Some idiot is smoking while pumping gas, so I'm caught in the explosion.
The next poster is wearing a ghillie suit
.
The Draftsman of Doom
I am mistaken for kindling by a villager, who lights me on fire for warmth.
The next poster would give their left leg to eat some decent food.
Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.The trader who accepts my offer doesn't cauterize the hemorrhage shut afterwards. I don't even have time to eat the food.
The next poster beds a ![[nja]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/user_ninja_2074.png "[nja]"){kind=small}
The ninja’s... er... “sword”... is so large that it obstructs my vision. I stumble away, accidentally impaling myself on his actual sword. I never once realize that I’m not gay.
TNP is sweeping their house.
I accidentally discover a Portal Door and then I get sucked into a black hole.
TNP is going skydiving.
Not Sherlock Holmes
I activate my parachute, but it activates all wrong and throttles me.
TNP is in a WarioWare game.
“Now! Let us engage in the art of deduction!”
The Unknown Pleasure they were talking about
I am taken hostage by Wario, and am forced to play Wario Land 4 for the Game Boy Advance (it’s his greatest achievement, after all) till death, no food, no water, no sanity, just Wario Land 4.
TNP is playing Doom
I can't say goodbye to yesterday…
A freak accident transports me into the game, and I am caught in the path of a demon.
TNP is waiting for the traffic light to turn green.
Semain Calm
The traffic light falls on my head right as it turns green.
TNP is collecting pebbles.
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
I accidentally pick up a pebble that a poison dart frog had rubbed its body against earlier. I die.
TNP is visiting a museum.
sick down from the bones to the other side
someone shoots a ray gun at the T-rex model that makes it come to life and I get unceremoniously devoured
TNP is playing games past their bedtime A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!
The Draftsman of Doom
Wario gives me crap, I punch the TV and get electrocuted.
The next poster is a sleazy producer.
Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.
One of the actors gets angry and punches me to death.
TNP is on a vacation in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Edited by GoosefromWikipedia on Jul 29th 2020 at 1:30:47 AM
The Unknown Pleasure they were talking about
Yoshi kills me to keep up with his tax evasion plot
TNP is at Greendale Community College
I can't say goodbye to yesterday…
The Draftsman of Doom
The 6th season is cancelled, and an asteroid hits the earth.
The next poster is the predator after chemotherapy.
Your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man.
Joyful angel
I decide if I could kill a Xenomorph queen, spoiler: I failed and became a Father.
TNP is in central Park on n New York getting hunted by a Russian Mercenary.
"How can I bring joy when I now know we are bringing misery to thousands of innocent people?"
Back by Unpopular Demand
I get sniped by a member disguised as a Bush.
TNP is at a Pearl Jam concert.
sick down from the bones to the other side
I get crushed underneath a broken spotlight and die
TNP is eating a watermelon A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!
The Melonlord gets angry at me and decides to kill me.
TNP is curled up in a weighted blanket.
I like my new weighted blanket. I fall into such a blissful sleep, I'm too deep asleep to hear the Vampire Hunter breaking into my house. The slayer goes for my decoy coffin booby-trapped with explosives, but the explosives were too powerful. Instead of just spray-painting the room in gore, the explosives collapse my entire house. One of the broken wooden support beams impales both my weighted blanket and my chest.
The next poster is on a space station and hears a docking request from a spaceship carrying coagulant, bandages, zit concealer, iron supplements, protein powder, a hundred scarves, and fifty human-sized crates of dirt. Scanners register no life signs on board the ship.
If not for this anchor I'd be dancing between the stars. At least I can try to write better vampire stories than Twilight.
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
I go down to the docking bay to inspect the ship only to get sucked out when the place is depressurized. Having forgotten my EVA suit, I quickly perish in the vacuum of space.
The next poster is playing Hearts.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
Semain Calm
For some fucking reason we were playing with actual human hearts. We lost the Ace of Hearts, so they just borrowed mine.
TNP is mowing the lawn.
and the public won't dwell on my transmission cause it wasn't televised.
The lawn mower turns on me and turns me into red grass.
TNP is riding a rollercoaster.
Tell Me, Have You Seen the Yellow Sign?
I live. Only for Death to take offense to that. Somehow me spilling ketchup at a cafe leads to a freak accident where an overcooked pizza crashes through the kitchen and takes my head off.
TNP is fishing. Look with century eyes... With our backs to the arch And the wreck of our kind We will stare straight ahead For the rest of our lives
I choke on a pretzel and suffocate
TNP is at a 7-Eleven
Edited by KungFuCutBug on Jul 27th 2020 at 9:41:38 AM
A plague has consumed the town, summoning Pestilence, Horseman of the Apocalypse!