- After being given a bottle of very rare wine before a concert:
Nathan: NO! We never drink before a show! NEVER!
Murderface: *pops off the top of the bottle and pours some in a goblet* Well, I've been drinking all day.
Toki: *holds up beer can* Me too!
Skwisgaar: Me too.
Pickles: (surrounded by beer cans and beer bottles) Me too!
Nathan: ...Me too.
- After their chefs get...decommissioned, so to say, they have to do their own food shopping. The entire episode after that becomes a laugh riot starting around the line, "And don't just buy booze! That ain't food!" courtesy of Nathan Explosion.
- "What do you mean, booze ain't food?! I'd rather chop off my ding-dong than admit that!"
- "I think this is calleds 'food library'."
- "IT'S CALLED A GROCERY STORE YA DOUCHEBAGS!...I'm sorry about the douchebags. I got low blood sugar."
- "You ladys, Skwisgaar." "NO I'M NOT!"
- "Two cups of rice..." (Nathan pours the rice into the shopping cart and watching it fall through the bottom] "Brutal."
- And the best part of that scene: the only band member to successfully purchase anything is Pickles. Go ahead and guess what he bought.
- In the same episode, Skwisgaar apparently thought that the only way to make coffee was using a toaster.
- After all the build-up to Nathan and the rest of the band getting William Murderface the blackest birthday present ever in Birthdayface, what do they give him for his birthday?
: And now, the blackest present for the most brutal of all bass players... [the gift box falls open, empty] ... NOOOOTHIIING! Murderface
: Oh, you suck! You all suck! Nathan
: Awwww, what's wrong? Skwisgaar
: Ah yeah, go play records backwards and kill yourself. Pickles
: Hey fatso! We got your favorite thing: disappointment!
- The emergency cutaway when Skwisgaar explains to an elderly lady what a "GMILF" is.
- The entire episode of Girlfriendklok will either be very funny, or very sad for anybody who has ever witnessed a friend become completely henpecked upon entering a relationship.
- Pickles yelling at Jean-Pierre in The Curse of Dethklok. "By the power of all that is evil, I command you to awaken and make me a sandwich!"
- "RELEASE...THE KITTIES!!"
- Toki is recording his part of a a new song in the studio while his band mates watch:
Skwisgaar: Ugh, just let me records it. He's terrible! Each day he gets worse! He's slowly learning hows to un-play the guitar!
Toki: I can hear you, the talk-back mike is on.
Skwisgaar: Pickle, please let me know when the talks-back mic is on so Mr. Sensitives don'ts goes to crybaby's house for vacations?
Toki: I can still hear you.
Skwisgaar: Well what do you want?! A "Be-Ables-to-Hears-Things" award?!
- Toki's Mushroom Samba / Busby Berkeley Number from Dethwater (he was stuffed in a tank, which was then filled with liquid oxygen).
- Murderface's very nonchalant reaction to a blackout on the nuclear submarine where they're recording their newest album: "Hey guys...nuclear submarine power's out." Pickles' reaction? He hurls a bottle of vodka at the control console. And that gets it started up again.
- Dethfashion, where the band tries to lose weight after being convinced that they're fat. Just seeing them in those bizarre outfits is funny enough.
- Murderface adamantly refusing to eat anything "shaped like a dick". What do we see him doing later? Sensually licking a sausage.
- The band starts recording their music on vials of water to deter music piracy. At the end of the episode, the band is completely smashed and doing very oddball things with the water (which heavily pollutes a good portion of the earth for each recording). Gems include "Don't fill up the fish tank with the drum solo!" and "You're making ramen noodles with Skwisgaar's solo!"
- They end up filling the hot tub with the track of Nathan making weird sounds in the mic to test the recording quality. As they sit in the tub, the sounds play over and over.
* oooooo, ahhhhhhh, ooo, ahh, la la la la *clap clap clap clap*
- When Toki was concerned about his place in the band and he flashed back to a music lesson with Skwisgaar:
Skwisgaar: Okay Toki, plays mes a harmonic minor scales in the key of uh, D.
Toki: Oh, like this...
(One note later)
(Skwisgaar pulls a chord that sends a bucket of blood on Toki's head. Toki lunges at Skwisgaar, bucket-head first and they start brawling)
- While Dethklok is discussing the fate of their adopted son:
: I think I know what you are all trying to say. I...uh...um... I think we have to build a space helicopter.
: Ah, well, that's impossible, but I think I may have a better idea.
- Earlier on, Charles points out that adopting him was not charity:
Charles: Well, can you send him back?
Nathan: Hey, that's a pretty harsh thing to say but no, we can't, we already tried.
- This moment, from "Snakes 'n' Barrels II" (which cuts off the opening of the show to Pickles going nuts to Charles over the Snakes 'n' Barrels reunion):
Pickles: *smashes Charles' lamp*
Charles: Would you stop breaking my good lamps? Break those ones, they're from Ikea.
Pickles: *walks a short distance away to bunch of cheap lamps* What, these ones?
Pickles: You sure have a lot of lamps in here.
Charles: Well, lighting is important. It creates a nice atmosphere.
Pickles: *begins smashing the Ikea lamps*
- Eventually, the other band members come in and start smashing lamps too, and Charles eventually has to order more lamps to that sector.
- Toki's cat dream sequence song, "Hamburger Time", from Dethhealth.
- The episode in general is full of great moments. Special mention goes to Murderface desperately trying not to think about a man touching his penis during a physical exam. Hilarity ensues.
- Among the things he tried to think of to not get aroused, The Golden Girls was one of those thoughts.
- Anything Doctor Rockso the Rock n' Roll Clown says or does.
- He does COC—
- "I woke up with a...clown's hand...in my pants. T-That's what I did today."
(Dr. Rockso slips his hand into the pants of a sleeping Murderface...then Murderface wakes up.) Dr. Rockso
I do cocaine. (Beat) Murderface
: (sitting perfectly still) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
- When Nathan names a hurricane after being elected governor of Florida in Dethgov. (And proceeded to run it into the ground.)
Nathan: We'll name it...Scrambles... Scrambles the, uh, the death...dealer.
- This memorable exchange from season 1:
Pickles: Okay, so, uhh...number 421. You, ehh...you are part of the sector eighteen, recording studio maintenance clean team. Okay! Uhh...qui...couple questions. How, do, you, value, your, what you contribute, of, to, at the work force? Ehh... Second part: which, do you most, can't, the least? Skwisgaar?
Pickles: You write these questions?
Skwisgaar: Yeah I did.
- And then without missing a beat:
Klokateer 421: I am a highly skilled microphone cleaner my masters, and what I most can't the least, would be do not a bad job, but always a good.
- In that same episode, someone is embezzling Dethklok. During the interview above, Nathan openly asks the Klokateer if he is the embezzler.
Nathan: Let me ask a question. And be honest. ....Are you the guy who's embezzling from us?
Klokateer 421: No.
....Okay. I believe you.
- And they finally track down the embezzlers at the end of the episode - turns out the band itself were the ones doing it.
- The band's attempts at autofellatio, and the aftermath.
Woman: Why are you all hunched over?
Woman: *unimpressed look*
Murderface: *defiant stare*
- Nathan repeatedly putting firecrackers down the backside of Murderface's shorts in Dethdad when he, Pickles and Skiwsgaar prank him into thinking there are other firecrackers hidden in the grass. It continues as a gag throughout the episode.
- TAKIN' IT, I'M TAKIN' IT, EEEEAAAASSY!!!!!
- Dethklok, in an attempt to cure themselves of their colds by using outdated and impractical medical procedures, applying leeches onto their bodies and imitating various celebrities and cultural figures, culminating in Murderface slapping a whole bunch of leeches onto his face at the request of Nathan to do a "Leech Al Jolson" impersonation.
"MAMMY! HOME FROM ALABAMMY! LEECH AL JOLSON!'"
- Nathan on the subject of racism,
Nathan: We're not racist. We don't give a fuck what color our fans are, cause we don't give a fuck about our fans.
- Pickles seeing a flashback (to a scene that never happened) of Charles telling him to tell his mother to go fuck herself at the end of "Motherklok."
- This little moment from "Dethcamp":
Ludvik: My name is Ludvik. And I am the greatest. (Plays a guitar riff) I am done. CLAP!
- Nathan and Pickles being left in charge.
Charles: I'm going to be out of town for a few days, Nathan, Pickles, I'm trusting you to look after the band while I'm gone, kay?
Nathan: Who do we have to be in charge?
Charles: Because you two are the most responsible.
Nathan: That's bullshit!
Pickles: You're responsible, not us.
Nathan: Don't call us responsible.
Charles: Well, you are the most responsible.
Nathan: Yeah, well, fuck you too.
- Then there's Nathan and Pickles acting like parents, from Nathan awkwardly making sure Toki has his insulin shots and giving him a Dethklok snow-globe to Pickles letting Skiwsgaar and Murderface sleep in his bed after they have nightmares.
- Also, Skwisgar and Murderface acting like adolescent boys in that episode. Without Toki to tattle on them, Murderface tells Skwisgar that they can get away with whatever they want. They decide to enjoy their new found freedom by binging on candy and watching Faces of Death... which results in them having nightmares and asking Pickles if they can sleep in his bed.
- The entire sequence in the premiere of someone calling someone a dildo... and then having the person be right behind them, but especially the last one, just for the delivery alone.
Nathan: Yeah you're right. Let's go. Charles always gets pissed off if we're late, you know? He's such an uptight dilllllllllldoooooo hi.
- Skwisgaar has a classic Oh, Crap moment in "Diversityklok" when Toki gets his revenge on his fellow bandmates for always leaving him behind by making Nathan, Pickles and Skwisgaar dress as the KKK and Murderface as Hitler at a diversity rally:
- ...And Murderface comes out looking like Hitler.
- Made even better by the fact that they still left Toki behind and he is forced to watch his revenge on TV.
- Charles' comment "Oh, dear god" is the icing on the cake.
- "THIS IS SO NOT DOABLE!"
- ALL of "Going Downklok."
- Nathan scat singing in "Breakupklok".
- Murderface's reaction to hearing that Dethklok are the chosen ones in "Church of the Black Klok".
Murderface: "You mean, we're the Jews?"
- Murderface mocking Pickles' drum solo in "Bookklok".
: "If you need to take a *riff*
now's the time! It's the drum solo!" Pickles
- Also, the entirety of how they used the defib unit.
Murderface: "AW, WHO THE FUCK PEED ON ME?"
Pickles: "I think you're the culprit in this particular mystery."
Murderface: "How can I pee on myself if I'm right here?"
Murderface: "He seems fibrallated."
- It's all in the delivery, but there's Pickles weakly trying to defend himself when his mother calls him spoiled.
: Spoiled? I—I'll tell you who's spoiled. My *riff*
ing servants! Dose guys are ahhhhhhshooooooles!
- When Pickles is hearing the voices of his bandmates advising him to tell his mom to go fuck herself, Offdensen's in there too.
- Murderface attempts to write his own song, titled "Changes".
A million miles from nowhere
dragon lance burns hot
in the fire of a horse's ghost, a minnow would be lost
a fish with tits
- Nathan Explosion: Singer. Songwriter. Death Metal growler. Incredible storyteller and music critic.
- The band trying to learn about the Blues
Skwisgaar: "All they sings abouts is trains!"
- The Christian Rock mosh pit
- Dr Rockso's music video
Dr Rockso: "This one was banned from MTV because you could see my junk through my jumpsuit]]
Murdeface: "I belive that is known as freeballin'"
- Quite a bit of Metalocalypse: The Doomstar Requiem.
- While tracking Toki, the Klokateers tell Offdensen of a highly skilled tracker who could very well be the only one to help them find Toki:
Charles: That's good. Where is he?
Klokateer: He's dead. (camera pulls out to show the remains of the tracker stuffed in a wheelbarrow)
: (barely fazed)
Oh. ...Throw him in the garbage.
- Later in the same number when the Klokateers start dancing.
- The flashback to Toki's duel with Skwisgaar. It suddenly switches from an Amazing Technicolor Battlefield with Toki and Skwisgaar channeling the spirits of an eagle and a horse, respectively to them playing in a style fitting the Baroque era of music, complete with powdered wigs and justacorps.
- And of course, the Big Damn Heroes moment where the group needs some drugs to ward off junkies.
- The song Hatredcopter, mostly because of it's subject matter of a man who signed up with either the military or a mercenary group with absolutely no experience simply because the helicopter looked badass.
I am likely to find for my failure to fly
That I will be fired for not killing you
Cause that is my job
- Squisgar and Toki being cornered by the Revengers soldiers during the climax of the season 2 finale after their escape pods are separated from the others.
Skwisgaar: I knows.
- The cake for Murderface's birthday party has metal frosting. Which in turn makes it inedible, because the chef used mercury to make it.
- The band going away to the Caribean for a weekend to dry out and get healthy in preparation for a doctors visit. They spend the entire time there partying like animals. They end up coming back in even worse shape than they were when they left.
Offdesen: From the look and...smell of you guys, you drank and did drugs the entire time.
Nathan: Uh, whoops?
- From the same episode, the band insisting that Offdensen use the word "Hamburger Time" when talking about death when around them, due to the four being freaked out from a near death experience. Also, Murderface refusing to go to the doctor because they'll just find something that will kill him.
: Hey, my uncle had a big huge thing growing on his neck, and he's totally fine. Then he goes to the doctor...cancer
. Bing bam, hair out, Hamburger Time
- Brendon Small, being One of Us, got really excited to hear Mark Hamill, freaking Luke Skywalker, reading lines on the show. That didn't stop him from being a Troll and intentionally giving Mr. Hamill unpronounceable names to say as Senator Stampingston (even just "rolling his knuckles on the keyboard" at points), just because Hamill became very determined to read them correctly. You can hear the story here.