Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted, but they are not just some normal tortilla chips, they are actually aliens disguised as tortilla chips and are now inside of your body. They are slowly passing through your circulatory system to your brain, where they will put eggs that will devour you from inside out after they hatch. Hope you have fun.

---

I wish to have the power of photosynthesis.

Starting my new year meta of having a gallery with all One Piece characters.

Granted, you're now a vegetable. As in, you're in a vegetative state.

---

I wish I was rich.

I survived a suicidal trip through apocalyptic America and all I got was this lousy forum signature

Granted, your name is changed to that.

I wish for a daim bar.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted. You find out it's poisoned when you try to eat it.

I wish the Internet was a nicer place.

Granted. The entire content of the Internet is transformed into a twin called Nicer Place. Also, caps lock is rarely used.

I wish for no more ZCEs

granted. now we get -1 (negative one) context examples

i wish for a cat named "Lapidot"

Granted, the cat's name on the paperwork is "Lapidot" but the cat only responds to Chargoggagoggmanchauggauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.

I wish I had a Goth Cat Girl girlfriend.....

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48

Granted, your Cat Girl girlfriend lives about as long as the average domesticated housecat. That is to say, around 15 years. Which is also to say, you are definitely going to outlive your girlfriend.

I wish for £200.

Edited by edchump4 on Nov 11th 2019 at 1:19:11 AM

I survived a suicidal trip through apocalyptic America and all I got was this lousy forum signature

Here, have 2 grand. But the IRS called... so good luck with that.

I wish i wasn't stressed all the time

PIZZA HUT FAMILY... TRANSCENDS SPIRITUAL REALITY

Granted. You're constantly mellow at the expense of all other emotions.

I wish people didn't need to use ladders.

It's been 3000 years…

Granted. They use lube-covered ramps instead.

I wish for no one to use lube-covered ramps.

GRANTED! now theres no way people can get up. better get rocket jumping!

i wish life was better.
atleast others are happy.

Edited by Awe921 on Nov 12th 2019 at 11:21:17 AM

Granted. It gets better, but you died before you could enjoy yours to the fullest.

I wish politics weren't so damned confrontational all the time.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted, the world starts to argue over The Dress. Wars are started, crusades, a jihad.

But no one is arguing about politics

I wish my co-workers would stop heating fish in the breakroom microwave...

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48

Granted. They start microwaving onions and cabbages instead

I wish for a tent

The thing that was gonna be powerful, then not, then powerful again

Granted. It spawns on top of Everest. Good luck taking it back.

I wish I didn't need to pay for my upcoming surgery.

Timers to measure time, thermometers to measure thermomets, mometers to measure mom, and measuring containers to measure measurements.

Granted. Since you didn't pay for your surgery, the hospital tells you to "kick rocks".

I wish the Academy Awards committee paid attention to Oscar-worthy films throughout all of the year, and not just the stuff that plays in the fall and winter.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted, they give away to really bad films from around the year.

I wish I had a great memory.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted, you can vividly remember every unpleasant part of your life and no amount of Brain Bleach can help you.

I wish my feet were one shoe size smaller.

Granted. Now you'll have trouble walking for the rest of your life cause your feet were changed via a botched surgery.

I wish to be a mod.

Edited by LordQuetzal88 on Nov 12th 2019 at 4:48:01 AM

Merry Chriztmaz ya filthy animals!

Granted. Everyone confuses you for a New-Age Retro Hippie and asks you why you don't have any pot.

I wish the new Sonic the Hedgehog movie used Sonic's character design from Sonic Boom.

Edited by WillyFourEyes on Nov 12th 2019 at 7:07:49 AM

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted, everyone hates him using that design.

I wish to go to sleep.

Mankind is unloveable. No more kindness!

Granted, you're sent into a coma and never wake up.

I wish Touya would hurry up and be revealed as a villain already.

Well, that’d be jus’ a waste. Why would ya want to deprive the world of such anomaly as yourself?

Done, but now there is a Broken Base and the fandom won't shut up about it.

I wish that all tropers could meet at a convention at least one a year.

All night at the computer, cuz people ain't that great. I keep to myself so I won't be on The First 48

Granted. This means every troper, irregardless if they want to or not or if they want people to know they're tropers/what they look like or if they work in a job that requires that they are doing their job.

I wish for people to stop being bootlickers.