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This is one turkey you will not be giving thanks for! ThanksKilling
(also known as
) is a comedy-slasher film released in 2009.
In 1621, after being slighted by pilgrim Chuck Langston, skilled shaman Feathercloud used powerful necromancy to resurrect a turkey as a monster, which proceeded to massacre the pilgrims on the first
, before entering a state of hibernation.
Five-hundred and five years later, college student Kristen Roud and her friends - Johnny, Ali, Darren and Billy (who is descended from Langston) - are heading to their respective homes for Thanksgiving break, just as the evil turkey wakes up, killing a dog who found him in the process. Pursued by the dog's revenge obsessed owner, Oscar, the turkey embarks on a killing spree, intent on wiping out Kristen, her friends, and everyone else he comes across.
This film provides examples of the following tropes: Aerosol Flamethrower: Kristen uses one to set the turkey on fire. All Women Are Prudes: Ali is a self-proclaimed one, but she is an idiot, and the others are quick to point out she is, in fact, a slut. Amicably Divorced: Sheriff Roud seems pretty unfazed by his wife's request for a divorce:
Sheriff Roud: "Goddamn Sheryl! That coffee tastes like shit! What you do, take a dump in it?"
Sheryl: "As a matter of fact, I sure did. I want a fuckin' divorce!"
Sheriff Roud: "... Awright then." An Axe to Grind: The turkey kills Oscar's dog, and the pilgrim in the opening (plus another in a flashback) with one. Anything That Moves: A motorist stops for the turkey due to wanting to have sex with it. Aside Glance: By the turkey, repeatedly. Attack of the Killer Whatever Badass Moustache: Chuck Langston had one. Batter Up: Kristen uses one against the turkey. Beat Still, My Heart: Darren's death. Big Bad: The Turkey Big Damn Heroes: Oscar showing up to blast the turkey as it flees its tipi. It gets better, though. Big Eater: Billy. Big Ol Eye Brows: The turkey, in his origin flashback. Bigger on the Inside: The turkey's tipi. Bittersweet Ending: At least Johnny's dad died thinking his son was a football star again. Blah Blah Blah: The turkey's response to the group reading the demonic saying meant to rob him of his powers, until it actually starts effecting him. Blood from the Mouth: Johnny's death (he was stabbed with an electric carving, but it never really focuses on the wound itself). Bond One-Liner Boom, Headshot: The turkey blows a guy's head off with a shotgun, and later sustains a gunshot wound to the face courtesy of Oscar. Brainless Beauty: Ali. Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Feathercloud's tipi had several dead animals hanging in it... along with a severed penis. Broken Heel: The pilgrim in the opening trips on a rock. Cassandra Truth: Kristen, initially. Chase Scene: The film opens with one. Chest Burster: Billy's death. Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Sheriff Roud. Cluster F-Bomb Contrived Coincidence: Sheriff Roud having one of the books about the killer turkey legend lying around. Crazy-Prepared: Johnny sees himself as this, just because he happened to have some rope and a lighter on hand. Daylight Horror: The beginning, and when the turkey is hitchhiking. Death by Sex: The guy who wanted to have sex with the turkey, and Greg and Ali. Deliberately Monochrome: Johnny reminiscing about his father playing football with him, plus the turkey's origin flashback. Developing Doomed Characters Don't Explain the Joke: "Well, I took this here axe, and I axe-ciddentally cut him. Get it? Axe-ccident!" Don't Go in the Woods Dramatic Unmask: The turkey taking off Sheriff Rouds's severed face is treated this way. Eye Scream: Johnny's mother's body is missing the eyes. Fanservice: The film opens with a topless female pilgrim being chased through the forest. Fan Service Extra: Said pilgrim. Fat Idiot: Billy. Faux Affably Evil: The turkey. Feathered Fiend Final Girl: Kristen. Five-Man Band: Flashback Effects: The turkey's origin is shown via a black and white animated sequence. Flipping the Bird: Done by Johnny to Billy. Fly-at-the-Camera Ending: The turkey leaps at it. Gasshole: Johnny's father, Bill. Giggling Villain: The turkey. The Glasses Come Off: Darren, after Billy's death. Go Into the Light: As he's dying, Darren hallucinates Billy telling him this. Go Karting with Bowser: The turkey manages to have a casual conversation with the sheriff while wearing a disguise. At least until he mistakes him for a duck. Gorn Gory Discretion Shot: The turkey killing Oscar's dog. Gratuitous Rape Gross-Up Close-Up: Done several times, most prominently with Billy's spilt innards. Hammer Space: Where does the turkey keep those weapons? The Hedonist: Chuck Langston is heavily implied to have been one. Hollywood New England: Apparently. Horror Doesn't Settle for Simple Tuesday The Hunter: Oscar. I Drank What?: Sheriff Rouds drinks coffee that tastes like shit. For obvious reasons... I Have a Family: Said by a guy the turkey holds at gunpoint. To be a dick, the turkey forces him to call his daughter, then kills him. I Love Nuclear Power: After being shot in the head, the turkey is revived by radioactive waste contained by the dumpster he lands in. I'm Melting: The turkey's overblown reaction to being set on fire. Immune to Bullets: The turkey. Impersonating an Officer: Done by the turkey, via wearing Sheriff Rouds's face like a mask. Improvised Weapon: The turkey at one point stabs someone in the ass with a meat thermometer. Incoming Ham:
The Turkey: "Nice tits, bitch!" Incredibly Lame Pun: The turkey delivers these on a regular basis. Informed Species: The turkey looks like a vulture. It's All My Fault: Said by Johnny. Kick the Dog: The turkey hacks Oscar's dog to bits, rips open a baby bunny and throws it into a fire, and forces a guy to call his daughter before killing him. Goddamn. Kill 'em All: Almost all the main and supporting characters end up dead by the end of the film. Killed Mid-Sentence: The motorist who picks up the turkey. Kill It with Fire: Apparently the best method of disposing of the turkey. Knife Nut Large Ham: The turkey, despite being a puppet. Loud Gulp: Done by Oscar's dog after it stumbles across the turkey. Loud of War: When Kristen screams when she first encounters the turkey, it evidently causes him some distress. Lovable Jock: Johnny. Magical Native American Mathematician's Answer:
Johnny: "But, we gave your people land, and we let you have casinos. Doesn't that make up for what out ancestors did?"
The Turkey: "It almost did... but it didn't." Meat-O-Vision: A hungry Billy hallucinates the turkey is a cartoony-looking cooked one, and somehow eats it whole. This does not end well. Mobile Menace: So it turns out the turkey can drive. Mr. Exposition: Darren. My Car Hates Me: The jeep briefly breaks down, forcing the main characters to camp out for the night. Name's the Same: In-universe, we have group member Billy, and Johnny's father Bill. Neck Snap: Ali's death. Nerd: Darren. Nice Hat: One of the family members in the ending is wearing a rather fabulous turkey-shaped hat. Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Turkeys and radioactive waste apparently mix rather well. Thanks for showing us, Oscar. No Budget: $3,500 No Name Given: The filmmakers toyed with the idea of giving the turkey a name, but were unable to decide on one, and ended up just settling for "the Killer Tuckey". Noodle Incident: Whatever it was Langston did to offend Feathercloud. Not Quite Dead Odd Friendship: Billy (redneck) and Darren (nerd). Off with His Head!: Bill and a pilgrim (in a flashback). Oh Crap: The turkey's reaction to being confronted by a shotgun-wielding Oscar, and later right before Kristen sets him on fire. Our Demons Are Different: The turkey is implied to be one. Our Monsters Are Weird Paper-Thin Disguise: The turkey tricks Sheriff Roud with Groucho Marx glasses, and a few minutes later tricks everyone else by wearing the sheriff's face and hat. Peek-A-Boo Corpse: Johnny coming across his mother's strung up body. The Pig Pen: Billy. Police Are Useless: There's only one cop in the film, and he's a dumbass. Power Source: The turkey's talisman. Taking it, and chanting a demonic saying backwards, will remove his invulnerability. Pre-Mortem One-Liner Pungeon Master: The turkey. Black Comedy Rape: After killing Ali's boyfriend mid-coitus, the turkey picks up where he left off:
"You just got stuffed!"
Reaction Shot Really Dead Montage: Used for Billy's death. Recycled In Space: "To be continued... IN SPACE!" Regularly Scheduled Evil: The turkey roams the Earth every five-hundred and five years. Right Through His Pants: Ali and Greg's sex scene. Rule of Three: Attempted with the JonBenet Ramsey joke, but Billy bungles it the third time. Scream Discretion Shot: Screams, presumably made by more pilgrims, can be heard coming from the direction the one in the opening is running from. Said pilgrim's death, and Sheriff Roud's, are also handled this way. Sequel Hook: The now cooked turkey comes back to life in the middle of a family's Thanksgiving dinner.
"Do I smell sequel!?"
Shaky P.O.V. Cam: The turkey's POV is purple tinted. The Sheriff: Roud. Shirtless Scene: Provided by Billy early on. Sickly Green Glow: The turkey develops one after being exposed to radioactive waste. Skyward Scream: When Oscar is raging over the loss of his dog at the feathers of the turkey. Slashed Throat: Greg and Johnny's mother's deaths. Thanksgiving Day Story Time-Compression Montage: When the group are looking for a book about the turkey legend. Title Drop: "It's a pretty famous story. Turkeyologists all over the world know it as... Thankskilling." Title In: "The year is 1621, the olden days." Toilet Humor: Oh god... Tongue Trauma: The turkey rips out Darren's tongue. Too Dumb to Live: Everyone in the entire film. Forget the Fridge Logic of the characters not being freaked out by the fact that the turkey talks, the kids can't even tell the difference when the turkey is masquerading as the Sherrif—and one of the kids happens to be the Sheriff's daughter. Totally Radical: When Darren is describing what he wants to do during the break. Man on Fire Fish out of Water: Averted. Turn of the Millennium The Undead: The turkey was created through necromancy, so he presumably counts. Undercrank: Used when the gang meet up outside the school. Unusual Euphemism: "Pink pumpkin pie." Unusually Uninteresting Sight: The turkey. Urine Trouble: Oscar's dog pees on the turkey. He gets pissed. Villains Out Shopping: The turkey is shown preparing a salad in his tipi. "Well Done, Son" Guy: Johnny and his father have a pretty cruddy relationship, since Johnny is no longer a star football player. Why Won't You Die?: Said by Darren to the turkey, right before it kills him. World of Ham Writers Cannot Do Math: The turkey was created circa 1621, and awakens every five-hundred and five years. That would mean the main events of the film take place somewhere around the early 2100s. Your Cheating Heart: Ali has a boyfriend, but that doesn't stop her from continually making it clear she wants to get it on with Johnny. Your Mom:
Darren: "So guys, I was thinking, y'know, since it's Thanksgiving and all, that we should go around and say what we're thankful for."
Billy: "I'm thankful that your mom has the juiciest poon in town."