After being given a bottle of very rare wine before a concert:
Nathan:NO! We never drink before a show! NEVER! Murderface: *pops off the top of the bottle and pours some in a goblet* Well, I've been drinking all day. Toki: *holds up beer can* Me too! Skwisgaar: Me too. Pickles: (surrounded by beer cans and beer bottles) Me too! Nathan: ...Me too.
After their chefs get...decommissioned, so to say, they have to do their own food shopping. The entire episode after that becomes a laugh riot starting around the line, "And don't just buy booze! That ain't food!" courtesy of Nathan Explosion.
"What do you mean, booze ain't food?! I'd rather chop off my ding-dong than admit that!"
"I think this is calleds 'food library'."
"IT'S CALLED A GROCERY STORE YA DOUCHEBAGS!...I'm sorry about the douchebags. I got low blood sugar."
"You lady, Skwisgaar." "NO I'M NOT!"
And the best part of that scene: the only band member to successfully purchase anything is Pickles. Go ahead and guess what he bought.
After all the build-up to Nathan and the rest of the band getting William Murderface the blackest birthday present ever in Birthdayface, what do they give him for his birthday?
Nathan: And now, the blackest present for the most brutal of all bass players... [the gift box falls open, empty] ... NOOOOTHIIING! Murderface: Oh, you suck! You all suck! Nathan: Awwww, what's wrong? Skwisgaar: Ah yeah, go play records backwards and kill yourself. Pickles: Hey fatso! We got your favorite thing: disappointment!
Murderface's very nonchalant reaction to a blackout on the nuclear submarine where they're recording their newest album: "Hey guys...nuclear submarine power's out." Pickles' reaction? He hurls a bottle of vodka at the control console. And that gets it started up again.
Dethfashion, where the band tries to lose weight after being convinced that they're fat. Just seeing them in those bizarre outfits is funny enough.
Murderface adamantly refusing to eat anything "shaped like a dick". What do we see him doing later? Sensually licking a sausage.
The band starts recording their music on vials of water to deter music piracy. At the end of the episode, the band is completely smashed and doing very oddball things with the water (which heavily pollutes a good portion of the earth for each recording). Gems include "Don't fill up the fish tank with the drum solo!" and "You're making ramen noodles with Skwisgaar's solo!"
When Toki was concerned about his place in the band and he flashed back to a music lesson with Skwisgaar:
Skwisgaar: Okay Toki, plays mes a harmonic minor scales in the key of uh, D. Toki: Oh, like this... (One note later) Skwisgaar: WROOONG! (Skwisgaar pulls a chord that sends a bucket of blood on Toki's head. Toki lunges at Skwisgaar, bucket-head first and they start brawling)
While Dethklok is discussing the fate of their adopted son:
Nathan: I think I know what you are all trying to say. I...uh...um... I think we have to build a space helicopter. [pause] Pickles: Ah, well, that's impossible, but I think I may have a better idea.
Earlier on, Charles points out that adopting him was not charity:
Charles: Well, can you send him back?
Nathan: Hey, that's a pretty harsh thing to say but no, we can't, we already tried.
This moment, from "Snakes 'n' Barrels II" (which cuts off the opening of the show to Pickles going nuts to Charles over the Snakes 'n' Barrels reunion):
Pickles: *smashes Charles' lamp* Charles: Would you stop breaking my good lamps? Break those ones, they're from Ikea. Pickles: *walks a short distance away to bunch of cheap lamps* What, these ones? Charles: Yes. Pickles: You sure have a lot of lamps in here. Charles: Well, lighting is important. It creates a nice atmosphere. Pickles: *begins smashing the Ikea lamps*
Eventually, the other band members come in and start smashing lamps too, and Charles eventually has to order more lamps to that sector.
The episode in general is full of great moments. Special mention goes to Murderface desperately trying not to think about a man touching his penis during a physical exam. Hilarity ensues.
Among the things he tried to think of to not get aroused, The Golden Girls was one of those thoughts.
Anything Doctor Rockso the Rock n' Roll Clown says or does.
He does COC—
Yes, I know.
"I woke up with a...clown's hand...in my pants. T-That's what I did today."
(Dr. Rockso slips his hand into the pants of a sleeping Murderface...then Murderface wakes up.) Dr. Rockso: (whispering) I do cocaine. (Beat) Murderface: (sitting perfectly still)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
When Nathan names a hurricane after being elected governor of Florida in Dethgov. (And proceeded to run it into the ground.)
Nathan: We'll name it...Scrambles... Scrambles the, uh, the death...dealer.
This memorable exchange from season 1:
Pickles: Okay, so, uhh...number 421. You, ehh...you are part of the sector eighteen, recording studio maintenance clean team. Okay! Uhh...qui...couple questions. How, do, you, value, your, what you contribute, of, to, at the work force? Ehh... Second part: which, do you most, can't, the least? Skwisgaar?
Pickles: You write these questions?
Skwisgaar: Yeah I did.
And then without missing a beat:
Klokateer 421: I am a highly skilled microphone cleaner my masters, and what I most can't the least, would be do not a bad job, but always a good.
In that same episode, someone is embezzling Dethklok. During the interview above, Nathan openly asks the Klokateer if he is the embezzler.
Nathan: Let me ask a question. And be honest. ....Are you the guy who's embezzling from us?
Nathan repeatedly putting firecrackers down the backside of Murderface's shorts in Dethdad when he, Pickles and Skiwsgaar prank him into thinking there are other firecrackers hidden in the grass. It continues as a gag throughout the episode.
TAKIN' IT, I'M TAKIN' IT, EEEEAAAASSY!!!!!
Dethklok, in an attempt to cure themselves of their colds by using outdated and impractical medical procedures, applying leeches onto their bodies and imitating various celebrities and cultural figures, culminating in Murderface slapping a whole bunch of leeches onto his face at the request of Nathan to do a "Leech Al Jolson" impersonation.
"MAMMY! HOME FROM ALABAMMY! LEECH AL JOLSON!'"
Nathan on the subject of racism,
Nathan: We're not racist. We don't give a fuck what color our fans are, cause we don't give a fuck about our fans.
Pickles seeing a flashback (to a scene that never happened) of Charles telling him to tell his mother to go fuck herself at the end of "Motherklok."
This little moment from "Dethcamp":
Ludvik: My name is Ludvik. And I am the greatest. (Plays a guitar riff) I am done. CLAP!
Nathan and Pickles being left in charge.
Charles: I'm going to be out of town for a few days, Nathan, Pickles, I'm trusting you to look after the band while I'm gone, kay?
Nathan: Who do we have to be in charge?
Charles: Because you two are the most responsible.
Then there's Nathan and Pickles acting like parents, from Nathan awkwardly making sure Toki has his insulin shots and giving him a Dethklok snow-globe to Pickles letting Skiwsgaar and Murderface sleep in his bed after they have nightmares.
The entire sequence in the premiere of someone calling someone a dildo... and then having the person be right behind them, but especially the last one, just for the delivery alone.
Nathan: Yeah you're right. Let's go. Charles always gets pissed off if we're late, you know? He's such an uptight dilllllllllldoooooo hi.
Skwisgaar has a classic Oh Crap moment in "Diversityklok" when Toki gets his revenge on his fellow bandmates for always leaving him behind by making Nathan, Pickles and Skwisgaar dress as the KKK and Murderface as Hitler at a diversity rally: