The Probability of Spontaneous Combustion, and Other Everyday Errands (A Text Adventure)

> Museum. Let's learn about the history of your town!

>convention time

> Go to the musuem with 9k1

Edited by AutisticAlivia on Sep 21st 2019 at 4:52:30 AM

> Remind yourself that 6k1's only making a cameo appearance here

> Attempt to impersonate a statue inside the museum

>Get food

>get to the airport and move the hell away to manila

You would, but you'd rather not deal with constant traffic jams whenever you have to get somewhere, ~98 degree heat every single day, random rainstorms that last for literal months on end, and hey, that's not even beginning to mention the economy. shot for Biting-the-Hand Humour

>Museum. Let's learn about the history of your town!
>Go to the museum with 9k1
>Remind yourself that 6k1's only making a cameo appearance here

6k1? Cameos? You have no idea what your mental suggestions are talking about, but it's decided, you'll head to the museum.

Alright. You'll deal with going to the convention after this, and you don't really feel like getting food, because it's only been an hour since you last ate.

>Attempt to impersonate a statue inside the museum

Once you've arrived and gotten a pass inside the museum, you check out some of the sculptures they've got on display.

There's a statue of your town's founder in one of the exhibits. You try to imitate its pose, getting on one knee and looking out to the right.
No one's actually taking pictures of you or anything, so you do look a little silly, but who's to judge? Not after long, a couple of teenagers stop by to chuckle at you and put the ordeal on video.

They hang around you as you go around impersonating the exhibits, snapping your poses the whole time. After a while, one of them comes up to you and says—"Hey, you wanna see something cool?"

The kids then elaborate a little more; they're apparently of internet fame, and are offering you a taste of it, if you'll help them out recording a series of pranks around the museum.

> Ignore them. Don't want the guards yeeting you out, would you?

> Go to the African art side of the muesuem and start taking pictures of yourselves in the masks.

Edited by KeironCioran on Sep 21st 2019 at 8:46:03 AM

>No don't do that.

>Do take them up on their offer though.

> Go to the Filipino side of the muesuem and learn about their colonization by the Spainards

> Imagine the exhibits coming to life.

>Go to the easter island exhibit and poke fun at the moai.

>Please don't mock the indigenous culture of any country or continent.

>Make fun of the African masks, in front of black people.

>Moonwalk away before it's too late.

> Obey Afterwards.

>Die, for making fun of cultures.

> Kill playing with the help of the black people

Edited by KeironCioran on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:38:36 AM

> Kill bigots, with the help of said black people

>Go to the African art side of the muesuem and start taking pictures of yourselves in the masks.
>Make fun of the African masks, in front of black people.
>No don't do that.
>Go to the easter island exhibit and poke fun at the moai.
>Please don't mock the indigenous culture of any country or continent.

For a moment you wonder how many races it's possible to offend in one breath, and if you could possibly try to break the record today, but your more logical side quickly shakes you out of those thoughts.

>Die, for making fun of cultures.
> Kill playing with the help of the black people
> Kill bigots, with the help of said black people

You don't think you want to end the day by going home in a police cruiser, bigots or not.

>Do take them up on their offer though.
>Go to the Filipino side of the muesuem and learn about their colonization by the Spainards

So you end up being able to pull pranks without getting dissected by the nearest black person. Good on you.
You and the group of teenagers head over to the Filipino side of the museum to look for potential victims.

Soon enough, you discover a man sleeping on a bench in front of a miniature, glass-encased Filipino town.
It looks pretty detailed. Tiny figures are posed walking down the streets, and there are even little horse-drawn carts here and there. The text below the model reads: "Life During The Spainard Occupation".

Spainard Occupation? If anything, you'd call the grammar spainful.

While the kids pull out an airhorn and start sneaking up on the asleep guy, you hold up a phone to get the prank on camera.
He wakes up and nearly hits his head on the ceiling. The process then continues around the museum for a little while.

You hope any guards don't catch up to you.

>Imagine the exhibits coming to life.

Eventually, you start getting bored of your temporary occupation as a cameraman, and your mind drifts off somewhere else.

There's an archaeology exhibit nearby where you're currently standing.

Maybe that might be more entertaining? You imagine the skeleton suddenly opening its jaws, jumping off the stand, and running you down the halls.

...except it wasn't really just your imagination.

The teenagers turn around in the middle of one of their practical jokes to see a massive dinosaur—comprised of nothing but bones and air—rushing towards them. "What the hell is that?!"

They drop their phones and dip. You follow closely behind.

>Moonwalk away before it's too late.

You and the kids slam through doorway after doorway as the skeleton chases after you, not even stopping for a second to think.

...Which does mean that nobody really notices you're moonwalking really fast instead of running, but even if they did, you don't think they'd exactly care right now.

You divert the dinosaur's attention for a few seconds—just long enough for everyone to sprint down a hall and find themselves in a room filled with African masks. (How...ironic?)

The teenagers scramble around in panic, but there's no obvious place to hide, and that abomination could break in at any second.

What's your plan?

> hope one of the masks make you invincible when you wear them

>Find a fire exit.

> Find a spear replica and throw it at the dino.

>Fake your death and get a new identity