The Red Guy: Of course Flem's dad couldn't explain what had happened, because HE'S AN IDIOT! Oh just look at those shorts.
And after he explains it, he himself forgets who he is, and flies through the wall and into the sunset thinking that he is Amelia Earhart
Red reading a fairy tale from a cookbook in "Goin' My Way":
"And then, the Three Little Bacon Steaks were put in the oven and baked at 350, smothered in chocolate! The end."
In "The Legend of Sailcat" (which is weird even by their standards) they have one bit where Flem's dad sings that "when someone's depressed or has had a bad day (Sailcat) can always drop in with the right thing to say". What does Sailcat say to the bawling Cow? " Don't be depressed Cow, people like you because you're big and fat and ugly. Go with it!"
From "Comet!": "PLEASE, walk this way." (Red bounces on his butt and everyone except Chicken does the same)
Red freaking out from the comet (actually Chicken pranking him with a golf ball).
From the episode where Cow accidentally swallows Chicken, they take her to "Dr. Heiney". He proceeds to do a series of random tests before taking a "milk sample" from Cow.
Dad: Uh, doctor what is the point of this experiment?
Dr. Heiney: Well, I'm thirsty, and your daughter's a cow. DO THE MATH!
Red's epic breakdown in "I Scream, Man", and then ending up in a mental clinic for it.
Red: AAAAAHHHH!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! I don't have any ice cream! Not one, so! EVER! (Hangs near the side of the cop, then switches to a calm, quiet voice) I don't even like ice cream, (switches back to Large Ham mode) OR KIDS! It says "Eye Screem" on my truck, not "Ice Cream"! Get it? 'cause I SCREAM!!! Look at me. (screams while spinning in circles) SCREAMING IS MY HOBBYYYYYY!!!!!!.
Policeman: (hits Red with a sausage) It's the padded cell for you, scream man!
Also, he tries to give Chicken ice cubes in a cone and Cow a beaver in a cone (SURPRISE!).
Red makes a No Animals Were Harmed statement at the end of the episode... and then he complains that HE was harmed instead (more than once).
From "The Great Pantzini," Red (as The Great Pantzini) making Mike the micro-trunked elephant cry by bringing up the time he crushed the Chinese acrobats (now referred to as, "The Chinese Pancakes.") and Red trying to convince Chicken that a weenie dog is his one-trick pony.
"You don't think? What are you, communists?"
All of "Who's Afraid of the Dark?", especially Dr. Laxslax, who's scared of everything.
And it all culminates in Mom and Dad deciding to adopt Dr. Laxslax on the spot even though he's a grown man.
Dad: (jumping onto Mom in fear) Don't let 'em get me! Don't let 'em get me!
Mom: They're not after you. *laughs*
In "Sergeant Weenie Arms", when the titular drill sergeant orders Chicken, Flem, and Earl to cut down a cave-tree as part of their Weenie Marine training. With their faces.
In "Child Star", Red finishes shooting his movie with Cow as the star, only to discover that he is completely out of a movie since the camera didn't have film in it. His solution? When he goes to present the film, he improvises using shadow puppets. And it works.
Red Guy: Pretty little girl, starring in Pretty Little Girl. Uh, a pretty little girl went for a walk, (Red is revealed to be in the projector room) and met Jaime the neighbor boy whose cat was stuck in a tree. Uh, then invited all her friends to a tea party, where they, um, ooh, danced and MADE MERRY! And—and—and had cake, and, and...ohhhh... The end. (ends by showing a silhouette of his rear)
Mr. Carp: Panced! Get down here! (The Red Guy goes up to him by rolling on the floor)Oh, you're a genius!
Red Guy:(gasp) I am?
Mr. Carp:Oh yes, yes. It's got action, it's got drama, it's got dance! Oh, it's going to be a hit hit hit! Oh, welcome to Hollywood, Mr. Panced!
The cashier yelling at Chicken for having a credit card with 25 cents worth of credit on it on "Free Inside."
On "Perpetual Energy": Dad doing shadow puppets with the perpetual energy light (a bunny, a big, fat pig, and a silhouetted woman he refers to as "Grandpa").
From "The Karate Chick":
Ben Panced's (the karate teacher) line's, "In karate, butt fu is most revered. (suggestively): And rear-viewed."
Ben Panced getting attacked by a shark (and liking it) while recreating the pole balance scene from The Karate Kid.
The homeless veterinarian's story of how he went insane: he worked as a vet for a company that made sure chickens were healthy, not knowing until it was too late that it's for O.F.C. (Ohio Fried Chicken), a company that processes chickens for food. When he saw his best patient, Lamar, get turned into a chicken loaf sandwich, he tried to revive him, but to no avail. Chicken then uses this new knowledge to trigger the homeless vet and get Dick the Bully (who's only a bully on school days; on weekends, he collects money for charity and helps the poor) to fight him by wrapping himself in bread and putting himself on a roasting spit over a fire.
In The Ugliest Wienie Part 2 (Or 3), Dad exclaims that Cow and Chicken are about to become thespians, to which Mom reproachfully responds "Oh honey."
Every time Dad and Mom make comments about how one's either a man or one's a lady.
Dad: It's times like these that make me proud to feel like a MAN!