Funny / Best Of The Worst 2021 Episodes

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• For Plinketto #9, Mike tells Jack he can't recall the last time they did Plinketto, followed by a cut to Patton Oswalt's mostly censored rant from the last Plinketto, about how much doing the show sucked.
  • Jack gets a big laugh out of everyone else present when he goes behind the Plinketto board for the first time and comments "Oh, there's creepy things back here!"
  • Mike says "I know it's gonna have it all" about Spacejacked, which is followed by his words being put on the screen, complete with a slow zoom freeze frame, fade to black and white, and "Psycho" Strings.
  • When they talk about Ice Cream Man being on the board, Mike and Jack try to come up with a sensitive way to describe Clint Howard's head. Mike comes up with just saying that he has a "shaped head"
    Rich: Mike, I prefer the term "alternatively handsome"
    • Jack says he remembers doing an episode on Ice Cream Man, but the rest don't know what he's talking about. Cut to a clip from a years-old "episode" where him, Josh, him, and Josh talk over each other about the movie.
    • Unfortunately, Ice Cream Man is so dull, Mike whispers to Rich to cause a distraction so he can swap the tape for Spacejacked. Rich starts to do this, making it obvious what he's doing and it just Smash Cuts back to them at the Plinketto board.
  • When Spacejacked gets introduced, it literally knocks the tape for Ice Cream Man out of its establishing shot for the episode.
    • Jack introduces Spacejacked as taking place on a luxury spaceship, prompting Mike to put Air Quotes on "luxury", and Jay to put them on "spaceship".
      Mike: Oh, this won an award: "Best Use of Cardboard"
    • A key part of the discussion for Spacejacked is talking about how cheap the set design is. It's so bad that at one point Mike jokes that the sequence of the ship "blowing up" was made because they happened to be filming while the set was falling apart.
    • The panel briefly talks about the most well known actor in Spacejacked being Corbin Bernsen, most known for L.A. Law, as the Ham and Cheese antagonist, and how he's clearly having the most fun with the role while not caring.
      Mike: I would say that he's Chewing the Scenery, but I know he doesn't like the taste of cardboard.
    • They also make fun of the film's soundtrack, and how it sounds like improvizational jazz. Mike points out that some parts sound like the instruments being tuned more than them being played.
      Jay: Corman was like "Cut, that was perfect!" and he said "oh I wasn't playing anything, I was just tuning my instrument"
      Jack (as Corman): "Oh that's great, then I don't have to pay you"
      Jay (as Corman): "It's already in the film, we're moving on. We have to score Carnosaur 3 this afternoon."
      Jack: "That is ten minutes of your service, here is your coupon to Subway."
  • From the brief description Rich reads of the back of the box for The Dungeonmaster, Jay is able to accurately guess that half of it will be in contremporary Los Angeles, will be shot in a forest for a fantasy land, and in the desert for the post-apocalypse.
    • Jay jokes that Richard Moll is so well known just for Night Court that he should just be credited as "Bull from Night Court"
    • The panel tries to come up with a better plot points and a better ending than what Dungeonmaster had.
      Mike: The guy who is a computer nerd, he should have been a game programmer...and then he makes a deal with Satan "for our escape you can challenge these mortals via these games" and all over the world people would be playing these games and it'll keep Satan busy for millenia.
      Jack: Yes, or like "I have a challenge for you, I made a game, you have to play my game", some kind of fun, clever twist.
      Mike: ...Instead, they punch each other. (everyone laughs)
    • Mike mentions how the main character should have been more of an aspirational nerd at the start than already successful, saying "he's not hideously ugly like most nerds", after which it zooms in on Jack and Rich.
  • It says a lot that the panel for this show considers the premise to The Suckling a "doozy".
    Jack: It's about an aborted fetus that turns into a mutant and kills people, so there's gonna be some abortion talks, a little bit of rape talk... content warning, Red Letter Media!
    Mike (to Jay): You wanna give the people a timecode to skip to?
    Jay: Oh, just shut the video off!
    • Mike calls one of the abortion clinic staff "Annie Potts", leading Rich to an impression of her to say "picking up or dropping off?"
    • The panel concludes that they just feel gross after watching the movie, but can't resist making some puns before moving on:
      Mike: I think we've dissected, rather I think we've pulled out as much as we could from this film.
      Rich: Let's kill this discussion early.
      Jack: You guys, I don't think this movie will work. Do we have a Plan B?... Oh, I feel terrible!
  • When picking a Best of the Worst, it's unanimously given to The Dungeonmaster, but Jack gives Spacejacked a special commendation for being a great "first movie of the night".
  • Spacejacked is "destroyed" the same way the villain killed off one of his henchmen: Telling it it's going to get "promoted" to being a better movie before being Thrown Out the Airlock.
  • During the credits sequence lingering on the open airlock, an ejected crewmate from Among Us can be seen floating by.
• Jay points out that the Spotlight Episode on Blood Shack (aka The Chooper) is being done as a precautionary episode that's quicker to film than the average episode, because of an impending snowstorm that would both snow them in and leave the studio unusable with how cold it would be.
  • Mike kicks off the episode by drinking the last Zima from their fridge, left there by Colin from Canada at least three years prior. Rich tries to do a bit with it.
    Jay: How is it?
    Mike: It's gross.
    Rich: It's not as good as you remember it?
    Mike: I think some of the carbonation has been lost.
    Jay: I think he missed what you were doing there, Rich.
    Rich: (laughs) It's okay. (to Mike) It's not as good as you remember it?
    (Mike looks at both of them confused, until Jay points to the DVD case on the table)
    Mike: Ohhhhh, you were talking about The Chooper (Rich laughs) Did you get a clean take of Rich saying that?
    Jay: Yeah.
    Mike: Well, speaking of not being as good as you remember it, we're here today to talk about—
    Jay: Oh, I'm not cutting out the part where you didn't get the joke.
    Mike: (groans)
    Rich: (laughs) Oh my god! You're going to do that to someone who's not Rich Evans?
  • When describing what year they think it was made, Mike struggles to say "roman numerals" multiple times, leading Rich to say "Mike, I'm suing you for copyright infringement."
  • The panel points out that, while Blood Shack was hilariously bad to them when they started bad movie night over a decade ago, since then they've discovered countless movies that are worse and funnier for it. Mike says it was like revisiting a hometown to realize how boring it was, Jay literally says You Can't Go Home Again, and Rich says that in the ocean of bad movies, Blood Shack was the movie they set sail from.
    • They mention some of the high-profile bad movies they've seen thanks to Best of the Worst to drive home the point. Rich brings up Miami Connection, Neil Breen, and Len Kabasinski. Mike tries to bring up Diamond Cobra vs. White Fox, only for Rich and Jay to say they don't remember doing that, and a screenshot showing "[Deleted video]" where the video used to be. ^note  The video was hit by a copyright strike
  • The panel makes fun of the sheer amount of exposition, which is delivered via voiceover over two people walking across the desert land multiple times.
    Rich: Is this the worst way to deliver expositional information?
    Jay: Not in terms of the filmmaking, cause that saves them a lot of time. So many scenes they just don't have to shoot!
    Rich: Like an opening text crawl would have been much better, right?
    Jay: Like a fantasy film? Like the beginning of Star Wars?
    • After Jay says that, they edit in an Opening Scroll parodying that of Star Wars, complete with starting with "A long time ago on a filthy mattress far away..."
      BLOOD SHACK
      War! Two old-ass farmers are fighting over the own-
      ership of a filthy, dead plot of land in the middle of
      a disgusting Arizona desert. The two have decided to
      settle their dispute over a boring game of cards for
      some reason. The winner of the card game will take
      control of the disgusting worthless wasteland, which
      includes a run down house, a gross abandoned
      shack, and a water tower that is on the brink of faling [sic]
      over at any moment.
  • They sarcastically applaud the performance of the actor who played Daniel, editing his hilariously bad death scene into The Oscars, to raucous applause from various actors over the years and a sleepy Martin Scorsese.
  • Mike invokes an edit to compare one walking scene in The Chooper to the infamously long panning shot of the Golden Gate Bridge from The Room (2003), and The Chooper beats it. Mike asks which was done to pad the runtime, and which was done out of incompetence, to which Jay responds "Yes".
  • They talk about the fake tension The Chooper keeps trying to do by simply having characters hear sounds the audience can't, or playing tense music over the longer scenes.
    Jay: Tension is lingering on a shot for a very long time as a character in American flag pants walks across the desert. It goes on for a long time that means it's building tension.
    Rich: Will this shot ever end? I don't know!
    Jay: Hitchcock always said that tension is when there's a bomb under the table and the audience knows it's there but the characters don't. But Ray Dennis Steckler shows that tension is when nothing happens.
    Mike: Who is the horror master?
• Tim returns for Episode 99, worried that he's going to be part of another episode with mystery tapes. Mike pulls a Bait-and-Switch on him to let him introduce the first movie, followed by a weird Happy Dance.
  • Much like how Spookies was re-titled Spoopies, the panel frequently re-titles L.A. Wars to La Wars
    • The protagonist's name is Jake Quinn, which the panel abbreviates to Jaquinn. Tim jokes the new title of the film is "La Wars with Jaquinn". They also call him Jaquinn Phoenix and Jack Quaid.
    • They point out how most of the main cast of L.A. Wars looks like different celebrities. One mob boss is nicknamed Jose Danson ^note Jose Conseco and Ted Danson, another mob boss is called "Not Martin Sheen", his daughter gets nicknamed "Aunt Becky", and a henchwoman is just called "My Big Fat Greek Wedding".
    • The panel explains how shooting in Hollywood is not the same as shooting in L.A., because Hollywood is just full of trash, specifically the Walk of Fame - which they clarify is where bums sleep and urinate and defecate. And then Tim says this and the entire panel goes into hysterics.
      Tim: Some of those stars that people kiss, poop has been on.
    • The older mob boss's henchman is quickly compared to Al Pacino. Tim says he looks like a younger Al Pacino, clarifying that he means "Godfather 1, Godfather 2 Al Pacino, not 'hoo-ah'"
    • They joke about how not-Pacino's new headquarters is just a warehouse, and how distracting it is from the serious scene that one of the boxes in the foreground was of a Little Tikes racecar bed.
  • Jay gives Unmasking The Idol to Rich to describe, leading to Rich profusely thanking Jay and Mike saying "I will never forgive you for this" for dooming him to have to describe Robowoman
    • Tim suggests that different ninjas in the association in the film focus on different kinds of metals, leading to the panel extrapolating from that premise:
      Rich: Duncan Jaxx, he's their top guy, he steals gold, second in command does silver, and rookies do tin.
      Tim: But then you've got the platinum ninjas...
      Mike: "You're on copper duty, 0014."
      Rich: "You're a soft boy, you're collecting aluminum. Get those cans!"
      Tim: "I feel disrespected!" "Oh, do you wanna be a talc ninja?"
      Mike: "You're going to Devil's Island 5 to get a stockpile of zinc!"
      Rich: "You better get your head on straight or we're gonna put you in the mercury division with those crazy bastards!"
    • When Duncan Jaxx says his usual bet of "00 and 7", Rich jokes that the writer was dumb enough to think it was a subtle reference.
    • Rich points out that the actor for Duncan Jaxx was only in this and Order of the Black Eagle, meaning the baboon playing his sidekick had more of an acting career ^note the baboon was the titular Shakma, as seen in a previous episode and referenced in this one, and appeared in The Fly1986.
    • They end discussing the movie by saying that this was made by Kevin Feige to start a franchise, but the horrible accident where a stuntman got his head run over with an ATV killed the franchise, so Feige was told to move on to do that movie about an obscure superhero starring a washed up former teen actor.
  • The third movie they were originally going to watch was Ankle Biters, whose description was a Hurricane of Puns of short jokes.
    Tim: "A small town is overrun by anke-biting blood-sucking dwarf vampires."
    Mike: Shouldn't it be "a small town is underrun'?" (rimshot) It's the very first pun they could have done.
    Tim: "Things get complicated when the vertically challenged coffin-creepers get their itty-bitty hands on the sword with the blood of the last slain tall vampire... With this relic, they can create a super race of Shaq-sized Draculas out of any tall human" (starts Corpsing) (strained) I don't wanna watch this anymore. "There are no short fixes to this tall problem."
    Mike: Oh my god.
    Tim: Two and a half hours.
    Mike: No, no! If anything should have a short running time, it should be this.
    • Some time after the episode, Jay even changed his Twitter bio to 'vertically challenged coffin creeper'.
    • Before they walk away, Mike notices the VHS tape is yellow, so Tim takes it out and realizes the tape isn't the movie, but a compilation of Spongebob Squarepants episodes.
  • Robowoman is panned by the group, but a contributing factor to its awfulness is how the lead actress is in her 60s, but has had a lot of plastic surgery done to try to look younger. Rich goes so far as to compare it to Sextette.
    Rich: This movie takes place in Egypt... on de Nile.
    • Mike reaches his breaking point:
      Mike: (double facepalms; the exasperation in his voice is palpable) ...I can't believe we are watching this. (Jay bursts out laughing) This is one of the movies you don't watch. You just throw it in the trash. Right?
    • Rich reaches his breaking point:
      Rich: (throws up his hands in defeat) I can't do this.
      Jay: (bursts out laughing again) You have to, Rich!
      Rich: I can't do this.
      Jay: This is what you signed up for. You're stuck here. Forever!
      Tim: ...Can we make this "Black Spine"?
    • Mike spends most of his time that he's supposed to spend describing the plot of the movie trying to pawn it off to Rich or Jay. At one point Jay talks about the possible motivation for it getting made and Mike prompts him to continue, making everyone realize what he's doing.
      Mike: (loudly whispering to Rich) He's doing it for me.
      Rich: (to Mike) Mike, you're doing a great job on passing the buck.
      Tim: (to Jay) He's doing a great job of having you tell this.
    • Jay jokes that so many shots have the character in focus (sometimes even the one talking) facing away from the camera that the director might have a "back of the head" fetish.
• Episode 100 is a combination episode: The first tape is taken from the Wheel of the Worst, the second tape is from Black Spine, and the third tape is from the Plinketto board.
  • This episode features the return of the original Wheel of the Worst, fixed by Rich Evans himself... and it only gets spun once, lands on How to Have Cybersex on the Internet, and is then immediately destroyed again.
    • The panel realizes over the course of the video that the tape's claim that the cybersex done really was live was true, when they see how many of the chats are either really awkward or get cut off.
    • Mike asks Rich to pretend he's a definite pervert and suggest how they could have adjusted the filming of the video to be more attractive.
      Rich: As a definite pervert, I would move the camera so it was over or closer behind the computer, so you could see the subjects of the video. So you could see their faces, their reactions are important...
      Jack: Oh, you think their faces were the most important part?
      Josh: Rich, in this situation, can I ask you a question? You know, treat me as one these ladies with the boobs. What angle should I be sitting, like this? [leans back in chair] How far back should I slouch?
    • When speculating on what purpose this tape has, since its claim to be an instructional tape was Blatant Lies, they conclude that this is for men to convince themselves that they really are talking to topless women over the internet.
  • As a way to incorporate all five of the panel despite only having four seats and mics, the episode has a "tag out" mechanic, where whoever's behind the camera has to swap with whoever tags out. Rich is the first one to do it when talking about the problem with making a video with live cybersex:
    Rich: They were trying to make a video, and the people they were talking to were just trying to get off. [Splurt sound effect, Mike mouths "ew"]...This was disgusting! This was absolutely disgusting!
    Mike: Rich, I just said "ew", because I know one of those people was you.
    Rich: [leans back in disbelief] I'm tagging out! That's it! Get your ass in here, Jay!
    [Flashy "TAG OUT!" graphic appears, airhorns play, Jay takes Rich's seat]
    Jay: So I was told I was supposed to come here to talk about how much of a pervert Rich Evans is?
  • Their attempts to get something salvageable from the Black Spine shelf leads them to grabbing four different tapes before they find one worth discussing. Jay was the last to pick a tape in the hopes of salvaging the segment. The result? Arranging A Funeral. They wind up bundling all the tapes together into one segment.
    • Jack is quick to tag out to swap with Rich so he doesn't have to be present during the Black Spine segment.
    • Four-line Conics was just a 10-minute video of animated representations of conics. They said it was visually appealing enough that you could play TRON: Legacy music over it, but they can't do that because they'd get a copyright claim, so they just edit in stock synth music. They also edit it so it looks like one of the women from the cybersex video is watching it on the computer.
    • When discussing Basic Computer Literacy, Mike says how much of A Rare Sentence it is to say "This computer training video does feel like The Shining".
    • Mike then tags out so Jack has to come back in to explain Monsters of Rock and Roar since he picked it. An edit shows that, as Jack explains, the tape is about monster trucks, to their immediate disappointment. Josh then says "ok, byeee" and taps out when Jack is one sentence in. When Mike takes Josh's place, they decide that the one sentence was enough before moving on.
    • When Mike pulled his tape, the title was simply "SCAIHS", to which Rich pointed out should be pronounced "SCAAAAAAAAAAAIHS". During the discussion, they look up what SCAIHS is ^note South Carolina Association of Independent Home Schools and find out they claim to have no religious affiliation, despite the tape being of a Christian service. Jack shouts "You got cancelled, SCAIHS!" before doing a Dramatic Drop of the tape, which causes the tape to break.
      Rich [during viewing]: You know what? Let's pray away the SCAIHS.
    • Fittingly enough, as they're watching Arranging A Funeral, the video dies inside the VHS player, but not before getting increasingly warbly, losing the video, and the audio getting creepily slower. Rich said "we could have stopped it at any moment, but art, live art, was going on before our eyes, and we risked the life of our VCR to tell this tale".
    • Rich says this episode feels like a wake for VHS as a whole, and Jay agrees, saying they're all miserable just like a wake. Jack says they're committed to the preservation of art, before realizing he's holding the monster truck tape, tossing it over his shoulder and continuing about how they care about preservation.
  • Once they reach the Plinketto board, every single tape on the board is Nukie. Once the ball lands, they decide to watch Fateful Findings instead, represented by Rich Evans swiftly running over to the board, placing the Fateful Findings DVD in front of the tape the ball landed on, then leaving.
    • Rich says he's hoarse and losing his voice, so he says he can't spend time talking about the movie. After a "1 Minute Later" title card, he says "Here's the plot of the movie..."
    • Rich explains that Neil Breen's character and his love interest were both kids in a flashback, and then "never saw each other again for both 40 years and also 10 years". Jay jokes that the magic they found as kids aged them differently.
    • Rich spends a good five minutes trying to explain the plot of Fateful Findings, on par with his breaking down from trying to explain Double Down. He then freezes up and shuts down, complete with smoke and sparks coming out of him, leading to him tapping out to swap with Mike.
    • Jack asks what a writer needs with four separate laptops. They come up with research into "government, banks, business, truth, lies, and True Lies"
      Jack: "That's my True Lies computer. Oh wait this is my favorite part, Tom Arnold, he's hiding behind the thin pole, he didn't get shot once. Alright, back to work!"
    • Finally, they get to the last 10 minutes of the movie, which they declare as the best part. And they find a way to bring Rich back to talk about this part:
      Jack: And then all of the [sic] sudden, at the very end of the movie, after all the romance plot is concluded...he holds a press conference—
      [Match Cut to Rich in Jack's place]
      Rich: —And then everyone fucking kills themselves! It's brilliant, it's fucking brilliant!
    • The scene of various powerful people confessing to vague crimes, followed by them killing themselves in differing ways, has the panel laughing throughout. It being intercut with Neil Breen seemingly smiling as it happens, and an unexplained shot of a sniper getting shot in the head when he tries to shoot Breen seals the deal as it being their favorite Breen movie.
  • When it's time to pick a Best of the Worst, Rich and Josh instantly pick Fateful Findings, Mike picks How to Have Cybersex on the Internet to be a contrarian, and when he looks off-camera to Jack, Jack says "Are you asking me to have cybersex with you?". He then quickly comes back on set to say his pick is also Fateful Findings. Jay's pick? Nukie.
• For Episode 101, Rich jokes that since they're just watching three movies with no gimmicks, the number is fitting since it's a "back to basics" episode.
  • At the start of the episode, Josh tells an offscreen Rich that the CDC said he doesn't need to wear a mask indoors, and it pans over to a relieved Rich taking off his gorilla mask.
  • The first movie is simply titled A*P*E, which Rich can't resist reading as "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE". Him and Mike say it that way for the rest of the episode.
    • Rich reading what A*P*E stands for sets the tone for what quality of movie it will be: Attacking Primate monstEr.
    • The most famous person in the movie is Joanna Kerns, who would go on to play the mom in Growing Pains.
      Jay: I'm just sure, for the biggest time, the cast of Growing Pains had a big laugh about how Joanna Kerns was involved with the most embarrassing thing that anyone on that show had ever done, and then Kirk Cameron made Saving Christmas.
    • They go on a tangent about how they confuse Growing Pains with Family Ties, and how a lot of 80s sitcoms blurred together.
      Mike: I often confuse Mr. Belvedere for ALF.
      Josh: (labeled "Joke #1") Alf was actually physically incapable of sitting on his own balls. [Rimshot]
      Rich: ("Joke #2") They're both obnoxious creatures that move in with the family and won't stop eating. [Rimshot]
      Josh: ("Joke #3") But only one of them admits to eating cats. [Rimshot]
      Mike: ("Joke #4") I was gonna say one ate p[bleep]y and one stayed far away from it. [Rimshot]
    • Since Joanna Kerns's character gets married to her love interest at the end of the movie, Jay wonders if this is an untintentional prequel to Growing Pains. Rich asks if Alan Thicke's character was the ape.
      Rich: Like he shaved himself off, learned psychology, lost some weight.
      Mike: He knows about music and dancing.
      Josh: Oh yeah, he wrote the fuckin' theme song for The Facts of Life.
      Mike: [Singing] "You take the good, you take the bad, you take the ape and there you got the facts of life" [Cracks up].
      Jay: [Singing] Show me that ape agaaain.
      Rich: "Kirk Cameron doesn't believe in evolution, we can't have an ape on the show."
      Mike: "The ape was in Playboy! Kirk Cameron doesn't want him on set!"
  • Obviously thinking of Star Trek: Picard, Rich Evans describes Easy Kill as "it's like Alex Kurtzman wrote a noir thriller with three and a half characters", because of the multiple twists that don't make sense in hindsight and important details left out for the sake of being reveals later.
    • After Rich explains the plot of the movie, and how much of a Designated Hero Frank Stallone's character is, Mike says "Rich, you've just said 'Frank Stallone' more than any casting agent ever has". Jay adds "You've said it more than Sylvester has."
    • During the viewing, when it's revealed that Frank Stallone's character looks exactly like the love interest's husband, Rich speculates that it might be setting up a Fight Club style twist that he's both of them.
      Josh: Noooo, that's too much for this movie.
      Mike: We're rapidly heading towards a fork in the road to extremely stupid or pretty stupid.
    • Before the reveal, the woman's husband is presented as The Faceless, and is dubbed over with the voice of a guy who sounds like he does movie trailer voiceovers.
      Josh: "Thank you for having the cocaine. Please give me the cocaine."
      Jay: "We would like to make a drug deal now, Mister Herman."
    • The panel was downright excited when they realize Cameron Mitchell is in the movie, since the last time him and Frank Stallone were in a movie together was in the thoroughly entertaining (in a So Bad, It's Good way) Terror In Beverly Hills. When the husband character mentions meeting in "the old factory", they instantly remember "the old bean factory" and joke that the movie is part of an extended universe.
      Mike: [as the deep-voiced husband] "Close the fucking door." We know it's you, Cameron Mitchell! Only you want the door closed!
    • They joke that the only reason Cameron Mitchell is in the movie, playing a bartender, is because he was already at the bar they were shooting at and asked him if he wanted to be in the film.
    • Jay points out that the movie is hard to take seriously, because the plot point that the main character just so happens to look exactly like a career criminal, and gets used in an attempt to fake the criminal's death and take his identity, is ridiculous. To prove it, he points out that that's the same plot of Ernest Goes to Jail.
    • They build on this and speculate what comedic character would work best in a parody of the genre Easy Kill is a part of, and quickly settle on Mr. Bean. They come up with multiple ways to incorporate his style of comedy, like how the suitcases get swapped only because he forgets which is which, or how he's told he looks exactly like the criminal woman's husband, only to reveal the husband is played by Brad Pitt.
  • It quickly becomes apparent how much of a Vanity Project Honorable Men is, since the writer, director, and star is all the same man, who is told by one of his love interests he's "too much man" for them.
    • Any time the Unfortunate Implications of the romantic plot are talked about, the panel gets bleeped out whenever they go a bit too hard in their accusations.
      Jay: He [the director] decided to make a movie about what it's like to be a cop, and also a [Bleep].^note Possibly the word "pedophile".
      Rich: Jay, Jay, an honorable [Bleep].
      Mike: Listen, guys, I don't know why you keep using the word [Bleep], because it's just getting bleeped out and a box is getting put over your mouths.
    • Since they couldn't remember the main character's last name, they just call him "Ryan's Babe".
    • When there's a scene of a blond girl on the phone talking about how much she wants to bang the main character, while wearing revealing shorts tight enough that her entire lower half had to be blurred out in the edit, Jay is quick to point out to Josh that the man who wrote and shot the current scene also plays the man this character is heavily hitting on.
    • Rich sarcastically wonders what the director's type is, followed by a montage of scenes filled with blonde girls and brunettes.
    • Because a subplot seems to be girls in their late teens seducing an older man, it reminds them of the plot of Poison Ivy. And because that stars Drew Barrymore, Mike remembers to bring up not only that characters in Honorable Men go to see Never Been Kissed, but that him and Rich were actually extras in that film. Mike says he was on one of the rides for the boardwalk scene for two hours and nearly threw up ten feet away from Barrymore, while Rich was just a guy walking around with a balloon, which he later lost, as an edit is quick to point out.
    • It's revealed to Josh that the rest of the panel had seen the movie before, because the writer/director/star is the brother of the writer/director/star of The Satan Killer, which was featured in their last Halloween episode.
      Josh: So this is the product of a fucking dynasty, is what you're telling me.
• Wheel of the Worst #22:
  • The first tape they land on is Tim Noah in "In Search of the Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo", which when Tim sees it on the wheel, instantly comments "Also known as the clitoris".
    • The first shot we see of the viewing has all of them incredibly bored while the tape's upbeat music plays.
    • Mike speculates that Tim Noah was an aspirational kids entertainer that used his parent's money to film a stage show to show off his talents, and Rich later mentions that it alludes that this was supposed to lead to a TV show.
      Imagination: Alright then. If you won't do it for them, then do it for the fame! The fortune! The glory! You can have your own...TV series!
      Tim Noah: I'll do it!
      Rich: Oh...he did not get his own TV series.
    • Mike mentions how the special doesn't seem to have a solid structure, and Jay critiques the ending reveal that the Wow Wow Wibble Woggle Wazzie Woodle Woo was just the power of imagination, since Tim Noah's character uses it throughout. Mike says "It's like if Luke blew up the Death Star multiple times".
    • The panel agrees that this comes across way more as a Vanity Project than someone who feels like a natural children's entertainer. Mike concludes "he's passionate about himself, in a way like David Carradine is."
  • Jay calls T-Bone's World of Clowning "the most sexually charged clown video I've ever seen."
    • When T-Bone is demonstrating the different types of clowns.
      T-Bone: First you have to decide what kind of clown you wanna be.
      Artie: You mean there are different kinds of clowns?
      Jay: Scary, or really scary!
      T-Bone: The first kind of clown is the White Face. The White Face is sophisticated-
      Jay: Oh, don't turn to the next card.
    • They note that because of the shape of T-Bone's face, he looks unintentionally creepy. They compare him to the puppet from the Saw movies and Bagul. Mike notes for comparison that, because of how he looks, Iggy Pop would also make for a scary clown.
    • The group debates on whether the little girl in the tape was actually in a wheelchair or not, with Mike pointing out that the credits show they were provided with the wheelchair, rather than it being the girl's own. They then speculate that the girl's regular wheelchair wasn't good enough for T-Bone.
    • Because they interpret T-Bone talking to the janitor as hitting on him, they call it "the greatest clown love story ever told". When they try to think of another great clown love story, a brief clip of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis pops up on screen.
    • Their discussion of the homoerotic subtext leads to their discussion of the tape ending with a supercut of the Hurricane of Euphemisms throughout the video, such as T-bone emphasizing to "use two fingers", asking where they want their "clown mouth" to be, and the janitor repeatedly asking to "give it to me".
  • One of the tapes on the wheel, that they ended up landing on, was Spiral Fitness, a video of people using a curved rod as part of Tai Chi exercises, featuring David Carradine. Rich comments that based on how Carradine is holding the rod on the cover, "he really needs to choke up". An off-camera Mike comments "It begins!"
    • They point out that they only know anything about this video because Colin from Canada mentioned it on a previous episode "27 years ago". Mike mentions that Colin thought the green section of hose David Carradine uses in the video was a stand-in for the real product, but as the video shows, it wasn't.
    • As they notice during the viewing, David Carradine isn't really trying to be serious about the product, since he shrugs during the exercise, drops it at least once, trails off while talking about it, and taps himself with it on the head a few times.
    • As David Carradine is playing with the tube in his small backyard, Jay asks what would have happened if The Bride saw him doing this when she broke into his house. Mike said she would have just taken pity on him and left.
    • During the viewing, when one testimonial says that at first it feels like it doesn't work and "you get bit every time", Mike asks "Is that a tasteful way of saying he got hit in the dick with it?"
    • Mike takes the idea that the video is a scam up to eleven by claiming that the video was laundering drug money from Mexico for Pablo Escobar and that when he tried to take a cut, Carradine was killed and his death was made to look like an accidental autoerotic asphyxiation death in Thailand. Rich is quick to add "allegedly" to everything Mike says, but then builds on it by saying T-Bone actually did the deed and was also responsible for Cobain's death.
      Rich: Well, this is a new wrinkle in the RLM Cinematic Universe.
      Mike (on the testimonials): "Say something nice about the garden hose or else Pablo Escobar will have you executed"
  • When it came time to vote for Best of the Worst, Mike split his vote between Spiral Fitness and T-Bone's World of Clowning, but only until after everyone else voted so he could change his vote to force a tie.
  • The way they destroy the Tim Noah Wow Wow video is by having "Sensei Evans" play with a cut section of a hula hoop while babbling about spirals, only to accidentally knock the tape off of a pillar at the end.
    • What adds to it is that Rich actually makes more sense than most of the people in the video.
    • The Stinger for the credits shows that the stone pillar in the ending bit was made in Mexico.
• Episode 103's gimmick is that all three movies are from hack directors previously covered on the show: Dragon Hunt by the McNamara brothers (Twin Dragon Encounter), Tartarus by David Wascavage (Suburban Sasquatch), and Born Into Mafia by Vitaliy Versace (The Last Vampire on Earth).
  • While reading the box for Dragon Hunt, Mike and Jack reminisce about how (unintentionally) homoerotic Twin Dragon Encounter was. Jack suggests that one of the twins will have a bazooka in Dragon Hunt; Mike turns it into an innuendo, then starts on a long-winded explanation of how "Bazooka Joe" was what Japanese prostitutes called American soldiers during WWII. The joke's punchline nearly falls flat until Rich's laugh saves it.
    Mike: Look it up on...Wackipedia. (amid Rich's laughter) The internet database for...perverts.
    Rich: (off screen) That was a long setup for a decent joke.
  • Everyone's thoughts are clear from the very beginning of the panel.
    Jay: This was an exciting gimmick.
    Mike: ...No.
    Jay: It was. Before we watched the movies.
  • The panel commends Dragon Hunt for having better action scenes than their first movie's, which they had to point out were all single takes of very brief fights slowed down to a fraction of their original speed to fill time.
    • Mike says that Dragon Hunt is identical to Twin Dragon Encounter. An edit points out that "no one made an "identical twin" joke after this comment".
    • The plot of Dragon Hunt involves the McNamaras being drugged by their girlfriends and put onto an island by their "old enemy", Soldier Jake, who has a human hunting game planned for them: different groups of people will chase after the brothers at different times to prevent them from grabbing a flag. The panel repeatedly finds this ridiculous, from the overly tight scheduling of each group to the fact that the game is basically just Capture the Flag.
    • The panel repeatedly finds the McNamara brothers at best uncharismatic and at worst not easy to root for, partly for killing a supposedly vicious attack dog.
      Jack: Oh, Mr. Fluffy!
      Rich: Our heroes have now killed a friendly, fluffy dog.
    • When Mike suggests scenes that could have played up the fact that the male leads are twins, Jack says that they're probably too vain to poke fun at themselves. The final edit shows the trailer for a Jackie Chan movie where he plays twin brothers from very different backgrounds that does make jokes about it, ironically named Twin Dragons.
    • Jay says that when the McNamaras see a bloody arrow embedded in a poster of them, any rational person would respond by "pulling a Lawrence Fishburne in Event Horizon and saying 'we're leaving'."
    • Mike suggests that the perfect sequel bait at the end would be for the twins to have been shot up, on the ground, and on the verge of losing, when another pair of McNamaras descend from a helicopter to save the day.
      Mike: (as a McNamara) We thought you died in 'Nam!
      Rich: (as another very Canadian McNamara) No, my death was faked, I was in the super-secret service.
  • Tartarus, by David Wascavage, gets defended a lot by Jack for the ideas it had, which the panel, even Jay, do not agree with. Jack would go on to say the film was "an A+ idea executed in a D- way"
    • The four of them go one by one to highlight each of the different ways the movie goes out of the way to show how much of an Asshole Victim John the protagonist is - from smoking crack to abusing prostitutes to scamming widows with a video tape about how the afterlife involves being tormented by aliens (which is, ironically, what's happening to John in the events of the film).
    • The panel has to remind Rich that the "best" of John's sins is when he's drunk driving and runs over a person in a wheelchair.
    • Rich and Jack both call the setting "Tartus", so a TARDIS appears every time they say it that way.
    • Rich promises to hear Jack out about why he likes the things the movie tried to do, but clearly loses interest just a minute in.
    • The panel is disturbed by one of John's torments: having some device attached to his genitals that supposedly sucks his blood out.
  • Mike has to assure Jack that the DVD cover of Born Into Mafia, by Vitaly Versace, was not photoshopped by him, not just because of the font and the picture, but because of the pull quote - "Best Crime Film" - being attributed to "People Online".
    • A clearly non-MPAA-approved "Restricted" rating is written on the box. Mike asks Rich if he's okay to watch it.
      Rich: Does it say who's restricted?
      Mike and Jack: No.
      Rich: Then I don't know!
      Jack: Well if you feel uncomfortable let us know.
      Mike: Do you have mob ties that might put you in danger for making fun of this movie?
      Rich: Nnnno?—[color bars]
    • One scene consists of nothing but a montage of main character Ivan (played by director Vitaliy Versace), in what looks like a public garden, sitting around and contemplating something. An "Actual Scene" caption is put up, and Mike jokes he's sad because he didn't get the role of a hobbit in The Lord of the Rings.
    • Versace's incredibly awkward line deliveries are enough to send the group into hysterics, among which are:
      Ivan: ...Because of you, Mom is dead - died - I don't have a mom!
      Ivan: Somebody called me from Moscow, one of my uncles, and said that my dad die - uh - got shot two days ago...
    • While the opening scene is supposed to take place in "the finest restaurant in Moscow", the panel immediately realizes it's some restaurant that got rented out for a wedding reception later that day, not only because of the white covers put on everything, but because later on in the same scene there are people in the background, which an edit assumes is people who showed up early to the reception. At one point the lighting system turns on, which the panel believes is the DJ having shown up to test out the lights while Versace was filming.
    • All of the scenes in the first act are supposed to take place in Russia, but when Ivan talks to his friend in a public library, everyone notices a magazine saying "Visit Sedona, Arizona" and multiple English books are very prominent in the shot.
    • The panel riff on the fact that nearly every scene with Ivan in the first act consists of him telling someone that he doesn't want to be in the Russian mafia and wants to move to America. They point out the scene of Ivan and his father in the limo specifically because their "back and forth" is of the same two points they bring up over and over. It gets to the point that Jay shouts "GOT IIIIT" and Mike calls it "circular dialogue", and Rich says the driver must think they're doing multiple takes.
      Jack: Well, Ivan takes the position that he would really like to go to America, but his father is really insistent, and I think true to his character, that Ivan is the only one he can trust to continue running the mafia business.
      Rich: But then Ivan makes the point that he really, really wants to go to America.
      Mike: He doesn't wanna kill people. He wants to be a doctor a lawyer, and not kill people. Very specifically not kill people.
      Rich: But then his father follows up with, though, "It's the family business, I only trust you to run the family business."
      Mike: I think the important thing to recognize, though, is that Ivan responds with "I don't want to kill people and I would really like to go to America", and not be in the mob.
      Rich: And that's a fantastic counter-counter-counterpoint, but his dad brings up an interesting point, that he built up the business for his son, and that he only trusts his son to run his family business.
    • They almost forget about the scene where Ivan is sent to a shrink that works for the mob.
      Rich: That's where we learn deep inner secrets about what's going on in Ivan's mind about how he really wants to go to America.
      Mike: And he doesn't wanna kill people.
      Jack: But Rich, the shrink, being the official mob shrink, takes a medical position that the father, who hired the shrink, really only trusts Ivan to run the family business.
      Jay: That was a shocking revelation.
    • Everyone comes up with potential ideas for conflicts after Ivan meets his love interest, like her also being from the mafia, or having to save her by using his mafia connections, or having any conflict with her whatsoever.
      Rich: "Oh my god, I spent the first 20 minutes talking about how I don't want to kill people, but now I might have to kill peopleeeee." It's almost like it writes itself, and Vitaliy Versace couldn't figure this shit out!
      Jay: He said "what about instead of things happening, nothing happens?"
      Mike: "Everything worked out perfect for Vitaliy. No problem!" What a great story for us to watch, Vitaliy.
    • When Rich comes up with an idea for "Born In2 Mafia", Mike says that the common thread of all three movies is "we're just salivating over ways to improve them".
  • After Tartarus wins Best of the Worst, they want to give Twin Dragon Encounter some retroactive praise. So they get Colin, who was given the tape after they destroyed it, to reconstruct the tape by having kept it in amniotic fluid and immersing it in the purest maple syrup. When it finally arrives in Wisconsin, it's still soaked in the maple syrup, and a disgusted Rich immediately throws it out.
• In an attempt to make Black Spine into a different game, Mike uses a rolling drum used for raffles and has the guys pick a ball with a number corresponding to a tape. Rich immediately points out that the spines being blank meant picking a tape was already random, so this just makes it random in a different way.
  • When Rich tries to bypass the system by reaching for a tape, Mike takes the tape from Rich's hand, slams it on the ground, and shouts "pick a fucking ball!"
  • Mike tries to put on a showman persona to introduce the tapes, but it falls flat on the rest of the guys
    • When Mike pulls out The Self-Levitation Video, and jokes "Well that's one way to lose weight", Rich jokes "What are you, the Crypt Keeper?"
    • "Why hello...[reads Tim's shirt] NIN. I could have sworn his name was Tim."
    • Jay's entire interaction was that he doesn't spin the drum, pulls out a 12, throws it on the ground and leaves. He briefly comes back to see Mike's reaction (or because he forgot he left his coffee mug with Mike), barely stifling a laugh.
  • Rich jokes that since a video on a trick that takes a minute to learn is 20 minutes long, he wonders how long a video on the detached thumb trick would take.
    • They joke that it would have been great if, at the end of the video, he showed the "real" way to do it, and it involved making a pact with a demon.
  • The second video, a blank, ended up being about Therapy Plus, which was a metal roller that supposedly treated pain, but Jay describes the video as "old-ass Ronald Reagan wants to rub all over this girl in a tube top".
    • Rich did some light research on Therapy Plus, but before he can say what he found on his phone, Mike gives Rich hell over his "elderly man wallet phone" case while Jay laughs in Rich's face like he's Salacious B. Crumb.
      Mike: You got your grocery store card in there too? You got your library card in there too?
      Rich: The fuck is wrong with me being efficient?
      Mike: Oh, boy. Did that come out of your fanny pack? Tell us, grandma, what did you learn?
  • Jay says that the only entertaining part of Safety 4 Kids was hearing the thick New York accents from some of the kids and adults. They joke that in real life, the bus driver in the video is way more vulgar, and had to do the video for community service.
    • There's a brief segment where a kid interviews Mike Piazza of the New York Mets about safety. While talking about protective equipment, the edit slowly zooms in on his crotch. When the girl asks what other kind of protection, Rich, as Piazza, says "always wear a condom...who's this video for?"
  • The fourth video is "Armed Robbery: Is It Worth Your Life?", and as Rich points out, the obvious answer is "no".
    • The tape says to post a sign that says "This store keeps a limited amount of cash on hand", and Mike responds "Define 'limited', because I'm a crackhead that needs 20 bucks".
    • Since the tape talks about ways to de-escalate a situation with a robber and comply with them to get them arrested later, Mike says RoboCop would be dissapointed in someone following this advice.
  • After watching the four tapes, they decided to watch two more tapes they picked from what was left. They thought the first one was a new-age tape about meditation, but was actually a recruitment tape for the cult that was the subject of the documentary Wild Wild Country.
    • Mike questions if Osho, the cult's prophet, had ulterior motives for recruiting people.
      Mike: "When you arrive, they put you into one of two groups: 'White Women from California' or 'Other'"
  • The final tape was Milton Berle's Low Impact High Comedy Workout, which Rich is quick to point out that Mike insisted they watch.
    • The panel point out that the tape came about from whoever made it trying to find an old comedic actor that was alive and could still move around. They joke that it would have been funny to have Orson Welles direct the tape.
      Rich: "Orson Welles' Hypocritical Workout"
      Mike: He's just sitting in a chair—
      Jay: Just chugging bottles of wine.
      Tim (as Welles): "You call that moving?"
    • Tim happened to have a story about a friend that met Milton Berle, who supposedly confirmed a rumor about his size. Specifically that he compared sizes to Bruce Willis and "pulled out just enough to win".^note This is actually a very old joke about Berle's endowment which is credited to Jackie Gleason.
      Tim: My friend is not...he doesn't fuck around. And he has the picture.
      Rich: Of Milton Berle's penis?
      Jay: It's a picture of Bruce Willis and Milton Berle with their dicks next to each other.
      Rich: Bruce Willis looks very upset in the photo.
      Jay: This would explain a lot about Bruce Willis. He doesn't give a shit anymore, do you think that maybe started when he saw Milton Berle's dick?
      Tim: Little Did I Know this show would get me to talk about big dicks so much.
    • They point out that one of the elderly people was a tall black man, and Jay jokes that, when Milton Berle dressed up as Jane Fonda and Richard Simmons, he vetoed Berle doing a bit as Billy Blanks.
      Jay: "It may take me 15 minutes to lean down and get on my knees, but it'll take me two seconds to murder Milton Berle."
• Halloween Spooktacular 2021, featuring Primal Rage, Dorm of the Dead and Don't Panic
  • Rich, horrified that they are going to watch another Donald Farmer movie, asks who picked Dorm of the Dead. Mike and Jay, both manning cameras, turn and point at each other.
  • Jay, acting blind and wearing replica pajamas from Don't Panic^note manufactured and released as a part of Vinegar Syndrome's limited edition Blu-ray release. attempts to throw Dorm of the Dead into the "fireplace" on set.
    Jay: It's just a fuckin' TV?! This is bullshit!
• Christmas 2021, featuring Feeders 2: Slay Bells, Fay's 12 Days of Christmas, Safety Awareness for Forklift Equipment, and Santa with Muscles
  • Mike attempts to ask "You guys still watching the video about forklifts?", only to stumble and fall down on the floor.
  • In the episodes closing credits, Steven Spielberg is credited with directing the Forklift safety tape.

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