This is a list of episodes from the series Cow and Chicken, which ran from July 1997 to June 1999 with 52 episodes overall.The last short in every episode is an I Am Weasel cartoon, except for episode 5, where it is the middle short.
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No Smoking (a.k.a "Cow and Chicken Go to Hell"): Chicken is lured into Hell, where The Red Guy (known as Satan in this episode) seduces him with cigarettes, and only Super-Cow can save him.note This episode was part of Cartoon Network's anthology series What A Cartoon!—the same one that introduced a lot of pilot episodes of popular series, including Family Guy back when it was called Larry and Steve.
Field Trip to Folsom Prison / The Girls' Bathroom / This Bridge Not Weasel Bridge: Chicken switches places with a convict during a field trip to Folsom Prison; Chicken and his friends go undercover to see what it's like in the girl's bathroom; Weasel is called in to finish a trans-Atlantic bridge from the USA to France, Baboon is utterly frustrated, wanting to finish the bridge himself.
Supermodel Cow / Part-Time Job / I.R. on Sun: Cow becomes a model thanks to the Red Guy, but when her star fades, she's reduced to singing at milk bars; Cow gets a job again, this time as a milk donor — and Chicken gets a job working with Colonel Sanders expy Rear Admiral Floyd (The Red Guy) who sends him to the kill line; Weasel tries to save I.R. from a suicide mission to the sun.
Alive! / Who is Supercow? / Deep Sea Tour: Cow and Boneless Chicken get stuck on the roof and Cow thinks the two are stranded; The Red Guy tries to find out the identity of Supercow by opening a dry cleaner's catering to costumed superheroes; Baboon is running his own business that takes young children to the bottom of the sea. However, he is in trouble when he goes too deep and breaks the cable that allows the submarine to be pulled to the surface.
Confused / The Molting Fairy / I.R. Gentlemans: Cow and Chicken are sent to military school as punishment for letting a potato chip crumb fall to the floor, but when they come back too tough, Mom and Dad send them to Mrs. Beaver's sensitivity school; When Chicken learns that he can get money for his feathers, which are falling out from molting, he rips the rest off and goes on an I.O.U spree at the carnival; When it turns out I.R. is a descendant of royalty and next in line for the throne of Yurp, Weasel must train him to be a gentleman.
The Ugliest Weenie (Part One) / I Are Big Star / The Ugliest Weenie (Epilogue): Cow writes a play that the drama teacher, Mr. Fleur, decides to make the next school production; I.R. steals Weasel's pelt and puts it on so he can act in a movie; We finally see the play, with Cow and Chicken in the lead roles.
Crash Dive / Happy Meat / Power of Odor: Chicken builds a wooden submarine and gets in danger of going off a waterfall; Cow and Chicken are disappointed in their all-ketchup lunches, so they start their own meat stand in response; I.R. starts a pig farm that stinks so badly Weasel is called in to deal with it.
School Bully / Time Machine / Ping Pong at Sea: The resident school bully gets thrown out of his job by a new bully; Cow and Chicken travel back in time and accidentally alter history by dropping a quarter in the primordial soup; Weasel and Baboon compete in a ping pong tournament.
Orthodontic Police / The Cow with Four Eyes / Disease Fiesta: Officer Pantzoffski (The Red Guy) sentences Cow and Chicken (along with everyone else in town) to wear Braces of Orthodontic Overkill; Chicken fakes having bad eyesight after seeing how popular Cow is with her new pair of glasses; Both I.R. and Weasel try to find a cure for a disease, and when I.R. finds the cure, he starts spraying it on everything - with the result being it turns people into amoeba.
Cow's Instincts...Don't It? / Ballerina Cow / I.R. Plant Life: Cow runs away to follow her herding instinct; The Red Guy uses Cow's clumsy ballet dancing for his demolition company; Baboon takes the last specimen of a rare thistle, and nearly kills it. When plant doctor Weasel is called in to investigate, he learns that Baboon has created a type of baboon/plant hybrid, that Baboon has now decided to marry.
Chicken's First Kiss / Squirt the Daisies / I Am Ambassador: Chicken freaks out when a girl in his class kisses him in the Dumpster; Chicken gets trapped in a virtual reality game at The Red Guy's arcade; Weasel has to deal with an incident between Californian surfers and Canadian beavers.
Lawnmower Chicken / Cow Loves Piles / Law of Gravity: To make money, Chicken gets a job mowing Mr. Devlin's (the Red Guy) lawn, only to find it's gigantic; When Cow loses her Piles the Beaver doll at the fair, Chicken gets injured trying to find it; Baboon destroys the Law of Gravity, which makes every lawyer in the world float into space.
Space Cow / The Legend of Sailcat / Happy Baboon Holidays: Cow and Chicken get to try their dream jobs - Cow goes into space, while Chicken (who wanted to be in "marketing") is working at a supermarket; Flem's dad tells the kids a "scary story" about the eponymous Sailcat; Baboon's family comes to visit him for the holidays, and when they freeze outside and Weasel takes them in, Baboon tries to ruin Weasel's Christmas.
Headhunting in Oregon / The King and Queen of Cheese / I, Architect: Cow and Chicken's family go to Oregon, where Chicken is in danger of falling prey to headhunters; Cow goes to Cornflake, Arkansas, to help the Red Guy become the King and Queen of Cheese; When Weasel and Baboon get in an accident, their brains get accidentally switched, and they take on each other's personality.
Fluffy the Anaconda / The Laughing Puddle / I.R. Mommy: Cow gets a pet snake that devours everyone, but Cow thinks the snake can talk; a puddle that laughs begins sucking everyone in; I.R. adopts a baby he found in a cornfield after coming from a football game at the University of Nebraskanote the original cut of the episode had I.R. with a football helmet and a pennant with an "N" on it, but after several complaints from the University of Nebraska cropped up, the reruns were edited to remove the "N" from the helmet and pennant, but I.R.'s song about Nebraska being better than Oklahoma was left in but doesn't know how to take care of it properly, which Weasel teaches him to do.
Pirate Lessons / Halloween with Dead Ghost, Coast to Coast / I.M. Deity: The Red Guy gives Cow and Chicken lessons on how to be swashbucklers; Cow and Chicken dress up as humans for Halloween, but don't get any candy because everyone thinks they're not in costume; I.R. Baboon and I.M. Weasel create miniature universes that wage war against each other.
Tongue Sandwich / Dream Date Chicken / I Am Crybaby: Cow's tongue escapes her mouth and goes on a crime spree; Chicken runs away from home and lives with Boneless Chicken, who sets him up with a date with a human; Weasel must relocate the people who suffer from the Chronic Crybaby Syndrome, not knowing that they are the main source of water on the planet.
Sumo Cow / Comet! (formerly known as "Dad's Ball") / I.R.'s Phantom Foot: Cow becomes a sumo wrestler; Chicken tricks his class into thinking Dad's golf ball is a comet heading for Earth; I.R. injures his phantom foot, and goes to see Dr. Clearbottom (The Red Guy)
Dirty Laundry / Grizzly Beaver Safari / Queen of DeNile: The school's newspaper is redone as a TV news show with Geraldo Rearviewa (The Red Guy) tempting Chicken into reporting embarrassing stories about his friends; While on safari in Africa, Cow and Chicken meet the grizzly beaver, an animal so ferocious not even Supercow can defeat it; Weasel and Baboon are exterminators in ancient Egypt who are called in to deal with an infestation of asps by Queen Cleopantless.
Which Came First / Boneless Kite / I Are Music Man: Chicken wakes up with an egg between his legs (thanks to The Red Guy) and believes he's a girl; Cow uses Boneless Chicken as a kite and gets entangled in a kite duel with the Asswipe (pronouced "As-Wee-Pay") tribe; I.R. turns out to be a theremin virtuoso (after stealing a theremin from a blind street performer) and challenges Weasel to a musical duel.
Buffalo Gals / Cow and Chicken Reclining / I Am My Lifetime: In this banned episode, a group of mannish-looking female bikers invite Cow to be a member of their gang; Cow and Chicken get stuck in the reclining chair Dad has thrown out with the garbage; Weasel and Baboon reminisce about their childhood as old men.note In reruns — both on television and Netflix streaming — "Buffalo Gals" is replaced with the season one episode "Orthodontic Police"
Free Inside / Journey to the Center of Cow / I.R. Pixie Fairie: Chicken gets a free credit card in his box of cereal, and not only finds that there's only 25 cents credit on it, but the Red Guy wants his payment; Chicken gets swallowed by Cow and the family doctor (The Red Guy) climbs inside to rescue him; Uncle Breezybum (The Red Guy) narrates a Fractured Fairy Tale about a colony of baboon fairies who live in a kitchen sponge note (and not the kind of sponge who still lives with his parents, doesn't have a job, and always asks for money and the keys to the family car) and force I.R. Baboon to cater to them after they impeach the pixie fairy king, I.M. Weasel.
The Karate Chick / Yard Sale / I.R. Ice Fisher: Chicken takes karate lessons from karate teacher to get back at the bully who vandalized his beak; The Red Guy buys Cow and Chicken's front yard after seeing a price tag on it; Weasel and I.R. try some ice fishing in the Arctic.
Meet Lance Sackless / Who's Afraid of the Dark? / I.R. Role Model: Cow and Chicken glue themselves together so they can get on Lance Sackless' show Canada's Stupidest Home Videos; Mom and Dad hire child therapist Dr. Laxslacks to scare Cow and Chicken after they admit that they're not afraid of anything; When I.R. Baboon saves the Red Guy and his children from a fire, he becomes a hero, while Weasel is shunned by the public.
The Bad News Plastic Surgeons / The Exchange Student (formerly known as "The Holy Cheese War") / I.R. in Wrong Cartoon: Dr. Hiney (The Red Guy) is the new coach of the school's competitive plastic surgery team; Cow falls for an exchange student from a warring country; with the help of the "bare skinned" rug (The Red Guy), Cow fishes I.M. Weasel out of her television during an episode of I Am Weasel, leaving I.R. Baboon to carry the show by himself.
Child Star / Perpetual Energy / My Friend, the Smart Banana: Cow auditions for a movie directed by Ivan Panced (The Red Guy); Cow and Chicken create a new form of energy and Rear Admiral Floyd of the Man Navy (The Red Guy) "drafts" (read: abducts) Cow and Chicken so they can recreate it; Weasel and I.R. Baboon work at a supermarket, where Weasel befriends a banana who can talk.
Bad Chicken / Stay Awake / I.R. Wild Baboon: Chicken photocopies himself and the Copy Fairy flies in and brings the bad copy to life; Chicken eats some adrenaline- and coffee-soaked cornflakes for breakfast and becomes hyper for three days; Weasel tells the story of how he ended up in jail just trying to observe I.R. in his natural habitat.
Can Cow Come Out and Play? / Horn Envy / Time Weasel: The Red Guy gets rid of all the people in the world so he and Cow can finally play together; Cow has a crush on a boy in school and enhances her horns after realizing that she's not attractive enough for him; Weasel and Baboon travel back in time and inadvertently change history.
Goin' My Way? / The Baby Sitter / The Hole: Mom and Dad pick up a hitchhiker (The Red Guy) whom they love more than Cow and Chicken; Cow is hired as a babysitter for Chicken while Mom and Dad go to a milk bar headlined by a severely depressed stand-up comic; Weasel comes to investigate the world's largest hole, the same hole I.R. tries to fill with cement.
Cow Fly / Where Am I / I Stand Corrected: Cow makes a fly her pet; Cow gets lost in the backyard and must rely on survival instincts; Weasel and I.R. are sent to a correctional institution where everyone is forced to wear corrective devices.
Sergeant Weenie Arms / Sow and Chicken / I Am Bush Pilot: Chicken, Flem, and Earl buy an action figure who comes to life and teaches them how to be men; Cow's cousin, Sow, comes to visit and bullies her; Weasel works as a pilot/OB-GYN.
Me an' My Dog / Cow's Dream Catcher / Dessert Island: Cow adopts an invisible dog; When Chicken takes Cow's dream catcher off the wall, her nightmares come into the real world; Weasel and Baboon land on an island made entirely of candy.
Grandma at the Mall / Chicken in the Bathroom / The Unsinkable I.R.: Cow and Chicken spend the day with their grandmother at the mall; a bizarre Potty Emergency episode where Chicken holes himself up in the bathroom with no intention of bathing, but doesn't count on Cow's strong urge to get milked or she'll explode; I.R. is the captain of a ship that meets the same fate as the R.M.S. Titantic.
Chickens Don't Fly / P.E. / I Am Vampire: Cow and Chicken go on vacation to Brunei, but Chicken is afraid to fly on an airplane — and Bunny the flight attendant (The Red Guy) isn't making things better for him; Flem, Earl, and Chicken go off to their first day of junior high, where they are humiliated in gym class by obnoxious bullies and their own gym teacher; Weasel and Baboon are vampires who aren't out to suck blood, but to party.
Playing Hookie / Chicken Lips / Honey, I Are Home: Chicken fakes being sick to get out of going to school on a test day — until he learns that he skipped out on the wrong test; Chicken turns to The Red Guy to learn how to whistle; While Weasel has a perfect home life with a wife and two kids and a good job, Baboon has a terrible job and is married to the Red Guy.
The Day I Was Born / Factory Follies / Driver's Sped: Cow asks around about the day she was born; The Red Guy stars in this A Day in the Limelight episode where he's the only one at his own birthday party; Weasel gets driven nuts by I.R.'s awful driving and even worse rhyming while trying to give a driving test.
101 Uses for Cow and Chicken / Intelligent Life? / A Tree Story: Playing around with a pricing gun leads to Cow and Chicken being bought by The Red Guy, who tries to find a use for both of them; Cow goes into space and mistakes The Red Guy for an alien; the trees decide to rebel against humans.
Be Careful What You Wish For / Lost at Sea / I.R. Do: Chicken wishes that Cow wouldn't speak to him, which leads to disaster when Chicken ends up in court; Flem and Earl find themselves naked and stranded in the middle of the ocean, they spend their final minutes remembering the good times; Weasel must help Baboon when his bride stands him up at the altar.
Night of the Ed / Cow's Pie / I Are Good Dog: The family have a new pet in the form of a jackal named Ed; in this homage to Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham, Cow pesters Chicken into trying her pie; A kid adopts Weasel and I.R. as his pet dogs.
Professor Longhorn Steer / A Couple of Skating Fools / He Said, He Said: Mom and Dad force Cow and Chicken to be tutored by Professor Longhorn Steer after getting in an argument over whether the Earth is round or flat; Chicken's dream of being a champion ice skater is seemingly crushed when the Red Guy puts Flem out of commission; Weasel and Baboon tell how they can't stand each other to the same psychiatrist.
Chachi, the Chewing Gum Seal / Black Sheep of the Family / Enemy Camp: Cow makes a seal out of chewing gum and a shooting star gives it life; Cow and Chicken's cousin, Black Sheep, comes to visit, but his actions and vocabulary have everyone thinking he's a bad influence; Weasel and Baboon reminisce about how they became enemies at enemy camp.
The Full Mounty / Mall Cop / I Am Clichéd: Cow and Chicken are hounded by an office Mountie (The Red Guy); Cow is accused of shoplifting by a mall cop (The Red Guy again); Weasel and Baboon star in a cartoon that's full of the genre's tropes and clichés.
Cow's Toys / I Scream Man / I Am Gladiator: In this loose parody of Toy Story, Cow's toys (Piles the Beaver, Manure the Bear, and Crabs the Warthog) come to life and decide to run away and find a new owner; Cow and Chicken chase after a mentally-deranged ice cream man (The Red Guy); Weasel and Baboon fight as gladiators for the amusement of the Emperor Gluteus Maximus (the Red Guy).
Cloud Nine / Send in the Clowns / Revolutionary Weasel: Cow and Chicken get stuck on a cloud ride outside of the supermarket; Cow falls for a new neighbor, whom her parents don't like; Weasel tells his grandkids how his ancestor (and Baboon's) helped win the Revolutionary War.
The Big Move / Cow's Magic Blanket / I.R. Ghost: When Mom and Dad announce that they're moving away, Cow and Chicken reminisce about the good times they had in their house; Chicken takes away Cow's blanket, only to regret it when it turns out the blanket is also Supercow's cape; Weasel and Baboon are ghosts, assigned to haunt the house of White-Dwarf Starlet, Talullah Bottoms (played by the Red Guy).
Snail Boy / Penalty Wheel / The Magnificent Motorbikini: Cow and Chicken compete in a race against their cousin, Snail Boy; Cow, Chicken, Flem, and Earl are contestants on the game show U Ben Panced?; Weasel and Baboon try out Weasel's latest invention: The Magnificient Motorbikini.
Invisible Cow / Monster in the Closet / I Am Hairstylist: After being sold an invisibility potion by The Red Guy, Cow really believes she is invisible, despite not drinking it; Cow befriends a scary looking monster that lives in her bedroom closet; Weasel is a talented hairstylist, while I.R. has an awful job doing toes. And things don't look really good when the Hair-Police try to book them.
Chicken's Fairy Tail / Magic Chicken / I Am Whale Captain: In this send-up of "Jack and the Beanstalk," Chicken sells Cow for some magic jumping beans, which lead to a beanstalk with The Red Guy as the giant; Chicken's magic act leads Cow to lose her udder (which ends up on The Red Guy); Weasel the Whale Captain is looking for a giant squid.
Major Wedgie / The Loneliest Cow / Dream Weasel: Dad and Mom wake the kids so they can tell them the story of how they met in the military and how Dad almost lost Mom to Drill Sergeant Nasty Major Wedgie; depressed over not having any friends, Cow makes friends with the tree in the backyard and Chicken hires The Red Guy to remove it; Weasel creates a device that can give dreams to people who can't.
Cow's Horse / Red Butler / The Baboon's Paw: Cow adopts a horse named Blackie, much to the disapproval of Chicken, Mom and Dad; The Red Guy is now a butler named Hiney, who hires himself to help Cow and Chicken with whatever they want; I.R. discovers that he has magical paws that grant awful wishes.
Cow's a Beauty / Piano Lessons / The Sackless Games: Cow competes in a beauty contest; the Red Guy tries to teach Cow and Chicken the piano, with little success; Weasel and Baboon compete in the Red Guy's cheap knockoff of the Olympics.
Duck, Duck, Chicken / The Great Pantzini / Who Rubbed Out Cow and Chicken?: The Red Guy (as Dr. C.D. Hiney) convinces Cow and Chicken's parents that Chicken is really a duck and that he needs corrective surgery; Cow and Chicken's parents make them run away to join the circus run by The Great Pantzini (The Red Guy); Private eyes Weasel and Baboon must solve the mystery of why everyone on both Cow and Chicken and I Am Weasel has vanished.
The Cow and Chicken Blues / The Ballad of Cow and Chicken / I Are Good Salesman: Cow and Chicken meet a blind bluesman in the bayou next door who tells them the story of a gator catcher who lost his pants; Teacher, accompanied by Flem and Earl, tells the tale of how Cow and Chicken were pursued by a G-man (The Red Guy); Baboon sells fire door-to-door.