Follow TV Tropes
"It's not pedophila if the child consents!"
"We technically already married before my current reincarnation, so can we skip the ceremony?"
Since a certain day's almost upon us...
Questionable items on a child's Christmas wish list
"Santa, I actually want coal for Christmas because I know I've been bad all year!"
"My friends are all watching Back Door Sluts 9 and they said I'll be a loser if I don't watch it, so I want a copy of it, too!"
"Can I have a sharp knife? For non-murder purposes. I swear. Also, a carpet."
"Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a frilly pink dress, some Barbie dolls, and a big make-up kit. Sincerely yours, Michael."
Edited by Kinola on Dec 28th 2019 at 9:55:19 AM
Terrible ideas for a themed restaurant
Welcome to our third world-themed restaurant, Refugé!
Welcome to Trapezio's, a circus-themed restaurant where the staff serves everything via trapeze! Let me get you some bread/liability waivers!
Welcome to Mystery Café, where you never know what you get until it arrives at your table!
I see you've been to a Brazilian steakhouse too.
"Welcome to everything but the Kitchen Sink, where we cook with— well, guess. Is it edible? Is it safe? WHO CARES?! WE'LL FIND A WAY TO COOK WITH IT SOMEHOW!"
"Welcome to the Deathtaurant! Would you like poison biscuits, a glass of our world-famous [drink name goes here after edit], some cyanide on a whole-wheat bun, or apples filled with razor blades?"
Welcome to the Venus Flytrap cafe! We have some delicious entrees already prepared for you. Just walk through those giant hairs coming up from the floor...
Edited by DrNoPuma on Dec 30th 2019 at 2:14:52 PM
All right, new topic time!
How not to impress a first date.
"I played every Nirvana record backwards, then sped it up by 50x, then added the sounds of my slaves in the basement as they died. Wanna listen?"
"MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"
"I'll have you know I've gotten every single achievement in Ultra Super Death Gore Fest Chainsawer 3000. What other guy can say that?"
Job titles you shouldn't be proud of
"So, uhhhhhhhh, boss, for this question about job experience—"
"I said "murderer"."
Edited by Playing_with_boy on Jan 11th 2020 at 6:15:14 AM
"It says here...Team Fall Guy?"
"Oh boy, I can't wait to begin my job in the heroic galactic army! I still don't understand what 'Red Shirt' means, but it sounds cool!"
Here's my card: "Wm Storm, Professional Shitstain."
Times when saying the names of movies is ill-advised.
"Hey, you! What's your porn name?"
"Uh... The 40-Year-Old Virgin."
Community Showcase More
How well does it match the trope?