The lead-up to this is great too. First, Brock Rumlow and some of his agents get on the elevator and make small-talk; Cap is suspicious. Then a bunch of businessmen get on at the next floor and Cap notices that one is sweating. Then, they arrive at a third floor... and the doors open to reveal three massive beefbuses built like MMA fighters who (like Rumlow) are STRIKE personnel, confirming Cap's suspicions that something is about to go down.
If he wasn't kidding, then the mere fact that Steve was in a barbershop quartet is hysterical.
Friend or foe identification by Steve Rogers.
Falcon: How do we know the good guys from the bad guys? Steve: If they're shooting at you, they're bad.
A few minutes later:
Falcon: [after getting shot at with cannons] Hey, Cap. I found those bad guys you were talking about. Steve: You OK? Falcon: I'm not dead yet.
Steve repeatedly lapping Sam during their morning run.
Sam:[notices Steve about to lap him for the umpteenth time] Don't say it, don't you say it— Steve:[laps him]On your left! Sam: COME ON!
Sam Wilson suggests to Steve that he listen to the soundtrack to "Trouble Man" by Marvin Gaye and that'll tell him all he needs to know about what he's missed while he was asleep. Steve takes out a pen and notepad and adds it to a list◊ he made of things to catch up on. It reads:
Star Wars is crossed out, possibly indicating he's already seen one or all of the movies.
In the UK edition of the film, I Love Lucy is replaced with Sherlock, Steve Jobs is replaced with Sean Connery and the 1966 World Cup Final and The Beatles are on there as well.
Meanwhile, the Australian version includes AC/DC (likely thanks to one Tony Stark), Steve Irwin and Skippy the Bush Kangaroo. Thai food and the following entries seem to be the same for every countries, except for Australia, where "Thai food" was replaced by "Tim Tams".
A Hilarious in Hindsight bit comes up again from the first film; Howard noted that the Cap's original suit can stop a knife but doesn't expect Hydra agents to go for close combat. Fast forward here, and every time he faces the Winter Soldier - Cap manages to constantly disarm him of all his weaponry except the knife.
Cap goes to the exhibit honoring him and his WWII compatriots incognito. A kid recognizes him, but Cap just asks him to keep quiet with a small "Sssh." The kid's look is priceless. And adorable.
During the opening raid, we cut to a long shot of Steve running towards one of Batroc's men... and just casually knocking him over the railings without slowing down.
"Captain." "Neighbor." (The beat with Agent 13 bearing a somewhat disgusted face just kills it.)
Black Widow: What about the nurse that lives across the hall from you? She seems kinda nice. Steve: Secure the engine room, then find me a date. Black Widow: I'm multitasking!
She does it later again after throwing Sitwell off a building
Natasha: Oh wait, what about that girl from Accounting? Laura...? Steve: Lillian. Lip piercing, right? Natasha: Yeah. She's cute. Steve: Yeah...I'm not ready for that.
That scene has both the lead-up to the throwing ("Is this little display meant to insinuate that you're going to throw me off this roof? Because that's not your style." "You're right, it's not. It's hers.") and Falcon throwing him back on the roof. Sitwell is clearly shocked at all this!
"Hey fellas, either one of you know where the Smithsonian is? I'm here to pick up a fossil."
Blink and you'll miss it, but Natasha ended her text to Steve with a smiley face.
After Steve hides the data stick that Fury gave in a hospital vending machine behind some chewing gum, he returns to find all the gum gone, along with the stick, only for Natasha to appear behind him chewing gum.
Steve and Natasha's disguises at the mall which makes them look like hipsters.
Natasha growling, "Shall we play a game?" when she and Steve find the underground computer room in the old S.H.I.E.L.D. office, then trying to explain to Steve what movie it's from. And Steve's already seen it!
After Natasha uploads SHIELD's entire database (and HYDRA's with it) to the internet, she notes brightly that it's trending.
"I only act like I know everything, Rogers." And Steve telling Nat to stop lying. It's his clear exasperation, as someone who is genuinely honest, that makes it funny.
A small one, but Natasha's quiet, annoyed, "Ow" after she shorted out Pierce's shoulder ID-bomb is pretty hilarious. She sounds like a little girl who got stung by a bee, not a woman who just gave herself a massive electrical shock.
Fury in Steve's apartment.
Steve: I don't remember giving you a key. Fury: Do you think I need a key?
Not to mention that the previous guy to play Fury also had a talking car.
His grumbled "Would you like to see my lease?" response to what he thought were cops following him shortly beforehand also came off as not a little grimly hilarious. One wonders what happened to other cops who tried to pull Nick motherfucking Fury over for driving while black...
Fury reminding Falcon that the floor numbers "aren't painted on the outside of the building".
A bit before that, Falcon's trying to escape a collapsing building:
Black Widow: Stay where you are. Falcon: [sprinting to outrun the debris]Not an option!
Fury's story about his grandfather's reaction when people tried to mug him. Seems like nonchalant badassery runs in his family.
Also, Nick's parting comment: "If anybody needs me," (points to his tombstone) "they can find me right here."
Nick Fury offhandedly comments that the Helicarriers now have repulsor engines after Tony Stark's "up-close look" at the old turbines... which, if you'll remember, involved him being battered around repeatedly by the gigantic rotor blades.
...and Everyone Else
"Was he wearing a parachute?" "No. No, he wasn't."
Agent Sitwell's almost bored look while being held hostage.
Topped off with his Bond One-Liner after the pirates guarding him get sniped. "SHIELD doesn't negotiate."
When Cap escapes SHIELD HQ by jumping out of the elevator and crashing all the way down to the lobby, using his shield to absorb the impact. Sitwell watches it through a monitor in disbelief: "Are you kidding me?!"
Another funny with Sitwell: When Steve is trying to get information out of him, holding him over the edge of a building, Sitwell says it's not Steve's style to push him off. Steve agrees...and lets Natasha do it. Sitwell falls while the pair watch... before they turn to each other and discuss Steve's dating options as if nothing had happened.
Stan Lee is, of course, back. His cameo this time has him as a Smithsonian night guard at the Captain America exhibit. Upon seeing that the old WWII uniform is gone, he laments how he is so going to be fired.
And in the post-credits Stinger when Bucky visits the Smithsonian exhibit, the Captain America mannequin is missing entirely. Apparently, Cap didn't return the uniform!
After S.H.I.E.L.D. is dissolved and the personnel branch out to new jobs, Maria Hill decides to work for Stark Enterprises. Talk about an odd couple that's going to form with her and Tony Stark. We now just wait for the next Avengers sequel to come out to see the payoff.
It begins to make perfect sense when you remember that Pepper is in charge. Now, Tony Stark is going to have to go up against two of the most powerful women in the MCU.
Jenny Agutter's unnamed World Council member suddenly going kung fu on Robert Redford's Pierce is pretty funny if one is familiar with the actor. At the moment her other big role is a nun in Call the Midwife. Seeing Sister Julienne kicking ass is kind of hilarious. 'Course, it turns out to be a well disguised Natasha.
The appearance of Danny Pudi as a S.H.I.E.L.D. technician. He looks like being held at gunpoint by Captain America is the greatest moment of his life.
Seeing the Winter Soldier punt a poor S.H.I.E.L.D. technician directly into a Quinjet engine is pretty funny in a dark way.
Maria Hill sees that two enemies are approaching. She kicks herself backwards from the desk on the office chair she's sat on, shoots both as soon as they breach the door, and goes back to the computer, without even changing her expression.
Which is even better if you remember from The Avengers when the Helicarrier got breached. Yeah, apparently she learned from that.
Funny once you think about it: Sitwell mentions that two of the targets of Zola's algorithm were Bruce Banner and Dr. Stephen Strange. Now, really, how do they expect that to turn out?
It's the lowest point of the film, where it feels like all might be lost - the heroes are captured, Natasha is wounded, and they're being transported somewhere less public to be disposed of. Suddenly, one of the guards in the van activates their stun baton and knocks out the other guard, before taking off their helmet to reveal it's Maria Hill! Her first words?