Why Edison hates the future (or proper grammar and capitalization) is never fully elucidated (it is hinted, however, that he doesn't like how we in the future use the World Wide Intar Wub mostly for sending pictures of cats). What is clear is that he has numerous problems himself, including severe mental disorders (the "stabby stabby FUCKING STABBY" thoughts), which the primitive headphones seem to help keep at bay. The headphones also suck the tears from his eyes (so "edison never let fuckers see him cry") and cleans his "dirty dirty brain blood."
Edison also has low self-esteem, due to what appears to be a bad breakup ("she will regret leaving edison"), resulting in his outrage with the world. He is also on a variety of medication ("why aren't the pills working?") and may have tried to commit suicide in the past ("stop looking at edison's wrists").
Edison hate future and Edison hate YOU.
Edison Hate Future contains the following tropes:
- Applied Phlebotinum: "when edison thinks down pipes into special Future Death Machine, in 21st century another teenager on MySpace gets hit by a car".
- Crapsack World: "edison look detached and amused, like he cope fine with constant horror and heartbreak of world".
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: "edison maintains that 'slutmonkey' is a real word".
- The Reveal: "edison has been naked from the waist down this entire time".
- Room101: "in future, edison will have The Button. and when people on intarwub give it 'here is my special quiz about being a pirate and all the books I pretend to own and what if I were a lesbian amputee from Mars?' edison will press The Button and they will be fucked to death by mad stoats".
- Third-Person Person: If edison is the narrator.