Fanfic / Threadbare South Park

The four boys. Oh, and Charlie, too.

"So I guess we learned that lying is okay, because it all works out in the end."

— Charlie Pierzynski

"Threadbare South Park" is a series of South Park fanfics by Molly Griffin, better known as ThreadbareSP.

The series tells the story of Charlie Pierzynski, who moves to South Park and befriends the four boys. Also, Charlie is a girl.

The fanfics to date are:

• Charlie
• Brainwashing
• Sisters Suck
• Project B
• Post-Dramatic Stress Disorder
• Gender Confusion: The Trilogy (A remake of the first three stories)
• Fall of the House of Pierzynski (incomplete)
• Mistletoe Immunity (incomplete)
• Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner (also known as Roland's Revenge)
• Elephant Balls
• Hedgehog
• Girl Scout Cookies
• One of the Girls
• Mysterion Has TittyVision
• Dating: It's a Process (Valentine's Day special)
• Mysterion Saves the Day (non-canon)

Charlie Pierzynski's official twitter account is @iGenderConfused

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This series provides examples of:

• Abusive Parents: Charlie has an incredibly abusive mother who FORCE FEEDS HER BLEACH.
• Accidental Pervert: In Project B, Charlie accidentally sees Stan completely naked and starts repeatedly making Freudian Slips.
  Charlie: [Davy] is doing great for such a little penis. Guy. Not penis. Guy. I meant guy.
  Stan: What's that supposed to mean? "Little?"

• All Men Are Perverts: Kenny has tried repeatedly to get into Charlie's pants. Sorta gets deconstructed in Mysterion Has TittyVision, where Kenny starts thinking that Charlie has developed breasts and becomes so desperate for some action that he masturbates in front of Charlie (who thankfully wasn't aware of what he was doing) and straight up asks her if they could have sex, which causes Stan, Kyle, and Charlie to paint him as a creep. He does learn his lesson in the end though, after Charlie flashes the rest of the boys to prove to them that she doesn't have boobs, in which Kenny realizes that there's more to a girl than just her breasts (although the rest of the boys learn the opposite instead).
• Alpha Bitch: Bebe in One of the Girls
• And There Was Much Rejoicing: When Roland the headless Thompson gunner kills Taylor Swift, the boys and Charlie let out a group "Hooray!"
• Annoying Younger Sibling: Cartman considers Becca (Charlie's little sister, and later, Cartman's foster sister) to be one.
• Artistic License – History: Warren Zevon appears in Roland's Revenge, even though he died in 2003. The author also points this out.
• Author Appeal:
  • Charlie is a fan of Johnny Cash.
  • A sort of reversal. Both Charlie and her creator hate Taylor Swift and Glee.
• Berserk Button:
  • Do NOT separate Becca from her Game Station.
  • Also, don't make Candy Mountain jokes about Charlie. (Though her creator encourages you to.)
  • Don't call her a boy, either.
• Big "NO!": Cartman when he finds out Girl Scout Cookie season is over.
• Big Sister Instinct: Charlie towards Becca.
  • Although Cartman is a massive prick, he gets pissed at Kenny when he and his foster sister Becca kiss in Elephant Balls (even though it was Becca who kissed Kenny, not the other way around).
• Big Stupid Doo Doo Head: Cartman and Charlie resort to a much more profane version of this in Girl Scout Cookies.
• Boastful Rap: While not a rap, Cartman does sing a little bragging song in Girl Scout Cookies:
  We are gonna be rich! Girl Scout cookies are awesome! We are gonna be rich! From selling our awesome Thin Mints! Stan and Kyle will be jealous because they totally suck ass!
• Boyish Short Hair: Charlie, which is one of the reasons why she gets mistaken for a boy. She reveals that she purposely cut it short so her mom wouldn't pull on it anymore.
• Broken Aesop: Played for Laughs in Elephant Balls. At the end of the story, Kyle says they should never lie, when Charlie points out that although they lied about Mr. Garrison having cancer, they were still able to raise money for his scrotum elephantitis surgery (of course, they had to lie because everyone they talked to thought scrotum elephantitis was a juvenile joke they made up).
• Caught with Your Pants Down: In Mysterion Has TittyVision, Stan and Kyle are absolutely disgusted with Kenny when they catch him masturbating in front of an oblivious Charlie. Kenny tries to defend himself by stating that he hasn't been able to jack-off for several weeks, apparently suffering from some kind of erectile dysfunction, but Stan still chews him out for being a creep towards her.
• Character Blog: Charlie has an ask account and a Twitter.
• Children Are Innocent:
  • Zigzagged with Charlie; she isn't above using profanity and threatening other people, but she's definitely one of the more nicer and considerate characters in the story. Plus, she doesn't seem to know what sex is (or what male genitalia is for that matter).
  • Played more straighter with Charlie's little sister Becca, who is as innocent as a four-year-old can be.
• Christmas Episode: Mistletoe Immunity, where Charlie tries to make Christmas accessible to Jews.
• Companion Cube: Mr. Bananapants, Cartman's old stuffed monkey, is one to Becca.
• Crossover: While there hasn't been any in the official series, the author has made artwork of Charlie with other South Park OCs, notably with ParkerPants's character Lloyd, who has a relationship with Charlie.
• Dead Fic: Shaping up to be one, considering how long it's been since any of the stories have been updated.
• Disappeared Dad: Charlie's dad.
• Disproportionate Retribution: Charlie's punishment for disobeying the Girl Scout Law?^note Which, by the way, is catering to a man's every whim. She gets attacked by the friggin' SWAT TEAM.
• Enemy Mine: When the ghost of Roland the headless Thompson gunner is enraged by Taylor Swift's music, he has the boys take him to her.
• Entertainingly Wrong: Project B has Cartman utterly confused about why he doesn't mind having Becca around, given his usual behavior to pretty much anyone. Cartman at first thinks that someone is mind controlling him to like her but it's actually Cuteness Proximity, which he still maintains is still mind control when he finds out but a type done by accident.
• Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Even Fatasses Love Their Foster Sisters: Becca and Cartman seem to get along well, not to mention Becca's speech towards the end of Girl Scout Cookies.
• Fat Bastard: Cartman, of course.
• Fish out of Water/Only Sane Man: It's indirectly stated that Charlie had just moved to South Park, so she's unfamiliar with the idiocy and jerkassery of its citizens (such as being the only one who's even remotely shocked about seeing Kenny get killed).
• Forgotten Fallen Friend: Kenny in Roland's Revenge, except by Charlie.
• Fourth-Wall Mail Slot: Charlie's ask account.
• Gender-Blender Name: Charlie vaguely states that her name is actually short for Charlotte, but it turns out her mother actually gave her the name "Charlie" as a joke. Charlie herself, however, understandably didn't find it funny.
• Happily Adopted: Charlie and Becca at the end of the first story, who have been taken in with the Marshes and the Cartmans, respectively. Devy, their baby brother, also gets adopted in Project B, albeit to somebody else named Mrs. Borat.
• Innocent Fanservice Girl: Charlie in Mysterion Has TittyVision. She comes up with the superheroine persona Stethoscope, who sports a skin-tight leotard which titillates Kenny (as Mysterion). Later on, after discovering that the Mysterion thinks she developed boobs, Charlie lifts up her shirt in front of the rest of the superheroes to prove that she doesn't, unintentionally arousing everybody in the room (except for Mysterion himself, who finally comes to his senses).
• Insane Troll Logic: In One of the Girls, while the boys and Charlie are discussing the Martin Luther King, Jr. dance, Stan brings up that he's taking Wendy as a date, which makes Cartman, Kenny, and Charlie say makes him gay.
  Stan: Wait, wait... So you're saying if a boy chooses to invite a girl to a social event, he's homosexual?
  Cartman: We're saying he's a total pussy.
  Charlie: Yeah. And if he's a total pussy asking a girl to a dance... well, then that makes him a lesbian, doesn't it?
  Kenny: (A guy with a pussy plus a girl with a pussy equals two pussies.)
  Charlie: Right. Lesbians.
• Is This Thing Still On?: In Girl Scout Cookies, when Charlie and Cartman are shouting at each other, Cartman answers the phone and asks them to hold, and proceeds to call Charlie a "little asswipe". Cartman gets back to his call, only to see the person has hung up on him.
  Charlie: You never pressed hold, shit-brain.
• I Want You to Meet an Old Friend of Mine: Shelia apparently had a rivalry with actress Bonnie Hunt in high school. When Hunt calls up Kyle to have him appear on her show for saving Charlie's life, Shelia takes advantage of the situation to try and humiliate Hunt by showing a slideshow of old photos of her. It backfires a bit when Kyle manages to find photos of Shelia to get back at her for trying to do such a thing, but Shelia may have still gotten the last laugh as she tries to sell Hunt's photos out on the streets.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Cartman thinks he's being mind controlled in Project B because he's starting to like having Becca around. Craig thinks that maybe Cartman is actually developing a soft spot for her but Cartman himself points out that liking and caring for someone else is not like him at all.
• Killer Rabbit: Binky the hedgehog.
• Lady Looks Like a Dude: In addition to having a male name, Charlie has a very boyish appearance.
• Literal-Minded: From Girl Scout Cookies:
  Cartman: (singing) We are gonna be rich! Girl Scout cookies are awesome! We are gonna be rich! From selling our awesome Thin Mints! Stan and Kyle will be jealous because they totally suck ass!
  Becca: Ew! Sucking ass would taste like poo!
  Mrs. Cartman: It's actually more fun than it sounds.
• Mistaken for Gay: Some characters who actually realize Charlie is a girl make this mistake instead.
• Multiple Endings: Mysterion Saves the Day has two versions: one where Mysterion saves Charlie from being raped (which the creator sees happen in many fanfics, which irritates her), and another, more in-character one where he tells Charlie to be careful when walking at night so she doesn't slip and fall.
• Musical Episode: Mistletoe Immunity.
• Nice Girl: Charlie. Compared to the four boys (Cartman especially), she's a straight-up saint.
• Never Bareheaded: Like most South Park students, Charlie is often seen wearing a hat (a blue beanie).
• No Celebrities Were Harmed:
  • Warren Zevon and Taylor Swift both appear (and die) in Roland's Revenge. Needless to say, the characters don't really care for the latter's music or death.
  • Bonnie Hunt also appears in Brainwashing.
• Official Couple: Kyle and Charlie (kind of).

• Orphaned Series: Shaping up to be this. There haven't been any updates for several years. There has been some activity from Charlie's Twitter, but not much.
• Our Slogan Is Terrible: Cartman comes up with the slogan "We Whore Ourselves With Cookies" for the GSCV in Girl Scout Cookies. Charlie is not amused.
• Parental Abandonment: Charlie's birth father seems to have walked out on her and her mother.
  • Same goes for Becca and Davy's father, though this is due to his job and criminal record, and otherwise, cares for his children and stepdaughter Charlie.
• Parental Neglect: Charlie's birth father doesn't seem any better then her mother, displaying no care for his daughter, even referring to her as an "it" when she was born.
• Precocious Crush: Becca has one on Kenny in Elephant Balls. In the end, she dumps him for Butters.
• Put on a Bus: Davy (Charlie's baby brother) in Project B, who gets adopted by a new family after Kyle's family takes him in.
• Real Men Cook: The subplot of The Fall of the House of Pierzynski involves Cartman, with the help of Chef, trying to exact revenge on Western society for "feminizing" cooking.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: Surprisingly enough, most of the adults come to Charlie's aid after hearing about the abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother.
• Running Gag: Charlie being mistaken for a boy.
• Sadist Teacher: Mrs. Grimm, Mr. Garrison's substitute in Elephant Balls, who sends kids to the principal at the slightest provocation.
• Self-Insert Fic: Averted. The only similarities between Charlie and her creator are being brown-haired American Caucasian females who hate Taylor Swift and Glee. See this for more details.
• Sixth Ranger: Again, Charlie. Thankfully she's not a Sailor Earth.
• "Shaggy Dog" Story: Cartman, Stan, and Kenny's speech to the Mayor in Elephant Balls proves ultimately useless when she tells them that the school board, not her, is responsible for getting Mr. Garrison the surgery he needs.
  Cartman: Oh, goddamn it!
• Shout-Out:
  • In Hedgehog, Stan, Charlie, and Kyle reenact the Holy Hand Grenade scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
  • Stethoscope's power to communicate with sea creatures is a nod to Aquaman.
• Spoof Aesop:
  • Zigzagged in Mysterion Has TittyVision. Kenny learns a pretty straightforward lesson that there are more to women than just their boobs, but the rest of boys learned the opposite: boobs are awesome!
  • The moral of Elephant Balls is that it's okay to lie sometimes, such as saying your teacher is dying of brain cancer instead of scrotum elephantitis.
• Stay in the Kitchen: The Girl Scouts preach this in Girl Scout Cookies, saying that girls shouldn't have to work and need to snatch a good man for themselves so they can work.
• Super-Senses: Charlie's superhero persona Stethoscope has the power of super hearing.
• Superhero Episode: Mysterion Has Titty Vision. Charlie wants to join Coon and Friends and adopts the persona of Stethoscope, but the guys won't let her join. However, when they became so disorganized, they decide to make her their secretary. Also, Kenny seems to be under the impression that Charlie is "developing", which causes him to lose focus.
• Take That!:
  • Taylor Swift gets one in Roland's Revenge. As do the Girl Scouts in Girl Scout Cookies.
  • The first episode unsubtly mocks SpongeBob SquarePants.
  • Mysterion Saves the Day is this to overly-dramatic Mysterion Dark Fics.
• They Killed Kenny Again: This is a South Park fic. What did you expect?
  • Notably, in Roland's Revenge, when Kenny dies, Charlie is devastated (note that she hadn't seen Kenny die beforehand). Everyone else, on the other hand, doesn't care, and calls Charlie a Wuss.
• Tom Boy: Compared to the other female characters from the show, Charlie is very unladylike.
• Typecasting: In-universe example. Token is chosen to organize the Martin Luther King Jr. dance in One of the Girls.
• Valentine's Day Episode: Dating: It's a Process
• Viewer Gender Confusion: An in-universe example. Everybody thinks Charlie is a boy (Bebe even asks "him" out in the first fic) until she makes it clear she is female.
• What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: Coon and Friends are less than impressed with Charlie's superhero persona Stethescope, who has super hearing and the ability to communicate with sea creatures.

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