"We're game for a clash of plot distillment, storming the end, feasting on brilliance; we'll dance on the winds of wish-fulfillment and dream our endings"
—All, "A Dream of Endings"
Queens is, like Westeros: An American Musical (to which it is a sequel), a musical parody of A Song of Ice and Fire and its live-action TV adaptation Game of Thrones, this time using the music of Six: The Musical.
The play focuses on wrapping up the storylines of the six queens - Queen Cersei, Queen Margaery, Asha Greyjoy (who rebrands the book's Kingsmoot as a Queensmoot), Princess Arianne the Queenmaker, Queen Daenerys, and Queen Sansa. Each of them in turn gets a chance to tell their take on things, usually more based on the show than on the books, the idea being that at the end the audience will pick who gets to be queen. Like in the source, however, the six queens eventually decide to just write their own endings.
The play provides examples of:
- Adaptation Amalgamation:
- Although nearly all of the plotlines are based on the show more than the books, Arianne is still included, along with Jon Connington, Aegon, and the Shy Maid.
- Anachronism Stew:
- Margaery. Just ... Margaery. During the prelude to her song, in which she and Sansa exchange slangy compliments ("Queen Margaery! I stan!"/"No, girl, you are goals. Purr?"), Asha looks increasingly confused and eventually comments that they don't speak this dialect of the Common Tongue in the Iron Islands.
- There is a fairly long sequence where Aegon scrolls through a dating app. He also has a TikTok account.
- As Long as It Sounds Foreign: The entirety of 'Haus of Blackfyre' is sung in very hammy German accents, since that is canonically the Lorathi accent in the show ... except there's no indication in the books that Aegon has ever even been to Lorath.
- Chewing the Scenery: Cersei. So much.
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: The queens.
- Cersei: Red initially, then pale gold after her walk of shame.
- Margaery: Blue.
- Asha: Black leather.
- Arianne: Orange
- Daenerys: Shiny silver
- Sansa: Furs
- Corrupt the Cutie: Margaery to Tommen.
- "He's only nine, power is mine, this one's benign, we'll use him instead"
- "Tommen, sweetheart" (pushes hair aside and shrugs to highlight breasts), "you're the monarch; start learning some street-smarts, take Mummy off the Council, save our espousal"
- Cover Innocent Eyes and Ears: Jon Connington does this to Aegon whenever Illyrio starts talking about how much he likes cheese or how dating was conducted in his day.
- Dude Magnet: Margaery
- Fun with Homophones:
- Don't Blow Me Up (Margaery): "Wedding's a psych-out, choke's on you" (referring to Joffrey's wedding) "This fowl missionary" (referring to the High Sparrow)
- Funny Background Event: Cersei and Margaery each spend the other's song pulling faces.
- Gratuitous Foreign Language: The Haus of Blackfyre ooh ja!
- The Ghost: Everyone except the six queens and Euron Greyjoy.
- The Lost Lenore: Rhaegar for Jon Connington.
- Totally Radical: Margaery's song is peppered with modern phrases, including the entire chorus ("Sorry not sorry 'bout this glow-up, I'm just pulling off a look, don't worry don't worry don't blow this up, I didn't mean to have y'all shook. OMG but low-key you need the Reach, so sorry not sorry 'bout this glow-up, don't blow this up")
- Aegon, to the point that Illyrio, his own father, cannot understand him.
- Truer to the Text: Despite the parody nature.
- Cersei's affair with Taena Merryweather is referenced.
- Tommen is explicitly nine rather than the show's teenager.
- Arianne's entire plotline wasn't in the show. The Blackfyres also figure prominently.
- Kevan Lannister's death is explicitly noted.
- When I Was Your Age...: Illyrio's rant about how he met Aegon's mother.I don't get the appeal of these dating apps. In my day, we went to Lyseni pleasure houses! And we paid good coin for the most Valyrian-looking courtesan! And we caught feelings! And then we had unprotected sex! And then she tells us... [Varys brandishes his fan at him] ... I, uh, I don't know why I said that, but ignore it.
