Hunger Games Simulation: Beyond the Possibilities

Risen King Chrom◊. He/him, safe. Source: Fire Emblem Heroes

Lyon◊. He/him, lime as he seems to be a young adult around the Renais twins' age. Source: Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones

Edited by Psychedelicate on May 21st 2023 at 10:06:53 PM

• Andy◊ (Male, Yellow)

• Nell◊ (Female, Safe)

Finally getting around to nominating! I am so sorry, I was meant to do it yesterday but family problems^note partly my fault, haha. got in the way. Well, without further ado...

• Tom Scott◊[he/him/his], from YouTube
• Stuart Ashen◊ [he/him/his], from YouTube

Nomination period has closed

We have 86 tributes this season.

Event(1):

• (Player1) writ(es/es/es/es/e1) a(n) (Player2)&(Player3) friendfic. The real (Player2) se(es/es/es/es/e2) it and giv(es/es/es/es/e2) (Player1) [typeC2] approval.(No need to blacklist, cause it's just friendship)

Edited by CosmosAndChaos on May 22nd 2023 at 10:31:56 AM

Changed Lyon's flag following a discussion on Discord, and added the sources of my tributes while I'm at it.

Agh, no! Missed nomination again.

• (Player1) (is/is/is/is/are1) a lil' skeeved over an asteroid being measured with "half-giraffes", questioning which half of a giraffe do they mean with it.◊
• (Player1) tr(ies/ies/ies/ies/y1) to go back into the Launch Room, only to notice the entrances blocked by a weird, viscous, bouncy substance that repels entry. (Bloodbath-only)
• (Player1) and (Player2) notice one of their living room chairs glitching out of reality, and get into a heated argument over what to do with it before, anticlimactically, the chair vanishes.
• (Player1) accidentally threw salt at a wall and end(s/s/s/s/1) up tearing down the fabric of space and time on it, revealing another dimension behind the wall.
• (Player1) throw(s/s/s/s/1) a steel chair at (Player2) across the counter...but the latter parr(ies/ies/ies/ies/y2) it!

Edited by SomeLibre on May 22nd 2023 at 3:18:23 PM

Event dump!

Late, but event suggestions are now closed.

~Cosmos And Chaos , in your event, I think "a (Player2)/(Player3) friendfic" should be "a(n) (Player2)&(Player3) friendfic", both to account for tribute names starting with vowels, and also because "/" is usually used for romantic pairings while "&" is usually used for platonic pairings. IK the latter is rarely used in fanfic tags, but thoughts?

Seems like a good idea. Fixed.

And here's the broken event dump:

Edited by TroperNo9001 on May 23rd 2023 at 3:28:54 AM

Sorry for the double post, but Jake has screened and sent the Clean Save to Kafka!

We fade in on the familiar sight of the HGS commentary booth. Two swivel chairs have been set up, but right now, only one is occupied.

The man in the left chair looks up as the camera ping!s to life. He is a dark-skinned human, approaching middle age but with a weathered face that gives him the look of an experienced elder, complete with salt-and-pepper beard. His expression is calm and stoic; the lack of smile or frown lines on his face suggests it rarely isn't. He wears a black suit with dark blue highlights, immaculately tailored and spotlessly clean, with a golden Mockingjay lapel pin.

"Ah, so we're live on schedule. Excellent."

The man reflexively straightens his Mockingjay pin.

"Welcome, one and all, to the two hundred and seventy-ninth season of the rebooted Hunger Games Simulation. I am Gamemaker Wheaton Shaffer, and I will be one of your hosts for today."

As he says this, Gamemaker Shaffer glances back at the door into the commentary booth for a few seconds. It does not open, and he audibly sighs.

"My co-host is running behind schedule, I'm afraid. Hopefully they won't leave us waiting too long. In the meantime, I hope you don't mind if I take this opportunity to monologue."

He clears his throat.

"I have been in this line of work a very long time. Almost since the foundation of the Hunger Games Simulation. I have gotten used in that time to my work going unappreciated. After all, the mark of good Gamemaking is that the audience is never consciously reminded that we exist. But I am speaking before a wide audience now, so I'd like to take some time to remind you just how important my job is."

"I like to think the Hunger Games Simulation's popularity rests on its believability. I do not mean in the sense that it is realistic, as a Panemite like myself would understand it. We have all seen how ludicrous these Games get. What I mean is that we have created a perfect substitute for the true Hunger Games - something that can replicate the queasy thrills that drew people to watch these displays in their droves, all while discarding the tyrannical baggage of the original. It is easy to assume, out there in your chairs, that organising this is an easy task, just drop in the Tributes and let them run riot, no other actions necessary. Not so. The duties of the Gamemakers are many and vital. Organising with the Nominators to ensure an acceptable and entertaining batch of Tributes is entered. Preparing the Simulator to ensure a lack of immersion-breaking glitches. Guiding the final simulation so that all events contained within do not descend into territory even the Hunger Games would be unwilling to touch. Our role is incalculably important, and I'm honoured to be given the opportunity to enlighten you, over the course of this doubtlessly wonderful season, of the role I played in-"

The Gamemaker's rambling abruptly stops as he hears the door creak open. In gallumphs a creature who couldn't look more different to Wheaton Shaffer if they tried - a gangly, raggedy anthropomorphic red fox, wearing faded jeans and a creased black hoodie with a large red X symbol emblazoned on the front, struggling under the weight of a loudly clinking gym bag.

"Ah! Please welcome my co-host for today, Nominator Kafka. Your timing is... not terrible."

"'Thanks, I guess," Kafka murmurs. After taking a few seconds to delicately set down the hefty bag, they slump as un-delicately as possible into their swivel chair and start idly spinning in it.

"...am I allowed to ask what's in the bag?"

"Oh, this?" Kafka, with a grunt of effort, hoists the bag onto the host's desk in view of the cameras, then unzips it to reveal...

"Alcohol."

"I mean, yeah. You telling me we're supposed to do this wacko shite sober? Please. I got-" There is much clinking as they rifle through the bottles. "-Scotch whisky, Irish whiskey, whiskey liqueur, lager if you're basic, wine if you're a ponce..."

"I would prefer to remain sober on duty, thank you very much." A hint of dryness creeps into Gamemaker Shaffer's voice.

"Really? Well, suit yourself. More for me." Kafka immediately sets about unscrewing the cap of a bottle of rust-coloured liqueur. Gamemaker Shaffer sighs.

"There are, unfortunately, no rules against drinking and hosting, so I shall have to let my co-host's unprofessionalism slide." "oi" "Anyway, it's about time the season began proper. As they said back in the day... may the odds be ever in your favour."

Take a good look at this cast before all but one of them perishes.◊

BATTLE MUSIC

"...Kafka?"

"Aye?"

"Did you, by chance, select the music for this season yourself?"

"Yep. What about it?"

"...nothing."

THE BLOODBATH◊

• "Well, well! Immediately we have a casualty!" "The man behind the slaughter, more like the man slaughtered from behind lmao"
  • Kafka's mirth quickly fades as they start measuring liqueur into a shot glass. "Okay, immediate death, that's one..." -ulp- "Host telling a bad joke, that's two..." -ulp- "Wait - and that's my funny meme purple man song wasted right away, too! Dammit!"
• "Vaporeon learns Water Gun, correct? I suppose a non-water gun is the next logical... Kafka? What's so funny?
  • -snrk- "H... hey guys... did you know-"
  • TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.
  • When we cut back to the commentary booth, a duo of Peacekeepers can be seen leaving through the back door. Kafka is sat there with duct tape over their mouth, looking vaguely shell-shocked. Next to them, Gamemaker Shaffer has the strained expression of one trying very hard to keep their composure. "...apologies. Let us move on."
• "Interesting. These viruses might be a candidate for our smallest ever contestant... and unfortunately, their equally diminutive weapons prove useless against a human."
• Kafka whines in pain as they tear the tape off their mouth. "...cat launcher? A CAT - that's some kinda fancy rocket, right?" "No. It is a literal cat launcher. It launches live felines at people." "...and you wonder why I brought booze." -glug glug glug- -ulp-
• "We're living in, like, the 23rd century, aye? This car must be a real antique to you." "Indeed. There's a quaintness to it I cannot help but appreciate. Pity it appears to be having engine trouble as it flees the carnage."
• "And speaking of those impeded as they attempt to flee..." "I thought this was a death game, not slapstick comedy!" "I assure you, it can be both."
• "Tempting fate, that's a shot..." -ulp- "Please don't knock yourself out before we've finished the Bloodbath." "I'll be fine. I'm Scottish, my alcohol tolerance was maxed out from birth."
• "Booooo! You're the Gigachad! You're the fuckin' embodiment of badassery! The fuck are you doing losing to a literal goddamned muppet like this? Worfing, take a shot..." -ulp-" "Kafka, please. Don't abuse your liver this way."
• "...at least Livesey's not getting humiliated in battle. He's humiliating himself instead." "You are biased with regards to not wanting these two to end up embarrassed, are you not?" "Well, yeah. Fuck'm I supposed to do, root against my own Tributes?"
• "Be careful, Katniss. I hear this "High Evolutionary" takes... poorly... to others demonstrating they know more than him."
• "Look, mate. I know you're a mountain of muscle 'n' all, but Darkseid's a Capital G God. How the fuck did you think this was gonna go?" "From what I have been told, thinking is not Abigail's strong suit. Or, ah... was not."
• "I'm remembering this. If Steve drops dead outta nowhere, that's a shot for tempting fate."
• "Death by eating suspicious food like an idiot. That's a shot." -ulp- Gamemaker Shaffer opens his mouth, visibly realises commenting on his co-host's drinking is pointless, and shuts it again.
• "Alright, new drinking game rule. If Ant-Man kills Thanos by crawling up his arse, I down a whole bottle. Glass and all." "I have no idea what you are referencing, and something tells me I'm better off not knowing."
• "Triple kill, right out the gate! Nice!" "Our information on this "Void Grim" is minimal, but he certainly seems eager to make a first impression. That is to say, eager to reduce others to impressions in the soil."
• "And off goes Lyon, lugging one of the largest guns I have ever seen with him." "Mini gun, for maximum pleasure! those were great fuckin games man."
• "Manjimutt... er... he gives Morgan a lethal case of mange? I guess?"
• "Unbelievable! We commission only the finest carpenters and stonemasons to craft our podiums! How have TWO tributes been inconvenienced by shoddy craftsmanship?" "Sue 'em." "Absolutely not. Petty spite is beneath me." "Sure ain't beneath me. Sue their arses."
• "A musical 'bout dining in Hell... Hell's Kitchen: The Musical?"
• "Oi! Nell! Don't lose your head! heheh" "Were you not taking a shot every time one of us told a bad joke?" "...I hate you. Especially 'cuz you're right." -glug glug glug- -ulp-
• "Wait - hold on! Those aren't Lemmings! Where's the green hair?" "They're certainly artistically talented, regardless of species."
• "Death by bad advice..." -glug glug glug- -ulp- "...oh. I'm feelin' that kick now. Should've gone for something less potent."
• ...mermaid? Burrowing?" "One could argue that tunnelling into the earth amounts to swimming in dirt." "...mate, you sound more drunk than me right now."
• "I summon Magical Something in Attack Position! Seriously? Magical Something? That's the name you went with?"
• "Our lawyers would like to remind you that any resemblance this herring bears to a herring is pure coincidence."
• "Say, Nuka-Cola - does that work as a hangover cure? Asking for a friend."
• "...Fortnite." Kafka leans back in their chair and stares blankly into space for about ten seconds. "...I'm getting too tipsy to make Fortnite jokes. Winner winner, turkey dinner, something like that."
• "Amidst the blinding glow Sara's spell has created, it is easy to miss Amory failing to follow adequate safety procedures while handling explosives. May he rest in peace, and in pieces."
• "Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to die we go..." "Calling that quite early, don't you think? "I mean, 92% chance I'm right."
• "You sure ze can see anything through those stupid question mark glasses?" "Those aren't glasses." "Point still stands."
• We interrupt this broadcast to remind you that the Hunger Games Simulation does not endorse gambling. We expect you to be responsible with your money in your final hours with it before you die a gory death. And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.
• "...huh?" "Your guess is as good as mine. Still, I suppose a confusing death is in line with March Hare's character."
• "Well then! Ambushes from within the Cornucopia are proving to be a fruitful tactic." "That fight took like three seconds. Ultimate Soldier my arse."
• "Taking useful advice... that's-" "Let me guess, a shot?" "Actually, no. Doing the sensible thing is so rare 'round here."
• "Now, this is a shot. 'Scuse me, got my own bottle yelling "Drink Me" riiiiight here..." -glug glug glug- -ulp-
• "Oh my God - it's him! It's my favourite Disney villain, Brian Blessed With A Gun!" "One cannot accuse him of not having backbone." "..." -glug glug glug- -ulp-
• "...fuck you, that song's stuck in my head now. Maybe if I drink enough, it'll drive it out..."
• "And for our final Bloodbath event, we have Andy deciding an enormous wrench is insufficient and adding all sorts of antique Panemian weaponry to his arsenal. Shall he make good use of it? We shall see."
• And now, the Hunger Games Simulation presents THE COMPLETE LIST OF FILTHY WORTHLESS COWARDS WHO RAN LIKE THE PATHETIC STAINS THEY ARE: Ruby Chocolate Bar, Thanos, Miss Piggy, BeastMan.exe, Queen Gibdo, FlameMan.exe, a girl, Grimlock, Cathode Ray Dude, Mermaid Yae Miko, Tom Scott.

DAY ONE◊

• Kafka makes this gesture.◊ "He's right, you know."
• "The soul of Craig Rasmussen wanders the Arena in search of his missing spine. A tragic fate, even if he was a terrible man."
• "Look up Gagagigo's backstory sometime. He's been through worse. MUCH worse."
• "Hmph. Typical Broadway diva, always has to hog the spotlight. Let us watch Thanos dicking around on Twitter, dammit!"
• "The High Evolutionary hits upon a new idea for an experiment - could a chocolate bar survive the ravages of prehistory? The answer, as it turns out, is "no". Ah, well, I'm sure he's not disappointed about getting a kill to his name."
• "Ayy! First cola, now skateboarding! This guy's gonna return to tenth century Ireland with some interesting stories to tell..."
• Kafka pauses, their face contorted in confusion as they struggle to figure out whether succumbing stupidly to your own poison is "dying unceremoniously" or not. Eventually, they shrug, pour half a shot, and down it.
• "Are you sure a being such as Void Grim is not plenty capable of true magic?" "Better question, why's an eight-year-old hanging 'round something that looks like it got kicked out of Hell for loitering? Show some sense, kid!"
• "A creature made of weebery and dirt? Oh, you mean a Genshin Impact player?" "Kafka." "I will not apologise for telling the truth."
• "How disappointing." "Disappointing? Naaah. This man eats expired food for a living. Clean drinking water may as well be the bloody nectar of the gods."
• "Oh, COME ON! That's, like, the most un-Chad shit you could pull! One more display like this and I'm officially revoking your Chad license!" "...Clayton is there as well, but I suppose this is far more in line with his usual behaviour."
• Gamemaker Shaffer purses his lips hard, reluctant to speak ill of one of his people's greatest heroes. Kafka is similarly silent, giving Peeta a sympathetic look.
• "Wait, hold on. Doesn't it go "but the value of those shells will fall"?" "...no?"
• "...that's literally the world you've spent your life trying to make! The Hell are you - okay, alignment shift out of nowhere, take a shot..." -glug glug glug- -ulp-
  • Gamemaker Shaffer sighs and rings up someone on his communicator. "Yes, hello? Medical staff? Out of curiosity, do you have anyone available who specialises in treating alcohol poisoning?..."
• "Two alignment shifts in a row! That's two shots!" "It's not, actually."
  • "Wait, what?" "Lyon is one of the primary antagonists of his source material. All he is being is more overt about it." "...you're just saying this to make me put down the glass. That's no high fantasy bad guy! Look at 'im!" But put down the glass Kafka does.
• "...I'd be careful, Nominator Zanreo. This herring is apparently capable of reading your mind." "Me, Grimlock - DEAD!" -tipsy chuckle-
• "Internalised robophobia much?"
• "Big Al may be a large man, but size and strength alone will not save your life in the arena." "And turnin' yourself into bees won't do jack, either."
• "How... how can you tell they made it? Does Chirpy keep an electron microscope in his pocket?"
• "Personally, I'd say having your thumb violently severed is a good excuse to, as Sid so callously tells us, "cry about it". And it didn't even benefit Sid in the end. How karmic."
• "Awww, he's saving his Teddy. That's... sweet. I think. Maybe. Actually, he probably just needs that to solve a puzzle."
• "...how on Earth do-" "Meme." "Ah. That explains it." "Dandoodle really was right."
• "So the fish is so annoying a building moves under its own power to thrash it. Damn. Feels like some kinda achievement."
• "Ah, 'kay, lessee here... Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, and another lil' Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, Kirby..." "Don't forget regular Earth Prime animals." "That too."
• "Strange. I would have assumed cats hated kitsune." "Prol'ly just wants a taste of fish."
• "Yeah! That means no being a nigh-omnipotent demon from beyond our reality allowed! G-go fuck yerself!"
• "More tributes aspiring to apianhood. Such a strange thing to become a trend..."
• "Aye - lookit that! Landed perfectly on his feet, like the badass he is! You show 'em, Livesey!" "Your bias is very much showing." "Again, I know, don't care."
• "And Magical Something shows Alien Something who's boss! I can't get over that. Magical Something. Christ."
• "Richard, leader of the Tiger Mafia, decides to exploit Turkor's free-floating head and, with saw in hand, convince the other tributes he is a master magician." "Why bother? If you have a saw, why not kill a bitch with it?"
• "Characters from old-fashioned lands discovering the wonders of modern technology, that's... wait, shite, there's already been plenty of that." -beat- "Ah, well, never too late to get started!" Kafka begins chugging liqueur straight from the bottle.
• "...while my co-host is... occupied, let us move on to Kermit polluting our pristine Arena environment. The Muppets have hosted environmental awareness programs, have they not? How hypocritical."
• "...Kafka? Do you enjoy zombie shooter games?" No response. "Ah, well, it was worth a shot."
• -clink- "Ahhhhh... okay, so, uh, where were we... okay, Nell, you have a nose, right? How'd you not smell that manky thing?"
• "Well, uh... fuck's she s'posed to eat 'em with? Bacon?"
• "And our last event of the day is... oh." "Oh." "Ohhhhhh dear." The two hosts exchange a quick horrified glance over whatever hideous thing Professor Porter is doing to Tom Scott before the producers hurriedly cut to the ad break.

FALLEN TRIBUTES◊: William Afton, Abigail, Kofuki, Napoleon, Custom Coupe, Megatron, Morgan, Voidy Grimboi, Amory, March Hare, Mukuro, Link, Okelampa, Craig, Ruby Chocolate Bar, Steve, Grimlock

Sorry about the wait, everyone. No excuses I'm just slow :P

Well that was goofy Steve

RIP Okelampa, guess you didn't avoid death like in Maskman

What's wrong with my tributes both being on Internet on the same day?

Wowzers.

Grim is off to a stupendous start, while Grimboi however...didn't do so well.

Expected.

I don't think Doomba just changed the names of the discord bots, but also the BattleBots. It just made a ton of enemies.

R.I.P. Matthew Lillard Afton. Do like the pun though.

Hope he has enough mangrit to carry that thing like Sam.

Maybe Darkseid pruned that timeline because he wasn't the one ruling it.

Also, Thanos getting involved in social media antics? It's like the last time I nominated him and Darkseid together.

Both of my tributes survived! One of them even got a kill! Awesome! That's my first kill!

Edited by TheRealBerdly on May 24th 2023 at 1:43:55 PM