William lulzblogs Chick Tracts because he hates himself

I don't think that was an insult, I think it was just a fact said in a humorous fashion.

Meanwhile, I have no idea what the lime is trying to say, because 90% of it seems to be illegible.

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.

I think we should have a trope for Christianism Is Exotic In Japan. I mean, a trope other than Christianity is Catholic or Nuns Are Mikos...

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."

@Man Called True: Sorry. That wasn't aimed at you. That was meant in response to S.exe's "who censors porn?" question.

@Medinoc: Christianity Is Exotic, perhaps? Religion Is Exotic? (I smell a YKTTW...)

edited 28th Mar '10 10:36:46 AM by WillyFourEyes

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

I think that's covered under Religion is Magic.

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!

Would anyone be upset if I did one? I wanted to do The Long Trip\\http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0009/0009_01.asp

All righty then.

It starts with Jack Chick introducing us to the main character. A baby, born weighing 7 pounds and 20 inches - or so chick tells us. There's a tail and two paws in the corner. Apparently, there's a kitty in the home.

Sometimes it's a long trip from the cradle to the grave says Chick. Well that's a charming sentiment. "Sometimes, it takes a while for people to die," says Chick. The picture shows the baby looking at the bottle like a crack fiend would look at a pile of baking soda - ultimately disappointed. I think the cat is trying to steal the bottle.

Little John is wobbly at first, but now he's stepping out. The baby can walk now. He seems to be using the table to hold himself up, which horribly shocks the people in the pictures mounted. or maybe they just realized that they were in a Chick Tract.

Time-skip to one year old, where Chick assures us that John has a mind of his own. Before, I assume he had one on loan, I dunno. Only 69 more years to go in John's life.

Time-skip to age 15. He's on the road of life. Everyone is busy going in the same direction. I can't imagine how Chick could believe that is even symbolically true. In the picture, John follows a giant arrow painted on the floor and a nondescript throng walks along with him.

Time-skip to 20 John has all the answers ... just ask him, he has 50 years left. Jack Chick demonstrates how NOT to use an ellipsis. In the picture, John is smiling while the people around him look sad and angry. Among the sad people is a black guy, two women, a bald guy, and a guy with a turban.

Time-skip to 40. John is married and has two kids. Life has turned into a rat-race. His wife looks like she's high out of her mind There's a lady with a diamond on her forehead next to him. She's either supposed to be of Indian descent of Tsunade.

Time-skip to 50. John turns to his wife and goes "Where are we going," to which she replies "You don't know?" Behind John, some man apparently takes an extremely painful shit.

Oh, they're still on the road I guess. Uh, so, The wife is like "Hold it, John. we need some good news" She stops and points to a man with a sign marked Good News. Wow, how serendipitous. The second they need good news, a sign wielding man with an extra road appears.

The sign guy yells at John's wife "Lady, you're on the wrong road, the road you're on leads to destruction!" Wait wait wait. That means that The big ol' road symbolizes worldly life. But Jack said EVERYONE was going that way. I'm confused, what about all the good people. Unless Chick believes that there are very few good people and the sign wielder is supposed to be an Author Avatar.

"There's one way to heaven, and it's the narrow path!" the man continues yelling. "and JESUS is that way" Well, I just have to say, HEY MAN, I bet the lord doesn't appreciate you capitalize his name like he's some kind of acronym. JESUS, what's that "Jew Extraordinaire Saves Universe's Souls? No siree, get your grammar straight mister Chick. [/rant]

Oh, and John looks kinda pissed at the man who is accosting his wife.

Sign-man tells the story of Jesus complete with a picture of the cross framed by lightning.

John asks "Is everyone on this highway doomed? Sign-man replies.

"Absolutely" lookit the bastard's face. He's loving this. And then he explains Jesus's love gift. and John's entire family is all "Yes, I accept the gift of Christ."

A man next to John says "Poor guy, looks like your wife was a bit hasty in her decision." I would have to agree. One conversation with a sign-wielding man leads to a full conversion. That's Jack Chick for you. John agrees with STERN FACE on. Apparently the highway of sin is Srs Bsns.

Wife and kids die or something and go meet Jesus.

John is still with the same people on the road who assure him that he'll have time to convert. "You're only 62,"they say. "You've 8 years yet." Well thank you psychic lady.

6 months later, the road stops abruptly. And there's a waterfall of people tumbling off the road. John, as makes sense, screams "What's happening?" A fellow man, also falling off the road calmly replies, "You Just Died John" You Are Dead.

As John dies he passes THE GREAT MOTHERFUCKING PUMPKIN! and says "Hey, you said I'd live till 70!"

"I lied," replies TGMP. Which, I'd expect of him. "I tricked you, and now you're mine forever." says TGMP. Well, that wasn't much of a trick. He was only 7.5 years off. TGMP cut it pretty close. The devil also laughs like the bully from the Simpsons. John grimaces at the fourth wall.

At the end, Jack Chick tells you to convert. recieve Jesus Today.

Finis.

<(-_-<)(>-_-)> "FUSION HA"

Blammy ordered me to repent, so I'll be doing another one sometime this weekend. :o

Productivity is for people without internet connections. -Count Dorku

Haven, you liar.

You didn't repent.

You're going to hell for your sin.

Ecstasy is Sustained Intensity

So, I have decided to liveblog a Chick Tract in my own special, uneducated, eloquent way.

I picked Why is Mary Crying?.

In the darkness, Mary's heartbrokedness shone through her eyes! The ones that loved her, and yer distraught her, were illuminated by the glow!

But how? How can such misery exist within someone who is revered and worshiped by such a remarkable population on this small planet?

Because she goes unheeded! Those that claim to lover her do not actually hear her words, and do not actually follow her will! They are but blind sheep, following the call of a woman's scent! Of a holy scent!

A hand thrust out from the darkness, offering to relieve Mary of her idolship, and most of all, her misery!

She had worked her life being a model for the people the followed her, hoping to influence their ways with her purity!

In doing so, She had found favor with God, and was offered the chance to bear a child, something she had abstained from for so long!

All without losing her virginity.

This offer was too much for her to pass up, despite the risk of life and limb it presented under Jewish law!

She offered up her lonesomeness for the sake of God's child.

When the child was born, she named the creature Jesus, as was part of her divine contract made with Heaven's messenger!

Mary had admitted she needed a Saviour! One to relinquish the burden of the world from her shoulders! So she put up an offering of two turtledoves, so that sin might take her.

For God hath commanded that "All have sinned, and all come short of the glory of God".

And with that, Mary gave up her innocence, to reek with the debauchery of the masses.

Through the coincidence of divine miracle, on that very same day, Mary was spoken to by God, through a man named Simeon.

He foretold a grave future, now that Mary had stepped down from her throne of the seraphic.

Her newfound sin had caused her to lose God's favor, and as a result, her newborn would eventually be the cause of a rise and fall of many in Israel, doomed to die, along with her heart, at public whim!

Many years from that day, the prophecy pulled it's rapier of fate, and struck poor Jesus down, after he had shed blood and tears to relieve mankind of their sins.

Mary could only watch, and stain the ground with tears as her only son died for her selfishness, for her former want to be free of the gaze of the world.

Part 1 end.

Ecstasy is Sustained Intensity

Oh lordy, anti-Catholicism. This should be good.

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

Part 2

As Mary recovered from her loss, she never expected to suffer such loss again.

As many were saved by her Son, many instead found her to be the puppeteer, to be the incredible mistress behind the teachings and actions of her late son!

If Jesus could perfom feats only capable by a god, then Mary must have been the Mother of God and a greater being entirely!

But the true God is a terrible master, and was angry at Mary, as people returned to worshipping her statues, to put their faith in her instead of Him.

Unknowingly and unwittingly, the people the her son saved cursed her fate and destroyed her standing with God.

And more importantly, she felt yet again the weight of the world on her back.

Without the strength of one equal to God, she was powerless.

She tried to placate the masses, trying to draw their attention off of her, and back to the feats of her now long dead son.

She desperately clung to the memories of the days when she was happy, and lacked her idol status.

But the world interpretted her distressed refutes as humbleness worthy of one without sin, and began to further worship her.

She brought to their attention yet again, her ceremony to relieve her of purity!

But the continue to spread their lies and rumors of her holiness and heavenly connections

She claims that she cannot mediate with God, and that their prayers are misguided!

And then I give up because wall of text.

Ecstasy is Sustained Intensity

Mary is an Idol Singer trying to regain the lost trust of God in this new anime from Stud-*shot*

[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.

Yeah, it just sorta happened.

Funfact: Being a virgin gives you terribly high charisma and a singing voice to boot.

edited 28th Jul '10 11:25:42 PM by Solstace

Ecstasy is Sustained Intensity

Reviving something I did back when I was William Wide Web, it's a Chick tract lulzbloggening!

This time, I'm lulzblogging "The Bully". I'm guessing this is about bullies, especially since you see a bully with a striped shirt beating up a little kid in overalls on the cover. I'm guessing this is about how getting beat up will stop if you're the right kind of Christian.

But the first panel is in a bar, with some ugly man laughing—then again, since this is a Chick tract, "ugly" is the default. The bartender looks rather worried, and the guy he's talking to, who has a beard ringing his face, asks what he's laughing at. Apparently he's laughing because while they're getting drunk, beard-guy's daughter is in church. This somehow causes beard-guy, who also has a bald spot, to get incredibly angry, and that he'll have to beat her within an inch of her life. You know, I've never seen any anti-Christian, no matter how militant, say anything like that. Not even Hitchens does that.

This also gets genus-2-facial-hair-man to get mad at the dude laughing in the first panel, whose name is Andy. Andy's response is that it's his wife's fault, and also he establishes that bearded-and-bald-Chick-villain-caricature is named Hairy Harry. Hairy then threatens to kill Andy's entire family if his daughter becomes a Christian, again, utterly unrealistic behavior. He then leaves, and the bartender asks if he should call the police. Andy says that it won't do any good, probably out of a Chickian conspiracy theory that the police are part of an evil anti-Christian conspiracy.

The next panel is just hilarious. The background turns into a white star or something on a black background, and Hairy is yelling about how he'll destroy her too if she becomes like her mother. To be fair, I'd be disappointed in any child I'd have if she was influencable enough to be convinced of anything other than "Jack Chick is nuts" by reading a Chick tract, which is probably the method by which his daughter is converted.

The next panel has a car and some speech bubbles—there may be some other things, but they're mostly covered by the speech bubbles. Andy's wife is presumably dropping off Hairy's daughter from church, which is apparently either a bizarro world church service or a bizarro world teenager, because she somehow enjoyed it, and the only thing I ever actually remember enjoying in my church services was doodling equations on the five or six sheets of paper they give us to tell us about everything they're doing. Also, she was afraid of praying with the pastor, presumably because of her dad being a Jack Chick villain.

And of course, her dad now appears in front of the car with a stick of some kind, with a speech bubble helpfully telling us that it's her father. Also, the background behind her father is completely white, because he's actually an angel, a radiant being of light. The next two panels consist of Hairy yelling at her and the wife, whose name is Megan and whose face hasn't actually been shown in order to hide the fact that she's not human. You know, Andy said that calling the cops wouldn't do any good, but I'm pretty sure that anyone who repeatedly threatens to kill people like he has would be very easy to prosecute. Especially considering the witnesses.

We then go ahead one week, and see that Hairy is continuing to talk about beating up his dead wife due to the fact that she's a Christian. I'm almost certain that in any sane world he would have been in prison years ago, but then I remember that I'm reading a Jack Chick tract. He then forces her to never read a bible, or pray, or get saved, which doesn't really seem like something a non-Christian would say—most non-Christians don't read the Bible because they don't think it will save you. As her reward for never becoming a Christian, Hairy gives his daughter a beer, which is also probably technically illegal if she's of the age that she'd still listen to her. Also, art-wise, I have to note that Hairy's head seems to have gotten rounder and his beard now looks more goatee-like, probably to beat a Satan connection into our heads, and the daughter looks like her eyes are closed and she's struggling to stay awake.

The next panel is labeled "2 years later", and we see that Ashley has taken well to drinking, something that pleases him because it means he isn't like her mother. You know, I have to wonder how those two got married if he hates her so much. You'd think he would have at least gotten a divorce considering his hatred of religion, or she would have gotten a divorce and a lawsuit due to getting constantly beaten. But then again, this is Chickworld, full of conspiracy theories and stupid. We also learn, in the following panel, that the bartender can't remember a time in which she was sober. In that respect, she is therefore much like ZUN, except that she probably doesn't create hundreds of poorly-drawn flying lolis.

But then, the next thing you know, Hairy starts having pain in his chest, and the background turns black except for a white circle around Hairy's head of the sort I generally only see in Christian paintings, usually around saints and the like. Clearly, this means that Hairy is actually a saint, saving his daughter from being damned by joining a Chickian church. But then, he dies from acute weird sound effect, by which I mean the letters "Yaaah!" and "THUD!". He's now on the ground, and a helpful speech bubble tells us that he's dead.

Except that in the next panel, he's in a hospital, and the doctor managed to revive him. A worried nurse tells the doctor that the patient saw hell, which makes the doctor realize that he's delusional and that we're all fucked, because we're in a Chick tract. Of course, what this will actually do is cause Hairy to suddenly, immediately change his ways and become a good Christian, and by such get a Karma Houdini despite the fact that he repeatedly beat his wife and threatened to kill people. You know, I can't think that someone would change so rapidly. I'd think that a murderous wife-beater before conversion would become a murderous, wife-beating Christian...oh wait, that's probably the type that Jack Chick likes.

The next panel has Hairy asking if his daughter called, which she didn't, and that Hairy is being released. The next panel, which is "That afternoon", has Hairy demanding to see his pastor, who also happens to be the person he beat up in middle school or something. You also have the pastor mention to his wife to be ready to call the cops, which conflicts with the part from previous that says that calling the cops would be of no use, considering that Hairy probably tried to kill the pastor, but the pastor is still alive. Oh wait, there I am expecting continuity from a Chick tract.

Anyways, there's only so much stupid I can deal with at one time, and I'm about halfway through the tract, so wait for Part 2 coming soon!

the future we had hoped for

Every time I think he's gotten as insane as he can possibly get, he tops himself. It's amazing.

Sakamoto demands an explanation for this shit.

Mother. Of. God. That guy would have been funny if he didn't have a mad-on for Holy Church, that damned infidel.

The Southpaw has no brakes!

Heh, I found one of these at work last week. It's one of his spanish ones, "La Ciudad Maldita," and it's hilariously creepy. I should join the fun.

Dammit, how did I not notice that? It's a sign! I shall have to do this one.

edited 26th Nov '10 7:09:53 PM by BlackWolfe

But soft! What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick! And Juliet is out cold.

Heh, post 666.

That aside, if Holy Church DID have a Mossad-like group, well... God help that infidel.

The Southpaw has no brakes!

I used to think they were funny, but now Chick tracts just kind of make me sad. I'm really glad Jack Chick isn't actually the creator of the universe. Or, you know, not this universe. That would be really lame.

Okay, I found the tract I was talking about. It was in my pocket the whole time. If you want to follow along, here you go. If you can't read Spanish, I've got you covered.

Titula: La Ciudad Maldita

Title: Doom Town

Y'know, I like the Spanish title better. The Doomy Dooms of Doom are almost poetic that way.

Pagina Una: We are at an evil gay satanic rally. How do I know? Because the sign says "EL ODIO NO es uno de los valores familiares" and the man at the podium with all the steel phalluses pointed at him is giving a speech quoting statistics about children growing up gay. How do I know it's an evil gay satanic rally? Because it's Jack Chick, and the last thing the speaker says on this page is "NOSOTROS SALVAREMOS A NUESTROS HIJOS".

Incidentally, why is this in quotes? Who is this quoting?

Let's count horrible gay stereotypes, shall we? On the podium, exactly two people are not wearing earrings. Of those two, one is a biker dyke and the other is a creepy old man. So that's 12 on the first SINGLE PANEL page! I think that's a record, even for Jack!

Pagina Dos: Now we meet our hero. And by "our hero," I mean Jack's sanctimonious asshole who pulls exactly what he wants from the Bible and uses it in the worst possible way.

SIGNS: "¡Dios es Amor!" and "¡Celebremos la sodomia!"

Okay, really? "We celebrate sodomy"?

Also SATAN the evil leader of this Gay Wrongs Movement  ^TM

is saying that if not enough money is donated to AIDS research, then he wants every single gay man to donate blood. Because all gay men have AIDS, naturally. Also, he calls it "terrorismo de sangre."

The hero I cannot use that word. I can't. The protagonist declares that this will infect every blood bank in the country with AIDS, which is cold-blooded MURDER  ^*

. Because, you know, they don't screen for that shit or anything. Dumbass. Also, blood is free? Because I can't afford to go to the hospital, asshole.

Pagina Tres: Panel One: His friend's name is Carlos. Of course it is. And of course, his first reaction to this is to say that what these people need is Christ. What these people need is to get that troll away from the damned podium.

His friend warns him not to start preaching because these evil men are so full of hate (especially that one with the "God is Love" sign, what an asshole he is) they'll tear Carlos and the Protagonist to pieces!

SIGNS: "Cuidado, America!" "Abajo los grupos Religiosos de Derecha." and "Vamos Adelante"

Remember: Always forward, never straight.

Panel Two: Of course, Guillermo de Wonka (see wut i did thar?) is going to preach. This is a Chick Tract. "God," he prays silently (or at least thinks), "let me speak with even oneperson to show them you love them." Cue our convert-of-the-tract, who quite politely comes up and says, "Oiga, señor, ¿qué opina de nuestra manifestación?" Don Guillermo de la Wonka thanks god, and we move on.

Pagina Cuatro: Panel One: "You are around four thousand years late. This is a repetition of the history of Sodom and Gomorrah." "WHAT? This is something that needs to be seen with a Bible? If that's true, I don't want to hear it!"

God, Don Guillermo's face. It's so sincere. So... pornstache. The FUCK is with Jack's hispanic characters all having pornstaches?

Panel Two: Before we get to the dialogue, let's just add, oh, four more to the count for that jackass in the foreground: Leather Bar outfit, BDSM collar, earrings, and Village People mustache. 16!

"Look, for three hours I've been filming your rally. At least concede me five minutes."
"Only if I get to distort it as badly as you're going to distort this rally."
"Oh, don't worry, I'll distort it plenty without your help."
"Oh, well, in that case..."

"Fine, but don't try to convert me."
"I'm a devout Pastafarian."

Pagina Cinco: And the butchery begins. From this point on, I'll just nitpick the art and the biblical fuckups (such as Jack's Signature Style of missing the forest for the incredibly flamingly gay trees). For starters, why does Abraham look like he hails from 17th century Europe? And what the fuck is Lot wearing, a POLO?

In panel two, we are reminded that hairy=bad.

Pagina Seis: Because their employees are fighting, Abraham offers Lot his choice of land for grazing. It took repeated brawls for Abraham to figure out that maybe they needed more land. Lot greedily chooses the fertile valleys of the river Jordan because he's greedy. It says so right there. BUT OH NOES! That's where SODOM was!

Wait.

So Abraham is offering land he doesn't own? I'm going to have to reread Genesis, apparently. That won't take forever.

Pagina Siete: Abraham serves God. Lot drinks wine and now dresses and looks like an 18th century Italian.

Pagina Ocho: I bet you thought we were done with the stereotype-o-meter. Note that amidst the idol worshipping and kidnapping going on, the thing that is given prominence is the leather daddy (+1) and the transvestite (+1) kissing lewdly (+1). 19

Pagina Nueve: And again, because HOMOSEXUALITY IS THE ONLY SIN THAT THE PEOPLE OF SODOM COMMITTED, we have another leather daddy (+1) kissing another hairy transvestite (+1) while a third man says of the transvestite, "she's (+1) MY wife! (+1)" Also, swearing, but no Bonus Points for that. 23

Lot looks like he's being played by Ricardo Montalban, who is thinking "What am I doing in this comic?"

In panel two, fat hairy gay pedophile (+4) menaces very small child. 27

Pagina Diez: God and two angels appear before Abraham and tell him Sodom's days are numbered. Abraham bargains with God. This has always been represented in the Bible as a good idea.

Pagina Once: Suddenly, Abraham is played by either Luciano Pavarotti or John Rhys Davies, and when two Angels come to visit Lot, he apparently eavesdrops on them, clearly suspicious of their intentions.

Pagina Doce: Oh boy, here it comes. The genderless, immortal angels, who for some reason are spending the night at Lot's house  ^*

are coveted by the people of Sodom... (By the way, +3 for 30!)

Pagina Trece: He-Man pounds on the door, while a creepy old BDSM dom with earrings demands that Lot send out the two men specifically so that they can be "violated." First of all, I doubt they'd have called it "violating," even as bad as Sodom was supposed to be. More likely the demand was "Hey, Lot! You never share!" Also, I am counting everyone but the long-haired guy on the left who looks like he belongs in a Bible story as a point each, except for the creepy old man (+1) with earrings (+1) and a whip (+1). So that's +6: 36! Please let there be exactly six more.

Lot's still dressed for the wrong century, as is everyone else (except He-Man, he's dressed for the wrong universe), and says that violating men isn't proper. Instead, he offers up his daughters. (I know he says it isn't right, but I think it's funnier to translate that as "proper." It helps explain his actions here. It's Sodom Etiquette 101!)

Pagina Catorce: +4! 40! They want MAN meat! No nubile young women for these men! And they represent the whole city, and its sole vice: Homosexuality=raep.

Pagina Quince: The angels strike the men blind (+4! The guy second from the right looks pretty normal-ish. 44! Overshot by two.) and they look happy to be unable to see the rest of this strip. Lot says they're leaving RIGHT NOW! (If it's gotta be emphasized, says Jack, make it ALL-CAPS, ITALICS AND BOLD FACED AT THE SAME TIME!)

Pagina Diez-y-Seis: Hades and Persephone tell Orpheus that if he looks back, Eurydice will be lost to him. Damn Adaptation Decay. Lot is warned that none of his family may look back under penalty of high blood pressure. Also, Sodom can't be destroyed until Lot leaves. So Lot could have singlehandedly saved the entire city and used their gratitude to convert and actually save them, but didn't. Way to go, Lot.

Pagina Diez-y-Siete: Sodom and Gomorrah are razed. Gomorrah has not featured in this story at all. Abraham watches - he didn't get the warning. We are informed that GOD IS NOT PLAYING AROUND!

Pagina Diez-y-Ocho: An angel looks down upon the Lake of Fire like he's wondering how many sinners he'll hit if he spits, and Moses is played by Clint Eastwood. And obligatory Leviticus verses.

Pagina Diez-y-Nueve: Thank Eris, it's almost over! We are back in the present day - or the early 80s, which is close enough - and our soon-to-be Easy Evangelism convert asks why Don Guillermo is risking making people mad at him. The answer? "Because I'm worried about homosexuals' destinies, and I want them to know that they are waiting for a horrible judgment."

Right. It's because you love the people that you claim God hates that you butcher His word.

Pagina Veinte: Oh, it's that hate the sinner, love the sin thing. Wait. Strike that. Reverse it. God died on the cross (along with a couple of dozen criminals, not shown here).

Pagina Veinte-y-Uno: And BOOM! Easy Evangelism FTW!

FINAL SCORE: Jack Chick made FORTY-FOUR gay jokes. That's as many as four elevens. And That's Terrible.

Edit: Shit, I failed to count some points towards the total and my joke is less funny now.

edited 30th Nov '10 10:24:50 AM by BlackWolfe

But soft! What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick! And Juliet is out cold.

Wait... Careful Now and Down With This Sort Of Thing signs?

"And as long as a sack of shit is not a good thing to be, chivalry will never die."

I hope that "God is love" guy gets sent to hell!!!1111 Seriously though, that was really bad. Has anyone done a review of Flight 144 yet? That one is arguably some of Chick's best work.

I love the discrepancy between the quoted bible verses and the images

If Jesus reads this, I want my pants back...

Your use of metatextual pot holes is shameless. :P

Good idea or bad idea, Jews have always been damn proud of this. (And Abe wasn't exactly smote for it.) You familiar with the story of the Oven of Akhnai?

Nah, they were probably incognito — they didn't tell him who they were, or at least the first few verses of Genesis 19 doesn't mention them doing so. The hospitality's just a Middle East thing.

My use of metatextual pot holes is, indeed, shameless. I don't know what I'd do without them. Actually have to write things, I guess. Ugh.

As far as the bargaining with God thing, yeah, the Old Testament's full of that sort of thing. Old Testament Yahweh was very much a wheeler-dealer kind of guy, provided you were special. The Oven of Akhnai, I am unfamiliar with. I shall have to do some looking up later.

I'm aware the hospitality was a regional thing. I still think it's a funny idea, though.

edited 30th Nov '10 5:17:58 PM by BlackWolfe

But soft! What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick! And Juliet is out cold.

Check the Talmud — Bava Metzia 59b. Won't spoil what the rabbis say for you.

"Lo bashamayim hi."