Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. You are teleported to skyrim.

I wish for a better computer.

Oh, it's better alright. Better at BEING SHIT!

I wish for this wish to be corrupted and for it to not be corrupted but also corrupt this but also- (honhonhon)

Granted, the Genie sticks you in Schrodinger's box for making that paradox.

I wish everyone cared more about facts.

Granted. "Alternative facts" are facts so long as you believe they're right, right? Right?

I wish I was "that guy". You know the one.

Granted. You become an 100000000000000000000000000% terrible dude.

I wish to not suffer suffer, in my healthy health!

Granted. The nerves that control pain are removed from your body.

Well, I want to control Popstar!

Granted. You now control every aspect of Justin Bieber's life. Also, he's 55 and washed up. Good luck.

I wish these damned mosquitos would leave me alone.

Granted, they go annoy all of your friends instead. Also the genie tells them it was you who inflicted them with mosquitoes.

I wish that I wished for a fish.

Edited by TheBlueHour on Oct 11th 2018 at 5:10:00 AM

Granted. You wished for a fish and you got Leviathan. Either the Calamity one or the mythological one - either one is terrible of your health.

I wish to not break the universe.

Granted. Someone else will do it for you!

I wish I had more money in my checking account.

Granted, the genie makes your checking account into a giant monster that runs around the world absorbing the money from all other checking accounts causing the world's economy to collapse. Finally, it turns you to money and absorbs you for all eternity.

I wish that every planet in the universe had life on it.

Lifeforms spontaneously manifest on every planet, and then die painful horrible deaths due to the inhospitable conditions.

I wish I could complete any task I set my mind too.

Granted, but you do the job so bad that you end up getting nothing out of it except maybe a termination and/or death.

I wish to have AIDS. (let's see you corrupt THIS!)

Granted. Defying all medical and scientific logic, you and everyone you know gets infected thanks to a single careless doctor who forgot to dispose of their needles properly. You die from complications with pneumonia, while the other infected die due to complications from other diseases.

I wish I could decipher crtptograms without any clues.

Granted. However, considering your spelling of "cryptograms", you still have problems deciphering it, and the amount of clues are not to blame this time.

I wish my hair didn't shed so much.

Granted, you're now bald.

I wish for super charisma.

Granted. You're so charismatic that everyone in the world actually listens to you when you jokingly tell them to build a planet-destroying superweapon.

I wish that evil people didn't exist.

Evil is an abstract concept; there were never any evil people, just selfish and malicious people. Unfortunately, you said "didn't". Now it's possible for a human to be born a Complete Monster and bring about suffering on scales never seen in the history of humanity.

I wish my hair was thicker and past my shoulders.

Granted, but it's hard to hide because all of the extra hair went into your armpits, and it looks like you're smuggling Cousin Itt.

I wish hypnotism worked like it does on TV. And not on me.

Granted, but you don't know how to do it.

I wish for a sequel to Rise of Nations.

Granted, its a poorly made "live service" game made by Uwe Boll, EA, and Konami.

I wish I had Saiyan biology in real life.

Edited by vjoi on Oct 14th 2018 at 8:10:37 AM

Granted, you can't afford the food and starve to death.

I wish Heavy won Meat your Match instead of Pyro.

Granted, somehow this makes the Pyro so unpopular that s/he is removed form the game entirely.

I wish that modern art didn't suck so much.

Granted. All other art forms are banished, making Modern Art look average by lack of comparison.

I wish for the ability to summon any LEGO piece I want.

Granted, you can only summon them under your feet (inside your shoes if you're wearing them)

I wish Lincoln was never assassinated.