We try to kill SCP-682

Result: It's been three days and we've decided to take Mr. Payne off of life support.

Test: Freeze it in Carbonite.

RESULT: At first it appears to work. However, after about an hour had gone by an explosion occurs releasing SCP-682. It is theorised that SCP-682 created a heatwave so powerful that it caused an explosion due to the vaporization of all materials around him.

TEST: Since at this point it would seem SCP-682 has crossed the Godzilla Threshold (I mean, just look at what we’ve tried just to kill it!), it would seem that summoning even Godzilla himself, the ultimate kaiju wouldn’t be a bad idea at all.

Edited by Caker123 on Jan 11th 2019 at 6:51:57 AM

Result: Curb-Stomp Battle in SCP-682's favor. The city of [REDACTED] was leveled in the battle between the two.

Test: Trap it in the Grid.

RESULT: Apparently, SCP-682 didn’t feel like being trapped and escaped with surprising ease.

Dr. Caker: “Lemme guess, when SCP-682 curb stomped Godzilla himself and a city was destroyed as a result, it was Tokyo? I mean, that’s the only reasonable conclusion considering Godzilla was involved.”

TEST: While SCP-682 may seem invincible, even to the point of not even having a soul, it must have some sort of life essence or something driving it. Else it’d just be a pile of inert matter. So, what I’m proposing is that you identify and remove SCP-682’s life essence.

Edited by Caker123 on Jan 12th 2019 at 10:44:34 AM

Result: It's been left in a vegetative state. So success I guess?

Addendum: Nevermind, it took it one year to regenerate its life essence. Back to square one.

Test: Have Akuma use Shun Goku Satsu on SCP-682.

Result: SCP-682 experiences extreme damage, losing over 90% of its mass in the space of several seconds. However, SCP-682's regenerative abilities rapidly counteract the destruction process, equalising the amount of flesh destroyed with the amount of flesh regenerated. Battle between Akuma and SCP-682 continues for approximately seven (7) minutes, until order is given to abort test due to severe damage to containment cell.

Memo from Dr. Scoria: Impressive. Perhaps, if SCP-682's regeneration is neutralised or weakened, that could kill it for good.

Test: Have Yhwach utilise 'The Almighty' to destroy SCP-682, or cripple its regeneration. If regeneration is crippled, attempt to destroy SCP-682 with the use of Legio Mortis forces, brought into reality via SCP-826 or similar SCP.

Result: Aft first, Yhwach had an advantage, and it even seemed as if SCP-682 would have its regenerative powers crippled. However, SCP-682 adapted so that even if it couldn't attack without being countered, its regenerative powers would grow in speed, so that it can only take mere seconds for SCP-682 to regenerate. As for the Legio Mortis, SCP-682 tore through them like paper.

Test: Trap it in a suspended animation pod, and eject the pod at Halley's Comet.

Edited by TimeLordVictorious on Jan 14th 2019 at 12:28:54 PM

Result: Long story short we have some good news and bad news. The good news is that we didn't lose 682 and now an alien race also wants to kill 682. The bad news is that Halley's comet is now infested by slightly smaller strands of 682 and the alien race thinks that blowing up our planet is the best way to get rid of it.

Test Proposal:We use the tool gun 3.0 on it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBs2uYY3MZg) If nothing else, construction cost will be reduced.

RESULT: For some reason, it had no effect on SCP-682.

TEST: Blast it with the concentrated magic energy cannon, the Jupiter (from anime Fairy Tail).

Result: SCP-682 was literally turned inside out, organs and all. It doesn't look any different than before.

Test: Feed it a bucket's worth of Carolina Death Reapers, the spiciest pepper in the world.

Edited by TimeLordVictorious on Jan 19th 2019 at 10:47:46 AM

Result: SCP-682 asked for more.

Test: Go back in time and kill the writer of SCP-682 before 682 is written into the SCP wiki, erasing it

Result: Epic Fail. Changing the documentation didn’t affect it at all. What did you expect, Sportaflop?

Test: put in in SCP-914..... on Very Fine

I was talking about killing the Real Life creator of SCP-682 before they can write it down

Result: TEST DENIED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE. "Very Fine" is supposed to improve items. We are hell not doing that to SCP-682. For all we know, that's where it started

Test: Have SCP-1616 and SCP-524 devour SCP-682

Edited by RJ-19-CLOVIS-93 on Jan 21st 2019 at 10:13:52 PM

Result:Flesh was consumed without incident until 682 then started glowing a sickly green regenerating at a much faster pace. 524 and 1616 kept eating for four hours while 682 swatted them around until they threw up. Then they all got distracted and ate a hole in the side of the building resulting in containment breach.

Test Proposal: We give to to Nurgle in trade of Isha, if he refuses we lose nothing and if he accepts we either get a dead 682 and some happy space elves or just some happy space elves. (OOC:Nurgle is from wh4k)

Result: Refused.

Test: Send it to R'lyeh as a gift for Cthulhu.

Result: Failure. Same result as test above.

Proposal:We shoot 999 into its containment area permenantly

Result: Denied, don't you remember what happened last time?

Test: try to pacify him using Sopor Slime.

Result: Failure. We now have what bright has dubbed "Lizard [EXPLETIVE]" Which makes the consumer incredibly powerful but constantly in a state of rage that kills through heart attack within 5 minutes of consumption.

Proposal:We seal its soul inside a Prinny then launch it into a Tyranid hide then we send a a battalion of Omega marines to purge the hive then we send old man henderson with all the shit he wants to make sure it stays dead

Result: Faluire, 682 just kills them all.

Test: First we trap 682 in another dimension on another planet, Next, just get Cthullu on it. What's the worst that. ould happen.

Dr. [REDACTED] was never seen again after this

Result: Denied, my suggestion of sending 682 as a gift for Cthulhu was just denied.

Test: Feed it all the oddball flavors of Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans.

Result: Failure. He asked for more

Proposal:We pamper the fuck out of it. Since it seems to adapt or evolve to its surroundings to better survive it being pampered would probably cause it to become fat or something.

Result: Why? Well at least it looks better that it used to be.

Proposal: Use Gilgamesh's Enuma Elish Anti-World Noble Phantasm to straight-up nuke it to Oblivion.

Result: ...What.

Dr. [REDACTED]: HOW THE [EXPLETIVE DELETED] DID HE SURVIVE THAT I SWEAR THAT PIECE OF [EXPLETIVE DELETED]-

Test: Ask Ryougi Shiki to kill 682.

Dr. [REDACTED: -[EXPLETIVE DELETED]- HOW IS THAT GOING TO HELP?!?!?

Result: Looks like Dr. [REDACTED] was right; nothing happened.

Test: Have it fight Metal Gear, Metal Gear REX, Metal Gear RAY, and the Sahelanthropus.

Result: Failure. 682 destroyed all of them within 3 hours in an epic battle sequence. Now Dr.Bright is insisting that we profit from this by uploading these to youtube.

"Seriously guys lets do it! NO wait let's make a movie franchise instead!"-Bright

Proposal:We send ALL the characters from r/donutsteel. Also Bright's plan to upload these to You Tube has been grudgingly approved since we are losing a fuckton of money here guys. Like seriously wtf we needed to come up with a word for a number with 200 zeros after it. Youtube channel managers are to never talk to any commenters simply oragnizer revenue collection.

CURRENT DEBT: 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 million