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Recap / Ultra Fast Pony

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     Season 1 

UFP 1: The Canon Has Misfired: By sheer coincidence, magical protegee Twilight Sparkle is reading the one book with valuable information of the coming end of the world, later that night. She thinks that might be bad and goes to fetch her slave/adopted son Spike to aid in the endeavor, against Princess Celestia's nondescript orders to stay and attend her tea party. Soon arriving in Ponyville to start her crusade to save the world and encountering the mob, Twilight gets a little sidetracked after an annoying rainbow-maned pony messes her hair up. Twilight swears revenge and, despite Spike's best efforts to keep her on track, completely forgets about that whole end of the world thing.

UFP 2: Fillen' Dem Plot Holes, Bro!: After a brief recap of the last episode, in which the dreaded gravelly-voiced Nightmoon Mare made her dreaded return, after a thousand years of planning, announced her revenge... then ran away, Twilight forms a ragtag alliance with the five craziest and most annoying ponies in Ponyville to stop Nightmoon Mare before she can take over the world. After their harrowing journey and saving the day, Twilight is rewarded with... banishment to Ponyville for missing Celestia's tea party.

UFP 3: Now With A Sound Effect: After their journey last episode, Twilight is sent a letter from Celestia, explaining that since Luna has come back, she has the gall to want her own room to live in so Twilight and a friend are to be be used as free labor to clean out "the second basement on the right down the lower hallway." The envelope contains passes into the castle. Oh, and they also double as tickets to The Grand Galloping Gala. Much to Twilight's annoyance, her "friends" ignore the first part and try to get her to take them to the Gala. Except for Rainbow Dash, who just wants to steal some of Celestia's stuff, and Applejack, who just has to get to Canterlot to sort out "none of your damn business" ventures.

UFP 4: Mob Wars: A herd of cows have come to wage war on the Apple family, who definitely aren't the Irish Mafia using apple farming as a front. It falls upon Applejack to prepare for a counterattack. Luckily, Twilight accidentally poisoned the apples.

UFP 5: Everybody Hates Gilda: Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie manage to bond with each other over pranking other ponies, until Pinkie pulls a harmless and simple prank on Rainbow, causing the latter to run away crying. She just finds a newly arrived British griffon to make Pinkie jealous.

UFP 6: Hippocratic Oafs: A new pony arrives in Ponyville who, like Twilight, is a loner who values magic over friends, but unlike Twilight and certain canon pony, she is very nice and humble. Also, unlike Twilight, she is resented by the same ponies who threw a party for the last new unicorn to not want friends, and they dub her "Blue Twilight". Confused and irritated by the different receptions the both of them received, "Purple Twilight" leaves saying she hopes a giant bear eats all of them. Unfortunately, a giant bear does come to eat them, and Twilight reluctantly helps.

UFP 7: Pega Please! The Mane Six have a problem on their hooves: A nearby dragon's smoke is going to kill everyone, and it is up to our heroines to reason with and/or kill him. On their way up the mountain, Fluttershy's crippling shyness manages to almost cripple their journey, but her being there pays off when the dragon makes the mistake of making a racist comment about her which enrages her and leads to the episode ending... somehow.

UFP 8: A Library With No Twilight: Rarity and Applejack reluctantly have to put up with each other after a rainstorm and the show's perverted narrator Phil forces them into taking shelter at the apparently abandoned library.

UFP 9: Funk Master Z: Twilight is taking a walk across Ponyville with Spike, happy that they had gone a whole week without any racism whatsoever, leading Twilight to thinking there just may be some hope for this town. Then she finds out her friends are hiding from a rapping zebra because she is different from them. The ponies end up cursed afterwards.

UFP 10 One Joke To Rule Them All: Due to her failure to make friends in Ponyville, Twilight has resort to asking Spike for advise on how to get closer to her "friends"... despite the fact that he has not really had any extended interaction with them. After a brief debate, they settle on Twilight trying to thank of a joke, at which point she thinks of The One Joke to Rule Them All; "Talk about eye candy." Also, Fluttershy finds some cute bug things in the woods, that her friends quickly claim without her permission.

UFP 11 Random Eye Magic: Spike wakes up from a dream, only to inform Twilight that she is actually the one dreaming, leading to her waking. Afterwards, she goes to help out with The Winter Wrap Up, which is going poorly, to say the least. Mostly because most of the town is not actually pitching in, due to no one willing to pay them. Twilight manages to fix this problem by lying about paying them. Then Twilight wakes up again.

UFP 12 Out With The Old Characters: After being made fun of for not having any friends or a Cutie Mark, and finding out that her only friend Twist is actually a delusion, Applebloom sets out to find some new friends. And just maybe, get to the whole Cutie Mark thing. Afterwards she meets a gravelly voiced hellion unicorn, Sweetie Belle, and a pegasus that can only speak in scatting, Scootaloo. They then decide to form their own club.

UFP 13 Rocks, Clocks, And Two Stupid ponies: Applejack and Rainbow Dash enter a race to settle which is batter: A hat or a pair of wings. It! Is! On! Also Twilight's there and so are Pinkie Pie and Spike, as is Princess Celestia. Twilight wins by just using her magic to teleport across the finish line.

UFP 14 Little Miss Montage: Rarity prepares for an upcoming fashion show, while also having to design her friends' dresses for the upcoming gala. This eventually leads to her having an emotional breakdown. Also, she accidentally shows the other ponies her private collection BDSM gear.

UFP 15 Ponynet Fight!: Twilight is informed of Pinkie's alleged physic abilities, and comes to a horrifying realization: Someone's wrong on the ponynet! As the self-proclaimed "smartest and most rational pony in town", it is up to her to obsessively stalk Pinkie and prove her wrong, so everyone will believe in and have the exact same opinions as her.

UFP 16 Shameless Self Reference: Rainbow Dash accidentally destroys Twilight's library while practicing flying for the upcoming junior league flight competition and makes fun of them for not being able to do anything about it as she leaves for the competition, leading to Twilight and the others-sans Fluttershy-plotting to get back at her and Twilight using a spell to give Rarity wings, hoping to show up the annoying pegasus.

UFP 17 Chickens! Run!: After Sweetie Belle's band reunion leaves Rarity's home in complete disrepair, the newly formed Cutie Mark Crusaders must find a new place to host their meeting. Which, unfortunately for Fluttershy, is a responsibility that falls upon her.

UFP 18 Gelatin Swingsets: After Celestia finally pays Luna's ransom to The CMC, and they awarded for their successful kidnapping plan... with two bits, which Applejack uses to buy them a beat up tree house to use for their club. Afterwards, they enter a talent show at the school in hopes of winning the grand prize: A Gelatin Swingset! And no, they don't explain how that works.

UFP 19 The David Bowie Drinking Game: Rarity is captured by three Diamond Dogs, that are all named David Bowie who want to use her free labor, but (much to her disappointment) without harming her. It is up to her friends to save her. Also, the audience has to take a shot every time someone makes a reference to one of David Bowie's songs or says his name.

Rarity: [in the opening] Bowie Bowie Bowie Bowie Bowie Bowie....

UFP 20 Copy Wrong: Rarity becomes jealous after Fluttershy "steals" her success. Also, Wacarb is brutally assaulted by YouTube's Copyright Police.

UFP 21 The Butts Family: The Mane Six are charged with the very delicate task of negotiating peace between the tribe of Buffalo and the ponies of Appleloosa without offending the Buffalo... A task they are not at all cut out for. Which turns out to be a "ghost story" Pinkie Pie is telling on the train.

Pinkie: Diplomacy? Is that where you gut a fish and strap it to a rocket?
Chief Thunderbutt: No, that's... well I don't even know what that is.

UFP 22 To Kill A Firebird: Celestia visits Ponyville, but when she has to excuse herself to go to a tea party that Luna didn't invite her to, she tasks Fluttershy with killing her sick pet bird, since she's so bad with animals. Instead, Fluttershy tries to take take the opportunity to prove that she is good with animals, which doesn't end well.

UFP 23 Making Babies: Twilight informs The CMC of the disgusting methods used to make babies now that sex is no longer a feasible means of reproduction due to the lack of males and the fact that it is icky and painful. Cue the girls accidentally using these methods to turn Twilight into a filly and then, purposely using it on the other members of The Mane Six. Antics ensue.

UFP 24 Edgar Allan Poen: A recap of "Owl's Well and End Well", in the style of Edgar Allan Poe. Seriously, that's the whole episode.

UFP 25 Stay Tuned: Pinkie Pie, a gritty, loose cannon detective, is assigned Gummy, a by-the-book psychic alligator as her partner. Together, they have to investigate the criminal activities of the Apple Family. Can they successfully conduct their investigation in this Film Noir parody where the Apple Family conspires with every other pony in Ponyville?

UFP 26 The Longest Episode/At The Gala Song Parody: The ponies arrive at The Grand Galloping Gala, where they hope to have good time, but don't. Also, there's a full length song that had to be cut for legal reasons and posted as a separate video.


     Season 2 

UFP 27 The Penny And Clyde Show: Bizarre magical occurrences are wreaking havoc in Ponyville and, even worse, Discord has stolen Princess Celestia's tea cups! Now, it is up to Twilight and her friends to stop him.

UFP 28 How To Control Freaks: After they were defeated in a matter of seconds, Discord has reversed the vices of Twilight's friends, while somehow making them even more annoying. Now it is up to Twilight to set everything right and find those tea cups! Also, save the world.

UFP 29 Purple Party Pooper: It is Twilight's birthday and her friends told her they would come help her celebrate, causing to be so uncharacteristically happy, she sings about what a great day this is... Until Spike informs her, her friends aren't going to make it.

Twilight: Motherf**ker, those rotten (bleep), I'm going to (bleep) (bleep), right where Celestia doesn't shine!

UFP 30 Utter Lunacy: During Halloween, Ponyville celebrates the return of everyone's favorite black character who unfortunately didn't get much screen time last season: Zecora!!! But too bad for her, Princess Luna finally makes her grand return and immediately steals the show.

UFP 31 Sister Angst: Rarity has to watch after Sweetie Belle while their parents are off getting drunk. They soon have a falling out when Sweetie Belle ruins Rarity's clothes, steals her jewelry, and sets her kitchen (and cat) on fire.

UFP 32 Winning: Applebloom tries to get her Cutie Mark prematurely by taking performance enhancing drugs.

UFP 33 The Pet Games: Rainbow Dash is put in-charge of hosting the very dangerous and unethical Pet Games where she ends up adopting her pet tortoise Tank. Despite that not being allowed.

UFP 34 The Cheesen One: Rainbow Dash takes a vacation from her job of being the village idiot/town scapegoat and inadvertently ends of becoming a hero to the town... before being replaced by a new hero and is left to return to her old job.

UFP 35 Saying Words: Rarity gets to spend a few days at Canterlot for her birthday. On the streets, she bumps into the affluential Fancypants, and becomes increasingly annoyed when he ignores her sexual advances.

UFP 36 For Glorious Mother Equestria!: The events of Spike's birthday/turning gigantic and going on a rampage are turned into a propaganda video by an unseen narrator... who's narrations completely contradict the actual events onscreen.

UFP 37 The Best Episode Ever: The cast of Ultra Fast Pony decide to give their fans everything they ever wanted... or at least that's we they say they're going to do, really they just reenact the founding of their homeland.

UFP 38 Granny Smith Is Mean:

UFP 39 Pinkie's Day In: Pinkie "finds" two infants to claim as her own, forcing Mr. and Mrs. Cake to search for their real parents, while Pinkie is left to take care of them.

UFP 40 Derp And Destruction: While Applejack is out of town, a lightning strike gives (possibly) Derpy Hooves' butt incredible power, which she uses to terrorize the main cast, causing them to flee for their lives.

UFP 41 Faith To Faith: Flim and Flam show up to evangelize the ponies of Ponyville of the "one true Alicorn", King Lord High Commander Darkflame Steelwings, the Magnificent. Applejack, a devout Catholic (who somehow doesn't believe in God), gets annoyed and wants them to piss off.

UFP 42 Reading To Rainbow: After Rainbow Dash winds up in the hospital, Twilight reluctantly agrees to entertain her by reading to her.

UFP 43 Pirate Shipping: After noticing Cheerilee does not have a boyfriend to spend Hearts and Hooves day with and her friends accidentally make her cry in the corner again, Applebloom gathers the other Crusaders to help find a pony to be with her, before settling on Big Mac, because he's the first choice she thought of.

UFP 44 So Random!: When a grumpy immigrant, Cranky Doodle Dinkle Donkey Doodle Doodle Day III, moves in, Pinkie Pie tries to kindle their friendship by proving that she's funny. While she doesn't prove that she's funny, she manages to earn his gratitude by reuniting him with a former lover that he's been searching for.

UFP 45 All A Boot Shy:

UFP 46 Time: Twilight is visited by someone that claims to be her from the future (though whether she actually is her from the future is debatable) and has a shocking revelation: herself from the future is an annoying jerk! They take this opportunity to discuss the ontology and metaphysics of time, and not to advertise freshly-made glazed doughnuts only for $0.99 at your local Dunkin' Donuts.

UFP 47 How Not To Train Your Dragon: When Spike finally convinces Twilight (or was it the other way around?) to let him go on a self-indulgent journey to find his true purpose as a dragon, he ends up joining a fraternity of dragons known as the Brothers' Republic of Noble Youth.

UFP 48 Forgettershy: Rainbow Dash leads all the other pegasus ponies in Ponyville in making a giant tornado. As time goes on, everypony keeps having the feeling that they're forgetting something. Could it be common sense? Also, Fluttershy is mysteriously absent from the episode.

UFP 49 Gossip Girls

UFP 50 C.S.Pie: For the first time, UFP tries to make a family-friendly, reasonable moral: Don't touch my food! Once someone immediately breaks it and eats Pinkie's enormous cake, she and Twilight have to find their confection-consuming culprit. Since Twilight's a huge party pooper, she won't let Pinkie take the easy solution of arresting everyone on the train, meaning they have to resort to such depraved tactics like finding evidence and deductive reasoning.

UFP 51 The Longest Engagement

UFP 52 The Longest Wedding

     Season 3 

UFP 53 Smokey And The Crystals: In a fit of intolerable boredom, Celestia banishes Twilight again, this time to the Crystal Kingdom. However, the Kingdom turns out to be besieged by a big black stallion who smokes crystals... or something like that.

UFP 54 A Sombra Affair

UFP 55 I Am Pinkie: Pinkie Pie needs some extra hooves for some unknown project she's working on. Since none of her friends actually like her, she instead uses the mirror pool to summon a bunch more Pinkie Pies, who all swarm and annoy everyone in Ponyville. The town tasks Twilight with the job of getting rid of the menace, a problem she solves by arbitrarily killing all of the Pinkie Pies except for one. They name the last one Pinkie Pie 2, who is, for all intents and purposes, identical to the original Pinkie which they probably just killed, except she doesn't know what The Lord of the Rings is, and may be able to summon demons.

UFP 56 Join The Club

UFP 57 Stranger Than Fan Fiction: The normal writers of Ultra Fast Pony go on strike after Twilight says the writing is worse than being stabbed through the anus with a rusty AIDS knifenote . In desperation, the team finds a new writer, who's willing to work for free in exchange for being in the episode. Cue every negative fan fiction stereotype ever, as the episode turns out to be the self insert fanfic of "Yellow Twilight", Blue Twilight's awesome, talented, and extremely sexy twin sister.

UFP 58 The Nightmoon Mare Zone: While camping out, Rainbow Dash makes a bet with Applejack to tell a scary story, about Scootaloo running alone in the woods and forced to hangout with Princess Luna.

UFP 59 Top Dumb: Rainbow Dash is finale accepted into the Mildly Effective Flight Team academy-much to Spitfire's annoyance-where she is forced to compete for attention with Lightning Dust, a very slow, odd, and possibly mentally retarded pegasus who is somehow still more competent than Rainbow.

UFP 60 Hail To The Queen: The Apple Family's elders gather at Sweet Apple Acres for "business" reasons. For some unfathomably stupid reason, they decide to bring all of their families as well. While Granny Smith deals with the rest of the elders in an attempt to get in bed with Applejack's uncle O'Seedy, Applejack has to entertain the rest of the family. Also, Babs Seed comes back.

UFP 61 Wolfenspike 3D: Applejack accidentally saves Spike's life, while trying to kill some German Timberwolves she hated. Much to her chagrin, Spike reveals that whoever saves his life is automatically his new mother!

Applejack: Do I have to?
Spike: Yes! And you can lose the attitude.
Applejack: Fine.

UFP 62 Discord And Me: Fluttershy is tasked by Celestia to reform Discord for no freaking reason! There Discord has to put up with Fluttershy's very ineffective "methods" of reforming him, until he gives up and says he's reformed just to get the episode over with.

UFP 63 Ponyville Noir: For some reason, the show has turned into a black and white story about Spike as a hard-boiled detective with the other characters comprising the other roles.

UFP 64 The Hip Hop Happening: It is up to Twilight and the rest of The Mane Six to impress The Pony Games inspector enough, so that she agrees to have The Pony Games hosted in The Crystal Kingdom, and for some reason, they thinks this means rapping all of their dialogue for the episode. Unfortunately, they accidentally not only pick up the wrong pony, but somehow get a pony who's not even real. Though luckily the actual inspector lets them host the game in The Crystal Kingdom anyway, because it's either that or host them in Ponyville, a Fate Worse than Death.

UFP 65 The Longest Recap: Twilight wakes up in a really weird place. Confused, she desperately calls for anyone to help, at which point Celestia shows up to explain what has happened to her.... starting by recapping every episode of the series up until that point, much to Twilight's annoyance. It is eventually revealed that Twilight was killed by her friends in a fit of rage, after her misuse of magic almost ruined their lives and she refused to apologize after they got mad, saying "What are you going to do, kill me!?". After learning she is dead, Twilight convinces Celestia to revive her, at which point she is brought back as an Alicorn Princess and her and her friends make up and call it a day.


UFP The Movie: The Moviening: After Twilight becomes an Alicorn, her and the others gather together to meet Celestia and.. the other princesses. It also happens to be their first movie, so Twilight wants to leave a good impression. Only for Celestia to immediately kill the moment. Afterwards, Twilight and Spike are sleeping peacefully in their room, until mysterious figures stills her princess crown/Element of Harmony! Soon afterwards, Celestia reveals it was her old apprentice Sunsh*t Sh*tter.. or whatever her name was, it's pretty hard to pronounce. It is now up to Twilight to travel through the mirror portal into another world, full people who are just alternate versions of ponies they know. Which they are just going to ignore.

     Season Four 

UFP 66 Weeds: After becoming an Alicorn Princess, Twilight soaks over the fact that despite being a princess now, her life is no more exciting and the season so far hasn't offered any opportunity for them to really up the ante in terms of adventure that she feels they should after a major change like that. But luckily the adventure has only just begun, as after facing potentially world shaking threat in previous season openers, she now must face a new threat: There are big black weeds everywhere... and that's about it. Also, she shoots Rainbow Dash dead out of frustration.

UFP 67 More Weeds: Twilight, after drinking Zecora's potion, learns the incredibly shallow past of Princess Celestia and Luna, and discovers that there's a tree in the Everfree forest that she and the rest of the crew have to bring the Elements of Harmony to. On the way there, Applejack tells her to go home, where she'll be safe in case they need one of the Elements, or something...

Twilight: Wait a minute... this isn't a parody! This is a plotline from the actual show, isn't it!
Rarity: Oh, crap, she's onto us!

UFP 68 Survivor Equestria: The cast participate in a "Survivor" parody, in the abandoned Castle of the Two Sisters.

UFP 69 Rainbow V Daring: Rainbow Dash leans that Daring Do looks and acts exactly like her and comes to the only logical conclusion: Daring Do stole her soul!!!! This is made even worse, when Twilight says Rainbow must slay her to save herself, or else Twilight will kill herself for living in a world where two Rainbow Dashes exist.

Twilight: Would you want to live like that?
Rainbow: No, I guess not.

UFP 70 You're Gonna Carry That Flag: The CMC compete to carry a flag for Ponyville in the upcoming Pony Games.. also, flags apparently have strange and random powers.

UFP 71 Saturday Morning Ponies: The Power Ponies!!!! use the magic of friendship and Celestia brand cigarettes to battle a super-villain, while a single long musical note plays in the background for most of the episode.

UFP 72 Batshy Crazy: Fluttershy is turned into a bat-pony after some kinky time with Discord, and it's up to her friends to turn her back to normal. Or not.

UFP 73 Bummer In The City: Rarity takes her friends to Manehattan, while she is entering a big fashion show, only for her dresses to get stolen by a rival designer.

UFP 74 But We're Cousins: Pinkie 2, in need of some severe character development, decides to join the Apple family in return for summoning an army of demons for them.

UFP 75 This One Time At Flight Camp: Rainbow Dash tries to get her "parents" attention, only to learn that she now has a rival for their affection.. well Soarin's affection at least.

UFP 76 Johnson: Twilight and Candice finale get a nice relaxing day alone together.. before Discord crashes the party, saying that he's all blue due to his missing friend, Johnson.

UFP 77 Hell Cheeses Over: A demon hunter by the name of Cheese Sandwich arrives in town, searching for a demon he believes has infiltrated the area, putting him in conflict with Pinkie Pie 2.

UFP 78 Keep It Clean: Rarity is nominated as the guide to escort the upcoming health inspector and prove to him, against all odds, that Ponyville is safe. To do this, she comes up with a brilliant plan: she's going sleep with him. Unfortunately, he's more into Applejack.

UFP 79 The Song Stress: The animals really get on Fluttershy's nerves, so she tries to sell them. She hires Rarity's a Capella quartet to perform at the event, and they turn to the least rational solutions they can think of when Big Mac loses his voice.

UFP 80 On Your Mark: The Cutie Mark Crusaders, in desperate need of cash, mark Twilight and scam her into giving them money.

UFP 81 The Wee Free Breezies: Fluttershy is visited by a group of strange invisible fairies, who have mistaken her for their god... or she's just delusional like her friends think.

UFP 82 Big Sister Is Watching: Applejack leaves Apple Bloom home alone for twenty seconds, and she manages to burn the kitchen down and kill their dog during that time. Trying to prove something, Apple Bloom then steals AJ's cart and runs into the woods.

UFP 83: Maud For Your Money: After several months of waiting, Pinkie Pie 2 finally introduces the first demon in her and The Apple Family's army: Maud the pacifistic demon.

UFP 84 Sweetie Dreams: Sweetie Belle gets angry at Rarity for not coming to her play. Princess Luna visits Sweetie during her dream to try and get her to get along with Rarity using the power of nuance (and possibly hypnosis), in possibly the most voice-grating episode ever.

UFP 85 Communion Whine: While looking for some medicine for Granny Smith's back pain, Applejack runs into Flim and Flam again, this time sporting a miracle cure blessed by High Commander What's His Face.

UFP 86 Remember The Name: The day has finally arrived, where Rainbow Dash will face the ultimate test to see if she succeeds in her life long dream of becoming a Wonder Bolt and being with her "family" or if all her lifelong dreams will be crushed. The test? Can she write her name on a piece of paper.

UFP 87 What Is The Deal: Twilight is put in charge of hosting the swap-meet in Rainbow Falls on her one day off and asks that her friends don't make things even harder for her, only for Pinkie to do just that, while the others go and mess around. Oh, and Rarity is played by a deranged honey-badger that makes random sound effects in this episode. She somehow manages to be more reasonable and level-headed than she normally is.

UFP 88 Creationism: Rarity is depressed because she can't think of anything to create, and Spike attempts to cheer her up by giving her a book (titled "The Bible") that probably maybe isn't cursed, much to Owlowiscious's chagrin.

UFP 89 A Very Special Olympics: The XIIVILCIIVIT (somehow meaning 2017) Ponylympic games are held in the Crystal Kingdom. Ponyville's chances of winning any gold medals are squandered when the CMC's flag turns out to be a "stuck in a time loop with one random cat" flag.

UFP 90 The Longest What Now?: Twilight has to visit the Crystal Kingdom and greet some foreign monarchs: a job that seems initially rather important, but all she really has to do is stand on a balcony and wave at them. Surely she can't fail such a trivial task.

Intermission card: Twilight screws up
Celestia sentences Twilight to ten years in prison, a sentence she can only appeal if she meets Celestia before the rooster crows: a deadline she misses because she idiotically chooses to talk with her friends in Ponyville. Cue end slate.

Just before the video ends in The Stinger, Celestia calls Twilight to the war room with grave news: Tirek, a centaur from a land very similar to our own, but only with smarter jokes, better continuity, and fewer racist jokes, is here to steal the power of our subscribers! They task Twilight to beat Tirek with the Elements of Harmony. Good thing they've been spending the entire season trying to find keys to open that dang box from the season opening. Wait a second... they didn't even spend five minutes looking for the dang things!


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