Fix a wish!

The other empires utterly waste the resultant horde of unspeakable monsters.

I wish to be possessed by a daemon.

Granted! He doesn't like being a daemon, so by "possessing" you, he could live his life as a human. Of course, this also allows you to access his powers at no cost to your sanity.

I wish to be Snowed-In and that the snow is yellow.

Yes, it’s a rare type of snow that is hot. It warms up your house and your body.

I wish I would be trapped in a Pokeball.

Granted! It's actually quite spacious inside, and as soon as you clear up the misunderstanding with whoever mistakenly captured you, you can carry around what is essentially a portable house.

I wish my house was on fire.

Granted, the fire goes out.

I wish to break my skull.

Granted, You wore a helmet.

I wish I can't stop staying up all night!

Granted, you don’t need to sleep anymore.

I wish to break my fingers.

because you can't type, you learn to appreciate nature.

I wish to stop being happy.

Granted. You become "Very Inspired", and spend the next several days painting multiple Masterpiece paintings and writing multiple Bestsellers.

I wish I worked at a Soul-Sucking Retail Job.

Granted. But you get promoted to a better position in a week.

I wish that the mafia was after me.

Granted, the mafia comes from all corners of the earth after you, you ask you to take a high paying job as their new don!

I wish was murdered by a dragon.

Granted. As you breathe your last, the world-consuming demon that had been inhabiting your body tries to Body Surf to a new host — but the nearest target is the dragon, and whoopsie doopsie, wouldn't you know it, dragons automatically consume demons that try to possess them. Congratulations, your Heroic Sacrifice saved the world! And somehow as a reward for this you get resurrected.

I wish for a cubic millimeter of up quarks, without any down quarks to bind them, just to see what happens.

edited 15th Jan '18 10:52:09 PM by wingedcatgirl

Granted, they all dissipate harmlessly.

I wish for life to be a simulation I just triggered a Game-Breaking Bug in.

Granted. Said Game-Breaking Bug becomes a meme on par with Missingno. and Slender Man, and is embraced by the community.

I wish the MTV of the '90s only played the same ten music videos every day on an endless loop.

Granted, the videos never get old.

I wish Charkrondor murdered my family.

Eh...they were all assholes anyway, and your dad was going to give you up for adoption to a known sex addict and possible child abuser.

I wish Saddam Hussein really was hiding weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

He gives them up without a fight, and decides to retire and become a pacifist.

I wish I was turned to stone.

Granted. You are now a member of The Rolling Stones.

I wish there was a meteor heading straight towards Earth.

Granted, but humanity unites together and destroys the meteor leaving to world peace.

I wish my hands were made of spaghetti.

Granted! They're now the strongest and most dextrous form of Combat Tentacles. Octopi look upon you with hilarious jealousy.

I wish for my underwear to be superglued onto me.

Granted. It's metal underwear that gives you protection against scrotal damage.

I wish Nathan Larson would be president of the world until the end of time.

Oh you naive person. I could hug you.

edited 3rd Jun '18 11:05:14 AM by TalesofUnder

Granted, he turns out to be an amazing president and solves world hunger, cures cancer, and stops all wars.

I wish for Aliens to invade Earth.

Granted. They're actually pretty good dudes, and not only save the planet from all current issues, but they grant us with incredibly advanced technology and the knowledge of how to produce it.

I wish I was a Roomba.

edited 3rd Jun '18 10:07:38 AM by Beverly

Granted you can transform into a roomba (and back) any time you want.

I wish a werewolf mauled the hell out of me.

Granted. You become a werewolf in the process. It's freaking awesome!

I wish for lions and tigers and bears, oh my.