeworth: M-my apologies, Your Honor. He said he wouldn't testify if he couldn't bring it. I'd like special permission, if that's possible.Phoenix: Wait, so you're saying that you had to bargain terms with a kid... and you LOST?
- The moment when Cody, a grade schooler, first appears on the witness stand. Which is designed for adults.
Edgeworth: Your Honor. Perhaps you could arrange a box for him to stand on?
- This moment if you choose the wrong response:
Edgeworth: An... error? What's this all about!?Phoenix: Quite simply, the victim was Jack Hammer!Judge: ...Edgeworth: ...Courtroom: ...Judge: Umm... Mr. Wright? We all know that.Phoenix: Right.Judge: Perhaps you'd like to reconsider your last statement?Phoenix: ... I'm sorry. It was I who was wrong.Edgeworth: Okay, Wright! First you're right, now you're wrong!? Which is it!?
- This bit. Also shows how idiotic Phoenix can be:
Phoenix: There was no victim in this case!Judge: Wh-wh-what!? Has the defense taken leave of its senses!?Phoenix: Of course, Jack Hammer died. But the Steel Samurai fell too! It was a draw!OBJECTION!Edgeworth: ... Sorry. I was too shocked to say anything for a bit there. Listen, Wright! Only one person died in this incident, and that is Jack Hammer! Yet now you claim there "was no victim"? (slams desk) Are you insane?Phoenix: (Uh oh, he's pulling out all the stops now.)
- Sal Manella and his Leet Lingo, complete with ":(". That's pretty much it. And the few times Maya doesn't understand him, too.
Sal Manella: I, er, wolfed [the t-bone steak] down then.
- These answer choices:
Phoenix: Ms. Vasquez, how can a person eat a t-bone steak and not leave a bone behind? I think I know how!Choice 1: You ate the bone, too!Choice 2: You ate a boneless steak!Choice 3: You didn't eat the steak!
Phoenix: You ate the bone, too!
- If you pick Choice 1:
Maya: [looking at you funny] Um, Nick... are you sure? I mean, I love steak, but even I don't eat the bone!
Phoenix: Hey, I don't eat it either!
Judge: Mr. Wright! I, too, leave the bone.
Phoenix: Um, can I try that again?
Phoenix: Elementary! You were eating a boneless steak!Judge: ... Mr. Wright, say you are right... What would that prove?Phoenix: ... Um, right, Your Honor.
- Choice 2:
- Dee Vasquez tells Phoenix not to bang his desk. Followed up with this:
Edgeworth: *bangs his desk* Yeah, Mr. Wright! ...oops.
- "Objection! ... I was hoping to come up with a question while I was objecting, Your Honor... I didn't."
- And then he comes up with another. "Indeed! Verily, I say!... Ergo!"
- Also, based on dialogue options, Phoenix right before then: "I was hoping to come up with a question by slamming on my desk, Your Honor... I didn't."
- Judge: You have my sympathies.
- Phoenix being told by Dee Vasquez that he won their battle of wits.
Dee Vasquez: I lose. You win. It... was fun.Phoenix: (Inner Monologue) I... win!?Phoenix: ...Edgeworth: ...Judge: ...The Entire Courtroom: ...Phoenix: Umm... So... what happens next?Dee Vasquez: ?Phoenix: Don't "?" me! Don't you have anything to say!?Dee Vasquez: What would you like me to say?Phoenix: Huh? "I lost"? Something like that!Dee Vasquez: I just said that.Phoenix: W-wait, so you mean... Dee Vasquez! So, it was you? You killed Jack Hammer!Phoenix: ...Edgeworth: ...Judge: ...The Entire Courtroom: ...
- The fact that Manfred von Karma, with his very deep, very gravelly, rather demonic voice says things like "shut your pie hole!" in total seriousness.
- Also, the whole beginning scene, starting with when Phoenix tells Maya to take "a cold shower".
- Early on, von Karma keeps interrupting Phoenix's questions and he makes a short mental note:
Phoenix's Internal Monologue: Von Karma, I think I hate you.
- Von Karma telling the Judge how to run the trial.
- The scenes you get if you choose anything besides the metal detector when you go hunting for Gourdy. With Missile, if you head over to Larry's spot, he'll promptly eat all of the Samurai dogs and Nick'll have to foot the bill. Or if you choose the fishing pole and head to Lotta's, Maya will then attempt to fish in the lake, but then sets off Lotta's cameras. And again Phoenix is sent a large bill.
- And if you visit Lotta during that period without the Fishing Rod, Maya sneezes and sets off the camera again. Poor Phoenix.
- Honestly, the metal detector is the gift that keeps on giving. Since it's always the last 'secret weapon' you'll use, it stays curiously in your inventory. Even after a 'clearing out'. And then, bit by bit, you realise why you have it. That's when the laughter starts and you realize the other items were Joke Items.
- When the metal detector finds the air tank, you take it to Larry Butz. You can then say that it's his. Just the fact that the Objection music plays here as opposed to inside the courtroom is funny enough.
- Accusing Lotta:
Von Karma: Who but the defendant could have shot the victim!?Phoenix: Who else but the witness, Ms. Lotta Hart!Judge: Wh-what!? Do you have proof of this!?Phoenix: Proof-shmoof! Always with the proof! Oh... wait, I do need proof, don't I.Judge: Mr. Wright! I'll have you remember this is a court of law!Phoenix: (Uh oh. The Judge is mad.)
- On the second day of trial, Von Karma predicts that the trial will end in less than three minutes. It doesn't. His reaction is hilarious:
Von Karma: AARGH! Three minutes have passed!
- Made even better by the Judge's reaction:
Judge: I see. Well then, let's just take our time.
- Made even better by the Judge's reaction:
- Dissing off Larry:
Judge: What do you think about Mr. Butz's claim he heard the gunshot before midnight?Phoenix: Well... I guess, it had to have been Larry's mistake.Von Karma: Hah!Judge: Very well.Larry: W-w-waaaaait! I come up here, I give you a riveting testimony... And you laugh it off as some kinda mistake!? What about me!? How can you can yourself a friend, Nick? How!? Get used to disappointment!!!Phoenix: ...
- Phoenix and Maya attempting to talk to the caretaker of the boat rental shop. He's absolutely convinced that they're his kids Meg and Keith and he runs a pasta shop called the Wet Noodle. He's also prone to falling asleep standing up, complete with Snot Bubble. Basically, every bit of dialogue in that scene is hilarious. Until the parrot mentions DL-6, that is...
- Phoenix's snide remark about the way-too-apparent Steel Samurai figure near Gourd Lake suddenly gone. Was out of the blue and brilliant.
Phoenix: Huh? The Steel Eyesore is missing...
- Maya electrocuting everybody.
Gumshoe: Woooooooooyaaah, pal!
- The Judge asks for the Old Caretaker's name, this is what Phoenix can say:
Phoenix: His name... is Gregory Edgeworth! ...Judge: Er... Mr. Wright? All of us here remember what Gregory Edgeworth looked like. (points to the old caretaker) And he looked nothing like this, believe me.Phoenix: (Wow... that's pretty harsh, Your Honor...)
- Choice 1:
Phoenix: His name... is Robert Hammond!Judge: ... Mr. Wright. Robert Hammond is the name of the victim in this case.Phoenix: Uh...Judge: Generally, the victim in a murder case is no longer living.Phoenix: That's true...Judge: Please, try again.
- Choice 2:
- When Phoenix Wright cross-examines the Old Caretaker's parrot Polly, he concludes that the Old Caretaker named his parrot after his deceased fiancee. However, Manfred von Karma objects to this idea with a rather hilarious comeback.
Manfred von Karma: Bah! A mere coincidence, that's all! My granddaughter has a dog she calls "Phoenix". (Snaps fingers) Well, Mr. Phoenix Wright? Does this make you my granddaughter's fiancee!? She's only seven years old!!!Manfred von Karma: I set my ATM card's number as 0001, because I'm number one!
- The fact that they are cross-examining a parrot itself. Everyone is aware of how ridiculous the situation is, but Phoenix still goes through with it because it's the only option left. And then, he has to get Maya to help out because she's the only one who can get the parrot to talk.
- "Whoooooooop! ...I feel foolish."
- And from the epilogue:
Gumshoe: Mr. Edgeworth came in to wish me a happy New Year's the other day! Talk about a pleasant surprise, pal! He said...Edgeworth: Whoooooooooooop! Detective Gumshoooooooooooooe!Gumshoe: ...then he hung his head low and walked out the door. Kinda strange if you ask me...
- And from the epilogue:
- This case kicked off the Running Gag of Phoenix being intimidated by the bookshelf in his office.
Phoenix: Difficult-looking legal books stand in a formidable row. They mock me. I tried reading one and it made my head hurt. When I closed it, it slipped out of my hand. Then my foot hurt too.
- As an attempt to move the body was foiled, the body was left partially in the trunk of a car, which white tape was set to reflect. Ema comes to the conclusion that the victim died exactly in that spot, by having the trunk slammed on him.
- Discovering that Wendy Oldbag has sent Edgeworth a huge bouquet, which he still has on his desk.
- Phoenix and Ema are sent to investigate a certain prosecution office. While there, Ema notes that based on her deductions, the person who owns the office is "a real stuck-up jerk". Cue the reveal that it's Edgeworth's office... and he heard everything. Poor Ema, who looks up to Edgeworth, completely flips out and starts trying to backpedal, while he teases her by asking "What is it you've come here for? Though be warned, I have been known to be a... real stuck-up jerk." And after you start discussing details of the crime with him, Ema will mention how the body was found in some hideous, gaudy red sports car. Edgeworth's response is pretty much "I know. It's my car." And Ema freaks out and starts backpedaling some more.
- Edgeworth getting pissed when Phoenix teases him over the King of Prosecutors award. "You can take that foolish grin of yours elsewhere!"
- Later in Edgeworth's office, he tells you a story about the origin of the Prosecutor's Trophy and of the Chinese word for "contradiction". Upon realising a contradiction in the story, Phoenix yells "OBJECTION!" and Pursuit ~ Cornered actually starts up. Bonus points when counted as a Genius Bilingual Bonus: Anyone who's studied the Chinese language will know that the word for "contradiction" is "máodùn" (矛盾), with the word "máo" (矛) meaning "spear" or "halberd", and the word "dùn" (盾) meaning "shield".
- Phoenix: Y-you can't testify as to her ability to kill an egg! I mean, a person!
- Angel tries to continue the trial after the judge declares court is adjourned... using the power of a jumbo lunchbox, complete with sparkling sound effects.
Judge: Wooo hoo! A triple-decker!
- In the first trial, after Phoenix points out the first objection over the photograph, Edgeworth is silent and when asked for a response, he flatly replies with "Objection" in the text box rather than the usual and iconic vocalized "OBJECTION!" that the series is known for.
Phoenix: That had to be the weakest "objection" ever, Edgeworth.Edgeworth: Yet it was still stronger than your ever feeble mind, Mr. Wright.
- Selecting the wrong location where Angel witnessed the murder leads to this:
Phoenix: I think! I mean, it's highly likely that's where she was.Angel: You "think"?Edgeworth: It's "highly likely"?Ema: Your cavalier attitude stands in stark contrast to your feeble argument, Mr. Wright.Edgeworth: Her being there wouldn't change a thing!
- If you choose Lighting as the difference in Angel's testimony:
Phoenix: It's a difference in lighting!Judge: Lighting...? What does that mean!?Phoenix: Well, it means, uh... See the security guard station is on the second level... So, uh, she would've seen the crime in better lighting conditions.Judge: And this is important... why?Phoenix: Um...Judge: ...Phoenix: ...
- Damon Gant schooling Edgeworth when he shows up in the first day of the trial and pointing out that everything he yells at Gant for is technically... completely and totally Edgeworth's fault.
- Detective Gumshoe heads off to give Edgeworth his "report", which is literally just the words "No problems" scribbled on the back of a flyer. When you catch up with Edgeworth, he says that he did get some information from the detective and is asked if it was helpful. He gives his thin-lipped smile and responds:
Edgeworth: Apparently, a new French restaurant is opening near here. I think he was trying to console me, somehow.
- Hilarious in Hindsight if you've played the third game: The restaurant in question is actually Trés Bien.
- There's also this exchange, some time after Jake Marshall starts a "number of words" type challenge:
Edgeworth: If you have a response, make it one word or less.
Edgeworth: I rest my case.
- Most of the Judge's dialogue.
Judge: Well, people sometimes mistake my beard... for a bib.
- It's funnier by Phoenix's internal response: (A judge with a bib. That's why this place feels so much like kindergarten sometimes.)
- Although it may take the cake when Phoenix questions whether the Judge can uphold a witness's testimony. The Judge yells "NOOOOOO!" and the screen fades to black. The screen then relights, and...
Judge: Do you mean to tell me that despite the Chief's formidable appearance... he plays with puppets?!(Beat)Judge: Oh, wait. You must mean 'puppet' as in someone forced to do his bidding... Never mind!
- Earlier, when Phoenix brings up the possibility of Damon Gant using Lana Skye as a puppet:
- Everyone's reaction to seeing the Blue Badger for the first time:
Phoenix: (apparently just had an aneurysm)
Edgeworth: (WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN expression)
Mike Meekins: (stands there saluting like there's nothing wrong)
Judge: Well, I believe we're all thinking the same thing. How can we deal with these unsettling feelings stirred within us...?
Edgeworth: (slams table) What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood!?
- None of them ever quite recover from the trauma, as seen when the Blue Badger reappears on Edgeworth's half of Ema's drawing:
Judge: Is something wrong?
Phoenix: (Do you even have to ask?)
Edgeworth: MMMMM— Sorry, Your Honor. This is... that thing!
Judge: (wide-eyed) It's that thing!
- In addition, on certain browsers, right clicking the above link triggers the prompt "Search Google for MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM—".
Judge: This is that "Blue Badger" from before, right?
- Evidently the damage is so massive, that when Phoenix shows the court how a jar could look like the Blue Badger, everyone starts referring to it as so.
Lana: Oh, is he going to just speak the killer's name?
Edgeworth: If that thing could, I'm sure it would.
Phoenix: (Looks like everyone's forgotten this is just a jar.)
- Choosing the wrong spot on the video:
Phoenix: There! How's that for evidence!?Judge: ...Marshall: ...Edgeworth: Please allow me to apologize for my colleague, Your Honor. He gets carried away sometimes.Judge: Yes, well, this certainly isn't a first.Edgeworth: Will you forgive him too, Officer Marshall? He's not a bad man, just a bit... disillusioned.Marshall: Of course. I'm not the one to gun down unarmed boys.Phoenix: (Oh great, now Edgeworth is defending me. Guess that means I missed the mark.)
- "You're grinning like a schoolgirl on prom-night!"
- Damon Gant's smiling stare somehow manages to be simultaneously hilarious and absolutely terrifying.
- Pretty much anytime you get penalized and everyone else feels the need to point out how ridiculous your objection is.
Phoenix: TAKE THAT!Judge: Well, chief?Gant: So long as Mr. Wright is tossing out things regardless of their relevance, mind if I toss something too, Udgey? This shoe should do nicely. I'll chuck it right at you!Judge: You were always quite the joker, weren't you?Phoenix: (Oops... Looks like I got it wrong.)Judge: Don't "oops" me! Or I'll be the one throwing my shoe next! note[penalty]
- There's also this penalty line:
Judge: What part of [Ema's] picture... contradicts the autopsy report?Phoenix: TAKE THAT! Um, I think it's... uh, this part here?Judge: Hmm... I don't see what's so strange about that.Phoenix: That's because the drawing stinks!Edgeworth: ...Judge: ...Ema: ...Mr. Wright... How could you... *sniff*Edgeworth: The act of making an innocent girl cry should warrant the death penalty.[penalty]
- When connecting the blood dots on the jar:
Judge: I feel like I'm teaching handwriting to a pupil who is all thumbs.Edgeworth: I think you should make him write out "I won't do it again" 100 times.
- Right before that, even though it provides a bit of Mood Whiplash:
Phoenix: This is the message from the deceased!Judge: (nods his head) Right. Now then. This is the message from the judge![penalty]
- There's also this penalty line:
- The killer cheerfully admitting to hiding Goodman's body in Edgeworth's car and breaking the trunk in the process, saying that Edgeworth makes enough money that it shouldn't be a problem, much to Edgeworth's chagrin.
- Ema Skye's habit of evaluating ANYTHING observed by her, especially observing Edgeworth's courtroom jacket which is framed up on the wall like a painting as, Phoenix himself puts it.
Phoenix: There's a jacket hung up on the wall like a painting!Ema: The jacket seems to be high grade cashmere, italian styling, silk ruffles and gold-inset lining. I'd say the price of the jacket would be around $5,000.Phoenix: $5-5,000?!?!?Ema: On that note the suit you're wearing would be worth-Phoenix: That will be enough of that! I don't need my life evaluated thank you very much!
- Examine the Security Room when you first visit the Underground Parking Lot. Ema is convinced that's it's a café, of all things.
- The defendant is about to be declared guilty. In desperation, Phoenix objects, despite not knowing exactly what he should say.
Phoenix: This trial isn't over... until we give each piece of evidence proper consideration!Edgeworth: So, Wright... are you saying there's a problem with this latest piece of evidence?Phoenix: Yeah! (I'll think later.)
- Upon closer examining Edgeworth's survival-variety knife amply splattered with blood we get this gem:
Ema: This must be the victim's blood, right?Phoenix: Either that, or Edgeworth cut himself peeling an apple.Ema: What's Edgeworth doing with a knife like this anyway? Hey! Maybe he spends his weekends roughing in the wild!Phoenix: Edgeworth? In the wild? I think my fruit-peeling theory is more likely.Ema: Are you kidding? I always pictured him as an outdoorsman!Phoenix: (to himself) Now there's a scary thought...
- Examining the fence on Day 2 or 3 leads to Ema trying to climb the fence. She fails.
Phoenix: I-it's okay, don't cry. (Maybe there's a Lunchland Olympics team?)
- This episode's version of the "ladder vs. stepladder" debate is particularly funny, since it actually isn't a stepladder.
- You can examine the cop on the left side of the Criminal Affairs Department for some interesting dialogue.
Phoenix: That must be one of the detectives. He's mumbling something to himself.
Police: "I got it! I'm the culprit! Very clever indeed... who would have thought of multiple personalities? I don't see how else he could have done it. I guess it's time to get my head checked."
Phoenix: ...I think it's way past time for that.
Justice for All
- Mr. Wellington loves large bananas. That is all.
- This exchange. What's funnier is that she's right.
Maggey: It's not me, sir! I didn't kill him!Phoenix: Then how do you explain his dying message incriminating you?Maggey: ...it's a conspiracy!
- At some point you're required to present one of Phoenix's business cards as evidence. The Judge then thanks you, and hands you his own business card. It even gets added to the Court Record. You can try to read it to find out the Judge's name, but it turns out to be illegible.
Phoenix: The name on that card tells people who I am! It even told ME that I'm "Phoenix Wright"!Payne: ... (stares blankly at Phoenix)Wellington: ... (smiles smugly)Maya: ... (looks at Phoenix as if to say "You have GOT to be kidding me!")The Judge: ...Did you not know that?Phoenix: Nope!Payne: OBJECTION! Wh-wh-what's the meaning of this nonsense?!The Judge: Mr. Wright! Get a hold of yourself and start behaving like a proper lawyer! (hits Phoenix with a 70% penalty)Maya: Ouch. Talk about a tongue-lashing, Nick.
- The exchange that ensues if you choose to tell the Judge that the name on the card is what's important. On the one hand, it introduces you to just how punishing this game's penalty system can be, as it'll lead to an instant Game Over if you've had more than about two penalties up to this point. On the other hand, Phoenix kind of deserves everything he gets if he says this:
- Richard Wellington's multiple faces when he tries to prove his innocence.
- The entire scene where Phoenix talks to Pearls for the first time after Maya ask Phoenix to show her Magatama. However it seems Pearl knows him from Maya... and assumes something that makes Wright blush:
Pearl: Who are you?Phoenix: I'm Phoenix Wright. I, uh, worked with Maya…Pearl: ...You worked with Mystic Maya...? You... You're Mr. Nick, right?Phoenix: Uh, excuse me? (I bet I know who she picked "Nick" from...)Pearl: I know who you are. You're... You're Mystic Maya's... (Changes into a happy looks) "special someone"!Phoenix: WH-WH-WH-WHAT!?Pearl: So then... Of course! You're going to help Mystic Maya, aren't you? That's what you're going to do, right?Phoenix: W-Well, yeah...I will...Pearl: Oh wow... It's like a beautiful fairy tale! That earnest look shining brightly in your eyes... It must be true love...Phoenix: (Takes a blow) Wh-What!? (Why am I being boiled into a bright red lobster by this little kid!?)
Phoenix: Is my hair too spiky? Not spiky enough?
- Before that Pearl was crying leading to this gem:
Phoenix: (Ack! I'm in trouble now!! If Morgan sees us like this, I'll be the next one they're channeling...)
- Of course this doesn't stop there. Even Ini Miney (actually Mimi Miney) gives this line upon seeing Phoenix with Pearl:
Ini: Aww, she's, like, tooootally cute! Is she, like, your daughter?Phoenix: WH-What!? NO! (How old do you think I am!?)
- This last line becomes even more Hilarious in Hindsight given that Pearl is only about a year older than Phoenix's (adopted) daughter Trucy.
- Even before Maya gives Phoenix the Magatama to establish his bona-fides, when Pearl keeps running away from Phoenix every time he opens his mouth, you get this piece of self-reflection:
- Before that Pearl was crying leading to this gem:
- One part of Lotta's testimony requires you to press five statements, all of which you were there for. Hence, three of these result in Franziska forcing you to corroborate Lotta yourself. The best is when Lotta describes "Mr. Lawyer" breaking the door down.
Phoenix: (Finger outstretched) So, Let Me Get This Straight! This "Mr. Lawyer there" broke the door down!?Franziska: Honestly, Mr. Phoenix Wright. Why don't you tell us what happened then?Phoenix: Um... Yes, Ms. von Karma... I broke the door down. Sorry. (Why does this feel like an inquisition?)Lotta: No need for apologizin'! That was great! You're a real man!Judge: Oh really? That's something I would've liked to see.Phoenix: (The Judge is smiling rather openly. I'll take that as a good sign...)
Lotta: I-I declare! What in tarnation!? Hey, Judge! This here is violence against my fair self!Judge: That's fine.
- Then there's the part where Lotta protests against Franziska whipping her and complains to the judge:
- This exchange:
Ini: Are you really trusting the word of that fake, perverted doctor?
Phoenix: Yes, I am. And how did you know he was perverte- [von Karma cracks her whip]
- Every single scene with the imposter Director Hotti. Here and in Case 4 later on.
- "Mia, not you too! With the whip... and the pain... and the owww..."
- Presenting the wrong profile at end of the trial.
Judge: ... Would the defense please inform the court of its birth name?Phoenix: Umm... Phoenix Wright... Your Honor.Judge: Ah, what a relief. I thought you'd forgotten your own name... Again.Mia: I was beginning to think he forgot too.Phoenix: Wait a second... I screwed up didn't I?Mia: Big time.
- The ending of the trial. Franziska goes crazy and whips Phoenix unconscious. Although this is actually Phoenix's fault for shooting his mouth too soon:
Franziska: Th-This... This is preposterous! I... I'm perfect! Me... Franziska von Karma...Phoenix: I'm going to enjoy the news tonight, Ms. von Karma. How about you? It's going to be broadcast all over the world, right? Your defeat, that is...(Out of anger, Franziska whips Phoenix, the Judge and Mimi Miney once. She soon starts whipping Phoenix multiple times in a frenzy.)Franziska: And one more for good measure!(She whips Phoenix four times as Phoenix faints unconscious)Mia: Ph-Phoenix! Hang in there, Phoenix!! PHOENIX!!!Franziska: THIS COURT IS A FRAUD! A SHAM!
- When you examine the snack stand in the circus entrance, Maya will notice they are selling snow cones and asks Phoenix to buy some. This conversation is the result:
Maya: Nick... Do you think we can buy some snow cones?Phoenix: Look around... There's tons of snow pilled up all around here!Maya: (nods) YAY!!! Wait a second... There's no syrup though! I want syrup!Phoenix: (Hopefully she doesn't notice that discolored snow in the corner. That's not syrup!)
- Phoenix's reaction to all the Ringmaster's donations to the Robot Clown Research Center.
Phoenix: What!? They may be a perfectly reputable charity in the field of advanced tomfoolery!
- Moe asks Phoenix to stop being so down and deliver a "funny" joke himself.
Phoenix: Why am I, Phoenix Wright, such a great lawyer? Because I am "Wright" all of the time!(Cue awkward look from Maya and a dead stare from Moe)
- Don't worry, it eventually catches on.
- "Wonderful. Today's special must be Fillet O' Phoenix!"
- When Phoenix is attempting to get Money the Monkey to drop what he's holding, there are three options on how to act: "Man to Man", "Man to Monkey", and "Monkey to Monkey." "Monkey to Monkey" is by far the most humiliating for Phoenix and is hilarious.
- Ask Regina about the monkey, and she'll admit that even she has Money problems.
- "That monkey doesn't fake the funk on a nasty dunk."
- Just before the trial starts, Max is trying to come up with ways to wow the crowd like he would if he were performing, and asks if it would be wise to fly in. Phoenix and Maya convince him not to, but right before leaving he suggests having Phoenix fly:
Max: (to Phoenix) Why don’t you try flying into the courtroom?Phoenix: ...Max: I can see it now… The dashing young lawyer flying fabulously in from above! One glimpse of that, and everyone in the room will be on your side!Maya: Max… Really… No one needs to fly today. ... Nick? What’s with that look in your eyes?Nick: (I like the sound of that… "Dashing young lawyer flying fabulously...")
- The start of the trial, where the Judge doesn't even get to finish his very first sentence before Franziska starts whipping everybody.
- Speaking of more whipping shenanigans, you know that "surprise take of everyone in the courtroom" scene that keeps happening throughout the series? Yeah, von Karma interrupts that with her whip.
- Puppet marriage rights. That is all.
- Everytime Trilo or Maya asks the court to call out Max's three symbols, the entire court responds with the answer: "SILK HAT! CLOAK! WHITE ROSES!" When Moe asks the court the same thing, he's simply met with, ".........."
- This line:
Trilo: Let me lay it out for you: The pay sucks, the job sucks, and my partner has his hand up my pants!
- Trilo's "Damaged" animation. It's more the face he makes than his arms and head flying off.
- During Trilo's cross-examination about proposing to Regina, pressing him on a certain statement will make him say that he had an engagement ring. Everyone's reaction to this is just all sorts of priceless.
- Franziska in particular does not find this amusing, and prepares her whip, to which Phoenix is given two options, one of which is "Pain equals bad."◊ Yes. We're serious.
- Once Phoenix reveals that Trilo lost said engagement ring, he then states that this reveals something important, and you're given two choices: "Ben's testimony has a flaw." and "Ben doesn't exercise enough." Pick the latter...
Phoenix: Obviously that one Mr. Benjamin Woodman is lacking in the area of exercise!!
Phoenix: This is clear from the testimony we have just listened to!! He was too slow and awkward to catch a monkey fleeing through the snow!! (This revelation doesn't seem to be registering too well around the courtroom...)
Maya: Maybe you should leave the courtroom drama for video games and rethink that one...
- From the same episode:
- Similarly, reciting the intro to "The C-Team" with references to clowns.
- Moe said that was because he was stalling while he tried to jog his memory. When he finally thought of something, the judge asks him if he's "back from [his] jog."
- "Objection! I... I... I object... For objection's sake..."
- Phoenix seems... very interested in Max's bust. He then tries to correct himself.
- Phoenix going after Money to retrieve Regina's jacket is funny enough on its own, but the music starts to play the "Cornered" theme as if the whole thing was entirely serious.
- Phoenix declaring that the victim was killed with "the force of gravity and Maximillion Galactica's ample bust". He means a bust of Max made of bronze, not Max's actual chest.
- The Judge allowing bailiff to smack people in the face if they make too much noise.
Judge: Twice, if you must!
- When Phoenix accuses Acro, his pet hummingbird decides to peck Phoenix repeatedly in the face.
- Phoenix is a poopyhead!!
- If you choose to not present evidence when the Judge asks how Acro killed the Ringmaster:
Franziska: Ahh... I think we will finally be graced with an explanation!
Phoenix: Don't push it, Von Karma!
Franziska: Wha... WHAT!?
Phoenix: You aren't gonna suck me in this time. I'm smart enough to know when I don't have the cards to play and my hand sucks right now.
Judge: ... Uhh... What do you mean, Mr. Wright?
Franziska: He means that everything he's said up until now has all been nonsense.
- Presenting the wrong thing when the Judge asks you what evidence you have that proves Acro's motive for killing the Ringmaster:
Phoenix: TAKE THAT!
Judge: Umm... Let me just go over this one more time... This is why Acro killed the Ringmaster?
Franziska: I don't think the defense would mind confirming something for me. What exactly are we supposed to learn from this piece of evidence?
Phoenix: What are you supposed to learn... Hmm...
Franziska: Looks like you just won the award for Biggest Failure In Court.
Maya: Ouch... Biggest Failure In Court... That stings!
Judge: In recognition of your honor, let me bestow you with my special prize!
- If you accuse that the bust is under either the Judge bench or Franziska's. Either take a 95% penalty or get KOed by a whip!
- The Judge's reaction if you accuse him of being the murderer near the very end. Even though it'll cause an instant game over if you've received so much as a single penalty during the second day of the trial, it's well worth doing so, just to see how hard the Judge can hit the Berserk Button. Two for the price of one penalty!
Phoenix: It's... Um... Um..................
Judge: W-W-W-What!? Why you did you stop talking all of a sudden!?
Phoenix: Well... I'm just not really sure if I should say anything or not because the bust is...
* Phoenix gets whipped*
Phoenix: Under Your Honor's bench!
Franziska: ...You had to think about whether it was a good idea to say that!?
Judge: GWWWAAAAAAAH?! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME!? THAT'S A PENALTY!!
Judge: WHAT'S THAT!? YOU WANT A DOUBLE!? HERE YA GO!!
Phoenix: Double arrrggghhh!
- The very fact alone this can easily cause an instant game over. It really just gives the image of the Judge getting fed up and declaring a guilty verdict just to spite Phoenix.
- Near the very end of the trial, we get this little gem:
Maya: Where is Max's bust...? The defense needs time to prepare to present it's lace... I mean case. Sorry, I'm a bit nervous and I just bit my tongue.Judge: Huh?Franziska: What?Phoenix (in signature finger-pointing pose): We need time to do WHAT!?!? (Gets whipped by Franziska) OWWW!!Franziska: Why are you the most surprised person here!? She's YOUR aide, isn't she!?
- Here is an official Spanish-English translation for Juan Corrida's last name. Apparently, that guy really was a dick.
- Gumshoe decides to give Pearl the marvelous advice of: "Don't ever pick up a whip, OK? Don't even think about it. If you ever find yourself thinking you want one, try to make do with a good slap to the face. Got that? Slap the person in the face."
- This becomes even funnier later on, since Pearls clearly takes this advice deeply to heart whenever she gets mad at Phoenix for what she perceives as cheating on Maya.
- Try to ask Oldbag about what she witnessed of the murder and you'll be presented with four Psyche-Locks. Looks like you have a daunting task ahead of you trying to pry that information out of her...until you come across the victim's autograph made out to a "Wendy" (Oldbag was a huge fan of his) and she'll want it so bad that all four locks will break at once.
- Yet another one involving Edgeworth: Just after he reappears, he reacts to hearing Engarde's motto, "Refreshing like a spring breeze," with a surprisingly vehement, "R- Refreshing?! And what is so refreshing about a spring breeze?!" Phoenix's internal commentary on the subject:
(Sounds like the pollen is not treating him well this year...)
- This exchange:
Gumshoe: Any real detective would look at his bandana!Judge: Mmm, banana.Edgeworth: That's bandana, Your Honor.Judge: Right, his banana-scented bandana.
- Edgeworth's back! He's calm, he's cool, he's collected, he's got a kickass new theme song and he's effortlessly shooting down any attempts on Phoenix's part to prove his client's innocence. Then Wendy Oldbag shows up on the witness stand and his composure instantly vanishes.
- A lot of stuff having to do with Oldbag:
- Edgeworth calling her "the wicked witch of the witness stand".
- Right before that, when she uses her ray gun, Edgeworth's calm composure goes out, and he again starts to resemble a zombie with the stomach flu.
- Her constant *rat-at-at-at* "tasering".
- Also, when Oldbag rants after being pressed a few times, an annoyed Edgeworth gives us this gem:
Edgeworth: You really should come with a supply of cheese to match your vintage whine.
- "This is my top secret list of groceries to buyyyyyyy!"
- "You're lying, dammit! And I can prove it!"
- The Something We Forgot scene involving her during the credits.
Oldbag: How long are they going to leave me screening the hotel?
- If you press Oldbag at the right time, Phoenix will get frustrated with her for stalling during her testimony, to which she'll react by stalling even longer by just singing the Nickel Samurai theme song until Edgeworth bribes her with a stick of gum.
Edgeworth: Wright, I'll be sending the bill for the chewing gum to your office at a later date.
- Which is immediately followed by Phoenix mentally making a note to respond to that with a "Thank You" letter.
- Oldbag's reaction when the Jammin' Ninja's Button, which is covered in blood, is presented in court.
Oldbag: Aaaah! It's button number 2 on the Jammin' Ninja's costume!Phoenix: (Now I KNOW she's an obsessed fan... She identified it in a single glance!)Oldbag: Give it here! Give it here! If you don't give it to me, I'll punish you with this! *uses her ray gun*Phoenix: (Wow... She really is a die-hard fan to want a button covered in blood...)
- Edgeworth saying, "This isn't the "Phoenix Wright Wax Philosophical Power Hour"!"
- If you select the wrong location on the Nickel Samurai photo. This happens:
Phoenix: The strange thing is somewhere around here! ...I think.Edgeworth: "Somewhere"...?Judge: "Around here"...?Mia: "I think"...?Phoenix: A-Am I seeing something you all are not...?Judge: Hmm, it looks like there was no problem with this photo after all.Edgeworth: The problem was with the brain of that lawyer, Your Honor.
- When Phoenix, Edgeworth, Gumshoe, and Pearl visit the hospital to see how Franziska was doing after being shot by De Killer in the shoulder they meet "Director Hotti" again. Edgeworth doesn't know that the "Director" is really a fake (Phoenix even comments on that). Here's as follows:
Hotti: [...]Hmm, yes...she's in good hands...because, you see...I'm personally taking good care of her...hee hee. Hmm, yes...and that thing...that surgery...it went well. [...] She looked so pitiful; absolutely terrified, [...] And when I snuck up on her real secret-like, she would scream really loud. Ah, but she's really cute too. When I'd do that, she'd whip me with her whip...Boy did I cry like a baby... But think I could get used to it. (Promptly gets whipped again).
- After that it's just the way that Franziska describes that Edgeworth had to grab and drag her by the wrist all the way to the hospital, since she wanted to prosecute today's trial. Just like a little kid. It's so cute, she really is just putting up a stubborn brave front in spite of her fear.
- Examining the giant stuffed bear in Juan Corrida's will eventually prompt it being added into the Court Record, with the line 'Bear snatched up by Edgeworth'. Just the mental image of Edgeworth struggling to get a life-sized bear statue out the door and then hauling it across town is enough to make anyone laugh. Or imagining him nonchalantly putting it in his pocket.
- "A THIRTY-EIGHT-HUNDRED DOLLAR TOOTHBRUSH?!" Engarde explains that it has elephant hair for bristles.
- Right before court begins on the second day, Phoenix gets a call from Engarde, taunting him about the fact that he's defending a guilty client. Shortly after, he gets another call...
Phoenix: (Argh! It's that accursed Engarde again...)Phone: '...*beep*...Phoenix: WILL YOU LEAVE ME ALONE!? Look, don't call me anymore! I mean it!Gumshoe: ...You're really mean, pal.
- Will Powers' testimony spurs some great one-liners from Phoenix:
Phoenix: (discussing whether Shelly de Killer disguised as the bellboy is suspicious) A baseball has stitches! Are you saying that all baseballs are suspicious because they have stitches?!Phoenix: A football is made of leather! Are you saying all footballs are suspicious because they are made of leather?!
Phoenix: HOLD IT! The defendant's room? Why did you go there?Powers: Well, I'm his mentor, like a big brother sort of, and I wanted to say congrats... ... ...Judge: Wh-What's wrong? Why did you stop?Powers: M-M-Mr. Wright!Phoenix: Wh-Wh-What is it?Powers: You... You're going to try to trick me into a corner, aren't you?Phoenix: Huh?Powers: I... I know I'm just a poor, underpaid action star, but... But... I... I'm not the killer!Phoenix: -sweating- Um, no one said you were, Mr. Powers.Powers: No, please! Don't trick me! Every time you do your lawyer thing, the witness suddenly turns into the bad guy...Phoenix: -sweating- ("Every time"...?)
- And even before that, there's an even better exchange.
- "If I could get huge rolls of cash just for bringing people things on trays, then why on Earth would I be standing around here prosecuting?!"
- The funniest part while pressing Andrews on her second statement is the Judge acting like a child when playing with the bear puzzle.
Andrews: If you know the correct order, it can be taken apart one piece at a time.
Phoenix: HOLD IT! So you can "take it apart"? And how would one go about doing that?
Andrews: Well, you first turn its tail to the right and then push it in.
Judge: [juggles with the bear] ...Oh, yes, I see.
Andrews: After that, the arms and legs are free to move and can be removed.
Judge: Ooh... [plays with the bear some more] This is most interesting...
Phoenix: [sweats] (A boy and his new toy... It's like he's 5 all over again...)
Judge: [juggles with the bear some more] ...Oh, don't mind me. Go ahead and carry on.
Phoenix: [sweats] (I think he's lost it...)
- Phoenix tossing his cellphone across the courtroom to Edgeworth. Take that! indeed.
- The developers found it necessary to animate the cellphone's Court Record picture spinning and shrinking right after that to simulate the phone throw. It is completely unnecessary and hilariously unexpected.
- Also, since they're in court, Edgeworth just TURNS IT OFF while Gumshoe's on the other end, going on about the evidence he got.
- When court reconvenes after the 30 minute recess in which the handwriting on the suicide note found in the bear puzzle is analyzed, both Phoenix and Edgeworth are doing their panicked animations (that is, flop sweat and zombie with stomach flu, respectively) as soon as they're asked whether they're ready to resume the trial.
- Late in the case, fail to provide a proper objection about why Engarde would want to obtain a suicide note that he would have known was a forgery and the judge will figure it out himself. But then Phoenix finishes his thought, leading the judge to get angry at him for stealing his thunder and give him another penalty.
Judge: I could've even bragged about embarrassing Mr. Edgeworth to my grandchild had you not...
- Interrogating de Killer via a transceiver. The transceiver's Face Faults (you read that right) are the icing on the cake. Also worthy of mention is the transceiver's sweating what seems to be battery acid while under pressure as well as breaking apart once taken by shock.
- The pressing of Shelly de Killer.
Phoenix: How much is your fee...?
de Killer: ... I see you are also quite a dark-hearted man, Mr. Attorney...
de Killer: If you would like to talk business, we can do so after the trial...
Phoenix: Ack! NONONO! I'm not thinking of hiring—
Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright!!
Judge: Y-Y-You... You want to kill me... You want me dead... DON'T YOU!?!?
Phoenix: Whaaaat!? Why would you think something like that, Your Hon—
Judge: Guilty! MR. PHOENIX WRIGHT! You are hereby declared GUILTY!!
Edgeworth: (completely unmoved) ...Witness. Let's continue.
- On that note, the fact that this witness constantly offers his services to Phoenix - even suggesting he become the next de Killer at one point - is hilarious in and of itself.
- Presenting the wrong evidence when trying to prove that de Killer met with his client:
Phoenix: So! What do you think!?
de Killer: ... You may say, "What do you think?"... However, I am for all intents and purposes, a transceiver radio.
Phoenix: Oh... That's right, you can't actually see the evidence...
de Killer: Well, I don't think this was one I needed to see. I can hear the pure silence in the air there.
- If you claim that de Killer's client wanted the tape so that they could watch Juan get murdered:
Phoenix: They wanted to witness the moment Juan Corrida died! Your client was going to sit on their fluffy soft sofa... Sip some coffee and pretend they were at a film festival!
de Killer: That... That's... I don't think that sounds like a very enjoyable hobby...
Phoenix: Well, Your Honor!?
Judge: ... Well, what do you think, Mr. Edgeworth...?
Edgeworth: Uh... Um... I... don't have anything to say to this...
Judge: Hmm... How about you, Ms. von Karma?
Franziska: ... Well, I was just shot, so...
- Maya couldn't help but change a relief moment into a laughing one: "H-Hey! I'm not an item!"
Trials and Tribulations
- Payne being so shocked at his defeat at the hands of Mia that HIS HAIR FLIES OFF OF HIS SCALP.
Payne: Nooooooo! My hair is flying ooooooofffffffff!
- This line:
- There's also this absolute gem from Mia in the very beginning, where Grossberg says "You've made our client cry!" and she responds, "Let him! That 'P' on his sweater doesn't stand for Phoenix!" Think about it for a little while.
- It's funny how much Phoenix annoyed Mia when they first met. When he was fawning over his "Dolly", it annoyed Mia so much she had the strong urge to slap the person closest to her. Said person was Grossberg. Her reaction is amusing even after we see what happened to the last person Mia defended, who was also fawning over Dahlia.
- When Dahlia Hawthorne appears in court, both the Judge and Payne fawn over how pure and innocent she looks. Mia's response?
Mia: (Now I can see whose milkshake brings all the boys to the yard!)
- Any time Grossberg mentions his hemorrhoids. Disgusting, yes, but also hilarious.
- By the end of the case, Mia finally asks him to stop talking about his hemorrhoids. His response: "How rude!"
- In some versions, Grossberg drops this line:
Grossberg: It feels like my hemorrhoids are doing the Harlem Shake!note
- When it's revealed that Dahlia had an ulterior motive for dating Phoenix, he freaks out, grabs the bottle necklace and tries to flee the courtroom. When he's brought back and told to give back the necklace, he reveals that he ate it. The court's reaction is priceless. (This becomes a massive "Funny Aneurysm" Moment after Case 3-4...)
- Dahlia Hawthorne is giving a testimony about her relationship with Phoenix. Without warning, the final row line of dialog comes from Phoenix himself, blurting out that the two are so lovey-dovey it makes people sick. The judge warns him not to do that again or he'll be held in contempt.
- Say hello to Godot, who loves coffee so much that in one of his stock animations, he has a cup of coffee slid to him on his desk.
- This exchange from the second trial:
Godot: ...You did it. Didn't you?Ron: Yes.Phoenix: [sweating] What?Judge: ...Hmm. For a moment there I thought we'd set the record for the shortest trial ever.
- A call back to case 1-3.
Phoenix: ...?Maya: Don't "...?" me, Nick!
- Presenting Gumshoe the Magatama in 3-2 and 3-5 both end up in him almost eating it. Phoenix, Maya (both in 3-2)  and Edgeworth's (3-5) reactions are equally priceless.
- This exchange after breaking Adrian's Psyche-Locks regarding her breaking the Sacred Urn (again):
Pearl: (who broke the urn in the previous game and accidentally spelled it I AM instead) Really?
- "Dancingly descended". Twice. (IIRC, this is how it goes:)
Luke Atmey: Mask☆DeMasque dancingly descended towards me!Phoenix: How did he do that, exactly?Luke: Well... From the entrance, I suppose. Where else?Phoenix: (So, in actuality, he neither 'danced' nor 'descended'! ...Someone please save me.)
- And later:
Ron De Lite: I dancingly descended into the basement!Phoenix: How did you do that?Ron: Oh, through the air ducts.Phoenix: (So, in reality, he neither 'danced' nor 'descended'! ...Someone please save me. Again.)
- From the same testimony press with Atmey:
Luke Atmey: My eyes were looking for the thief's shadow, while my ears listened for his footfalls. But even so, the dastardly criminal managed to sneak up on me...Phoenix: (... I hereby dub you "Ace Dunce".)
- And later:
- This line, if you present Mask☆DeMasque to Ron DeLite.
Ron: Maybe I should give up being a thief and become a professional cowbell player...
- Phoenix examining a bent ornamental sword, wondering how it got that way.
Maya: Maybe Detective Atmey smashed Mask☆DeMasque with it. Like this!*POW*Phoenix: YEOOOOOUCCCH!! WHAT THE HECK!Maya: What do you think, Pearly?Pearl: I think it's even more bent than it was before.Phoenix: (Oh man...my head...my HAIR!)
- The Judge mishears the word 'broach'.
Judge: A breach? Here!? Bailiff! Get my steed! We need to retreat at once!
- If you present Pearl's profile to Larry, he talks about how cute she is, and only decides against dating her because dating two girls with the same name would violate one of his personal rules. Phoenix notes that the fact that Pearl is nine years old might violate some rule somewhere.
- At one point in the trial, Phoenix is prompted to explain away a hitch in his case. He stays ponderously silent, until his expression suddenly becomes very sheepish.note It's a standard sprite, but it's that extremely embarrassed grin of his that sells it.
- At least at two points in the trial, after the defense makes a strong point, Godot calmly sips his coffee only to make a very abrupt Spit Take immediately after.
- If you present Phoenix's profile to Maya at the beginning of the case, she observes that he "isn't very photogenic." As he puts it, "Ouch!"
Pearl: Well, that's the end of that conversation!
- All of Phoenix's inner thoughts about Atmey are amusing, and they're rather frequent. If it's not what he's thinking, his expression (usually his exasperated animation) and the sound effects really sell it.
- In the aftermath of the trial, the defendant Ron DeLite who has been ousted as the real Mask☆DeMasque, but gotten away with it on double jeopardy grounds is worried that his wife Desirée will leave him because she hates criminals, but she says that she only hates SNEAKY criminals, and as Mask☆DeMasque he had always announced his crimes before committing them like a real man!
- Pearl's slapping rage towards Nick after Desirée gives him a kiss as thanks for proving her husband's innocence.
Phoenix: (*gulp* I can feel my face going red!)Pearl: (suddenly appears) Mr. Nick! Mystic Maya! Congratulations!... *gasp* (is shocked to see Desirée and not too happy about it)Phoenix: (...Talk about bad timing.)Pearl: (begin to slap Phoenix) Mr. Nick! How could you!? (slap again) With another man's wife! (slap again) In front of Mystic Maya!Phoenix: No no no! You've got it all wrong!Pearl: (slap Phoenix again) I'll NEVER forgive you! (slap again) Never! (slap again) Ever!
- After Phoenix argues that Victor Kudo was too interested in the waitress's uniform to notice her face, he claims that anyone could have been wearing that uniform. "Even me!" The Judge immediately orders the defense to refrain from giving the court mental images.
- All the references to pop culture throughout the games, most notably this:
Lisa Basil: I'm sorry, that data is SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected.Maya: SuPer-Admin Restricted Desktop Access password-protected?! What?! This is madness!
Maya: What!? It's not the Rocko soundtrack, is it? Claw of the Tiger?
- When Furio Tigre is in court, the first thing he does is roaring as both Maya and the Judge hide under their respective desks.
Tigre: I got a business to take care of, ya hear me? So who the hell called me into this hole?! Was it you', spikey?!Phoenix: Ack, no. Of course not... It was... the judge... (Notices the judge is gone) Y-Your Honor!!!Judge: Oh, dear! I, um… I seem to have dropped my pen. Where on earth is it…? Don't mind me! Just carry on with the proceedings as normal!Phoenix: (That's it. We're doomed.)
Phoenix: (Maybe I should have brought a diaper with me today.)Maya: (while still under the desk) Get a grip, Nick!
- And then...
Tigre: So I dare you' to say it again! Come on! You' got the guts!?Judge: (still scared) Y-Y-You can't threaten m-me, Mr. Tigre. I-It's the defense! Go ahead and tell the witness, Mr. Wright! (realizes that Wright has disappeared) Mr. Wriight!Tigre: Sounds to me like it must be you', old man. Youse got guts, I'll give you that.Judge: M-M-Mr. Wright! Do not leave me to handle this alone!
- Later, Phoenix does it too. Furio Tigre is scary.
Godot: Found your pen at last, Trite?Phoenix: It was in my pocket.
- Once Phoenix pops back up, this dialogue ensues.
- Near the beginning, in an attempt to get information out of a Dirty Old Man, Phoenix drags along Maya in a Trés Bien uniform. Said old man tells her she looks like a kid and to come back in a few years... so she channels Mia. Hilarity Ensues.
Phoenix: (Even from beyond the grave... Wow...)
- Godot refers to Phoenix, Maya, and himself as "the porcu-headed lawyer and the topknot chick over there, and the ungodly cool guy with the mask over here."
- Furio Tigre's Paper-Thin Disguise. It's just a paper badge, a blue suit and spiky hair. Maggey Byrde even tells Phoenix at the beginning of the case that all the phony had in common with him was his hair. Besides that, Furio Tigre is red, literally the color red, and acts nothing like Nick! They don't even look alike except for the hair!, and yet, all he got was mild confusion.
Judge: What on earth is that? What an insult to think anyone could be fooled by such a childish imitation!Phoenix: *sweating sprite* (Consider yourself insulted, Your Honor!)
- Lampshaded as an irony by the Judge even, when Phoenix presented the paper badge as a proof Furio Tigre disguised as Phoenix during Maggie's trial.
- Jean Armstrong applying oil to himself in front of Phoenix.
Phoenix: MY EYES! MY EYEEEEESS!
- The judge's sheer lack of knowledge about technology:
Judge: A "computer virus?" What's that do?Phoenix: It's a program that destroys your computer from the inside.Judge: A "computer?" What's that do?Phoenix: I'll explain after the trial.
- Related: Maya and Gumshoe have a similarly clueless conversation about viruses during the investigation, and it is priceless. Bonus points for Phoenix Wright, who's already been established to not be very tech-savvy, being the one to explain it.
- Anytime Godot throws his coffee mug at Phoenix's head. It's impossible not to laugh after seeing the look on Phoenix's face when this happens.
Phoenix: Should I be happy this coffee is only hot enough to give me first degree burns?
- After Phoenix tricks Tigre into admitting that he's the one who killed Elg, he screams so loud the entire power in the courtroom goes out! Related to the above, Godot uses this as yet another chance to leave Phoenix with the contents of his coffee mug spread over his face.
- When Nick finds out that Gumshoe has a crush on Maggey.
Phoenix: (Note to self: Gossip with Maya about this later!)
- When you finally confront Tigre about meeting Elg, you mention at one point that Elg only had 58 cents in his pocket.
Tigre: What?! Youse saying he's not even gonna pay for his coffee?!
- In the Trés Bien kitchen, there is a book you can examine. It turns out to be the owner's poetry, and after some encouragement from Maya, Phoenix will read one of the poems out loud, complete with fake French accent. It is amazing.
- This case has some of the greatest lines with Mia's thoughts on her hating Edgeworth. She wanted to strangle him with his cravat and called him a hypocrite.
- Becomes even funnier since Mia is facing off against Edgeworth while he's still a novice, so his quirks and uptight nature are taken Up to Eleven.
- Gumshoe's (extremely awkward) attempt to hit on Mia.
- 'D-do I really inspire this sort of frothing desire from the female masses?' Which can also be seen as a Fandom Nod. Actually, any scene where Edgeworth gets freaked out is likely to be a Funny Moment for someone.
- Thinking about it, it's not just the 'female masses' line - everything from the part where you play as Edgeworth is concentrated comedy gold. Gumshoe's reaction when you find the staff, the lines when you present evidence incorrectly, and this:
Is there some sort of kick-me sign on the defense's bench!?
Phoenix: It's so inappropriate. Like Sister Bikini in a bikini! *shudder* ...I've gotta think of kittens...
- The context for that line makes it even funnier: if you press the 4th statement of Sister Bikini's first testimony, Edgeworth eventually asks how long she bathed, and Bikini thinks he's hitting on her. Then he gets whipped by Franziska. And insulted by the judge.
- Bikini's "bikini" seems to have caused mental trauma not to Edgeworth alone.
- Or this:
- Presenting the hood to Sister Bikini (while Gumshoe is present) results in the two of them forcing Edgeworth to try it on. There are no custom sprites for this, sadly, but the dialogue strongly implies that they unceremoniously shove it onto his head.
Edgeworth: No! I can't...! I was just...!Bikini: ... Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!Gumshoe: Ho ho ho! It's like it was made just for you, Mr. Edgeworth!Edgeworth: What do you mean by that, Detective!?Bikini: It looks absolutely marvelous! You've just got to keep it on for a while!Edgeworth: (Is this some sort of divine retribution...?)
- What happens when you examine the Camera in the Detention Centre;
Edgeworth: The camera is glaring at me. "If something glares at you, it's only polite to return the favor," is what I was taught.
- Also, he misheard Phoenix's description when Nick first loaned him the Magatama, and proceeds to constantly refer to Psyche-Locks as "Psycholocks."
- The first time Edgeworth breaks a 'Psycholock':
Edgeworth: (Was it the evidence or the power of my glare that broke that lock...?)
- Edgeworth's reaction to Larry Butz's Psyche-Locks after he just unlocked three and now there are FIVE of them.
Edgeworth: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Do I have to do it all over again!?
- And he'd broken the final one by pointing out that you're not supposed to write the actual phrase "Salutation here" in a letter.
- Here's a fun fact: this event actually causes Edgeworth to call it quits on the day's investigation. He decides the only way to proceed is to put Larry on the stand and drag the truth out of him. The next day, said person proceeds to make a mockery of the court.
- This little snippet:
Larry: Oh... I shouldn’t have done that...Edgeworth: (thinking) Done what? Maybe I can get some more informa-Gumshoe: (leaps out) Hey! You! About what you just said…I got an objection! (Cornered music plays)
- Franziska von Karma whipping Larry Butz into unconsciousness. "I demand satisfaction!"
- The part where Larry talks about a "Big Badaboum"
- When Phoenix has to present Larry's sketch , there are a few options you get in how to present it. "A major contradiction" is the obvious correct answer, but answering "exactly what happened" provides a hilarious snippet of dialogue. "Of course the victim was flying through the air! You can see it right there in the sketch! …Whooooosh!" The sound effects that accompany this make it extremely funny. Godot is so amused/baffled by this explanation that he will waive the penalty; something he won't do if use the third option "absolutely nothing".
- Larry's, or rather, "Laurice Deauxnim's" evidence.
Edgeworth: Are...!Franziska: You...!The Judge: High! The girl... She's really high up in this picture!
- Also, should the player choose not to present said evidence, they get the brilliant:
Edgeworth: ...I cannot recommend looking at the sketch. His "works of art" are a force of nature best measured on the Richter scale.Judge: This courtroom has yet to meet earthquake standards! I think we'd better pass!
- Also, should the player choose not to present said evidence, they get the brilliant:
- Sister Bikini being called to the witness stand. She shows up and... all you can see is the top of her hood. The judge asks her to stand up nice and tall. She obliges.◊ Edgeworth tactfully suggests they get her some milk crates to stand on.
- A rather subtle one comes near the end of the game when we find out that Adrian Andrews and Pearl aren't the only people to have ever broken and repaired Ami Fey's Urn.
- When Edgeworth tells the judge to call Larry Butz to the stand:
Judge: This guy must be a product of "Jean-Luc de Laduc's Guide To Obnoxious French Painting".
- When Larry takes the stand, players are probably wondering how long it will take before Franziska starts whipping him. She whips him before he even gets one word out.
- This testimony:
Butz: I was so worried! So I frantically searched all over for her!Edgeworth: HOLD IT! So you searched all over for her?Butz: She was flying pretty high, you know. I thought maybe she slipped on her landing and got hurt. Hey! It was more than possible! Also, when I headed out to the shack the first time, I was snacking on a banana. I was pretty sure I threw the peel away somewhere around there, so, you know...Edgeworth: ... (Can one guy really be this stupid?)Edgeworth: So, did you find any signs of her so-called "landing"?Butz: Hmm... I don't really remember. I kept on falling over myself, and kinda lost it for a while there.Judge: You... fell over yourself?Butz: Yeah. The snow was deep, and there was even a banana peel out there!Edgeworth: (Yup. There's stupid, and then there's Larry Butz.)
- During the investigation, Phoenix stumbles across Gumshoe... who is singing. Kudo's military-esque theme is playing in the background. "Every case gonna be airtight..." Bonus points for the lyrics being a parody of "No Woman, No Cry" by Bob Marley.
Phoenix: Hmm. I didn't know Detective Gumshoe was a fan of reggae.
- Near the end, despite the serious and heavy nature of the current testimony, the Judge notes that one bit sounds quite reasonable. Phoenix retorts that said testimony creates a glaring contradiction. The Judge, having recently gained quite an open mind, simply nods and responds.
Judge: That makes sense. After all, my deductions are almost certainly never correct.
- After the final case is finished, Gumshoe decides to take Phoenix and the others to a certain high-class French restaurant: Trés Bien.
Phoenix: (I knew it... We're doomed.)
- Larry and Pearl's little pity-party at the Heavenly Hall is really, really amusing for some reason.
Larry: My life's here now, with Pearl. Two losers cooking potatoes together forevermore!
- Pressing Larry's first statement ("I was at the lodge out in the mountains, looking up at the stars that night.") during his first cross-examination yields this exchange where he invalidates his own testimony:
Edgeworth: HOLD IT! ...Judge: What ever is the matter, Mr. Edgeworth?Edgeworth: This one statement is so full of contradictions... For a moment there I thought I was going to collapse.Judge: Hmm...von Karma: So, witness? Any idea where these contradictions in your testimony lie? Depending on your answer...I may let my whip have its way.Butz: OK, give me a minute... Well, it was snowing that night so I couldn't have possibly seen the stars. That run-down shack is hardly a "lodge", is it...? And even if the stars could be seen, it isn't like I was there to look at them, right?Edgeworth: ...von Karma: See? You can do it if you try.
Phoenix: HOLD IT! ...Judge: Something wrong, Mr. Wright?Phoenix: There were so many things wrong I don't know where to begin...Judge: Ah...
- Especially when Phoenix pressed Larry's first statement in the very first game ("That night, I was out in a boat on the lake.") in a very similar manner.
- Phoenix and Franziska investigate several places together. Naturally, the dialogue is priceless.
Franziska: Don't you Americans like doing anything you please and simply saying "Whatever!"Phoenix: No! (Okay, who told her about that!?)
- That segment of the game also gives us a few lines that show that Franziska is actually prone to ditziness once in a while. It's absolutely adorable, given her generally serious personality; she asks Phoenix very matter-of-factly if the Eagle River once hosted a prosperous port, having assumed the metal hook for the bridge cord was for mooring ships. Phoenix's internal commentary on it suggests that he's baffled that she seems to sincerely believe the training grounds were once host to a port. Though he corrects her quite politely aloud, she guessed what he was thinking and whipped him. She also came to the conclusion that when Americans run out of paint, they use gravy.
- Present Franziska's picture to Gumshoe when she is there. He hesitates before saying she is a beauty, and then gets whipped.
- Examining the Main Hall from outside prompts a conversation where Franziska sounds legitimately concerned about Sister Bikini. Of course, Phoenix brings that up, and out comes the whip.
- The first conversations of the first trial are madness. There's just something so funny about Franziska and Edgeworth trolling the judge and each other at the same time.
- Phoenix constantly being on both of their minds is also strangely amusing.
Edgeworth: (to himself, after spotting an important contradiction) It's not a bad feeling at all, exposing contradictions like this. Now I understand that happy look on Wright's face every time he does it...[and later, when Edgeworth's case is on the ropes]Franziska: That look in your eyes... You remind me of Phoenix Wright when he is cornered.Edgeworth: [calmly] That should come as no surprise. (Because right now I am Phoenix Wright, and I am indeed cornered...!)
- Phoenix constantly being on both of their minds is also strangely amusing.
- Oldbag appearing in the credits.
- Larry's matter-of-fact comments on his sketch that seems to depict Iris flying in the air.
Larry: I wish she'd take better care of herself. We have to plan for our future, you know! What would've happened to her if she had injured herself flying like that...?
- When you examine the Shichishito/Ami Fey statue, Gumshoe rather cheerfully informs Edgeworth that the prints on the sword belong to Iris. Presumably Edgeworth has pulled out his damage animation/zombie-with-stomach-flu face again because of what happens next:
Gumshoe: ... What's wrong? You're looking really solemn.Edgeworth: Is this how it feels for Wright? Is this what it's like to be a defence lawyer?Gumshoe: Yeah, I figure it doesn't really feel good.Edgeworth: ... To be honest, it feels more like it's detrimental to your health.
- This conversation during Phoenix's meeting with Franziska. Phoenix's thoughts on Franziska's claims of how she wants him crushed and whipped. Which cue to Franzika's whipping ON HIM:
Franziska: And that's precisely why I am here. Your personal involvement will make crushing you into teensy weensy pieces all the better!Phoenix: ... (It's probably the fever, but... She's so openly hostile that it's almost kinda cute.) *whipped* OWW!Franziska: No smirking!Phoenix: No whipping the sick!
- When Phoenix and Franziska finally locate Pearl, Franziska takes an immediate shine to her and tries to act like a Cool Big Sister. Unfortunately, she has forgotten about the fact that she intends to get Maya a guilty verdict in the previous game and Pearl didn't forget that; leaving Franziska speechless of her remark:
Franziska: It must be very trying for you, little girl.Pearl: Ah! You're...Franziska: I am Franziska von Karma. The Prodigy. There's no need to worry now that I'm here.Pearl: You're the prosecutor who was so mean to Mystic Maya last year.Franziska: (Shocked) Well...Pearl: I... I don't like you. You're nothing but a little girl without your whip!Franziska: (speechless)Pearl: Mystic Maya didn't do anything wrong, but you were so mean! I'll never forgive you!Franziska: (speechless) I... I... !Phoenix: (It looks like Pearl's words are getting under her skin...)Franziska: (Angrily and whip Phoenix)Phoenix: Yeowwww! Why are you whipping me!? I didn't even say anything!Franziska: You didn't have to. The smile on your lips gave you away!
- Who doesn't smile after Phoenix's remark on Pearls before he gets whipped?
- A few profiles, and two pieces of evidence are loaded with snark, when playing as Edgeworth.
- The whole concept of unlimited penalty.
- Some of the conversations between the characters are more or less the same, whether you're there as Miles Edgeworth or Phoenix Wright, with the only changes being the characters' own observations. One example is when Gumshoe thinks about what might have been had he never become a detective. Edgeworth notes that all of Gumshoe's other choices of employment involve joining the police force in some manner or another, while Phoenix notes the comic potential of Gumshoe as the Blue Badger.
- Godot mentions in passing the time he "took a swig of Worchestershire sauce."
- When Phoenix has to cross examine Lotta Hart, he struggles for some contradiction in her testimony. He desperately grasps onto the fact that she heard the gunshots shortly after midnight on Christmas Eve...arguing that technically she heard the shots on Christmas Day. This is such a ridiculous argument that the entire court, including Edgeworth and Von Karma Face Fault. As soon as she's standing up again, Lotta tells Phoenix "You sure ask a lot of useless questions, don't you?"
- This jibe, courtesy of Manfred Von Karma: "If the killer really did that, he would be very foolish. Much like you, Mr. Wright."
- When the boat keeper testifies that he saw Edgeworth kill Hammond, he stresses how much Edgeworth was "fluttering" as he went by. He then finishes by saying he heard Edgeworth said "I never thought I'd kill him". Edgeworth shouts from the witness stand "Objection! I never said anything like that! Moreover...I don't flutter to that extent!" The courtroom Face Faults at that. Amusingly, as they get back up, you can hear someone saying "Look, he's fluttering now!"
- Pretty much any time Larry Butz is on screen. The actor plays him as such a Large Ham, it's hilarious!
- His not guilty verdict in the first case ends with a janitor unceremoniously throwing pieces of paper as confetti, in contrast of the more celebratory one in the game. In fact, the entire first case is hilarious, if only for the sheer shitty condition of Larry's courtroom.
- Bonus points to any time he has his metal detector. Some particular instances include him running in as a surprise witness and nearly hitting Edgeworth with the thing as he turns around and him twirling it like a baton, making airplane noises when Phoenix tries to take it to find the bullet in von Karma's shoulder. It ends with Phoenix impatiently snatching the thing out of Larry's hands.
- When the boat keeper can't be found, Phoenix tries stalling for time to keep the judge from making a verdict. He fails, but just as the judge is swinging down the gavel, he's interrupted by the plush hand of the Blue Badger... who slowly pulls himself up over the desk to stare at the judge. Cue Gumshoe bringing in the boat keeper.
- And following that, if one watches the Blue Badger in the background, we see it fall to the ground. It's head falls off...and no one's inside. A bit creepy, yes, but it's also hilarious that no one notices the apparently animate theme park suit.
- After Phoenix reveals that Lotta hadn't actually been paying attention to the boat the murder took place in, she freaks out and runs from the courtroom (after quickly apologizing to Edgeworth). The Judge, perfectly deadpan, gives the best line to sum up the entire series:
Judge: What kind of a hectic trial is this?
- The last scene before the credits roll is Maya, Edgeworth, Phoenix and Larry out in the street, when Maya asks a question: Who was the real culprit of the classroom trial?. Fans of the games would know, but Larry stole Edgeworth's money to pay for something he wanted at the time in the movie. The end conversation is hilarious and heartwarming in that even if they're all 24 years old, when in each other's company they can act like kids.
Larry: Well, I was a thousand yen short, and I really wanted it at the time...Maya: What?Edgeworth: What?!Phoenix: Are you serious?! You stole it?! Why did I study Law then!?Larry: Oh come on, Nick...it was 15 years ago...isn't there a Statue of Iteration or something on that?Phoenix: Come on, my foot! (starts chasing Larry around) When's the Statute of Limitations on our friendship?!
- During the end credits, after Edgeworth raises an objection in court, he pulls out the Jammin' Ninja's red guitar and strums it while in a completely serious tone asks "How do you explain this, Defense?"