He'll take the case!
Goofus kills mice with a hatchet.
Gallant rescued a cat stuck in a tree.
edited 7th Jun '18 4:16:29 PM by Some_Person
Word's second most famous attorney with a bird-related name.
Goofus burned down the tree with a flamethrower out of spite just because he hates dogs.
Gallant does not use flamethrowers without his parent's supervision and permission.
Meito Anizawa, Anime Tenchou
Goofus used the flamethrower on his parents.
Gallant always properly credits artists
"Leftover items still have value!"
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus says Tite Kubo's Bleach ripped him off when he got the idea to draw Incarnate.
Gallant never Rage Quits.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Blitzy....
Goofus can't even beat a tutorial before throwing his controller away and cussing up a storm.
Gallant doesn't believe everything he reads online.
Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
Goofus doesn't believe anything that he reads online. If he sees it on the internet then he assumes that it's false no matter what evidence there is otherwise.
Gallant is nice to his pets.
The Video Guy
The ASPCA won't even allow Goofus to have pets, they all die "mysteriously".
Gallant always checks his forum posts to make sure no one beat him to a comment, then changes his comment if necessary.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus copies and pastes the same comment over and over, even on completely different forums where it makes no sense.
Gallant works to get rogue nations to dismantle their nuclear weapons programs.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Goofus has decided to solve the problem by blowing up any nuclear weapons and powerplants he finds by force.
Gallant always returns his library books on time.
edited 8th Jun '18 8:07:42 AM by dutchguy1986
Braids From S286 Not Included
Goofus now has to pay 1,000,000,000 Zimbabwean dollars for that 50-year-checked-out book.
Gallant rocks his baby gently to sleep.
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"
Goofus reasons that if gentle rocking is needed to put a baby to sleep, putting himself to sleep requires going to bed inside a cement mixer.
Gallant is grateful to Highlights for Children for giving him life.
The Video Guy
Goofus curses the magazine for making him such a... Goofus.
Gallant always uses the proper eating utensils.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Braids From S286 Not Included
Goofus has Jabba Table Manners that make Jabba himself cringe.
Gallant always asks for critique.
"Rarity, are you okay? We gotta get you and your friends outta here soon!"
He'll take the case!
Goofus responds to any criticisms of him with violent fits of rage.
Gallant uses his wealth to help people in need.
edited 8th Jun '18 11:46:46 AM by Some_Person
Word's second most famous attorney with a bird-related name.
Goofus uses his poverty as an excuse to go on massive destructive rampages.
Gallant is Nice to the Waiter.
The Video Guy
Beavis trips the waiter, and steals his tips.
Butthead says nasty things behind people's backs.
![[down]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_down.png "[down]"){kind=icon}
It happens.
edited 8th Jun '18 10:18:01 PM by atimnie
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.
Blitzy....
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Wrong thread, buddy.
Goofus regularly trips the water while he's carrying something heavy.
Gallant has good taste in music.
Just made a server on discord.Come join me.
I have seen the amateur, and it is me.
Goofus only listens to metal machine music, and not just the Lou Reed album.
Gallant seeks a path to true enlightenment.
I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!
Goofus discovered a type of antienlightenment that turned him into an Omnicidal Maniac Eldritch Abomination.
Gallant fought an army of evil ninjas to a standstill and then talked them into a Heel–Face Turn.
Well, it’s a badger, that’s for sure
Goofus manipulated two ninja factions into a war, and killed them in a tactical nuke strike, just for the hell of it.
Gallant owns an ant farm, and takes good care of his ants.
Huzzah
Light and Hope
Goofus nukes an ant hill for his own amusement.
Gallant likes to watch My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic.
I swear, if TNP says that Goofus plans to kill Lauren Faust, I'll sic an incredibly pissed off Craig McCracken on them. Oh, and also the many members of the brony fandom, all of them also pissed off.
edited 8th Jun '18 8:45:06 PM by dave_the_assassin
Hope: "Let's go. We'll be together." Lightning: "I only know... that soon, we'll be together."
Goofus creates the Hate Fic series My Small Foal: Friendship Is Tragic, which is such an affront to all that is good and decent about anything (let alone the MLP franchise and fandom) that even the most extreme Shock Sites and Troll communities refuse to host or even discuss it.
Gallant saves his universe from external Eldritch Abominations even God is powerless against.
Goofus summoned the Eldritch Abominations in the first place, because he bet five dollars he could do it.
Gallant makes sure his yard is tidy and free of weeds.
Dwar of Helium
You could throw a corpse into Goofus' yard, and nobody would ever find it.
Gallant regularly cleans his car, both inside and out.
Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. - John Cleese
Goofus only listens to noise music... for the lyrics.
Gallant uses glue traps so he can release mice back into the wild.
Who are the ones that we kept in charge? Killers, thieves, and lawyers. God's away, god's away, god's away on business... business.