Fan Fic: You Awaken In Razor Hill

You are an Orc Hunter and your name is Tednugent. You feel this is an exceptionally clever name, but nobody ever seems to get the joke. You have a Cat for a pet, his name is Scratchfever. You feel this is also an exceptionally clever name. Nobody ever gets this joke, either. You are level 80. Scratchfever is also level 80. You do not remember how you came to be logged out in Razor Hill, but the place looks deserted. There are no NPCs in sight and your Track Humanoids, which is currently active, is turning up completely blank.
— The beginning of madness

Imagine Silent Hill 2, set in the world of World of Warcraft, and being narrated and played as though it were a Text Adventure game. This is the basic concept behind the Fan Fic known as You Awaken In Razor Hill.

The story follows Tednugent, a level 80 Orc Hunter, and his feline companion, Scratchfever, as they find themselves in the middle of Razor Hill, a small town, after a night of heavy drinking. It quickly becomes clear that something is very wrong: the town and its environs are completely deserted, large swaths of geography are seemingly erased from existence, leaving gaping holes, and the area quickly becomes enveloped by a foreboding black fog. Ted and Scratch soon become embroiled in a struggle for survival and sanity as the darkness brings with it horrors of its own — horrors almost as dangerous as the inane, conflicting reader-submitted ideas constantly vying for attention in Ted's mind.

It can be read from the beginning here.

Tropes specific to You Awaken In Razor Hill:

  • Action Survivor: Ted. Eventually becomes more of an Action Hero.
  • And I Must Scream:
    • The Undead Blips. The reveal of what they actually are is one of the most horrifying moments in the entire story.
    • Also, Mary herself.
    • And Pyramid Hogger quite probably counts as well. Let's just say this isn't a nice place to be a character in.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever: Early on, Ted muses if there were bigger versions of the "Lesser" Ravening Worms he fought in Tiragarde Keep. Sure enough, he faces a 25-foot long Middling Ravening Worm en route to the Echo Isles which he sics Larry on. Near the end of the story, his "Track Hidden" ability detects a "Greater" Ravening Worm inside the Barrens, but it isn't seen until Ted, Annie and Scratch finally go on the offensive. The creature is described to be as thick as a sizable portion of Orgrimmar and around a quarter of a mile in length.
  • Bag of Holding: As this is the World of Warcraft universe, Ted's bag can hold, among others, a full cactus costume made from an actual cactus, vials of troll sweat, multiple weapons, multiple Random Armour Parts, utility items such as the Hazardous Shovel Array, This Thing, and an Arcanite Ripper. This doesn't seem to encumber Ted at all.
  • Beat Still, My Heart: The Teddy Bear Zalazane gives to Ted is actually Mary's still-beating heart. Ted himself seems to be the only one not to notice.
  • Big Bad: Mary's Hate.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Annie during the climatic battle.
  • Big Eater: Starving Amphibious Sharks are always hungry. "A Pit of Endless Ravening"-hungry. The slightest indication that there might be food nearby sends all of them into a frenzy.
  • BFG: Actually a Big F&%^ing Bullet: the Godstorm Shell. Essentially what happens if you make a miniaturized nuclear warhead using voodoo. It's big enough that when Ted tries to use it against Pyramid Hogger, it won't fit into his rifle, and he has to jury-rig a matching BFG together later in order to load it.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick: Scratchfever, who is a saber-toothed lion, giving relationship advice:
    He's tried so very hard to drill these simple, simple lessons into your head.
    Just be yourself.
    Ask her about herself and really listen to her.
    Kill her cubs upon becoming Dominant Male to force her back into estrus and ensure that the next generation descends from your genes.
  • Catch Phrase: "Best *&%^ing tailor in the world!"
  • Character Development : At the beginning of the story, Tednugent and Scratchfever are little more than paper dolls to be played with by the people controlling the plot: posters on the original forum where You Awaken In Razor Hill was first housed. At the end of the story, they are fully-fleshed characters capable of acting on their own and defying the instructions of the posters.
  • Clap Your Hands If You Believe: Ted's engineering skill is directly proportional to how much he insists on thinking of himself as a god-like engineer.
    • Moreover, because the story takes place in a video game that actually has an engineering profession, Ted, who is not a real engineer, is prohibited from making real engineering items. His ability to create is tied directly to how impossible that thing is to create; to the point where he manages to create one very large rifle by combining two much smaller rifles. The only reason why this new rifle wasn't ready to fire right away was because the two smaller ones were themselves broken and incomplete. By the very end, he has created Steve the Impromptu Shredder, a stomping, armor-plated war machine with fully-actuated limbs and weaponry and a whole barrage of readouts and gauges Ted does not even remember building. He built it out of a whole bunch of wholly random items he grabbed as quickly as he possibly could, based on faint memories of what these war machines looked like.
    • We later discover that everyone who has entered this world has proven capable of feats, tried out of sheer desperation (and influenced by the random chorus of the forum), that should not have been possible. For all but Annie and Ted, though, it wasn't enough.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Scratch, who (after some character development) likes to relate stories about the Shrunken Heads he keeps as pets, and to fingerpaint happy pictures on your weapons. This is probably why he remains a lot less panicked over the situation than Ted does.
  • Crazy Survivalist: Annie, who has survived in what is basically hell for not even she knows how long. Her mind has not.
  • Dark World: The entire story except for the ending and epilogue takes place in one of these. Aside from Everything Trying to Kill You, everything is covered in "Abyssal Darkness" that seems to consume the light around it, and limits visibility to exactly the breadth of whatever path or location Ted and Scratchfever are at, and not a yard farther.
  • Deadpan Snarker: The narrator.
  • Distress Call: Mary's Quest.
  • The Dragon: Pyramid Hogger.
  • Drop-In Nemesis: Pyramid Hogger.
  • Eldritch Abomination: Literally all of the native wildlife would be a strong contender for Eldritch status, but it's the Ravening Worms that really take the cake.
  • Eleventh Hour Superpower: Steve. And, for Scratch, his Loyalty level gets so high that it breaks his in-game entity and he bugs into Evade mode.
  • Escape from the Crazy Place: The fanfic mainly revolves around forum posters helping Tednugent and Scratchfever escape the "Broken World of Azeroth".
  • Even the Rats Won't Touch It: Larry does not immediately move to messily devour Ted after being tamed, even though it is at the time a very unhappy Pit of Endless Ravening. Ted later finds out, through Eyes of the Beast, that it's because the Troll Sweat and Oshu'gun Crystal Powder he dumped on himself earlier, now all dry and crusty, make him smell exactly the opposite of appetizing.
  • Everything Trying to Kill You: Starving Amphibious Sharks, Lesser Ravening Worms, Immolating Strawmen...pretty much the only thing not trying to kill Ted is Scratchfever, and Annie towards the end of the story.
  • Expy: Pyramid Hogger, for Pyramid Head of course.
  • Fluffy the Terrible: Larry the Starving Amphibious Shark.
  • Food as Bribe: Scratchfever will do anything for salted fish.
  • Foreshadowing: The world itself reacts badly to any jokes about Mankirk's wife. (Some of the "players" on the forums correctly guessed the significance of this.)
  • Hearing Voices: Every Player Character who winds up in the Dark World. From a meta point of view, this is because You Awaken In Razor Hill was a collaborative forum-based game where the PC was "played" by hundreds of different people.
  • Hell Is That Noise: invoked Scr@pe
    • An interesting variation, because the story is in second person, you the audience is the main character hearing the sounds.
    • Also features cloth rustling sounds, things in the dark, and various other stock Horror movie sound effects. Constantly. Until right at the end. The Narrator actually comments at that point that this is the first time it's ever been completely silent since you woke up in Razor Hill. Meaning the sounds were so constant, you mentally tuned them out to the point where you don't realize they were still there until they are gone.
  • Homage: To Silent Hill, couched in another Homage to World of Warcraft, and the whole thing is a Homage to MS Paint Adventures, itself a homage to text adventures like Zork.
  • Humanoid Abomination: Pyramid Hogger has this kind of a vibe going for him, not to mention the Immolating Strawmen. But in the end, it's Mary's Hate that shows Ted what it is to be a Humanoid Abomination.
  • Idiot Ball: By necessity. Ted was controlled by the communal whims of over a hundred forumgoers, and noticeable percent of the commands given were deliberately moronic, For the Lulz. The manner in which the author handled this must be seen to be truly appreciated.
  • Implacable Man
    • Pyramid Hogger.
    • Played for Laughs with Scratchfever, who becomes an effectively unstoppable feline-shaped cannonball of hellish doom the moment he smells a Salted Fish.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Ted, throughout. He finally gets a drink towards the end of the story and it is awesome.
  • Insurmountable Waist High Fence: "You can't go North to the scuttle shore to find that damn boat, there is a Straw Man blocking your path." Or the slightly more Horrifying, "You cannot haul ass to Sen'Jin, there is a Pyramid Hogger blocking your path."
  • Jerkass Gods: "The narrator is such a dick".
  • Kleptomaniac Hero: "Loot the hell out of it" is one of the more often-repeated commands for Ted. Justified since Ted needs all the help he can get and there's no-one to legitimately buy things from.
  • Kleptomaniac Hero Found Underwear: Early on, Ted comes into possession of some Exciting Undergarments and becomes compelled to wear them on his head. They remain there for basically the entire adventure.
  • Let's Get Dangerous: The moment Ted decides "No more hiding" while fighting the Starving Amphibious Sharks, he suddenly becomes infinitely more badass, while Scratchfever's level of awesome seems directly tied to his loyalty level. Both of these are lampshaded later, when Ted looks back on his journey so far. Annie later imitates Ted's "No more hiding" at the climax, and proceeds to lay the druidic smackdown on Pyramid Hogger.
  • Ludicrous Gibs: Pyramid Hogger disposes of Zalazane in this fashion.
  • MacGyvering: Ted. Holy crap, Ted. He makes things that logically should not physically function, but do because he is convinced he is an amazing engineer. Later, Annie can pull off some of the same stuff with her tailoring, including unravelling metal spoons and weaving them into a Tinfoil Hat.
  • Meat Puppet: Incubators, hollowed out Quillboars (and possibly anything else that might have been in the Barrens) that are filled with Larval Ravening Worms
  • Mind Rape : It was implied in the story that Zalazane raped Mary's soul after she was murdered by Quillboars.
  • Mini-Mecha: Steve.
  • Mission Control Is Off Its Meds: The Mission Description for Mary's Quest starts off fairly normal, then becomes quirky, if supportive, then starts to sound kind of mocking and unhinged. Then it turns out to have been the voice of Mary's Hate all along.
  • Mouth Stitched Shut: The various types of Zalazane Zombie all have their lips sewn shut.
  • Nothing Is Scarier: Long stretches of relative silence and inactivity only serve to heighten the tension, especially after we learn what is actually happening here.
  • Oh Crap!: Too numerous to list. Suffice it is to say, shit goes wrong so often it's a surprise when shit goes right.
  • The Power of Hate: What made the Dark World so dark in the first place.
  • The Power of Love: The better Scratchfever's relationship with Tednugent is, the more awesome Scratch becomes. Reaches its logical conclusion at the climax.
  • The Power of Rock: Ted can effectively invoke Deus Ex Machinae by playing guitar riffs so awesomely that the Lords of the Chord smile upon him.
    • Requires Liquid Courage, or else Ted's Devotion to the Lord of the Chord will be Lame. The consequences of a Lame Devotion are never seen but noted to be severe.
  • Punny Name: "You are an Orc Hunter and your name is Tednugent. You feel this is an exceptionally clever name, but nobody ever seems to get the joke. You have a Cat for a pet, his name is Scratchfever. You feel this is also an exceptionally clever name. Nobody ever gets this joke, either."
    • Each of Ted's other pets (none of whom are ever seen) are all similarly named - he has a Cobra named Stranglehold, a Gorilla named Weekendwarrior and a Devilsaur (tyrannosaurus) named Littlemissdangerous.
    • Also, Annie (full name: Anniemal the Lazerbeast) who is a Druid. (Druids in World of Warcraft can turn into animals.)
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Ted enjoys hugging his cat, is a reasonable dancer, sings very often, knows quite a lot about flowers and is very good with a needle. It's implied his real professions may be tailor or herbalist, and his insistence that he's an engineer is out of embarrassment. He also wears "exciting undergarments" on his head through most of the adventure.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Mary's Hate is using the Dark World to kill everyone who ever laughed at her.
  • Sanity Slippage: Everyone who ends up in the Dark World gradually goes absolutely nuts from Hearing Voices until eventually they are killed by Pyramid Hogger. Annie, though not entirely sane, has managed to remain lucid, if quite unhinged.
  • Shout-Out:
    • One of many in this story is the name of the hunter himself, Tednugent, and his pet cat, Scratchfever (Ted Nugent, Cat Scratch Fever).
    • The Konami Code is directly quoted, or more accurately, drawn in the dirt near the end of the story.
    "Kagemasa Kozuki must be informed of this at once!"
  • Terms of Endangerment: It's a rare thing for a story to make the pet-name "Sport" into something horrifying.
  • This Loser Is You: The Incubators. Appearing near the end of the story, they're the husks of everyone who was in the Barrens when Mary destroyed the world. They are constantly babbling about things commonly discussed in the General chat channel there — memes, insults, asking for the location of Mankirk's wife, and so on. To World of Warcraft players, Barrens General chat, colloquially known as "Barrens chat", was considered one of the most annoying things in the game prior to the Cataclysm expansion splitting the zone in two.
  • Threatening Shark: Starving Amphibious Sharks smell the roasting pig Ted leaves behind and subsequently infest Sen'jin Village. These particular sharks are as large as a great white, with thick, clawed legs in place of pectoral fins, jaws hinged all the way back at their shoulders, always secreting some slimy mucus from their bodies.
  • Tinfoil Hat: Annie wears one that gives her immunity to "CIA Satellite Brainwave Surveillance, Mind Control and Tracking", explaining why she wasn't picked up by Ted's Tracking earlier. She makes him one shortly thereafter so that Ted can switch off Aspect of the Beast safely.
  • Weirdness Censor: At a certain point in the story, part of Ted's mind becomes so terrified it decides to drop out of having to process all the horrific events going on around him and starts playing pretend by imagining things like being at the Mad Hatter's tea party or trying to warn the Horde leadership about an invading army of Red Coat Pyramid Hoggers.
  • "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue: Ted makes a one-person Arena team and is matched against a team of five Paladins one win away from 2600 Arena rating. They laugh at him as a "Huntard" and mock him for naming his pet "Larry", and then the match starts...
  • The Worf Effect: Larry has far higher stats than even Ted's strongest pets, and Ted himself, but manages to do little more than occupy Pyramid Hogger's attention for a few minutes before being brutally killed.