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Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Dec 20th 2019 at 9:50:30 PM

"It's not pedophila if the child consents!"

burinnu There you are. from Someplace Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
There you are.
Dec 21st 2019 at 8:08:22 PM

"We technically already married before my current reincarnation, so can we skip the ceremony?"

Mantra of Internet Patience: "lol whatever, that's your opinion."
Berrenta Time Cat from Texas Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
Time Cat
Dec 22nd 2019 at 7:21:37 AM

Since a certain day's almost upon us...

Questionable items on a child's Christmas wish list

TroperNo9001 A Boy and His Little Chef from La Ratatouille Relationship Status: Is that a kind of food?
A Boy and His Little Chef
Dec 22nd 2019 at 7:39:53 AM

"Santa, I actually want coal for Christmas because I know I've been bad all year!"

"And the truth is, I have no talent at all. But this rat, he's the one behind these recipes, he's the cook! The real cook."
WillyFourEyes I Make Deep Cuts! from ...IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE I'M FROM! Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
I Make Deep Cuts!
Dec 22nd 2019 at 11:08:07 AM

"My friends are all watching Back Door Sluts 9 and they said I'll be a loser if I don't watch it, so I want a copy of it, too!"

"What strength! But don't forget there are many guys like you all over the world!"
Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Dec 26th 2019 at 10:40:04 AM

"Can I have a sharp knife? For non-murder purposes. I swear. Also, a carpet."

Dec 28th 2019 at 7:51:29 PM

"Dear Santa, all I want for Christmas is a frilly pink dress, some Barbie dolls, and a big make-up kit. Sincerely yours, Michael."

Edited by Kinola on Dec 28th 2019 at 9:55:19 AM

CustardAndPie Eternal flame baby from In My Mind Relationship Status: I wanna know about these strangers like me
Eternal flame baby
Dec 28th 2019 at 7:53:40 PM

Terrible ideas for a themed restaurant

Before a page sits out too long, you must wick it!
Dec 29th 2019 at 7:11:54 AM

Welcome to our third world-themed restaurant, Refugé!

Starbug Dwar of Helium from Variable Relationship Status: Remembering what Mama said
Dwar of Helium
Dec 29th 2019 at 4:38:59 PM

Welcome to Trapezio's, a circus-themed restaurant where the staff serves everything via trapeze! Let me get you some bread/liability waivers!

Now, I'm going to ask you that question once more. And if you say no, I'm going to shoot you through the head. - John Cleese
Berrenta Time Cat from Texas Relationship Status: Can't buy me love
Time Cat
Dec 30th 2019 at 6:05:03 AM

Welcome to Mystery Café, where you never know what you get until it arrives at your table!

WilliamRadarStorm Tropers, Pebbles. "Pebs" for short. from The catnip dealership. Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Tropers, Pebbles. "Pebs" for short.
Dec 30th 2019 at 10:12:10 AM

[up]I see you've been to a Brazilian steakhouse too.tongue

"Welcome to everything but the Kitchen Sink, where we cook with— well, guess. Is it edible? Is it safe? WHO CARES?! WE'LL FIND A WAY TO COOK WITH IT SOMEHOW!"

If you ever hear me say "Pebbles says hi," she's why.
Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Dec 30th 2019 at 10:23:59 AM

"Welcome to the Deathtaurant! Would you like poison biscuits, a glass of our world-famous [drink name goes here after edit], some cyanide on a whole-wheat bun, or apples filled with razor blades?"

DrNoPuma Spider boi from Mousewood
Spider boi
Dec 30th 2019 at 11:14:41 AM

Welcome to the Venus Flytrap cafe! We have some delicious entrees already prepared for you. Just walk through those giant hairs coming up from the floor...

Edited by DrNoPuma on Dec 30th 2019 at 2:14:52 PM

Totally unrelated, but this video sparks joy for me.
burinnu There you are. from Someplace Relationship Status: I won't say I'm in love
There you are.
Jan 4th 2020 at 5:55:21 AM

All right, new topic time!

How not to impress a first date.

Mantra of Internet Patience: "lol whatever, that's your opinion."
Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Jan 5th 2020 at 8:38:21 PM

"I played every Nirvana record backwards, then sped it up by 50x, then added the sounds of my slaves in the basement as they died. Wanna listen?"

wingedcatgirl Beep boop I'm cute and pixely from Catgirl Heaven, presumably Relationship Status: Crazy Cat Lady
Beep boop I'm cute and pixely
Jan 5th 2020 at 8:51:57 PM

"MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW"

🐱 Name: Sylvi 🐱 I write things and like to talk about them. 🐱 Pronouns: it/they/she
DrNoPuma Spider boi from Mousewood
Spider boi
Jan 7th 2020 at 5:46:32 PM

"I'll have you know I've gotten every single achievement in Ultra Super Death Gore Fest Chainsawer 3000. What other guy can say that?"

Totally unrelated, but this video sparks joy for me.
Superjohn One Eye Dragon from Florida Relationship Status: Anime is my true love
One Eye Dragon
Jan 9th 2020 at 5:11:16 PM

Job titles you shouldn't be proud of

PUT YA GUNS ON!
Playing_with_boy Relationship Status: Baby don't hurt me!
Jan 11th 2020 at 6:13:56 PM

"So, uhhhhhhhh, boss, for this question about job experience—"

"Mmmmmhm."

"I said "murderer"."

"Security."

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Jan 11th 2020 at 6:15:14 AM

Murataku No More Mr Nice Guy from Straya Relationship Status: Who needs love when you have waffles?
No More Mr Nice Guy
DrNoPuma Spider boi from Mousewood
Spider boi
Jan 14th 2020 at 6:23:06 PM

"Oh boy, I can't wait to begin my job in the heroic galactic army! I still don't understand what 'Red Shirt' means, but it sounds cool!"

Totally unrelated, but this video sparks joy for me.
WilliamRadarStorm Tropers, Pebbles. "Pebs" for short. from The catnip dealership. Relationship Status: Above such petty unnecessities
Tropers, Pebbles. "Pebs" for short.
Jan 25th 2020 at 4:29:19 PM

Here's my card: "Wm Storm, Professional Shitstain."


Times when saying the names of movies is ill-advised.

If you ever hear me say "Pebbles says hi," she's why.
WillyFourEyes I Make Deep Cuts! from ...IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE I'M FROM! Relationship Status: It's not my fault I'm not popular!
I Make Deep Cuts!
Jan 26th 2020 at 3:25:58 AM

"Hey, you! What's your porn name?"

"Uh... The 40-Year-Old Virgin."

"What strength! But don't forget there are many guys like you all over the world!"

Total posts: 2,082
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