All Purpose Evangelion Fanfiction Thread

I think you understand why.

... Well, OK, it was actually nighttime by now, so technically it was not a good night. But that's a pedantic distinction. The point is that our dear Shinji was not having a good time right now, as he stood in the living room with one certain Misato Katsuragi. Why, you ask?

"... Remind me why I have to wear this outfit again?"

It wasn't because his often-drunken slob of a guardian decided to hold a party tonight at a nearby cosplay club that she reserved specifically for that purpose. Parties were supposed to be all about having fun, right? And God knows how much he'd like to catch a break from fighting giant alien monsters from another world every other week.

"Because you look cool in it, Shinji-kun!"

It wasn't because the party's cosplay theme was "Comic Book Superhero(ine)". He might not look like it, but he happened to be a bit of a fan of American superhero comics. The escapist fantasy element of imagining himself as one of those superheroes was a good way of temporarily forgetting about the harsh reality that he lived everyday.

"... Misato-san, I look like I'm wearing my underwear on the outside."

... And the unusual abundance of busty women in Comic Book Superhero Land was certainly a major factor. But Asuka would kill him if she knew that. Maybe. He wasn't too sure about that with all the mixed signals she kept sending him.

"Don't be so negative! Losts of girls dig heroes in futuristic bodysuits and visors!"

No, ladies and gentlemen. The real reason Shinji Ikari knows that he's not having a good day...

"But I can barely see in this visor. And it chafes. And it just looks silly."

... is that Misato Katsuragi insisted that he cosplay as Scott Summers, codename Cyclops. Specifically, his trademark look from the '90s◊. The poor boy wanted to dress as Spider-Man, but nooooo, Misato told him that she'll not have her ward be the laughing stock of the party for cosplaying as "a guy dressed in pajamas." He could only hope that Rei, whom he assumed was pressed into attending the party by a direct order from Misato and was currently changing into her outfit in his room (the thought threatened to induce a burning blush in his face), was faring better than he was. Whatever the case, he had absolutely no idea what the outfit she was going to wear.

"You complain too much, kiddo. Besides, you should look on the bright side."

Grumbling something unintelligible under his breath, the sulking Shinji tugged on the neon-yellow briefs in a futile attempt to readjust it, before turning his face back to his guardian. She was apparently dressed as some supervillainess-turned-superheroine called "Black Cat". Why on Earth she was called a "Cat" when there was nothing remotely feline about wearing a black leather catsuit with furry ruffles and an eye-mask was beyond him. Misato said something about her being a cat burglar, though. Maybe that was it?

... Well, whatever it is, she's certainly going to be turning a lot of heads in the party, walking around with that zipper pulled down to an almost criminal low. Her figure was the envy of all women in Tokyo-3, after all.

Blushing as he realized he was staring a bit too long at his guardian, he quickly turned his face away, praying that his visor had concealed his reddened face, and attempted to distract Misato by responding to her earlier statement. "What bright side could there possibly be to wearing this... thing?"

Misato had indeed noticed Shinji's flush, but miraculously decided to not tease him for it. Instead, she opted to answer his question. "Well, now you're a perfect match for Asuka!"

As if on cue, the redhead in question stepped into the room just as Shinji opened his mouth to inquire about what Misato meant. His blush then became even redder as he took in the German girl's appearance, clad in a predominantly green spandex outfit that left little to the imagination.

"How do I look?" Asuka asked with a confident smile as she spun with a flourish.

Shinji remained silent, as he was trying to silence the perverted voice in his head screaming at him about how it seemed like she was wearing nothing at all underneath her outfit.

"Absolutely marvelous!" Misato exclaimed in accented English with a thumb-up.

"... That is a very horrible pun, Misato," Asuka said with undisguised sarcasm, before turning to the sole male in the room and grinning. "Well? See something you like, Ero-Shinji?"

As he sputtered in an attempt to come up with a response, Asuka was mentally gloating over having asserted her feminine desirability once again. "(Try and beat that, you blue-haired bitch!)"

Barely a moment passed before the door to Shinji's room finally opened, and the blue-haired pilot stepped out into the living room.

The still-grinning Asuka turned around and opened her mouth, only for whatever scathing mockery she was about to utter to die on her tongue as her eyes widened in shock. Misato herself could only gape at the scene she was beholding, while Shinji went bug-eyed, and his blushing face became positively volcanic in its redness, as his mind struggled to make sense of the visual input it was receiving.

Three facts stood out immediately about Rei Ayanami to the trio of onlookers.

One: Her hair has been dyed blonde.

Two: Her outfit was all-white.

Three: Said outfit was composed of nothing but a tight corset that was barely containing the girl's rather generous curves (considerably better than her own, an envious Asuka would note), a high-leg bikini-style bottom that was almost scandalously skimpy, over-the-elbow opera gloves and thigh-high stockings that seemed practically painted on, a furry cape that hung off her shoulders, and nothing else. The combined ensemble exposed a lot more skin that Shinji had ever had the pleasure of seeing of her, barring the one time he accidentally saw her naked. And yet somehow the fact that she was not showing everything made her look even more enticing than when she was completely nude.

Had Asuka not been busy trying to decide whether to scream in outrage at Rei daring to flaunt her figure so blatantly in front of her, or just start smacking the hell out of Shinji for staring at Rei even more intensely that he did to her, she would've proven to be the only one in the room – besides Rei, obviously – that was knowledgeable enough about superhero comics to instantly recognize who exactly Rei was cosplaying as: Emma Frost.◊ The White Queen. X-Men supervillainess turned morally questionable superheroine. The "Slut of the Marvel Universe", as some of her detractors call her.

Unfortunately for Asuka, Rei did not give her a chance to gather her wits, as she strode forward towards her target with a clear purpose. Meanwhile, Shinji's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as they struggled to decide which part of the view before them they should focus on: The girl's enticingly bouncing chest, or her seductively swaying hips. The dilemma was interrupted by Rei finally stopping within arm's length of the boy, then turning her head to face Misato.

"Major," Rei addressed the older woman, causing her to blink as she snapped from her state of shock, "it is preferable to act 'in-character' while 'cosplaying', correct?"

Misato looked bewildered by the question for a few moments, before finally answering "Um, yeah, that's true."

"I see," Rei said, turning to face Shinji again, before raising her hand and waving it in front of his face. "Your mind is now under my control," she said matter-of-factly with a monotonous voice. "You will obey."

"... Yes, Ayanami-san," the boy slowly responded. He was too distracted by the heavenly view of Rei's cleavage below to put up any resistance.

"Ayanami-sama."

"Yes, Ayanami-sama."

"Good boy." She patted his cheek, before taking his arm between her own (and deliberately sandwiching it between two soft and warm "pillows") and leading him out of the apartment.

Exactly 2 minutes later, as the unofficial couple were exiting the apartment building, Rei could not help but slightly smirk as she heard Mt. Asuka finally erupt. The outraged screaming of the German redhead was music to her ears.

Shinji is at least passingly familiar with Spider-Man - enough to want to cosplay as him specifically, at least - but has no idea who Black Cat is?

Honestly, that kinda breaks my SOD.

One: Her hair has been dyed blonde.

Two: Her outfit was all-white.

That's because he never got to read more than a few comic books about him, hear the gist of his story from Toji and Kensuke, and never saw any of the stuff that prominently features Black Cat among the cast. Which kinda makes sense, considering who and what he is and that he's in Japan, not North America.

Asuka's dad: (dryly) I take it you two already met?

Asuka: (in a casual tone) This creep has been stalking me since school. Can I kick his ass?

Asuka's dad: (in an equally casual tone) Considering that he's our new landlord, I don't think so.

(Funny Background Event: Kaworu looking back and forth between the two)

Asuka: (groans) You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!...

Asuka's dad: Afraid not, kiddo. (to Kaworu) Anyway, I was surprised someone of your age would be living here all alone.

Kaworu: I moved in here myself less than a month ago.

Asuka's dad: Studying abroad?

Kaworu: (embarrassed chuckle) Not quite, but... you could say that I'm here for school reasons. I used to live in Europe.

(father and daughter both flinch at that - bad memories)

Asuka: Well, if you two are quite done with the pleasantries, I'm outta here.

Asuka's dad: Hey, don't be an ass.

Asuka: I'm not an ass. (to Kaworu) Just because we live in the same place doesn't mean we're friends or anything. Better remember that.

Kaworu: (dismissively) Yeah, yeah... (starts to walk towards his room)

Asuka: Don't 'yeah, yeah' me! I'm talking to you, asshole! (Kaworu stops) Just so we're absolutely clear: my stuff is off-limits, my room is off-limits, I am off-limits. Trespass on any of these and I will chuck you headfirst through the nearest window, your house or not. Got it?

Kaworu: Got it.

Asuka: Good.

(Funny Background Event: Asuka's dad does a Face Palm)